


Therapy

by MarySueIsDead



Category: Hey Arnold!
Genre: Drama, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2018-12-03 20:49:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 102,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11540190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarySueIsDead/pseuds/MarySueIsDead
Summary: A tale of three female pirates as they adventure on their ship through choppy adolescent waters, emotional storms, and hormonal sea-monsters to find the hidden treasure of acceptance and belonging. Oh yeah, and Arnold's in it too somewhere.





	1. Company

**_~2003~_ **

Warm grains of sand trickled between her fingers and toes. The ocean's breeze was balmy and the sun's rays were mild but kind. The girl propped her torso up onto her elbows and adjusted her sunglasses. A shimmer on the dark lenses reflected a sumptuous figure ascending from the ocean's blue water and foamy waves.

A red beach towel laid next to her own and between the towels resided a rainbow parasail stuck in the sand to provide shade; an exquisite beach house located about a hundred yards behind them. She attempted to brush some of the sand off cordially for her companion that approached her from the shore.

The figure became a striking young woman with jet black hair once she stood above the lying girl, her shoulders and head blocking the blinding sun. She smirked and almost literally plopped onto the red towel, leaning over to kiss the other girl on the cheek. "Thanks, Dahling." she stretched her arms back and then placed them behind her head, relaxing into the warm towel.

Helga grinned and lowered her sunglasses, "How's the water?" Her long blonde hair was up into a messy bun and her body sported a quaint pink bathing suit.

Rhonda decided on a scandalous black bikini that, when wet, hugged every curve of her body. Every little curve. And the sun's rays didn't help by glistening off of the soaked nylon. "It's pretty nice actually." She winked at the blonde. "You should quit being a pansy and hop in." she turned over onto her stomach and propped her chin onto her soft fists. "I want to see how your bathing suit fits you."

Helga scoffed, "I bet you do. You know you didn't have to get me a new suit." Granted she hadn't had a bathing suit that actually fit her since before her growth spurt at the prime age of thirteen, so it was well needed. But still, she had money. Rhonda didn't need to spoil her with everything.

"Sure I did. It was just recently Father's Day."

The blonde girl laughed. "You can't keep using holidays as excuses to get me things. They're not even good excuses."

"Sure they are. It's always a holiday somewhere. And you didn't like it when I said I wanted to get you things 'just cause', so now you have to get these lame ass excuses. Deal with it. You could just say _'oh thank you, sweet Rhonda'_ and then get up and show it off in front of me."

Helga rolled her eyes and stood up from her blanket, her lanky form exhibiting around ninety percent skin and legs. She pulled the hair tie from her bun, releasing a wave of golden locks around her back and shoulders. Tousling the hair around with her pale fingers she turned towards a now sitting Rhonda and posed under the appealing sunlight. Her sunglasses gleaming brightly, she questioned, "This good enough for you?"

Rhonda laughed almost too gleefully and clapped her hands. "Oh my god, it looks so marvelous. You look so marvelous, dahling!" she crossed her long tan legs, patted her lap and called mischievously to her companion. "Come sit on me so I can ravage you."

Helga chuckled as she made her way back to the set of towels, but the promiscuous gesture was interrupted when the shouting of two young men made its way to them, yards down the beach.

The guys approached the girls with a frisbee in hand, familiar faces they already knew. One with black curls and the other with unruly flaxen colored hair. His green eyes turned towards her as she lowered her sunglasses, and they met. He smiled, "Hey, Helga."

**_~1997~_ **

She didn't have much to say anymore. Exhaustion burdened down her voice and most days she watched TV and slept.

It was fifth grade and she continued to wear pigtails and pink attire, however they no longer struck fear into the hearts of her classmates at first sight. Fuchsia colored overalls took place of the dress, and she didn't adorn the iconic bow atop her head everyday like she used to. Something had recently changed within her soul. A sudden realization of this emptiness that had swollen and inflamed around her heart, bruises aching with each beat.

The bottled pain had finally caught up with her; not even her daydreams of Arnold could save her this time. Not even his physical form could trance her into a joyous and passionate euphoria. The emptiness had a name this time that should could pinpoint, and it was _chronic neglect_. Her immature emotions crumbled when face to face with this demon.

The former ten year old terror now lived with Olga as her primary caregiver in Bob and Miriam's blue condo, deep within the city of Hillwood. Turns out Mr. Pataki had gotten himself in a bit of trouble with a loan shark commonly known as Big Gino, Senior. Bob's Beepers was going under after the whole fiasco with Future Tech Industries and he had accrued a lot of debt and interest in order to save his beeper slash cell phone business. With more competitors merging with bigger corporations and partners, it was harder to keep productivity flowing and food on the table.

Obviously faking his own death seemed like the only logical solution.

She vividly remembered the day that they got a knock at the door saying Bob's Beepers had burnt to the ground along with Bob inside it.

Young Helga first felt doubt; Bob was stupid but he wasn't that stupid, and Miriam's melodramatic breakdown and sobbing in front of the police officers led her to believe that she might have known what was going on. She never saw her mother cry, and she damn well knew Mrs Pataki wouldn't cry over her father.

A week later from the incident, in the middle of the night, she heard a shuffling going on downstairs. Miriam was well knocked out from a bottle of whiskey she chugged around nine pm, so the young girl grabbed the stem of her floor lamp and cautiously carried it with her down the stairs, expecting to pummel a robber in the face if she needed to.

A light from the fridge illuminated the kitchen and the bottom of the stairs. It was a large burly figure digging around for a midnight snack. Helga lowered her lamp-weapon cautiously, "Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

Bob turned around quickly and grabbed his chest, his knuckles white and his face pale. "Jesus, Kid, you almost gave me another heart attack." He then sighed heavily, pulling out rye bread and mustard from the fridge. "Do I look dead? Didn't Miriam tell you to start packing?" he asked as he dumped the fridge contents onto the kitchen island counter.

Helga approached the counter opposite of him. "Packing for what?"

The grey haired brute finished making the sloppy sandwich and took a large bite, crumbs fluttering from his mouth as he spoke. "Were getting out of here! Going straight to Canada! They're supposed to be giving her the life insurance check here in the next week or so and then it's vamoose! New life! Easy street! We can get away from all the crooks of this town, eh?" He took another big bite.

"Didn't she tell you I have to speak to some investigators tomorrow?"

He froze mid bite and the chewed food fell from his mouth as panic filled his voice, "What?"

Helga indifferently crossed her arms. "Yeah, she gave them permission to meet and talk with me at school."

He quickly rounded the island and grabbed her roughly by shoulders, breathing hotly into her face, "Listen here little missy, you're the icing on this cake! Just make it believable that you miss your dear old papa, and I'll get you that pony you've been wanting." He winked at her confidently.

The next day she sat down in the principal's office with the investigators and before the professionally dressed man and woman could even ask her any questions she spoke up, "He's not dead."

The two were speechless but their expressions were not of surprise.

"He and my mom were planning to take the insurance money and run to Canada. But you can't use that confession in court, because he'll _literally_ kill me."

And they didn't. In fact, the detectives and insurance company had several pieces of evidence showing that the death was false, and the jury found both Mr and Mrs Pataki guilty of insurance fraud. They were both sentenced to 15 years in prison.

Why did she do it? Out of spite? Out of the way they had treated her her entire life? Sick and tired of the bullshit that they caused her everyday? It was a combination of these things. Maybe prison might actually be beneficial to her parents. Well, at least her mother, she was pretty sure that Big Gino's men had probably gotten a hold of her father's name by now.

Now life was mostly simple and numbing, when she could ignore her despair for a moment at least. Olga had moved back from Alaska once she got word and was actually able to take care of her sister's physical necessities. Food, water, shelter. She also drove her lil' sis to Dr Bliss' appointments every week. Helga figured she was trying to make up for all the corruption she had to live with and was exposed to for the past couple years.

"How do you genuinely feel about what happened to your parents?"

Helga took in a shallow breath as she laid on the couch and lied, staring intently at the ceiling texture. "Not really much feelings. Just...it was a pretty stupid move." She scoffed, "I mean, he didn't even leave a body. Where the hell is his body supposed to be? He could've at least thought to dig up a corpse and throw it in there."

Dr Bliss hesitated for a moment as she jotted down notes onto her clipboard. "So...you're not upset about the situation in any way?"

Helga briskly sat up with annoyance and faced the doctor in response, "I'm upset I have to bear the Pataki name for the rest of my life. I mean it's all over the newspapers. They're morons!" She crossed her arms in a huff.

"Alright, well we'll change the subject then. How're you and Olga settling into your place?

The young girl shrugged casually. "It's fine. It's weird to actually get a full night's sleep. Not to be waken up every hour with yelling and fucking and drunkery." Yes, a ten year old just said fucking.

Dr Bliss sighed disappointedly, "Now Helga, I really appreciate your willingness to be candid with me, but I will have to request we don't use certain words in our sessions."

"Sorry, Doc."

"That's quite alright, we can change the topic again." She looked down through her notes and flipped a couple pages. "One thing we haven't spoken about since this whole thing really started is the Arnold situation. How do you feel about that as of late?"

To be honest, she truly hadn't thought much about Arnold in weeks. Kind of hard to focus on the footballheaded wonder when your parents are planning on lying and running from the law. "Haven't really thought about it…"

Another thing was, she hadn't been to school either for these past weeks. Which was pretty shitty, because it meant she might have been held back a year, but it didn't really matter. The bright side was, she would be in a group of different kids, wouldn't have to see Arnold every day, wouldn't have to exert her energy towards making his life miserable, as Doctor Bliss put it.

"Well, I won't press you too much. I know you've been through alot in these past few weeks. What would you like to talk about this session?" she asked kindly.

The girl stared out the window, her blue eyes reflecting the ordinary and regular shaped clouds. Silence consuming the words trapped in her throat.

**_XOXOX_ **

During those past weeks, many of her classmates had called; checked up on her, wanted to see how she was doing. And by classmates, she meant mostly Phoebe. Turns out her best friend of many years had some disdainful news about her parents as well. Her Grandfather and Grandmother were getting older and needed some assisted living in Kentucky. Since the elderly couple refused to move to New York, the Heyerdahls planned on moving there to help the couple until they passed. The agenda was selling their condo and moving within the next month or so.

Helga rarely responded to these calls, mostly because it was too painful. And she didn't want to wear down Phoebe's mood with her own dreadful and dreary one.

One was even a call from Arnold, who probably felt it in his do goody conscious to give her a ring. Like it really mattered.

_Hey Helga, I just want to say sorry about your parents...everyone here at school misses you and we can't wait to have you back...I've taken the liberty of writing down all the assignments you've missed and look forward to helping you pass the fifth grade. Oh, by the way, sorry I ruined your life and I'm a big douchebag that only thinks with my do goody unrealistic optimism and blah blah blah…_

At least she remembers it being something like that.

So she eventually returned to school, and it wasn't exactly the turnout she had expected. Everyone was more torn over the fact that Phoebe was leaving than the fact that she had returned. Not like she really cared, she didn't really feel like talking to anyone about her scandalous family. And even after seeing Arnold's face again, she thought she would instantaneously feel all that bustling love and hatred intertwined into an emotional frenzy, but there was nothing there. Well, there was something; the exhaustion and twinges of pain. The void.

Young Arnold grinned at her as he passed her desk, walking to his own. "Hey Helga, glad you're back."

She just faintly glared at him as he strolled by. Was that good? Was that Helga-y? It would have to do for now.

After second period, she rushed to the girl's bathroom to catch a breather; sat in one of the stalls and forced back the oncoming tears. Everything started to flood her conscious at once. Dr Bliss always told her crying was a good thing. Holding back crying was deteriorating her relationships and future friendships or some crap. Crying was for suckers.

The door to the girl's bathroom opened and she heard the clacking of expensive shoes. There was a pause from the wearer. "Is someone in here?"

Helga sighed and responded bleakley, "No one important."

"Helga? Helga is that you?" The other girl knocked on the stall, her voice familiar and red shoes identifiable as the blonde peered under the stall door. "Let me in."

She quickly wiped her tears from her cheeks, "I'm not letting you in you creepy weirdo. What if I was naked in here?"

"Why would you be naked in a bathroom stall?"

"….you know...changing clothes or something…."

Actual compassion graced her voice. "Please?"

The blonde rolled her eyes, sighed again and reluctantly opened the stall. Rhonda rushed in and hastily closed it behind her. She smelled like something costly and looked extravagant in her scarlet blouse and black skirt.

"Oh my god, I read about everything in the papers. Are you okay? I mean, I completely understand about parents and losing money. Parents can just be so horrible sometimes! What goes through their brains?"

The side of Helga's mouth curled a bit in amusement but she let out a scoff, "I'm fine, Princess."

Rhonda reassuringly placed her palm upon the girl's chest as she energetically continued, "I'm just saying, if you need anything, I'm totally here to talk. I completely understand what you're going through."

Helga managed an awkward smile, seeing as she and Rhonda never had conversations like these, or close encounters of the such. "Well as invigorating as this discussion is, right now I think I just need some bathroom alone time so…"

The black haired girl's brown eyes lit up, "Oh! Sure thing, well, here's my number if you ever want to give me a ring." She reached into her push up bra and pulled out a fake business card.

**_XOXOX_ **

The late homework weighed down her backpack as she threw it over her shoulders when school ended. Hopping onto the bus, she put the backpack on the seat next to her, making sure no one could sit by or talk to her. When she got home, she flipped the backpack upside down; all the books and papers spilling onto her desk messily and after about an hour of completing quizzes that were already too easy for her high IQ, she pulled up a book and under it was Rhonda's card. The blonde stared at the printed piece of paper and tapped her pencil on the desk for a couple minutes, pondering what to do.

Her eyes glanced over at the phone that resided on the nightstand next to her bed. Guess, a little break couldn't hurt.

After two rings, a younger girl answered. _"Yes, Dahling?"_

The blonde's fingers fidgeted as she absentmindedly twirled the phone cord. "Hey, it's uh, Helga." She cleared her throat. "H-Helga Pataki."

_"Oh, hey! I'm happy you called!"_

She gently scoffed. "Your business card was pretty compelling."

_"Did you like that? I drew it out and then copied and printed out about a hundred of 'em. You never know when you might need one."_

"How many cards have you given out?"

_"You're actually the first one!"_

"Well doesn't that make me special." Helga rolled her eyes.

Rhonda laughed pleasantly, _"So, what would you like to talk about?"_

The blonde girl took in a deep breath and sat onto her bed, hesitantly responding, "Well...there is something I kind of want your opinion on…"

_"Sure! What is it?"_

"I mean, I already have a professional opinion, like, really professional, but um…" she bit her lip.

_"Yes?"_

"...Since my reputation is ruined anyways...Before all this stuff happened, uh….I was pretty...madly in love with….a classmate of ours...and you know before, I thought if anyone ever found out, I'd have to kill them...but now I'm thinking, I really don't want to end up in prison at a family reunion so…"

_"Hmmm, can I ask who it is?"_

"You can ask, doesn't mean I'll tell."

_"Well...I mean, I can get that. How do you feel about this person now?"_

Helga gazed solemnly out her window at the warm yet chilly dusk. "...I don't know…"

_"What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think about them?"_

Her throat went dry as the emptiness awoke, looking her right in the face, as if she were staring into a ghostly mirror, "….distance."

**_~2000~_ **

Years passed, people forgot about her family's scandal. She was actually doing well in school and at home. Olga had gotten a promising job as a vice principal at P.S. 119 and with that income she was able to buy Helga the things she needed. New clothes, school lunches, school supplies. Even a pair of glasses. Her vision had been poor for a while, even when she lived with Bob and Miriam, but she knew they wouldn't spend a dime on a new pair of sneakers for her let alone for new glasses. It made her look nerdy, but she really didn't feel like poking her eye several times a day with contact lenses.

The adventure was a fond one. Olga gently patted her on the back as they reached Suber's Optometry and Boutique, "So little sis, you can pick out whichever pair you want."

Rhonda came too of course, now that they had become close friends. She definitely wanted an input on the glasses Helga chose, since she herself occasionally wore glasses and knew that fashion was important.

The blonde peered at the vast selection and picked out a pair of large frames, placing them over her blue eyes. She turned to Rhonda and gasped, "Oh my god, you actually have a face!" she jokingly cupped her friend's tan cheeks in her palms, "I thought you were just a blurry mess this whole time!"

The brown eyed girl anxiously grabbed her friend's wrists, removing the girl's pale hands from her face. "Are you serious!?"

Helga laughed out loud, her face scrunched in amused breathlessness. "No! I could kinda see your face before." She adjusted the glasses on her nose and then raised a brow looking at the dark haired girl. "But now looking at you it's…"

Rhonda's demeanor perked up, she then batted her eyelashes alluringly, "Mesmerizing? Breathtaking?"

"Hmm, revealing…" she responded, pulling up her fingers to her chin as she continued to stare.

"Revealing? Is that a good thing?" The girl questioned excitedly.

Helga just shrugged casually, grinning slightly as quaintly messing with Rhonda was one of her new favorite past times. "You'll never know."

**_XOXOX_ **

Dr Bliss appointments were still on the regular, even though she was exiting out of her childhood phase. The doctor still took Miss Pataki in to treat her for her last year at PS 118.

"What's new?" The older woman asked as she crossed her legs and politely took a sip of the mug of coffee she usually had at these appointments.

The thirteen year old shrugged simply. Her new large frames gracing her face. "I think I had sex."

Dr Bliss spit out her coffee in response and choked for a moment on the drink. Regaining and adjusting her composure she delicately questioned, "Um...if you wouldn't mind elaborating?"

"Rhonda went down there."

"Down where?"

"You know, in the vagina area."

"I mean...were you girls just...exploring? Or...has this been a recurring thing?"

Helga calmly shrugged again. "Well it started off as exploring. She found some of her Dad's adult vhs tapes, and then wanted me to watch them with her. And then, I don't know, wanted to see what I looked like down there. Wanted to see what I tasted like."

Dr Bliss massaged the bridge of her nose with her fingers as she closed her eyes and prepared for the awkward conversation. She would expect Bob and Miriam not necessarily educating their daughter on the birds and the bees, but she assumed Olga would eventually mention something as an older sister. "Helga, you're a child. They're called adult videos for a reason."

"I'm hardly a child." The girl's disposition stiffened and her eyes darkened.

Bliss sighed desperately and placed her hands together, leading them to the edge of her lips as she processed this. "I'm not going to tell you what to do, but if you are going to continue exploring like this, you should know about sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, all the things that come with having sex."

She scoffed, "I'm not an idiot, I know it takes a dude's junk in there too to make a baby."

The doctor paused before she continued cautiously, "I also want to know one thing. Is this consensual? Do you want to do this? Because if you don't, you should definitely tell Rhonda about your feelings. Or if this feels wrong to you in any way, you should mention it to your sister."

Helga looked down and then her eyes eventually moved back to the window, staring back at those ordinary clouds. Her voice softened, _"It fills something. Like there's a big hole...and it fills it."_

**_XOXOX_ **

She hadn't written anything new in the past couple years really. Maybe she was accepting the fact that Arnold was no longer the only thing that could satisfy her desires of love and affection. Not that she was in love with Rhonda or anything, the two seemed to be good friends, and with Rhonda's new blossom into womanhood, Miss Lloyd wanted to explore ventures that she had been exposed to through some of her father's hidden stash of magazines and tapes.

How did she feel about it? Well, just like she told Dr Bliss, it was filling. It was satisfying. Someone was touching her, and it honestly didn't matter how they were doing it. She was being touched, and it was in a comforting and cordial way. It also didn't matter that Rhonda wasn't the best at giving head, but you know, that's what practice was for.

There were positive responses when she went down to her friend's nether region, even though most of the time she had no idea what she was doing. It tasted kind of like pennies.

She felt a pair of hands lift her head up from her motions of tender licking and sucking. Aroused brown eyes met her glistening blues. _"Can we try something?"_ Rhonda whispered. Not that they needed to be quiet, Buckley and Brooke were out at some fancy shmancy mixer and the two were alone in the large upper east side penthouse.

_"What kind of something?"_

The girl bit her lip for a moment, _"Can I kiss you? You know, just to see what I taste like."_

Helga's heart raced a little as they both adjusted on Rhonda's bed and sat next to each other. She wasn't sure how she felt about it. Being that Arnold was the only other person that she had kissed or wanted to kiss. Thinking of Arnold made her heart race more, but not in a good way. Bad memories began to surface.

Rhonda chuckled nervously as she blushed at the thought of her request, "If you don't want to, that's totally fi-"

She was cut off by Helga's lips pressing against her mouth. The dark haired girl closed her eyes in a pleasured reaction and eagerly kissed the blonde back, it lasted for a few moments before Helga pulled away, tears sparkling on her cheeks as they ran.

Rhonda was immediately alerted and placed her hand comfortingly upon her companion's shoulder, "Are you crying?"

The blonde sobbed for a moment but choked up the tears that flooded her face, "I don't know, what does it look like, Einstein?" She snapped.

"Oh my god, was that too much? We didn't have-"

"It's not that…." Helga breathed out as she wiped her cheeks and stifled the tears. "I started my period yesterday. That's why I didn't want you to do anything tonight. It's literally a bloody mess down there."

"Oh, well...thank you...Is that all?"

Her hands fled to her face and she repressed another sob, _"These feelings just get pushed down, and then they come back up and then they get pushed down again, and the emptiness is so real, and so scary...it's so real..."_

Rhonda hesitated, trying to think of the right thing to say. She had her depressions sure, but she also had vices that helped with the pain; her parents alcohol, her mother's weed and painkillers, her father's magazines and vhs tapes. Smothering these emotions of inadequacy and imperfection that her parents made her feel on a constant basis was the only way she knew how to cope. She wasn't good at the whole empathy or sharing emotions thing. But she would try for Helga. "Is this because I have a boyfriend? Because, you know, Blake, he's just there for show, for my parents and-"

"What? No, I don't care about that...I'm talking about my mother, my father. Olga barely tolerates me, and Arn-..." She caught herself, more soft tears spilling from her weary blue eyes.

There was silence in the penthouse.

Rhonda took in a deep breath. "It's okay, I kind of knew you loved Arnold. You um, had some pink journals lying about in your closet one day and...I apologize, I read a page or two."

Helga roughly stood up and anger filled her voice. "Well now you know I'm a pathetic idiot."

The black haired girl shook her head fervently, "No I think it's very romantic. I wish anybody cared about me as much as you care about Arnold…" She stood up as well from the bed and awkwardly placed her hand behind her neck. "Um, when we fool around do you think about him?"

Helga's rage dissipated as her mind processed the question, she never thought of that. "No...my feelings for him aren't sexual." She slowly turned around to face her half naked friend. Rhonda's brown eyes were stressed but genuine. Caring in a way. "Dr Bliss described it as...falling in love with an idea...not necessarily the person. She said Arnold is just an idea to me. I just greatly desire to be noticed and loved."

Rhonda shuffled her feet a little uncomfortably and quietly responded. "She seems like she could be right on that."

Helga walked back to the bed and sat down on the edge, no longer crying she just sighed greatly. Her anxiety fading as her friend sat next to her.

 _"Do you like me?"_ Rhonda whispered as their eyes met again and Helga grinned slightly, shrugging her shoulders.

"Yeah, you're okay."

"You know, if you ever want to stop, we don't have to-"

She was cut off again by Helga's lips, only this time the encounter was softer, gentler. The blonde pulled away slowly and her eyes were sweet as she gazed back at her companion in the darkness, _"I like the company."_

**_~2003~_ **

Now here she was, staring into those green pools of a familiar she used to know; that face, those lips she kissed on this very beach seven years ago.

Gerald confidently spun the frisbee around on his index finger, "What brings you fine ladies to Cape Cod on this beautiful summer day?"

Rhonda scoffed, amused, "I believe you just answered your question. It's a beautiful summer day, and we are fine ladies." She winked coyly.

"Fair enough."

Arnold chimed in, "We're just staying at the old duplex with my Grandpa, about a mile down the beach from here. You guys want to join in in a game of frisbee?"

Helga stayed silent, and turned to look at Rhonda. Anxiety crept and through her arteries, she took in a short breath through her nostrils to clear her head a little. Talking would've disturbed any small amount of control she could muster.

Rhonda sensed the sole tension her friend was going through and quickly threw on a graceful grin. "Tempting, gentlemen. Unfortunately, we made plans of our own. Pressing matters, really. However, we are heading back into the city tomorrow, and I am throwing my annual 'End of Summer Bash', you two are welcome to come if you're free."

Gerald laughed and nudged Arnold. "I think Arnold got a little too messed up from your last party."

The footballhead blushed as the group now shared a chuckle, remembering how at Rhonda's last party the blonde haired young man might have had a little bit too much to drink, took off all his clothes and ran around the girl's penthouse like he had just escaped the looney bin. He also made out with a chia pet.

"You're body is nothing to be ashamed of, Arnold." Rhonda responded rather suggestively and Helga covered her mouth to suppress a humorous scoff.

Arnold sighed and glared at Gerald for bringing up the event he hoped everyone would forget. "Guess I'll just have to live with it. Anyway, thank you for the invitation, but we're actually staying here for the summer sandcastle competition. This years prize is five hundred dollars."

Helga clenched her fists as her demons razzled and kicked her in the stomach. "Good for you, Footballhead." she quipped rather shortly and turned to Rhonda. "I have to take a piss." And stomped as politely as she could away from her classmates and back to the expensive beach house the Lloyd family had rented for the weekend.

Once she got inside she headed straight to the bathroom and turned on the faucet; setting down her sunglasses she splashed the cold water onto her face. The teenager coughed and turned off the running water, gazing into the mirror at her wet sun kissed cheeks.

Helga inhaled greatly, the restlessness in her bowels resided some. She sat down onto the lid of toilet and clasped her hands together, her deep breaths continuing as she closed her eyes tightly and tried to concentrate on Dr Bliss' voice inside her head, but her own voices were drowning out the sense and logic.

_Stupid asshole. Stupid fucking asshole. Stupid sandcastles. Does he have another bimbo helping him this time? Maybe Gerald and him could be on fucking Baywatch together and suck each others faces off. Why this beach? Why this fucking weekend?_

A knock at the door sent the voices fluttering back to the dark corners of her mind. "Hey, it's me."

Helga swallowed roughly and stuttered, wiping some of the water off of her cheeks. "I'm just having some bathroom alone time."

"May I come in?"

The blonde sighed with relinquish in her voice. "Fine."

The door cracked open and Rhonda slowly entered, quietly closing it behind her. Her red towel wrapped around her waist. Her shoulder length black hair was now tied into a damp bun atop of her head. "Feeling some stress?"

Helga gave a sarcastic scoff. "I thought they would never shut up and leave." Her facial features hardened as she stared down at her feet. A tender hand touched her jaw and her chin rose to meet a pair of exquisite brown eyes.

The eyes twinkled as Rhonda grinned amicably. The tall girl dropped her towel to the ground and sat onto her friend's lap, wrapping her thighs snugly around Helga's waist. "Forget about them. You just know they're totally going to jerk each other off in one of those sandcastles."

The blonde let out a genuine laugh. "I like how you assume every teenage dude just wants to jerk off another teenage dude."

"Oh my god, that's because it's so true. Every guy is a little bit bi-curious. Men are incredibly sexual creatures. How could they not think that every once in awhile?" She giggled, running her fingers through her companion's blonde hair and Helga closed her eyes in an enchanted response. _"Speaking of sexual creatures…"_

"You know this is like my one weakness, right?" It seemed like someone playing with your hair was one of god's special gifts to man/woman. Pizza, weed and alcohol probably came in a close second.

Helga drew in a deep breath as Rhonda continued to play with her golden locks and occasionally scratch her scalp. She let out a moan, barely audible, and then a faint chuckle. "You're just waiting for me to say it, aren't you?"

The dark haired girl raised her brow but smiled seductively as she gazed down at her friend and licked her elegant lips. "Say what?"

The blonde rolled her eyes. "You're such a Leo." She then forcibly wrapped her arms around Rhonda's waist and pressed their torsos together firmly. Her chin raised so her mouth would meet her companion's left ear and she whispered lowly, ultimately captivating Miss Lloyd's thoughts and emotions. _"Fuck me."_

**_XOXOX_ **

The next day she debated on going to the party. Rhonda and her parents had dropped her off at the condo that morning and she had some time to relax and shower before her plans of settling into bed with a good marathon of Buffy. The anxiety from the day before was still lingering but faded and even if Arnold wouldn't be there, she still had to deal with other classmates. Gross.

A wet towel intertwined with her long blonde locks from the shower, and she flipped on Bob's large screen TV which she had moved into her room after her parents were imprisoned. She plopped her butt onto her bed as she broke into a fresh bag of pork rinds and picked the phone off of the nightstand, checking for new voicemails. She munched on the crispy treats as she listened.

_"Hey, when are you going to get a cell phone? Helga, it's 2003! I don't very much enjoy censoring my voicemails because Olga could be listening. Anyway, you better be coming to my party tonight. My parents literally just left for that broadway show and they'll probably be stuck in Time Square till at least two am. Plus, I got that thing we were talking about yesterday, and it's not going to smoke itself! Please, bitch. You seriously make my parties that much better. Well, for me at least. Okay, don't forget! Bye!"_

Helga placed the phone back onto the receiver and sighed, looking down into her bag of pork rinds. Guess a little bud couldn't hurt. And a little alcohol. And a little of not Arnold. She could definitely use some calming to her neurotic and unruly brain and Rhonda seemed to provide whenever she needed it. Dr Bliss' voice re-entered her head. She needed to medicate and cope in a healthy manner, like through exercise or meditation or some crap. Not through self destructive tendencies.

Helga shrugged. Weed never killed anybody.

**_XOXOX_ **

All the biggest hits of 2003 were playing over Rhonda's surround sound through the lavished penthouse. Helga had already devoured a plate of finger sandwiches and Rhonda and she shared a bottle of aged whiskey as they hung out by the stereo in case anybody made a request.

The intoxication ate away the nervousness in her blood as she enjoyed the company of her longtime friend. They would brush hands here and there, whisper promiscuous things into each others ears and come face to face a little too close at times, but it's not like anyone there would ogle. Their classmates were too hammered or high to notice through all the dancing, making out and dry humping.

The blonde took a swig of the strong alcohol and winced. "I'm just like...I get so tired of being like, the bigger man all the time… sorry, _'woman'_. There's like this little voice inside me saying like, _'Be responsible, Helga. Be fucking responsible.'_ And honestly I think it's Dr Bliss' voice." she handed over the handle to Rhonda.

The black haired girl took a gulp as well but she smiled, as alcohol had been in her blood for a couple hours now. She slurred, "Oh my god, I know exactly what you're talking about. It's like, this voice, saying, _'don't smoke so much weed, don't drink so much alcohol'_. And I'm like, fuck you, voice! Alcohol and weed is amazing!"

Helga shook her dizzy head and her feet stumbled a little. "Oh my god, I just, I know so much about what you're talking about. And like, when we saw Arnold yesterday on the beach you know what I wanted to do? I just wanted to punch him in his stupid face, like, so bad. Like, just so bad."

Rhonda smiled mischievously to herself as she handed over the bottle. "Yeah, but you know, the fucking was pretty great too." She bit her bottom lip as memories from yesterday crept back into her drunken and horny conscious.

"Oh my god, yeah, like, thanks so much for that. I really needed that." Helga took another drink and coughed at the taste this time.

The hostess closed her eyes and dramatically clutched her chest. "Oh my god, it was like, my absolute fucking pleasure. Fucking you is great." She opened her eyes and paused for a moment, they widened. "Oh my god, I'm gonna go get that thing I was talking about! I'll be right back!" She rushed away through the crowd of people that were dancing in her living room and Helga chuckled to herself. Drunken thoughts bouncing around in her head.

 _The fucking, mmmm, the fucking._ She giggled again to herself as she slowly closed her eyes. _Punch him in his stupid face. Football face getting punched. Stupid sandcastles. Probably gonna suck Gerald's face off..._

_"Helga?"_

A sweet sound echoed through the jumbled thoughts like a bowling ball to pins.

_"Helga?"_

The voice echoed through her mind again, this time it seemed very familiar. A pair of light hazel eyes appeared through the fog of her imagination, through the haze of intoxication. An embrace of warmth coiled itself around her heart as she slowly opened her glazed blue eyes at the figure that stood before her at the lively and heated party.

Her heart stopped. The party stopped. The music stopped. The inebriated thoughts faded and emotions rose to meet her brain in a flush of fervor and magic.

The shorter figure that stood before her had black hair with purple and blue streaks, no glasses but the face was entirely recognizable and familiar. Her eyes were a light hazel.

_"Phoebe?"_


	2. Cockroach

_**~1998~** _

The room was chillier than she remembered in previous sessions. Maybe it was just her, maybe she was slipping away from this frigid reality into something much colder. She had kept her mental state in order this past year. Focusing on everything Bliss encouraged her to do. Seek favorable friendships, pursue her academics in a constructive fashion. Well, take nine steps forward, ten steps back.

"I had a nightmare last night." She mentioned as Bliss pulled out a blanket from a drawer in her desk. She walked over to her young client and held out the blanket.

"Would you like to talk about it?" The doctor asked as the girl's shivering fingers quickly grabbed the cloth.

Helga wrapped it around her small yet maturing body and took a deep breath, altering her gaze to her feet. "Well...I'm lying on the ground...naked. Darkness surrounds me...but then there's a spotlight on my body. I'm paralyzed...and then I l-look down and a demon arises from my feet. He slithers his face up to my torso... _I think it might be Arnold_." She ended quietly.

Bliss took a seat in her chair across from the chaise couch and crossed her legs, pulling up the little notebook from the chair cushion and started to write. "What makes you think that?"

"The demon has a football shaped head."

The doctor chuckled kindly. "That could be a good indicator. Anything else in the dream?"

The blonde girl sighed profoundly again. "He then just starts laughing. Lowly. Evilly...His red eyes gleaming as he digs his claws into my chest, pulls apart the flesh, my rib cage, and then yanks my heart out. He holds it in his grip, the spotlight glistens off of it, and I'm speechless. I didn't realize any part of me could be so tender, lovely...beautiful...And then he cackles and starts devouring it. I scream. I become covered in the splatter. There's blood all over his...demonic face, and then I wake up."

Bliss hesitated for a moment before responding. "That's quite a vivid nightmare. Do you think it means anything?"

"I don't know. I've barely thought of him lately, but yet my subconscious must think otherwise." Helga then glanced up and adjusted her gaze onto the doctor. "Do you think he owns a part of me?"

The older woman sighed and set down her notes. She clasped her fingers together onto her lap. Compassion filled her voice, "Oh, Helga. He can only own you if you let him. Do I think we give a part of ourselves to those we love and care about? Yes I do. Parts that we necessarily cannot get back. But ownership is completely different. You own you. I've seen that strong will in you, I know you have it. You make think it's lost, but it's not. You will eventually overcome this demon, and that's what I think this nightmare is. A reflection of your past memories manifesting into a demon of the present."

The young girl became silent as she processed the doctor's response. Yesterday had been a good day. The class had traveled to the Aquarium on a field trip, and she and Rhonda saw the angel fish and sharks. She would even dare to say yesterday had been pleasant, yet today had transformed into an arctic shadow; chilling her to her core. " _...I think he scares me."_ she whispered, voice trembling.

Bliss arose from her chair, walked over and knelt in front of the blonde. She delicately took the ends of the blanket and comfortingly fastened the warmth around her short client and then placed a consoling hand upon the girl's shoulder. " _Helga, are you sure it's not_ _ **you**_ _that scares you?"_

_**~2003~** _

Silver piercings glistened brightly in her dimples as she smiled, and there were several more. A vertical labret through her bottom lip; sterling shimmering on her nostrils, eyebrows, and in her ears.

Her hair was still sleek and as dark as the night, although blue and purple streaks now rebelliously waved their colors amongst the black. Her forearms and wrists were wrapped snuggly in violet ribbon and she struck a band tee with a pair of tight, torn up, navy jeans.

Black eyeshadow and mascara dazzled around her light hazel eyes and faint scars adorned the right side of her face. "Helga? Are you feeling alright?" the shorter girl asked, noticing the blonde's disheveled composure.

Helga gulped, stunned for words at this person that looked like her long lost best friend. Sounded like her long lost best friend, but was obviously different. And she was quite confused also at the fact that her heart was racing, but there was no Arnold. No Bad memories. She managed a sentence. "I...I love Dr. Iron Claw."

Phoebe paused for a moment but then looked down at her Dr. Iron Claw band t-shirt and grinned slightly. "As do I."

The music spiraled around them as time had resumed again, but Helga still had no words. Maybe it was the booze that just made awkward silences less awkward. All she could do was stare; take in each and every detail of this nostalgic yet striking figure before her. The heat of the room began to take over her senses until another voice broke her enchantment.

"Helga!" Rhonda yelled over the music and brashly fumbled into her friend, she quickly regained her balance as she pulled a bag of greenery from her bra. "Finally for fuck's sake, I thought I'd never make it through that crowd. Anyways, Fuzzy Slippers gave me this, it's called 'Moon Rocks'. I'm just sayin' you better buckle your seat, fuck-o, because we're about to blast off, bitch!" She then turned to the figure that caught Helga's attention and her eyes widened. "Phoebe!? Oh my god! Phoebe Heyerdahl!?" She took the shorter girl's hand abruptly and shook it confidently. "Rhonda Wellington Lloyd at your service. My pussy is insured for a million dollars." She chimed in charmingly at the end.

Helga scoffed but laughed at the same time. She had sobered some from the nostalgic encounter. "There's no such thing as 'pussy insurance'."

Rhonda dropped Phoebe's hand and turned back to Helga, her hands fell roughly onto her hips in a huff. "How would you know? Are you a fucking insurance broker?"

"No, but just because it's not 'real' insurance, doesn't mean it's not a good bit." The blonde continued to chuckle, her drunken state still lingering.

The hostess smiled to herself rather haughtily. "It is a good bit, isn't it?"

Helga then nudged Rhonda lightly on the shoulder, breaking her from her egotistical thoughts. "By the way, why didn't you tell me Phoebe was coming?"

The taller girl shrugged blatantly. "So many people come to these things I can't keep count of everyone. No offense."

Phoebe giggled as she had been viewing this amusing drunken argument, and held up her hand. "None taken. I actually arrived into town a couple days ago and I bumped into Sheena at Tom's Market. She mentioned it to me. I honestly didn't mean to intrude uninvited."

Rhonda casually draped her arm over Phoebe's shoulders a little too comfortably. "Girl, all the cool people are invited to my parties, so I'll let it slide this time." She held the little bag up again with the pungent smelling buds. "So what about it, Pheebs?" she pulled the shorter girl closer. " _You want to taste the stars?"_

Phoebe blushed at Rhonda's intimate proximity and coughed politely, glancing towards Helga. "Wow, how can you say no to this inveigling woman?"

Helga rolled her eyes. "Like this." She hooked her arm under the hostess's armpit and pulled her away from an unsuspecting Phoebe. "No, Rhonda, no. _Bad girl_. Let Pheebs settle into town at least before she gets caught up into your tantalizing web.

The taller girl chuckled, and then drunkenly wrapped her arms around Helga's nape. "Oh, black widow!" She playfully sunk her teeth into the blonde's neck.

Her blue eyes widened anxiously, she snickered nervously. "Okie dokie, that's enough whiskey for you, heh."

The shorter girl browsed over at the large elegant clock above the gas heated fireplace in the penthouse and chimed in courteously, "Honestly, I would love to smoke whatever moon magic is in that cannabis floret, However, it's actually close to my curfew and my father would fulminate at my bad attendance this hour."

Managing to pull away from Rhonda's grasp, the blonde acknowledged, "Oh well, you know, when you're available, we should catch up sometime."

"I would enjoy that. I'll see you ladies later." Phoebe waved goodbye and her glistening silver faded away as she dipped into the dancing crowd.

Rhonda whispered lowly, slowly appearing behind Helga. Her nails creeping over the blonde's torso. " _She filled out nicely. Hmmm?"_

She sneered and turned around to face her intoxicated partner. "Be a little more tolerable, huh? Are you sure you can handle your drink and your smoke?"

The dark haired girl lifted the little baggy to her nose and smelled the THC in an enchanted response. "I'll do ya even better than that, I'll also take that pussy of yours on a pleasure ride to orgasm-opolis, population: _my tongue_."

Helga deliberately twitched her eyelids and pretended to roll her eyes back into her skull. "Oh my god." She mumbled almost inaudibly in annoyance. " _Because you're so great at that when you're hammered."_

"What?"

"Nothing." Her voice sweetly countered.

_**~1997~** _

Sitting alone at lunch was a daily occurrence, and to think at one point in time she made fun of Big Patty for sitting alone at lunch time. But she couldn't complain, talking was taxing and tiresome.

And like an ironic response to her thoughts, a figure sat cheerfully beside her at the depressing lunch table.

Helga glared at the proper, well groomed girl as she pulled out an array of polished fruits and vegetables from her paper lunch sack. "What're you doing sitting next to me?" Their talk on the phone had been pleasant the other night, but she didn't realize that Rhonda actually wanted to speak to her in public. Or let alone be seen with her. She figured the princess was just being nice that day since she was found pathetically crying in a bathroom stall.

"We're good acquaintances!" She started cutting into her avocado with a plastic butter knife she also pulled from the sack, "What do you have today? Mother and I are currently on an organic cleanse. Ever since her yogini mentioned one of her chakras was blocked, she's been completely gung ho about correcting it."

Helga chewed slowly and skeptically on her sandwich. "Pastrami sandwich, chips, soda."

"You _must_ try the tri-tip Daddy makes when he's sauced. It actually turns out pretty good. His quality increases the more intoxicated he gets." She mentioned as she continued to prepare her food.

The blonde just stared at her quietly.

Rhonda finally noticed the tension and stopped her arrangement. She met her companion's hard blue eyes. "What?"

"Is this for real? I didn't realize we had advanced from _casually_ talking on the phone to _casually_ eating lunch together." As far as she was concerned, they were not in the same social circle. They did not sit together in classes. They did not pass notes back and forth. She was starting to believe it was just a mean trick to somehow leave her vulnerable and opportune to belittlement.

Rhonda returned her a question with a confused look.

"I'm not _**cool**_ , Rhonda. What is this then, a charity? Pity? Why are you being so nice to me?" She asked bluntly.

The wealthy girl sighed rather uncomfortably. "Phoebe's not the only one that left Hillwood. Nadine and her family also moved to Washington state in hopes for a more...bohemian lifestyle."

Helga continued to stare but it softened some with her realization. "So...you're lonely."

She avoided the statement, "I can make you cool, ya know."

"I don't want to be cool. I want people to leave me alone."

"I can do that too." She responded quickly but then took in another deep breath. "If you must know, recent events have made you more approachable. More likable."

"Glad you're looking to take advantage of my susceptibility." She responded darkly and sarcastically, looking away from the girl sitting next to her.

"No, no, no, I meant that as a compliment. I looked at the benefits, with junior high approaching, the increasing number of students, I may need a bodyguard. And in exchange, I can provide you with anything you may need or want. Yahoo soda? Bang Comics? Tickets to Wrestlemania events?"

Helga turned back. "How about friendship?"

Rhonda became silent.

"Look, I realize that you're kind of crappy at expressing that you don't want to be alone. But, you don't need to come up with a sales pitch. You don't need to make me cooler. If you want to be friends, we can try. We can put our trivial matters behind us and start anew. That would include my protection if you needed it." The blonde stuck out a firm hand. "So, what do you say?"

The posh girl smiled a little, grasped her classmate's hand and shook it soundly. "Deal."

_**~2003~** _

It had been a week since Rhonda's party. Summer was ending, school was starting soon and she spent these last days of freedom sleeping in and doing nothing. Nothing meaning, eating pork rinds and watching marathons of Buffy.

The blonde groggily opened one blue eye, her nose catching whiff of the sweet buttery scent of blueberry waffles. Her arm reached to her nightstand, fumbling around for the alarm clock. She tried squinting her eyes to see the time but eventually put on her large glasses and sighed. It was nearly eleven am. Smelled like Olga was making a hearty breakfast though.

She pushed the covers aside and slowly got up, stretching and yawning, the afternoon sun gleaming across her cream colored naked body.

Helga scratched her chest as she stumbled out of her room and made her way to the stairs. She would walk around the house naked frequently. Of course Olga didn't always approve, but Helga G Pataki wasn't a prude like her sister. Besides, she had nothing planned today, why would she put on clothes?

Walking down the stairs she hummed a little tune, excited to eat the appetizing breakfast and finally rounded to the kitchen entrance. Her blue eyes immediately widened and her heart leapt inside her chest, rattling her rib cage.

A figure with a pair of light hazel eyes was hanging out at the kitchen island and instinctively turned her head to greet the blonde. Her eyes widened too, but she ended up with a slight coy smile upon her pierced lips. "Good afternoon."

Helga's pasty face flushed red promptly as Olga turned around from what she was cooking at the stove, her reaction was award and cantankerous. "Oh my gosh, baby sister! Manners!"

Without thinking or saying anything, the lanky teenager quickly turned around and raced back up the stairs, rushing to her room and hastily closing the door behind her. Her breaths were now rampant and short. She mumbled frantically to herself, " _What the hell is Phoebe doing here!?"_ Then went to her closet to toss on a large pink shirt and a pair of blue jeans.

Several minutes later, she slowly walked down the stairs and back to the kitchen, the two were still in the same spots as they were before; a stack of blueberry waffles on a plate in the middle of the island. Attempting to keep her cool, she mentioned carelessly. "So, that naked thing before...pretty funny joke right?"

Olga's composure was still grouchy and a bit embarrassed. "Goodness Helga, sometimes you act just like a barbarian!" She exclaimed, placing more waffles onto the plate from her large spatula.

"The term is barbariette, okay, Olga?" she retorted.

Phoebe intervened politely. "It's okay, I honestly do the same thing around my house when I expect I'm home alone. I am the one with the bad manners this morning. I should've called before coming over."

Olga waved her hand nonchalantly. "Oh, Phoebe, you are always welcome in this house, and thank you so much for helping me cook." She irately snapped her gaze over to her sibling. "Really, Helga? Sleeping in till eleven?"

Helga shrugged and picked up one of the warm waffles, taking a bite. She leaned onto the island. "It's summer. And I set the VHS to record at eight am so, I don't need to wake up early for Saturday morning cartoons anymore."

The eldest sister just huffed and rolled her eyes as she started to clean up her cooking area around the stove.

Phoebe calmly meddled into the conversation again, this time directed at Helga. "I'm sorry, to intrude like this and not inform you."

The taller girl blushed faintly as she took another bite. "No, it's ya know...it's cool."

She leaned onto the island counter next to the blonde, her facial piercings glistening under the fluorescent lights. "It's rather silly actually, but when I told my mother I saw you at Rhonda's party, she insisted I bring over one of her exquisite homemade apple pies. Olga thought it would be best placed in the fridge for now."

"Isn't it usually the neighbors that bring _you_ the housewarming gifts?"

"Oh, well, Mr. Green actually brought over an admirable basket of kielbasa the other day. It was so sweet of him, and Arnold's Grandmother delivered a pot of herring stew yesterday, however, I'm not entirely sure we will dine much on the traditional Shortman delicacy."

Helga smirked as she finished off the waffle and brushed her palms together to rid of any loose crumbs. "Not if you like your asshole, am I right?"

"Helga!" Olga chided as she paused her clean up.

"Have a drink, Olga. It's a joke." Helga then looked back at her shorter companion. She nodded briefly. "You want to grab this brunch to go?"

Phoebe grinned and slyly raised her brow. "What did you have in mind?"

"Spit in the river? Maybe later, throw rocks at a dumpster fire?"

She chuckled and grabbed her purse off of the counter, throwing the strap over her shoulder. "Sounds splendid."

_**XOXOX** _

The day was pleasant, much like when she was at the beach last week. Mild sun rays and balmy summer breezes; they decided to take a stroll around City Park, eventually sitting down on one of the benches near a rather familiar tree she used to etch certain letters into.

Phoebe contentedly closed her eyes, feeling the light wind and breathing in deeply. "Wow, several sentimental memoirs here in this park. It's as if the town hasn't changed a bit since I left."

Helga scoffed as she lifted her legs up onto the bench, criss cross style. "You can thank Mayor Dixie for that and her hefty agenda of conservative values."

"Easier to pick up where we left off." She smiled as she pulled out a ziploc bag from her purse, holding the waffles they brought with them. "By the way, if you wouldn't mind telling Rhonda, I apologize I had to leave early the other night."

The blonde waved her hand nonchalantly. "Oh that's okay, she had her uh... hands full. Her parties can get...pretty heated..." Redness crept toward the surface of her pale cheeks.

They both took a waffle and munched as they absentmindedly people watched, but conversed at the same time. "Intriguing how you two became friends. I would have never thought of that a couple years ago."

"Oh, well, we have a...special kind of friendship, that not most people have. She's actually a pretty decent person deep down."

"Sounds like an individual I used to know." She turned to grin amiably at her companion.

Helga returned the favor, observing that Phoebe's attire was much like it was last week. Another band tee, torn jeans, and the same violet ribbon wrapped snuggly around her forearms. She however had purple hues and sparkle woven into the dark makeup around her eyes today.

"May I ask you something?" The shorter girl questioned, breaking Helga's inquiring thought process.

"Um...yeah, sure."

"Why didn't you return my calls before I left? Or respond to any of my letters?"

The blonde reacted by slowly munching on the side of her waffle as guilt now bombarded her composure. Through her awkward thoughts, she managed a clarifying notion. "It's...it's hard to explain. I don't like goodbyes. If I would have responded it would have been final."

"It _was final_ , whether you accepted it or not."

Helga gave a saddened chuckle and looked off into the distance of the park. People enjoying the day with their families. Dogs catching frisbees and running after balls. A young couple savoring a romantic picnic. "You know me. Stubborn. Caught up in my own reality."

Phoebe placed a reassuring hand upon the blonde's shoulder. "I should have been there for you when your parents were incarcerated. I'm sorry I couldn't be."

The taller girl gazed back at her childhood friend. "It just wasn't a good time for either of us." She nodded and then gestured to Phoebe's clothes. "So what's with this whole getup? Last time I saw you you were very much-

"Rudimentary?" She teased.

"I was going to say reserved."

"It's quite a long tale."

Helga comically peered around the park and nearby buildings. "I think we have time since obviously this park and city isn't advancing towards a progressive future anytime soon."

The shorter girl raised an apprehensive brow.

"Phoebe, Arnold's Grandmother is still alive. That woman sends me Christmas cards in April. Humor me."

The dark haired girl sighed but explained. "Well, around four years ago, when I was twelve, my mother had picked me up from school. It was an incredibly ordinary day and, on the way home we were hit dead on by a semi-truck running a red light.

"He hit the right side of our vehicle, which crushed a large portion of my body. The metal twisted around me, the glass pierced right through my frail and feeble flesh. I fell into a coma for a couple days and then resided in the hospital for several months. I've had years of extensive physical therapy. However, I am eternally grateful my mother sustained minor injuries."

The blonde's eyes widened and she placed her hand quickly onto the girl's wrapped forearm. "Jesus Christ Almighty, Phoebe. I am so sorry."

"Life happens. Once I was able to walk on my own and eat without anyone's assistance, I just thought, fuck it. I could die tomorrow and there's so many things I haven't pursued that I've always wanted to because of silly notions like fear and failure. While I still believe my academic career is important, I've also found other ambitions that give me an appetite for living. Music and...painting. I guess it could explain the alteration in my former wardrobe. I also had corrective eye surgery earlier this year." She said as she gazed at their surroundings, her mended vision happily adjusting to all the details. "Oh, the ennui of farm life. Calloused, labored hands, and the equanimity under temperamental and merciless weather. The country can be cruel."

"Sounds like it kind of hardened you."

Phoebe turned to her companion, her eyes scoping out the details of her friend's cream colored face. Light freckles across the bridge of her nose, loose blonde strands dancing in the breeze, rosiness just waiting to surface from under those delicate cheeks. She grinned benevolently. "It's different. The city is a whole new kind of storm. It's a societal hurricane."

Helga became silent; lost in thought.

The shorter girl sighed unpleasantly. "See, I told you it was long. Now I've upset you."

The blonde calmly shook her head. "No, no, it's not that. I've just missed you. I wish I could have done something. Responded to a letter. Responded to a call." Her facial features fell disappointedly.

"I told you. It's life. It's over. No need to guilt yourself any longer. Besides, on a change of subject; I do have an interesting question for you. Arnold? Is that circumstance on good terms?"

Helga's face changed from sadness to disgust almost immediately. Her voice filled with disdain. "Gross, don't even say his name."

Phoebe covered her mouth to suppress a surprised giggle at Helga's apathetic response. "I'm taking that as a _no_."

The taller teen attempted to explain. "After the whole thing with my parents, I went to Bliss appointments on a weekly basis. I was living and breathing Bliss' therapeutic proverbs. Bleaching any footballheaded resemblance out of my restless mind." She shrugged. "I guess it helped some. But he is incessant. He's a cockroach in the dark recesses of my skull. I don't think even a nuke could erase him completely. He'd somehow still manage a way to survive."

_**XOXOX** _

They spent the afternoon and evening around the park, city wharf and arcade. Reminiscing about the good and the bad of long ago. Updating each other on family issues and classmate whereabouts. It was starting to get dark when they reached the Heyerdahl residence. Surprisingly enough, the Heyerdahl family was able to purchase their old house back from the owners that they had sold it to seven years ago.

Helga passively studied the outside of the purple colored home, noticing that every crack and brick was not out of place. It looked exactly the same.

Phoebe amicably interrupted her thoughts. "Would you like to come in? I would love to have you for dinner."

The blonde blushed for a brief moment and rubbed her forearm anxiously. "Um...family dinners, family things, kind of a uncomfortable thing for me."

"Oh dear, you wouldn't have to worry about that. My parents traveled to Kentucky for the weekend; retrieving some furniture we had left behind. I am responsible for the home." The shorter girl responded reassuringly.

Helga grinned slightly to herself. Parents gone for the weekend definitely made the situation much more appealing in her mind. She attempted a curious yet cool demeanor. "What's on the menu?"

"Just some udon in a tsuyu broth and green onions. Nothing too fancy."

The taller girl concealed her enthusiasm by shrugging nonchalantly. "Yeah, sure, okay."

"Wonderful." She charmed, and unlocked the door. They walked into the condo and Phoebe flipped on the lights, illuminating the comfortable space. "Please, make yourself at home. I just request that-"

Before the girl could finish her sentence, Helga raised a finger. "Oh, take off my shoes. On it." And proceeded to wobbly stand, removing each pink sneaker.

The hostess graciously smiled. "Thank you." Her hazel eyes then widened, "Oh my gosh, I just thought of something I think you would really appreciate. I'll be only a moment." She exclaimed and before Helga could respond, she rushed her little legs up the stairs and out of sight.

The blonde casually placed her hands into her pockets and mosied about the first floor of the familiar condo. There were opened and closed boxes lying about the living room and what appeared to be Kyo's study. Placed amongst the home from what she could see, was new decor along with old. Wall scrolls adorned the living room and parts of the kitchen. Vases with Japanese lore were scattered for temporary decoration, and a couple of samurai swords were shelved amongst the wall in Mr. Heyerdahl's office. She even found a mini zen garden as a centerpiece on their chadubai near the kitchen.

Helga smiled to herself as she sat down on one of the zabuton's placed around the table and picked up the tiny rake from the garden. She made random designs in the white sand and swiveled around the polished stones for several minutes until a sweet voice interrupted her playful distraction.

"Like what we've done with the place?"

The blonde glanced up and gently placed the rake into the sand. She laughed slightly, "It's very _feng shui_." Her face then flushed a hue of scarlet when she noticed Phoebe had changed her attire.

The hostess now wore a silk blue kimono top along with a pair of loose grey shorts. Her shoulder length black hair tied up into a Japanese styled bun, and her dark makeup had been wiped off. "I hope you don't mind that I slipped into some pajamas." She said as she sat down on a cushion opposite from the blonde at the table.

Helga nervously scoffed. "Pffft, no, I mean you saw me-" Her cheeks blossomed even redder as she remembered their encounter this morning and her voice cracked. "..in m-my pajamas…" _Smooth, Helga, really smooth you dolt!_

Her pierced lips just lifted coyly at the remembrance.

The frazzled guest cleared her throat awkwardly and swiftly shifted the conversation, pointing to the object that Phoebe carried with her from upstairs. "Um, so, is that the something you were talking about?"

Phoebe blinked for a moment, jumbling her thoughts back to the present. "Oh, of course." In her left hand she held a large jug with a cork at the spout and placed it upon the table. The liquid inside it was clear. "Like I mentioned, I think you're going to appreciate this." She pulled out a pair of small glass cups from underneath the table and placed one in front of Helga.

The shorter girl yanked the cork from the spout, and with both hands, poured around an ounce into her guest's cup.

The blonde, trying to regain her cool from her prior embarrassment, picked up the cup confidently and went to take a drink but was immediately pummeled in the face with the strong smell of alcohol. She almost gagged. "Oh my god, Pheebs. What is this?"

Phoebe giggled to herself at her companion's reaction as she served a portion of the liquid into her own glass cup. "It's moonshine. Grandpappy's recipe. He endowed the family recipe to me before he passed."

"You made this?"

"I did. The time isn't too extensive to distill and filter. However, I apologize, the recipe also calls for an assortment of berries and cherries which I do not have at the moment. Unpacking has consummated most of my time." She set down the large jug and ran the cup under her nose, savoring the pungent scent. "If it's too strong, you don't have to drink it."

"What? Oh, no, I was just, you know, preparing." The blonde drew in a bolstering breath and brought the cup to her lips. Closing her eyes tightly she bent her head back and consumed the shot of alcohol. "Whoo!" Her blue eyes started watering. "Wasn't that bad." She coughed unpleasantly.

The black haired girl smiled affirmatively. "I suppose I better catch up. Kanpai!" And drank her shot, then gently placed the glass cup onto the table. Her facial features winced for a moment. "Phew. would you like another?'

Helga clenched her fingers firmly around her cup as the liquid and sensation burned its way down her esophagus. She relished the distressing yet cozy feeling. "Only if you're drinking with me."

Phoebe chuckled lightheartedly as she poured an ounce again into her cup and then into her guest's. "Of, course."

The blonde prepared to take another deep breath and muster the plunge into intoxication, but before she could, the hostess admirably held up her glass. "To old friendships."

Helga smiled and held up her glass as well, intending to toast to her companion; the warmth now burrowing into the pit of her stomach, causing a chain reaction. Her immediate attention shifting to the minute details of the young woman before her. Her skin started to pulsate; her eyes dilated, her perception absorbed every blemish, every freckle, every forgotten lash.

Every flaw in her pale face was lovely. The scars graced the right side of her temple and faded softly into the left cheek. She was still the same girl, a benevolent heart now within a battered exterior. Underneath all the piercings and makeup, her eyes glistened with hope and her voice rang sanguine.

And out of nowhere, the blonde felt that spark again in the damp kindling deep within the darkness of her heart. A flicker amongst the obscurity. She clinked her glass lightly with Phoebe's. "To mending where we left off."


	3. Eleanor

_**~2003~** _

A sharp pain radiated through her neurotic river; her clammy palm fell onto her forehead, a subtle groan escaping her lips. The alcohol leaving its heavy presence from last night, she slowly sat up on what seemed to be the couch.

_I feel like I got hit by a truck..._

Her long golden hair draped messily over her shoulders as she groggily yawned. Squinting, she fumbled for her glasses which she eventually found on the floor next to the couch. She adjusted them onto the bridge of her nose and browsed around. By the light through the windows, she would've guessed it was morning or early afternoon. Her skull throbbed and her blue eyes winced, after ten pm last night she didn't really remember much.

She recalled turning on Phoebe's stereo and they danced to old Ronnie Matthews singles. She remembered jumping up and down on the Heyerdahl couch in the living room. She remembered eating the slimy yet delicious udon. But not much else after that. Reflecting on her current disposition, they must have eventually fallen asleep on the couch.

Helga then observed her sleepy companion, who was curled into a little ball on the other arm of the couch. A gentle blanket draped over her torso and legs.

Piercings and blue highlights glistened along with the relaxed light entering the home, The blonde stared at her for a while, a small smile finding its way upon her mouth. The subtle twitches in Phoebe's sleep, the heavy breaths leaving her nostrils. A thought mingled it's way into her thoughts, _Goddamn, she's fucking cute._

Her sapphire eyes widened. _Did I just think that? I mean...I must have...it's my head after all...where else would it come from...Criminy, what is wrong with me!?_

The distressed girl quietly ascended from the couch and tiptoed into the kitchen. She placed her hands firmly against the sink counter. _I should go...I should…_ A cloud of doubt overwhelmed her as she then performed a breathing technique Dr. Bliss taught her years ago.

_You're fixed remember? No more Arnold feelings...no more...any feelings…_ There was a small sensation of buoyancy in her heavy soul. Her rock solid heart. She inhaled deeply through her nostrils. _Don't run away...don't._

Her rather pale facial features lifted up as another thought filled her conscious. _That's it, breakfast! I could make flapjacks! Eggs! Bacon! Everyone loves breakfast!_ She turned to the cupboards below the sink, nothing but cleaning supplies. Then curiously opened the cupboards above the stove and fumbled for ingredients.

_Just need some cinnamon, chocolate chips and-_ She smacked the back of her hand against something firm while she awkwardly searched, looking up to notice a large paper sack falling over on it's side and after that, white.

**POOF!**

_Flour._

She coughed a cloud of bleached dust. The frames of her glasses now caked in the ivory powder. _Oh no, oh no, shit shit shit shit!_ She covered her mouth to suppress another cough and ran to the edge of the kitchen, peering into the living room.

Phoebe was still sleeping soundly. Thank, Venus. But now she had to tackle the situation that laid before her. _**FUCK!**_ Her lips mouthed the word silently as her heart sank and the pasty particles now floated softly in the light that shone through the kitchen window. Flour covered the stove and the ground surrounding it.

She bit her thumbnail for a moment as she processed and then turned her attention to the wall phone that resided in the kitchen. The girl quickly picked up the receiver and dialed the number at world record speed.

_Please pick up...please pick up._..

The other line answered and she spoke lowly, attempting to not wake her sleeping host. " _Hey... I need a favor."_

_**XOXOX** _

Helga stood out on the Heyerdahl stoop without any shoes on; trying to look inconspicuous yet tapping her foot repetitively. She had somehow shook her body enough to get most of the flour to fall off onto the kitchen floor, where she broomed and wiped up the remaining piles of ingredient.

Her arms crossed irritably, she didn't have a watch but it felt like forever when a yellow cab turned down the street and up to the curb.

She clumsily ran to the back door and opened it. A chipper older woman awaiting in the back seat with a paper bag of groceries. "Good morning, Eleanor! How is Ms. Earhart doing this forenoon?"

Helga held out a hand as Gertie took it and she helped Arnold's Grandmother out of the vehicle. "She's still sleeping. You are a godsend, woman." She exclaimed as she took the heavy sack of flour and other groceries out of the lady's hands and reached into her shirt, behind her bra, finding a wad of bills and pulling them out, handing them over to her savior.

Gertie widely grinned as she then stuffed the money into her blouse. "Anything for Mrs. Roosevelt!"

Helga started heading up the stairs of the stoop, and called back. " I owe you one!"

The older woman got back into the cab, her head poked out the window. "Shall we have tea at the Vermeil Room next Wednesday?"

The blonde reached the door when she called back again. "Yes, yes, yes, thank you!"

"Oh, and Eleanor?"

Helga paused, huffed, and turned around rather impatiently, her hand on the knob. "Yes?"

Gertie winked and brought her arm out the window of the cab, her pointer finger shooting towards the sky. "Never forget; A first lady must have the utmost faith in herself!"

_**XOXOX** _

Dreams dissipated as the smell of bacon interrupted her snoozing senses. Phoebe's eyes slowly opened as she realized she was in a fetal position on the couch. She immediately looked at the other side of the sofa. No Helga.

She faintly groaned as she rose her torso, elbows digging into the foam. Her entire body felt stiff as it usually did when she woke up. Pain fiercely radiated from her neck and her lower back. She had a bed for this. A special bed. That could cut the pain in half while she slept; as she woke up. A bed that could relax her blemished spine.

The couch was not so gracious.

The quiet girl closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, cringing as she shifted her legs to the edge; the limbs falling off and she wiggled her toes once they fell to carpet. She hazily gazed down at her sock covered feet, noticing that two glasses resided next to each other by the couch. One was still half full.

Tears glistened over her light hazel eyes as a sharp cramp shot through her back while she reached her arm down to grab the cup.

Sitting up was the hardest part of all. The agony grew much stronger and the droplets ran much thicker as she clenched her core, pushing her torso back up. Her spine finally resting into the back of the couch, made the tears flow. She cried silently as she drank what was left in the glass. Her quads, contracting as she pressed her body upwards. She took in another deep breath and wiped the water stains from her cheeks. She was just happy crying and looking tired were too difficult to differentiate.

The shorter girl casually made her way towards the smell and the kitchen. Eventually smiling as she viewed her guest frantically moving around the hot stove. "Something smells amazing."

_**XOXOX** _

A voice chimed as Helga turned her neck to see piercings shimmering yet again and Phoebe standing there in the kitchen doorway. She walked over to the blonde, peeking around her tall torso to get a closer look at what was sizzling on the burner. A small tower of cinnamon and chocolate pancakes resided on a plate next to the stove.

Helga's light blonde neck hair stood on end at the proximity of the dark haired girl behind her. She blushed mildly. "I hope it was okay that I used some of your food."

"Perfectly okay, I'm actually heading to the market later today to stock up before mother and father get home tonight. You didn't have to go through the trouble." She mentioned as she inched a little bit closer to get whiff of all the spices and ingredients.

The lanky teenager's cheeks grew even pinker. "Trouble? No trouble." She coughed awkwardly and cleared her throat, managing a pleasant smile. "No trouble at all."

Phoebe then noticed a cloudy masterpiece of white flour on Helga's pink t-shirt. She covered her mouth and giggled. "Looks like you wrestled with a bag of flour."

She looked down to see what her hostess was viewing. _Oh shit..._

The shorter girl gestured with her hand to the stairs of the condo. "Why don't you pick out a nice garment from my closet? I can wash your clothes and return them to you later this week."

A tickle blossomed in Helga's chest as the tips of Phoebe's fingers gently glided over her own. Miss Heyerdahl calmly took hold of the skillet. "I'll take over for the eggs and bacon." She spoke politely.

The taller girl blinked as her dorky appearance reflected in the glaze of light hazel eyes. "Heh." She nervously pulled her hand away and stumbled towards the kitchen entrance and up the stairs.

_Pheebs, please don't look inside your trash can anytime soon..._

She managed to find her way to Phoebe's room easily, as it was the same room before the Heyerdahls had sold their home. She walked over to the closet, fingering through the hung apparel; attempting to find anything that might remotely fit her when she spotted a light blue sweater. She chuckled as she pulled it from the hanger, tossing her dirty shirt aside and throwing the sweater over her head. It was snug and lifted a couple millimeters above her belly button, but she had a silly idea. She rummaged through the nearby drawers and found a pair of yellow shorts. Her prior shorts came off and these went up her lanky legs, also snugging around her hips.

Helga then went to the tall mirror in Phoebe's room and posed in a flirtatious yet comical gesture. She found this amusing. "Heh heh, fourth grade Pheebs."

A thought then entered her head.

_No, No, that'd be too weird._

Another thought retaliated.

_C'mon, she's downstairs. No one is looking. What's the harm in it, huh? What's the harm?_

The tall girl then peeked around the door and down the stairs, making sure Phoebe was still content in the kitchen. She then hesitantly debated with the racing thoughts in her head, finally grabbing the collar of the sweater and bring it to her nose. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, inhaling the scent that her friend left off on the worn garment.

"Oh…" She mumbled to herself as she opened her eyes. A flutter trailed down her abdomen. "By Aphrodite's celestial beauty, _**criminy**_ , _that smells good._ " This realization, excited her yet scared her at the same time.

"Everything all right up there?" A voice called from downstairs.

She choked and blushed, adjusting the tight clothes on her lanky form. "Um, yeah! One moment! Be right there!"

Helga playfully trotted down the stairs and into the kitchen while Phoebe was setting plates onto the chadubai. Her eyes widened as she glanced over at the blonde and she snickered. "Wow, out of all the articles of clothing I own, you pick that out!"

She grinned rather large and jokingly twirled in the garments. "Do I look good?" Her long blonde locks dancing in the light as she spun.

Phoebe casually sat down at the table on one of the zabutons. "You look like a dweeb." She said bluntly with a smile. She then gestured to the seat opposite of her. "Join me."

The lanky teen plopped down at the table and with the fork that Phoebe provided she started to chow down. Not realizing how hungry she had been until just now. Probably was the half hour of cleaning that really worked her appetite.

"How did you sleep?" The hostess asked as she precisely cut her pancakes and eggs.

Helga nodded agreeably as food bounced around in her mouth. "That was actually one of the nicer couches I've crashed on." She forked another piece and placed it into her mouth.

Phoebe's piercings lustered as she grinned contently. "Good."

"What about you?"

The shorter girl had brought her fork up to her mouth when she was asked the question. She apprehensively answered. "The alcohol aids the...discomfort." She ended uneasily and took the bite of food.

The blonde's attention was then focused in on the faint scars that graced her friend's face and neck. The violet ribbon was no longer on her arms, revealing jagged lines from what the accident left. Subtle rivers of past wounds. After a while of hanging out she forgot about them, but then the reality settled in again. "So is the...pain, erm...I mean...discomfort...do you feel it often?"

Phoebe nodded almost bashfully, the alcohol now making its way to the stiffness in her lower back. Creeping into the rigidity of her nape. "I do. Rarely do I partake medication, occasionally I smoke, frequently I drink. The drinking helps me slumber through it a majority of the time."

Hearing all of that, Helga realized she wasn't so hungry anymore as she stared down at her plate of food. "Well, alcohol doesn't fix problems, but...neither does milk."

The shorter girl looked at her food as well, letting out an amused breath and then shook her head. "I understand it's quite an uncomfortable subject, I apologize. Please, condone what I said-"

"Stop doing that, Pheebs." The blonde retorted sharply, cutting off her companion. "Stop apologizing for things that were out of your control. I'm just…" She sighed despairingly. "I feel this petrifying pulsation that tremors through my shallow lungs at the very notion of my absence when you... _needed me to be there for you._ " Her sapphire eyes then widened as she grasped what just came out of her mouth. _Oh god...what did I just say…_

Phoebe's posture relaxed as the words settled into her mind and Helga then laughed gawkily.

"I mean...um...I…." She tried to recover as panic burrowed its way into her esophagus. "I'm..I'm sorry, I just remembered I have an um….a thing...a thing I have to go to. Right now." She abruptly stood up with her plate and shuffled hastily into the kitchen.

Not knowing whether the warmth flooding through her body was the alcohol or Helga's confession, Phoebe stood up rather easily as well as she watched the girl place the plate by the sink. "Oh. Would you like me to wrap some of this to-go for you?"

Helga shook her head and started to walk briskly towards the entrance as she talked frantically. "No, oh no, I'm stuffed, really. It was so good though."

The hostess followed her shortly behind. "Let me escort you to the door then."

"Oh it's fine, I know my way." She picked up her shoes left by the entrance and quickly yanked them onto each foot; the door knob, a mere yard away.

"I insist."

But before the blonde could turn towards her escape or even say anything else, she felt a delicate grip upon her forearm, stopping her in her tracks. She turned back to see Phoebe's hand slip something into her own. It felt crinkly. "Our new house number. For when you're available."

Miss Heyerdahl then came in closer. Helga's long golden locks messily framing her timid facial features. Thick frames magnifying her panicked cobalt eyes. The shorter girl could faintly feel her friend's shallow breaths upon the tip of her nose. That's when her hazel eyes spectated the lips. Flushed and translucent, malleable and fragile. She inched even closer and the breathing became heavier upon her sensitive cheeks. Phoebe reached her arm behind Helga.

A turn and a _**Click!**_

A creaking noise came from behind both of them, light entering the home around their silhouettes; the door opened and as Helga continued to stare at her shorter companion, she gulped and fumbled a couple steps back, stepping out into the city atmosphere. The summer breeze touching her into a little bit of reality.

Phoebe held the eye contact and smiled as she reached for the door again, this time to close it. Affection filled her heavy voice. Her fragile body starting to grip with the relentless pain again. "Have a wonderful day."

_**XOXOX** _

She gazed out of the bus window as it drove into the upper city; children's fingerprints smudged in various parts of the glass. She could barely see her reflection, it was crystal clear in those light hazel eyes. Burning their way into her marshmallowed core. Her fingers white from clenching together, fidgeting in her lap. Her heart raced, she took in a breath to clear her head. "I thought I was better, ya know. Over this, running away from my emotions thing."

Grubby sat next to her and peeked a tired eye open then snuggled deeper into the dirty comforter wrapped around him. Attempting to block out the bus chatter and especially Helga.

Helga continued to think out loud. It was difficult not having a person to consistently vent to like Bliss. She didn't realize all these feelings had pent up and were ready to burst from deep within. "I thought ya know, therapy might have fixed...most of me…" She sighed. "Maybe I like..like her? I mean...couldn't be, we haven't seen or talked in several years. People change. People...become different, ya know? Am I crazy for..these...feelings? Have I changed at all?"

The homeless man rolled his eyes and pulled his blanket over his head.

"I mean, she was always mature, but now she seems so...more…so...ravishing in her subtle elegance and brilliant demeanor-" She cut herself off and gritted her teeth. "Gah! What is wrong with me!?"

"You sound like a _faggot_ to me kid." He finally spoke up in his grungy and gritty voice, face still hidden under the comforter.

The blonde's features fell unamused as she glared over at him. "Oh right, like you've never sucked dick for some blow."

His head finally poked out from the filthy cloak; his dirt caked face snarling. "That's different, that's business! And you should really smile once in awhile, make ya less ugly!"

The girl eyes widened with a sudden rage and she instinctively grabbed his comforter, yanking it out from under him with all her strength.

The homeless man tumbled off the bus seat and onto the floor. "Hey!" He croaked and quickly grabbed a corner of the fabric as Helga stood up to get more leverage. "Stop it! That's my bed!" He exclaimed as he pulled back.

People started to stare as a young girl and an old hobo played tug of war on a bus with a soiled blanket. Bystanders moved out of the way as Helga forcefully jerked the cloth from out of his greasy fingers and bundled it under her arms. "Call me ugly again you rancid pig!" She yelled as she then turned around and pushed spectators out of the way.

He attempted to follow her but it seemed as if he was tired from the encounter. "Give me back my bed!" He shouted breathlessly and hunched over to pant.

The bus slowly stopped with a loud screech coming from the brakes and Helga made her way to the opening doors, hoping out of the vehicle and sprinting down the sidewalk.

Grubby opened the bus window and weakly yelled after her. "Ugly dyke!"

_**XOXOX** _

The doorman wasn't too pleased when she gave him Grubby's bed to go burn in a back alley.

She roughly knocked on the door of the Lloyd penthouse. Hoping that the princess had some sort of extra strong weed to take care of this mental suffering.

Criminy, why did she think like that? Isn't this what Bliss told her exactly not to do? Not run to quick fixes, not become dependant on short term medicating? What else was she supposed to do? Curl up on her bed at home, stare at the wall and obsess about each and every little detail that crept its way into her mind? No, that wouldn't be healthy either. So if she was being honest, unless Bliss started treating her again, this was the best she could do for now.

The door opened and an immense scent of the stimulating flower hit her in the face. It was amazing. Rhonda grandly stood there in the doorway, right hand on the frame of the entrance, cigarette in her left hand. An inquiring smile found its way upon her delectable mouth.

"Hey." The blonde said shortly as she brushed past her companion and entered the lavish living room.

"Hey." The dark haired beauty was still garnished in a silky red night gown, even though it was around noon. Her jet black hair rested upon the tips of her collarbone. She then caught whiff of a vulgar aroma and covered her mouth, "Oh my god, what is that smell? And what the hell are you wearing?" She asked, browsing Helga's childish attire.

"I don't really want to talk about it." Helga responded as she browsed around the space, finally spotting a bottle of wine on the coffee table in front of the extravagant Lloyd sofa. She would have to find the weed later, right now she just needed to start the healing process.

The guest plopped down on the comfortable cushion and grabbed the neck of the large bottle, when Rhonda interrupted her action.

The hostess sighed as she took a drag of her cigarette and made her way to where Helga was sitting. "Did you get my voicemails?" She asked rather annoyed, not that she minded Helga helping herself to whatever that was in her home, but she required a specific amount of attention too!

"I wasn't home."

"Wasn't home?"

The blonde was about the pull the cork from the spout when she hesitated and took in a deep breath. "I slept over at Phoebe's."

The dark haired teenager chortled mischievously as she sat closely to her guest on the sofa. She rested her slender arm behind the girl. "Wow, you don't waste any time."

"It wasn't like that!" She retorted defensively.

Rhonda took another drag of the cigarette. "What was it like then, hmm?" She asked curiously, her interest now at one hundred percent.

Helga exhaled again, the bottle of wine still residing in her hands. "Only the fact that I'm a huge jerk and she's…" _Don't be poetic, don't be poetic_. "..pretty cool."

The hostess snickered and winked. "You are a jerk."

Beads of sweat started to glaze her forehead. She couldn't hold it in, it was like word vomit. "Once a girl with apprehensive tendencies, Her now battered exterior mirrors another image, an inviting and intimately insightful interior- _ **GODDAMN IT**_!" She slammed her fist against the posh table. "Doth I have no control!?" She gushed.

"Inviting, hmm?" The dark haired girl took in another drag and blew the grey smoke around Helga's thin form. "I told you she filled out nicely."

The blonde set the bottle back onto the table and turned her torso to face her companion. Her voice was rather critical and dire. "I need to talk to you about something."

"Okay?"

"Are we like….you know…"

"What?"

She massaged the tips of her fingers into her eyelids before huffing and responding rather uncomfortably. "...gay? Together...gay?"

The posh girl snorted in response to the question, managing an oblivious sounding answer. "I thought your hair had to be a buzzed to be considered a lesbian. That and wear a lot of denim." She said as she dabbed out her cigarette into the ashtray on the table, pulling another stick from a box nearby and lighting it.

Helga rolled her eyes. Rhonda couldn't be that naive. "Well you know, that and have girl on girl sex."

"What? All the women in those pornos went right from the guy, then to the girl, then back to the guy, then they all got freaky togethah'. How is that lesbian?" She disputed rather confidently.

The blonde pressed her hands together firmly and brought them to her mouth. Pondering how to explain how porn seemed to work and how real life seemed to work with her confused friend. "You realize that, there's something different from our scenario and the porno scenario, right? Something missing?"

The elegant hostess hesitated for a moment and finally raised a well manicured brow. "...Should we invite a guy in?"

Helga just rubbed perspired temples as she heard the question. "What? No, that's not what I meant. I've never….I mean...I'm not….having sex with guys right now. Are you?"

Rhonda took in a deeper drag and then crossed her arms blankly. "No, because they always expect _**ME**_ to provide the protection! Besides…" She looked away for a moment, and the smoke faintly left her nostrils. "I'm…..worried about transferring something to you…" She definitely wasn't going to admit to Helga that she might've actually cared about hurting the blonde's feelings too. She nibbled on her bottom lip and was apprehensive before asking. "Do _you_ think we're gay?" She might've seemed nonchalant and uncaring about her classmates opinions about her, but a part of her genuinely did worry about what Helga thought.

"I don't know. I've been feeling weird lately, And now I'm questioning what the fuck we've been doing for the past several years. I thought doing it with a girl was just being super safe." At least that's what she constantly told herself before she fell asleep each night.

Rhonda exaggeratingly threw her arms in the air in agreement; finding an out to Helga's sudden misgivings of their relationship. "Yes! That's what I thought! Guys hang out and jerk off in front of each other! Is that gay?"

Helga's pale face fell into her hands as her mind was pulled and prodded with all the questions and confusion, and the penthouse fell quiet.

The hostess gazed out one of the large windows that adorned the big bountiful suite and inhaled the tobacco again. Her own notions dancing along to the smoke that billowed out of her lungs. She then turned to Helga and lifted the girl's face out from her cupped hands. "What are you feeling right now?" She asked calmly.

The blonde's voice was blunt. "Hysteria...doubt...terror…"

The dark haired girl scooted closer to her guest on the long sofa. Her composure became intimate. She delicately took a couple of golden locks and tucked them behind the her friend's ear. "Then let me accompany you. Is that so wrong? Is there something wrong with feeling good?"

Helga's stared at her doubtfully. "Where's this coming from?"

"I'm _really_ high right now."

She chuckled a little, her apprehension fading somewhat. "Shut up."

"That's my girl." Rhonda then delicately pulled the thick frames from her companion's ears, folding them and setting them aside. "Tell me what you want."

The blonde could currently make out her friend's face, but the background had become blurry and faded. She sighed with a heavy heart. "I want my mind to be clear and organized. I want to be fixed. I want the fear ridden restlessness to go away."

"I can help with one of those things…" She spoke seductively low and placed the filter of the burning cigarette between her guest's lips. "Hold this." With a firm push against her chest, Helga fell back into the support of the sofa, a tugging sensation against her hips as the dark haired teenager pulled down on the snug yellow shorts.

She then stared into the ceiling and inhaled the harsh tobacco, exhaling through her nostrils. The shorts fell to the ground. Her underwear dropped soon after. She took in another deep inhale of the burning leaf as her heart leapt in her chest, her thighs were pushed apart, and a mouth found its way to the fruitful warmth throbbing below her abdomen.

Her lungs hugged the smoke as time slowed down. Eventually the grey vapor gently drifted from her lips; the motions bewitching her every sensation.

Usually she didn't focus on anything in particular during sex. The gestures, the heat could satisfy her and her anxiety for a while. But did it turn her on? Did she dare to sink to those depths and uncover that truth?

Helga's dilated pupils glanced down for a moment as Rhonda licked her and gazed back up, her brown eyes becoming richer each second with lust and fervor. A quiver entered the blonde's chest at the encounter, but she immediately suppressed the impending ideas and images, tightly closing her blue eyes.

_It's just sex, it's just…_ The desires and emotions vigorously beat at the door of her heart. The hinges trembling, the knob shaking, the tender wood cracking with each blow. And she neglected them.

_**~1997~** _

The potent smell of cheese was in the air, and the two fifth graders had just hopped out of their worn bumper car, giggling at the fact that Rhonda Wellington Lloyd was furious she had been targeted to driving bumper car number four. The slowest and wonkiest bumper car of them all. Nadine rubbed her arm uncomfortably as Rhonda continued to complain loudly and Helga and Phoebe snickered as they managed to get away from the princess's wrath.

Once they were a good couple feet away Helga murmured to her shorter companion. "Criminy, did you see Rhonda and Nadine get slammed like fifty times?!"

Phoebe chuckled quietly again, her hands covering her mouth. "Goodness, I shouldn't be laughing but it was rather amusing."

Passing a cheese-ka-bob stand, Helga slapped a couple bills onto the counter, grabbed two of the grilled cheesy sticks and handed one to her classmate. "Aye, where to next, me hearty?

Phoebe just eyed Helga for a moment and then rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Aye, me Cap'n. Over yonder there be the the Built-to-Hurl. After that be the Cheeseball Toss, and then the fearsome Hall of Mirrors!..Arr?"

"We need to work on your pirate talk, Pheebs." The blonde mentioned as they headed towards the Built-to-Hurl, making their way past the Tunnel of Love. As they proceeded, something caught the attention of her cobalt colored eyes, a little blue hat and the shimmer of green ribbons.

The two classmates were smiling as they got into a rickety wooden swan wafting in the water, and her anger had breached from its quiet cavern. Her eye twitched for a second, but she didn't realize Phoebe had detected her change in body behavior. " _Wriggling little worm._ "

Phoebe's features became rather irate. She sighed. "Just forget about him."

Helga confusedly looked over at her for a moment before retracting her vision to the lovebirds floating into the tunnel. "What're you saying?"

"We were having a nice time. Lets just focus on that." Phoebe attempted to end politely as she continued to make her way the to the Built-to-Hurl.

Helga just looked down at her cheese stick, a couple half eaten blobs of yellow remained. Her mind now spinning into maniacal thought. "You think I can rig their swan before the tunnel ends?"

Without an answer, she directed her path towards the romantically themed ride, and then a hand grabbed her by the arm. She quickly looked back at a no longer happy Phoebe. "Why are you stopping me?"

"Because this is an absolute waste of our time."

"What're you talking about _waste_? Pheebs, have we just met? You know it's my god-given talent to make Arnold's life utterly miserable!"

Miss Heyerdahl let go and closed her eyes, her face scrunching in difficult thought. " _I am moving."_ She finally said. "My grandparents aren't improving in their health, and we are set to move at the end of the month."

Helga became silent, her gaze rearing back to the Tunnel of Love. All anger crawling back to the hole it came out of. A new creature venturing its way into her heart.

The shorter girl lightly tugged the blonde to a more secluded area of the festival; they stood by a Ring Toss stand that had closed down for the evening. "I need you to acknowledge this."

Helga crossed her arms and looked away from her long time friend. The sadness making it way into her conscious. " _You'll be back right?"_

"I don't know...but..you're my best friend, Helga Pataki. No matter how close our proximity, that still rings true. We can still call and write to one another."

Helga tightened her fists as she fought back tears that threatened to bulge from her eyes. " _I just don't know what to do…"_ Her tone had a hue of animosity in it. Not just because Phoebe would be gone, but she would still have to deal with the degrading things that she currently encountered each day. Just now, alone.

The shorter girl held out her fingers for a moment, just about to brush against the arm hair of her fellow classmate, but she lightly blushed and pulled away. "I feel much endearment and fondness for you. You are not by yourself. Please remember that. Seek support if need be." Her own glasses emphasizing the light hazel eyes, ready to spill over with her own feelings.

The blonde watched as Arnold and Lila got out of the wooden swan at the end of the ride, hand in hand, happiness and grins plastered over both their faces. " _I can't deal with this right now."_ She said almost inaudibly as she looked back at Phoebe, her heart sinking as she took a couple steps back.

"Why can't you just accept this and be honest with me?"

"Because…" She gritted her teeth together, and bunched her fists by her sides, her soul about ready to burst. "Because I love you! **Okay!?** You'll be gone and I'll have no one and nothing! My best friend will be gone! Phoebe...I…" Her rage then melted away, the tears started to roll down her cheeks. Her walls began to dissolve. " _I need you."_ She ended softly.

Phoebe came closer and touched the tips of her fingers on the girl's arm. "You don't need me, and you don't need Arnold."

The blonde let out a stifled sob. Her vision muddled from the droplets flooding her eyes. " _I- I can't…"_ She took another couple steps back and turned around, her body's momentum quickening as she ran away.

She ran past her other classmates, away from the Cheese Festival. Away from Arnold. Away from Phoebe. She kept running even though her legs hurt. She ran until the pain dissipated. She ran the blocks to her house, and even after she entered the Pataki condo, she continued to run until she got to her room and closed the door promptly behind her.

Her heart began to crumble around her and she watched as the pieces fell to the dark abyss that lingered below her punished soul. All she wanted to do was curl up in her bed and cry for a couple hours, maybe forever. She then glanced over at a picture of the two of them that resided on her desk, last year at Dinoland. They were both smiling. Well, she was smirking somewhat as Phoebe had the biggest and dorkiest grin on her face.

Helga's eyes then squinted as her vision became blurry, the picture becoming just a haze of blobs and colors. She blinked and shook her head when there was a ring of the door bell.

She paused. Her breath escaping her. Could it have been Phoebe? The girl then quietly opened her bedroom door and glimpsed down the hall, her eyesight going in and out as she closed the door soundlessly behind her and tiptoed. She peeked over the top of the stairs when she heard Miriam groan from the couch in the living room and the furniture creaked as she got up.

"I'm coming..I'm coming..." she slurred as she slowly shuffled her way to the front door.

_Pheebs…_

When the door opened both the Pataki women were confused as two forlorn looking police officers stood on the stoop.

"Mrs. Pataki?" One of them asked.

The woman tried to sober up rather hastily as she responded. "Um, yes, what can I do for you officers?"

One of the policemen sighed, his hat held between his two hands. "I am sorry to inform you ma'am, but your husband, Mr. Pataki …. he's dead."

_**~2003~** _

The blonde had walked home from the upper east side of town, which had taken a couple hours. She didn't care, she needed to think. As much as she didn't want to. She needed guidance. After an excessive amount of pleasure had coursed through their veins and her genitals were thoroughly too sensitive for any more fooling around, Rhonda and Helga had smoked each other out. Both their highs leading to a fridge raid and a marathon of Xena. Thank god Buckley and Brooke had been out for the day.

Helga winced slightly as her nether region still felt somewhat raw, and her high was fading as she reached the Pataki home. Realizing that maybe she needed advice other than Dr. Merlot and Nurse Mary Jane, she entered the home slowly and peered into the living room.

Olga was sitting on the couch in the living room where her TV resided. It was much smaller than Bob's old TV which was in Helga's bedroom. She was watching re-runs of The Nanny; a large bowl of popcorn placed in her lap.

The younger girl just scoffed as she entered the living room which no longer adorned Olga's old trophies. The older sister thought it was silly to keep them out and about to collect dust, so she put them in storage. She never cared much for showing them off like Bob did.

Helga sat down next to her sister on the couch. "How long have you been watching this?"

Olga looked sheepish but continued to eat her popcorn. "A couple hours." She mumbled.

"You know she ends up fucking Mr. Sheffield."

Her green eyes widened as they always did when Helga did or said something inappropriate. "Baby sister, I have seen the final season like three times! And please watch your language."

"Sorry. Banging." Helga chuckled to herself as she kicked her shoes off and lifted her legs onto the couch.

Olga didn't remove her eyes from the TV as she asked, "What did you get up to today? Were you still with Phoebe?"

The blonde blushed a little and scratched her arm absentmindedly. "Kind of. It got late last night and I just kind of passed out at her place."

"Well, it's so cute seeing you two together again. She is quite the charming young lady." She took a bite of popcorn.

Helga's face flushed into a deeper pink. "Yeah…" She inconspicuously glanced over at her older companion. "Hey Olga, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, baby sister."

They both stared at the TV, she didn't really want to make eye contact with Olga, not really something they did when talking about emotions. "So...I have a friend, and she's confused about some stuff. Emotional stuff, and I'm not quite sure how to respond to her."

"What kind of emotional stuff?"

"Well...um, she said she thinks she may have...feelings for a friend of hers...not just friend feelings but...maybe like...attraction...feelings…and this friend of hers is...also a girl."

Olga's face perked up and she turned to her younger sibling. The blonde averted her gaze. "Oh. Well, you can tell her these things are normal growing up. Sometimes we get feelings for our friends, but that doesn't mean it'll turn out to anything more. Most of the time it's just a silly phase and she'll grow out of it."

"Right...a phase…" The teenager murmured in response. The fragrant residue of Rhonda's body itching at the back of her throat. Phoebe's phone number crinkling in her pocket. A sour feeling twisting down into the pit of her stomach. If this was a phase, shouldn't she have felt happier? She would go back to being fixed, not feeling anything for anyone.

"Did that help, baby sister?"

Helga blinked a couple times out of her prior thoughts. "Yeah...um..yeah thanks, I'll let her know…" _God damnit. Where's Bliss when I need her?_


	4. Chipped

_**~2003~** _

She hadn't done much with that last week of summer. She actually looked forward to the new school year. And she never thought she'd say it, but she was also looking forward to the homework. It would take her mind off of her awkward….situation.

Helga gazed out the window of the white sedan as Olga pulled up to the curb. When she moved back to Hillwood, the older sister had traded in her convertible for something more practical for a vice principal and guardian.

The blonde grumbled to herself as she watched a crowd of students make their way up the wide staircase into Hillwood High School. She unlatched her seat belt with just a notebook and a pencil tucked under her arms as her supplies for the day.

"Are you going to be okay, baby sister?" Olga asked as the girl opened the car door.

Helga shrugged candidly. Staring into her ceiling for hours a day for the past week helped her prepare for what was to come. Unwanted social interactions. "Yeah. See ya later." She exited the vehicle. Out of sight, out of mind, is what she kept telling herself. Just take deep breaths, think about something Bliss would say.

To think once she was an extroverted, direct, human being was almost comical now. She was a shadow. A twitchy freak. How was it that the older you aged, the more anxieties arose? The more she learned about the world, the harder it became to live in. She didn't make eye contact with anybody as she made her way to her first class, then chose a seat in the back of the room.

All new faces walked into the space, finding different seats, none of them spoke to her or acknowledged her, which was fine.

Helga inhaled therapeutically, opening her notebook as the teacher started the class and spoke to the students. She wrote down various words that fluttered into her conscious. Eventually the words turned into sentences, paragraphs. Most of it was nonsense. Some of it might have been lovely.

Years ago, Bliss had encouraged her to jot down what was on her mind frequently. Maybe it could stop the steaming anger bubbling under her skin. Maybe it could help dissipate her frustrations. To exert all that brain babble onto something physical.

Time was lost in that forty five minutes, and before she knew it the bell had rung; her note book had three pages filled, and she was onto second period, study hour. She headed to the library. Seeing some familiar faces walk past her in the hall, but she said nothing.

She overheard most of everyone's conversations. How was your summer? What'd you get up to? She even managed to evade Eugene's advance to talk to her about her own vacation. She had become a master avoider. Which was sad really. Pretending to be interested in someone else's life was just too debilitating.

Helga entered the quiet yet large area. Towers of books lined up neatly in rows and columns. A couple of students were passed out on the tables, using their backpacks as pillows for their short slumber. Obviously not prepared for the returning school year.

The taller teenager finally found a secluded table near the back corner of the library. She tossed her notebook on it and sat down in the nearby chair, propping her feet upon the tabletop. Her eyes glancing up at the popcorn textured ceiling.

She was almost a little disappointed she hadn't seen Phoebe yet. But then again she probably wouldn't have made contact. Still, she wanted to see her. She still had her sweater that she hadn't returned yet. The blonde shuffled awkwardly in her seat. Knowing that it would be the right thing to do. Return the sweater. But every time she thought of walking by the Heyerdahl house an excuse arose.

_You know, she probably won't even miss it….it doesn't even fit her anymore. I'm sure it's fine if I keep it a little longer._

Which were crappy excuses. She just didn't want to admit that she herself wanted to keep the sweater. Not that she was doing anything creepy with it. It currently hung in her closet. Yet every time she opened the door to grab an article of her own clothing, she thought of taking it. Tucking a pillow into it, and sleeping on top of the euphorically scented fabric.

Helga closed her eyes and sighed to herself. _Okay...seriously, Helga, you need some help._

"Hey. How's the first day back going?"

She glanced up and her stomach did a backflip. She quickly flipped over the notebook and cleared her throat, her feet falling to the ground. Her mean demeanor returning. "Well, it _was_ tolerable, Arnoldo."

The blonde haired boy sat down across from her at the secluded table. His green eyes twinkling with opportunities of the new school year. His buoyant hair glistening with a familiar aromatic shampoo. A crisp stack of papers in his hands. He asked with curiosity. "Join any clubs yet?"

Helga absently scratched her temple as her cobalt colored eyes darted from his, down to her notebook. "I'm...I'm not really a clubs person."

"I understand that." He grinned slightly. "Which is why you should join _**my**_ club."

The girl bit her top lip in a rather irritated way. Did he think he was charming or something? Hopefully her distant disposition would have turned him away, but then again this was Arnold she was talking to.

"You didn't join any clubs last year." He noted.

"Precisely." She returned firmly.

"This one's easy. It's an art club. I figure...you could...share some of your poetry. Constructive criticism." He said as he gently placed a flier before her on the table.

Adjusting her glasses, she browsed down at it, assuming Arnold had drawn the flier. Some assorted doodles with bold letters in the middle of the page. _ART & ETC._ "My poetry doesn't need to be shared. And your pitch sucks."

His confident smile remained as he took his flier back and sighed faintly. "I don't want you to take this the wrong way. But you seem kinda...down lately…"

Helga rolled her eyes and gritted her teeth. Her tone was no longer civil. "Oh, thats right, because you're everyone's fucking therapist, and since I don't run to you for advice, you feel like you need to come to me, nice try, Arnoldo." She said as she snatched her notebook and stood up, starting to walk away.

He continued to sit in the chair at the table and muttered rather audibly. "You know, my Grandma talks so highly of you."

She stopped in her tracks. A shiver trailed down her spine.

"She says sometimes you...read stuff to her."

The taller girl turned fiercely on her heel and faced him again. She stomped over and stood above the boy, lowering her voice in a threatening way. "I told that woman I would cut her tongue out if she ever-"

"That's all she said, Helga. She didn't share anything else with me. What you guys have is special, I wouldn't want to intrude, I just...wish you could be that open...more often. It might help your...mood." He attempted to choose his words carefully.

She snorted sarcastically. " _ **With you?**_ "

The young man chuckled. "No, that'd be asking the impossible. Just in general." He stood up from the chair. Their bodies were inches away from each other. "You know...Phoebe seemed interested in joining when I asked her and...I don't know why I care, I just do. Probably my stupid optimistic nature." He handed her a flier. "If you want some people to listen or...just want to hang out with some friends. You're more than welcome."

She hesitantly took it as he started to walk away but before he left her range of voice, she spoke up. "Why? Why now?"

He turned and looked back at her. "Why what?"

"We're not really _friendly_ acquaintances, footballhead."

Arnold merely shrugged. "I saw an opportunity and I took it. I know you mostly avoid me. And I wanted to talk to you."

"Yeah, well, maybe I avoid you for a reason. Did that ever cross your mind?"

He held up one of his fliers and half-grinned. "Share sometime?"

_**XOXOX** _

Once they reached high school, and were able to leave the school grounds for lunch period, Slausen's had been their go to spot. Most of the time Rhonda did all the ordering of food and Helga brought her lunch sack to keep the Princess company. But today she didn't pack one. Probably didn't remember through all the dread she was feeling this morning when she left the house.

They both sat at a quaint booth in the parlour which still had not been updated since the eighties.

"How's it going so far?" The slender teenager asked as a waitress came to their table. She turned politely to the employee before the girl could speak. "Just a coffee, please."

"Ditto." Helga mumbled as the waitress hesitated then shrugged as she walked away. "I really don't want to talk about it. Im drained."

Rhonda fumbled around in her purse. "Need a pick me up?"

"I'm good for now, thanks. What about your day?"

"Might be a shit year. Might be a good one. Who knows? Ruth thinks she can suddenly own the basketball team by wearing a cheap crop top. Real classy on your first day."

Helga scoffed as Rhonda continued to rummage in the bag. "You remember the first day of sophomore year?"

"We skipped first period and smoked a joint under the stadium bleachers." The dark haired girl chuckled to herself as she finally found her lip gloss in the bottomless purse.

Helga had to admit they were a little rebellious and carefree in their previous years. Not that they didn't still know how to have a good time, but graduation was soon approaching, she would eventually have to focus on her classes if she wanted to complete her education. " _Real classy._ "

"The day isn't over yet." Rhonda winked as she pressed the applicator to mouth, rubbing in the shimmer to her already perfect lips.

"I...I cant. It's nothing against you. I just...have a lot on my mind."

"The gay thing?"

"I dont...I dont know." She didn't understand how Rhonda could treat the situation so casually. Not like being gay was a bad thing. But this was high school! Mobs of smelly teenagers could poke and prod you with insults and stares in a mere fraction of a second. Depending on who you were friends with, your hierarchy status could change in a moment. And even though she and Miss Lloyd were good friends, their social ranks were definately alienated. She was aware that there were worse things in the world. Her parents were rotting away in prison right now. But high school in a way was it's own prison.

Rhonda's deposition became perky as she recollected her thoughts. "You know who you need to see? _MY_ therapist. She'll set you right as rain. Here's her locker number. Just meet her after next period." She threw the lip gloss into her purse and whipped out a pen then wrote the number on a napkin as the waitress dropped off their coffees at the table.

The blonde apprehensively raised a brow. "Seriously?"

_**XOXOX** _

_501...502...50-_

Helga was glancing down at her napkin and at the locker numbers when she finally reached 503. A young man was standing in front of the open compartment reading the novella Carmen by Prosper Mérimée.

He originally was around five foot, five inches, but the pumps he wore made him a striking five foot, nine inches. The heels were an ivory color and he wore a pair of tan dress shorts with a grey polo shirt tucked into the waistline; a thick brown belt around his hips. He looked like he was about to go golfing but also strut down a runway at any given moment.

Once Helga got closer, she also noticed his amber eyes had a dark silvery shadow around them and his jet black hair was gelled and combed back, parted neatly.

"What can I do for you, Miss Pataki?" He then averted his gaze up and grinned affably at her.

She looked down at the number on the napkin again then looked back at him, making sure this was indeed the right locker. "Curly?"

"Li-Li for short. I'm thinking it might be the perfect drag name for me. That or Curlimillo." he thought out loud.

"Um…" She struggled for words. Finally understanding that Curly _was_ the person that Rhonda had been referring to. "H-How was your summer?"

The young man swooned to himself for a moment. "Oh, it was glorious. We went to Spain for a couple of weeks. I got to dance with a couple of spanish boys." He then mischievously raised his thickly manicured brow. "You have questions about something? There's something burning deep within, I can see it." He slapped the book shut with his hand and haphazardly tossed it into his locker, quickly linking her hands with his. "Ooh, I can feel it! **Spill**." He stated eagerly.

The blonde chuckled rather awkwardly. Hesitantly confiding in the boy with a hushed tone. "Um...I'm not really….good at….articulating...what's...on my mind.."

"This, coming from THE Helga Pataki? The Helga Pataki that used to pummel terror in each and every foot step down the hallways of PS 118? Granted, you never frightened me too much, but then again I'm no chaste or guiltless lady." He slyly winked at her.

The boy's proximity became closer as she felt his grip intensify on her hands. And through her peripheral vision she noticed some stares. A bead of sweat formed upon her brow. "Um...Nevermind just… just forget it."

Curly blinked, noticed her change in temperament and frantically released her. "Hey, woah, woah. Honey, I am sorry, I can be…" He laughed and fanned his face with his hands; nails painted a sparkling jade. "I saw something there, and it got me all ruffled and twitterpated."

Helga then warily bit her bottom lip and just said it. She needed to. Everything was just building up. And she figured she might pop if something wasn't released soon. "I-I think I might like someone…a girl someone."

He leaned in and lowered his voice as students walked by. " _Rhonda?"_

"No...someone...else."

"Oooh, a new comer?"

"It's more of an attraction thing…" She paused. "...I think."

"Oh Helga, it's 2003. Times are changing. All these new things and feelings are coming out of the woodwork. It's all normal."

The taller girl browsed around at the students who were going to their lockers to collect their items and leave for the day, then turned back to the attentive young man. "Someone told me these...things might be just a phase."

"You know what's a phase? These pumps that I'm currently in love with but will unfortunately have to replace next season." He grabbed her again, this time by both forearms. "But this...this intoxicating feeling, enrapturing your very essence, the confusion, the excitement, the angst!" His body quivered ecstatically by the amount of drama.

"So you understand? What do I do?"

"Do what feels right and fuck all these petty buffoons. They'll never know how the grip of desire and bewilderment torments you day and night. You are a conundrum of a being. Follow yourself down the rabbit hole and take hold of that authenticity. Even if it leads you right into the absorbing darkness. Choking on reality, gasping and grasping for what you _THOUGHT_ was air is just a pseudo sensation of uniformity. _Normality_."

The girl's eyes widened as her esophagus tightened.

Curly's facial features lightened and he let go of her forearms; he fanned himself again and chuckled. "Told you I was rather twitterpated." He took in an amused breath and exhaled, this time delicately taking her hands into his. "I am here if you need me, child. You'll be okay. My fabulousness wasn't built in a day. And neither will yours."

"I...can't really imagine myself being fabulous."

The boy's lips pursed as he playfully pushed her on the shoulder. "Then you and I should definitely hang out more."

A small smile found it's way onto her lips before a larger student walked by, intently bumping his heavy backpack into the side of Curly's body, making the young man collide roughly into the metal locker.

Helga's blue eyes filled with animosity as she watched the larger student continue to walk down the hall as if nothing had happened. "Hey, asshole! What the fuck?" She shouted after the perpetrator.

The burly teenager paused with his friend and they both turned around. The face was familiar and as the muscular boy crossed his arms, and walked back to the two, Helga immediately wanted to punch his lights out. He mocked, "Aww. The little fruit cup found a friend. Hahaha! I didn't think Helga would make the best choice, but she might make a man out of you yet!" Wolfgang chortled loudly as his sidekick Edmund snickered next to him.

The blonde at first stepped in between the bully and her wounded companion, but then she felt a hand upon her shoulder. The young man had composed himself from the prior graceless encounter. "I can fight my own battles. Thank you." He spoke as he then dusted both of his shoulders off.

Wolfgang sneered and poked a thick finger into the shorter boy's chest. "Fork over the heels, Fruit cup. I want to throw a field goal with 'em."

Curly quickly slapped his hand away. "If you want to keep your hands I suggest you stay far away from my wardrobe."

The ill-mannered teen nudged his oafish friend. "Hahaha! Look at this pipsqueak. You're no threat to me."

The clean cut young man then inspected the letterman's jacket, His right eye twitched as he grinned eerily. An idea flickered into the forefront of his mind. "Signing up for tryouts?

Wolfgang scoffed coarsely. "Of course, football is the manliest sport there is! Not like you would know anything about that with your fancy, prancy ballet."

Curly slyly crossed his arms and his features exuded with impish notions. "Well I'll have to make sure I come to your games more.

The bully puffed out his chest as his temper rose. "You better watch out, froot loop, get too close you might get hurt." He lunged his palms forward to push the shorter student's torso, but swiftly found his wrists in the dark haired boy's tight grip.

Curly's black brows dug into his fierce amber eyes, the silver eyeshadow glistening as he whispered gruffly. " _I told you to watch your hands."_

Wolfgang immediately yanked his arms away and took a step back. Scowling before stomping down the hall with his dopey companion.

Helga finally spoke up and muttered out loud, her voice filled with disdain. "What a moron."

The boy brushed himself off again, looked to Helga and shook his head as he closed his locker. "Oh dear, oh dear." He wrapped his arm calmly around her waist. "Now Helga, if there is ever another time you run into a Gemini, I have some advice for you. Do not _**FUCK**_ with the wrong twin. Our session will have to resume another time, Sweetie." He ended roughly as he then proceeded to make his way to the exit of the building. His heels clacking loudly as he paced in an irritable manner.

A little confused, and worried he might actually commit a crime, Helga called after him. "Where are you going?"

The determined young man shouted back, his hips swaying back and forth as he strutted. "To sign up for tryouts. I'll beat that brute as his own game!" He raised up his toned calf and kicked open the school door, his pumps unharmed in the process as he trudged outside.

The blonde girl tiredly sighed but followed his direction at a slower speed. She thought back to what he said before the whole unnecessary encounter with the village idiot. Desire and bewilderment. Sounded about right.

She eventually made her way outside, down the staircase, her one notebook in hand as she stared at the students piling into the bus in front of the school. Olga usually always stayed late at PS 119, so walking home was an ordinary occurrence. That or she took the bus, but she didn't seem too enthused about hearing how everyone's first day back went in the chatter of the cramped government vehicle.

The High School building was large, with an aquatic center to the left and a football field residing to the right of the entrance. The Pataki condo was just a couple blocks north, so most students that lived in that area would cut through the football field to save on time and heat that the concrete sidewalks reflected.

She began her journey through the neatly cut grass when a familiar voice snuck up behind her.

"Long day?"

Helga promptly turned back to see her shorter companion approach her on the field. Her purple highlights and sterling piercings glimmered against the dwindling sun. The blonde anxiously gulped. _Rabbit hole…_ She told herself. _Rabbit hole…_ "Hey..erm...Hello. Howdyado." She blinked and responded gawkily. Her heart fluttering yet again in this young woman's presence.

Phoebe met the taller girl's pace and giggled softly. She carried a knapsack on the back of her shoulders. "So It has been long. I wasn't able to catch up with you today. I was a little disappointed. Thought maybe...you were avoiding me."

"What!?" Helga responded exaggeratingly. "No! No of course not! Just um...Just...really busy…" She fumbled as she pulled out Arnold's flier from her notebook. "Just so...many options for...extracurriculars this year."

The shorter girl's face scrunched in confusion. "You're interested in Arnold's club? From what you declared about him the other day, I'm surprised you even allowed him to converse with you."

Damn, she was right about that. It was time to lie. "Yeah..I um...really thought about what you said about the whole, only having one life to live...kinda thing...you know...figured it might be... _cool._ And it won't just be Arnoldo there, probably some other people too." Hey, she didn't think it was a good lie.

Phoebe blankly shrugged. "I actually considered joining. My paintings recently have been...mediocre, at least from my perspective. Constructive criticism might be healthy to my artistic advantage." She lightly nudged Helga's arm. "And it would be a bonus if you decided to join. But I understand if that would leave you in an uncomfortable situation."

Helga kept quiet for the moment as her teeth burrowed into her tongue. Poetry coursed through her veins, and she attempted to control her strong urges of spilling her affections out onto the football field.

Phoebe thought aloud and browsed her feet as she walked. "Maybe this year we could...study together sometime...I could prepare a meal for you again?" She quaintly suggested. "Of course, when you would have free time with all the extracurricular activities."

"Oh yeah, I mean, it's mildly extra." The blonde swiftly stated. She clumsily reassured her friend. "I'll still have a whole bunch of time for things...and um...eating and studying. Yeah I'll have loads of time for that."

The dark haired girl smiled to herself faintly. "You know...I can actually brine and season a decent pastrami if you're interested."

Helga retorted again, less elegantly this time. "Oh, I'm totally interested in tasting your meat." Once it exited her lips, her facial features crumpled bashfully. "Er, I mean, heh, uh…" She attempted to recover. _Shut up, you boob!_

"It's okay, I know what you mean."

The blonde abruptly stopped walking in the middle of the large field. She took in deep breath as Phoebe's route paused and she noticed her friend's composure shift. "Something wrong?" she asked politely.

Helga's soul began to quiver when her blue eyes directly met the pair of hazel irises. She absentmindedly licked her sun dried lips and almost uttered a word of rhythmic and romantic literature when something hard slammed into the left side of her cheek and then-

_**black.** _

_**XOXOX** _

The aroma of grass and pine faded as they left the country and journeyed back into the city. Helga blinked a couple times and looked down at her hands gripping the steering wheel of an older pick-up truck. She quickly peeked back to the bed where a tent and camping gear resided.

Her head altered to the front windshield, her features were baffled. She didn't have a license; she barely had a permit, and she definitely didn't own a truck.

Phoebe was sitting in the passenger seat; chin resting on her propped up elbow as she peered out the window at the passing foliage. The glass slightly rolled down as her blue and black locks danced graciously in the fleeting wind.

It must've been a dream but it seemed...real.

The blonde inspected her surroundings. For some reason in her mind they must've been camping. She hadn't been camping since she was in elementary school, but the only place she really knew of was Ophelia's Overlook which was an hour or so outside the city.

Then Phoebe turned her head over to her companion and grinned she lifted her sleek sunglasses up from her caring eyes. She stared for a couple moments before Helga glanced over and the tops of her cheeks flushed. "Something on my face?" She asked timidly.

"Just wanted to stare at you, bucko."

Helga half-grinned, and coyly bit at her bottom lip as she asked. "Were we at Ophelia's Overlook?"

"We _were_ ; now heading back into the city. I wish this weekend could've lasted an eternity." The shorter girl exhaled in a dreamy kind of way.

"The drive back is really pretty."

"Not as pretty as you."

The taller girl's rose colored skin intensified. Heat burrowing from under her thin surface. "Pheebs, seriously, what's with you?"

"Can't I admire my lovely girlfriend?"

Helga blinked a little startled, and didn't respond. Focusing on the lines as they passed underneath the truck. They finally reached an intersection and the pick-up rumbled between their silences as it stopped at the red light.

"Something wrong?" Phoebe finally asked through the lull.

"No...just...it feels nice to be looked at like that." She spoke softly and honestly.

Her foot slightly accelerated the vehicle as the light turned green, but as they crossed the intersection everything happened so instantaneously.

In her peripheral vision approached a large semi-truck; it's speed didn't reduce as it blew past the red light and straight towards them.

Her sapphire eyes widened with panic, her words couldn't leave her mouth fast enough as their fate approached head on. "Phoebe watch-!"

**CRASH!**

The vehicle spun as the semi continued burling through the street. Their automobile stopped spiraling when it violently slammed into a nearby light post, destructively knocking over the fixture.

Her vision was dizzy and her body ached with fresh bruises; Helga woozily regained some of her composure as she peered over. Her passenger appeared senseless as metal curled around her small figure. Glass pierced through her cream colored flesh and a wet scarlet hue slowly emerged from underneath her clothes.

The blonde urgently fought through her pain as she ripped off the seat belt and immediately tended to her wounded companion. "Oh my god, Phoebe!" Helga screamed as she tried pulling the girl's fragile form from the steel casket.

Fortunately, Miss Heyerdahl was barely conscious and winced. "Ow, ow. Please...stop." Her voice was very weak. Blood emerged and dripped down from the crystal glass. Staining those beautiful cheeks.

Thick tears started to well from under Helga's blue eyes. "What can I do?" Her voice saturated desperation and despair. Her throat tightened, as anguish overwhelmed her emotional state.

The smaller girl let out a deep internal cough; red liquid spilling over her supple lips, glazing over her piercings. " _You… you can't do anything...you didn't do anything..."_

Helga tentatively cupped Phoebe's battered face. "Please don't say that." The droplets poured down her own bruised cheeks. Her bottom lip curled with the agony and she let out a soft sob.

" _You weren't there...when...I needed you…"_

The blonde shook her head as the tears splashed. She confessed with an open heart. "Phoebe, I am so sorry. I'm a fucking selfish asshole. I'm a coward! I'll make it right. I'm here now. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere." She desperately consoled.

The dark haired girl closed her eyes tightly like she was experiencing a tremor of pain, she snarled with sharp incisors, and when she opened her lids again, a bright crimson glow illuminated from her pupils. Her voice deepened. " _You're too….._ _ **LATE!**_ "

Helga immediately retracted as the girl's form started to contort violently, a black shadow snaking and twisting over her petite body; her head billowed then popped into a football shape and her canine teeth manifested into fangs. The demon that now resided in the passenger seat started to cackle evilly. Low at first, but each chortle grew more deafening and heinous.

Helga's facial features shifted from a puffy sadness to a fuming rage. A fire blazed behind her burning sapphire eyes. She shouted defiantly. " _ **YOU!**_ "

The monster let out one last wicked laugh before thrusting it's claws into her chest. Her rib cage collapsed inward at the force and a insufferable pain sliced through her heart as the creature cruelly clutched the sensitive organ.

She reactively grabbed the forearm of the beast. Her bloodshot eyes straining with the internal puncture. Her withered voice raspily let out a response. " _No._ "

" _You're. Too. Late._ " It hissed hatefully.

Fresh blood came up from her throat and stained her ivory teeth as she grated her molars together. She let out an excruciating moan, finding her voice again before it disappeared. "No. I'm right... _ **HERE!**_ "

_**XOXOX** _

The blonde forcefully gasped awake and started coughing. The setting sun now reflecting in her watering cobalt colored eyes.

"Helga?" A voice frantically called as her ears gradually shaped vibration and sound again.

She realized her glasses were no longer on her face as three blurry figures hovered above her. She really couldn't tell what had happened; felt like her body ached almost everywhere, but especially on the left side of her jaw and in her mouth.

There was one comforting feeling amongst the soreness; a pair of arms consolingly held her upper torso from the grassy ground. Droplets from her watered eyes streamed down the side of her temple as she squinted and tried focusing on her shadowed caretaker in the blinding sunset. A hand came into her vision as it gently supported the side of her face, a soothing thumb wiping the tears away.

The blonde blinked a couple times as her pupils balanced the dark silhouette with the golden sky and her frantic soul calmed into a pool of adoration once Phoebe's beautiful face came into view.

The shorter girl breathed out a heavy sigh of relief. "Oh, thank god, you're awake."

Another face came into her peripheral vision, a football shaped one. "Helga! Helga, are you okay? I'm so sorry!" Arnold exclaimed as his green eyes were filled with remorse and worry.

Helga blissfully ignored the question as she gazed into Miss Heyerdahl's hazel eyes, the door of her heart pounding, feelings from her dream state still at the forefront of her mind. Words rolling off the tip of her tongue, ready to really hit the young woman with some deep hard poetry. "Oh Ph- OW!" She yelped as a sharp pain radiated from her front tooth when her bottom lip pressed into it.

Another voice spoke up but she couldn't see his face. She had an idea of who he was though. "For the record, this was totally Arnold's fault."

"Curly!" Arnold exclaimed in an upset manner.

"You threw the football too far!"

"You told me to help you practice on the field!"

"I will NOT run in these one of a kind heels!"

"Would you two please put your frivolous differences aside? We must take her to the dentist right away!" Phoebe sternly chided the boys as she continued to cup Helga's face in her cool palm; nursingly rubbing the girl's jaw. Her voice shifted sweetly as she spoke to her injured companion. "It's not that bad, but it'd be best if you don't speak for a little while. Okay?"

"You better have some good insurance, footballhead." Curly muttered bluntly.

The blonde haired boy snapped back. "You heard, Phoebe. Can't you assess the situation a little more sensitively?"

The impatient young man huffed aloud. "Helga, you know I love you, but revenge takes priority! I will be able to coddle you at another time; preferably after I make the football team and rub it in Wolfgang's piggish face."

Arnold and Phoebe helped the afflicted girl up off the ground as Curly stomped over to the stadium bleachers, searching for the ball that ricocheted off of Helga's face. "Now I have to find this DAMN BALL!"

_**XOXOX** _

_Dearest, Phoebe, blight of the armored bastile of my soul_

_My heart has shattered; where my chest lies, there is a hole_

_Shrouded flurries serenading a forgotten song_

_Wilt thou ever find a way through the fog?_

_Once shadows engulf this tormented spirit_

_Your melody will lead, crooning through the cloudy thicket_


	5. Speechless

_**~2000~** _

After Rhonda had mentioned she found a diary in Helga's closet, that got the blonde thinking. What was the purpose of holding onto such painful memories? Such feelings of unrequited love and rejection? She had made up her mind. She would be rid of such recollections.

The thirteen year old grabbed her backpack and went to her closet. Taking as many diaries as she could and threw them into the open sack. Of course they weren't all the same shade of pink and were all various sizes, which made it difficult to fit all of them at once.

This was her fourth and, hopefully, final trip. And each time she had come to her closet to gather her memories, her eyes would glance upwards at the shelf that resided atop her hanger rod. A bundle of unsent letters were tied up in the nostalgic pink ribbon.

Their envelopes licked as if she once had the intent to send them. Some even had stamps, yet this is where they ended up. She pondered of taking them with the old diaries and poems, burying them under the dirt on Elk Island, never to be seen again. But she couldn't bring herself to do it.

She usually caught a bus to the wharf around six am every other day. Sheena's uncle Earl would be fishing in the Skookumchuck River, and she would call him over. Giving him a dollar to bring her to the island. He also let her borrow his shovel for five cents.

He sang her a different chantey every morn, and once they arrived at the small island, she maneuvered her way into the thick brush and undug the earth; revealing a collection of dirtied books, soaked with mud water and a couple worms. She would add whatever was in her backpack each time to the pile, and encase the dirt back over her forgotten chronicles; heading back to the uncle as he would then accelerate the old boat back to the wharf.

Everytime she was on that rickety watercraft, watching the rising sun through her thick frames, she thought about the letters in her closet. They were currently snug and safe in that pink ribbon that she used to wear everyday. And maybe that's why she couldn't bring herself to throw them away.

_**~2003~** _

" _I'm right here."_ Phoebe fondly whispered to her companion in the reclined dentist's chair.

Once they had arrived at the Gentle Dentistry an hour before, Helga insisted she was a little scared and would've felt better if Phoebe had held her hand through the procedure. Of course she couldn't say any of this, so she did it through understandable gestures as the dentist prepared his drill and tools. She would've prefered their fingers be intertwined, but the simple hand hold was nice too.

She couldn't feel anything that was going on in her mouth, but the feeling of Phoebe's palm pressed against her own gave her the relief she needed from the panic. At least for the moment. She cherished the warmth lingering upon her fingertips as the dentist performed his trade on her chipped teeth.

Arnold also offered up his hand incase the dental procedure got rocky, but she rejected that thought immediately out of her mind. He figured she was still salty after the whole football episode; that was _his_ fault by the way, in case anyone forgot!

Once the dentist had shined a bright UV light into her mouth and the operation was done, Helga stared back up at the girl that resided next to her on a guest chair. A paper bib draped upon her chest; the inner sides of her mouth filled with cotton rolls to keep her from biting her tongue off. A bit of drool pooling off of her bottom lip. Her cheeks rose slightly, as if she were smiling at her shorter companion.

The dark haired girl grinned down cordially at the cheerful blonde. Helga's glasses were found nearby their location on the grass field after the incident, and had been put back together with masking tape. The frames were definitely mangled, tilting slightly to the right side of her face; one of the lenses cracked from the collision with the football. But Phoebe had to admit that it made the blonde girl's disposition even more endearing.

Phoebe gave a light squeeze to Helga's hand and coyly winked at her, making the lanky teenager's cheeks redden and she innocently averted her eyes to the ceiling. Finally realizing how long she had been staring at her friend.

The doctor jotted out a document on his clipboard as he spoke. "So I was able to repair a majority of the damage. Filling a couple of her chipped molars in her lower and upper rows; and I was able to bond a resin cap to her front tooth. If she ever does have issue with it in the future we can try a crown, but I don't think that'll be necessary now." He talked to Arnold and Phoebe as if they were Helga's guardians.

Arnold pledged firmly to the dentist. "Sir, I want to take full responsibility of the charges. This was entirely my fault."

The old man eyed him and shrugged nonchalantly. "You can take that up with my secretary at the front desk." He looked over to Helga. "Take your time getting up, and I suggest leaving the cotton in until your mouth regains feeling. But other than that you should have a quick recovery." With that he calmly exited the room, leaving the door open.

Phoebe turned back to the girl who was at it again, gazing up at her. Her blue eyes almost looked elated despite the current situation. Obviously not wanting her friend to worry. She was Helga Pataki! She had been through much worse situations and survived.

Arnold sighed, rather despaired; running his fingers through his ruffled hair. "Whatever the cost, Helga, I'll fix it." He thought to himself and muttered out loud, calculating his current finances. "I should have enough for her glasses to be repaired."

"Don't your grandparents have insurance?" Phoebe asked curiously.

"Yeah, but I don't want to rely on that. This is something I caused. I'm almost an adult and I had been saving up all summer for a car but...that money can go to Helga's teeth...and her glasses…" He let out another solemn exhale.

The blonde girl chuckled on the inside. _What an ass._ She would definitely keep Arnold to his word.

They helped the taller girl up off the dentist chair; her legs worked fine, but she faked a sprained ankle to rest her arm over Phoebe's shoulders. Supporting herself onto the shorter girl as Arnold forked over his savings at the front desk.

As they walked out of the dentistry, a buzzing sensation filled the side pocket of Phoebe's knapsack. She pulled out the pager and read the number, gasping slightly. "Oh, goodness, I completely forgot I was going to assist my mother with grocery shopping this evening."

The footballheaded boy smiled brightly in response. "You go ahead! I can help Helga home from here." He said as he lent out an arm for Helga to grab onto; initiating a transfer of support from Phoebe to him.

The blonde girl's sapphire eyes widened in trepidation as she looked down to her shorter companion, attempting to mumble something through the muffling cotton. ' _I'm okay, really! I can get home on my own!'_

But with Phoebe's kind heart, and Arnold's unrelenting willingness to help people, it was a downhill battle. The dark haired girl eyed Arnold skeptically. "You know, Arnold, Helga can be quite the handful. Are you positive you'll be able to assess her injuries with the utmost care? I can always telephone my mother and tell her I'll be delayed for a little while."

"No, don't worry about it!" The boy exclaimed as he then quickly swooped his arm around Helga's torso and hoisted her free arm over his broad shoulders. The blonde girl's facial expression was of shock at his abrupt and forward motion. "You go help your mom! I'll take good care of Helga."

Phoebe sighed, disappointed with her complicated situation for the moment. She wanted to stay with her friend and nurture the girl until her health was better, but then again she definitely didn't like breaking promises she had made prior.

The shorter teen came up and placed a consoling hand upon the Helga's forearm. Her light hazel eyes twinkling sincerely against the setting sun. "I'll stop by to check on you later this evening, alright? I promise."

_**XOXOX** _

Helga's arm was still propped upon Arnold's shoulders as they arrived at the boarding house. Her condo was still a couple blocks north. Why were they stopping here?

"I know I said I was going to take you home, but I figured we could get a meal in us after this...well, unfortunate day." He chuckled a little to himself at his forsaken situation as he helped her up the stoop to the older building.

Helga rolled her eyes with irritation. All she really wanted to do now was go home and lie down until Phoebe's arrival later that night. Even though she was starving, she would much rather walk home and make her own meal or grab something to go from a local eatery. She knew Gertie's cooking required a strong stomach, something she wasn't so sure she could muster at the moment.

A flock of cats hissed and mewed as they left the building when he opened the aged green door, walking Helga to the living room where he carefully helped her to the couch. "I'll be right back, I'm just going to update Grandma of the situation."

Helga sighed as she slumped into the back seat of well-used couch, pondering ways to get out of this and get home. As she contemplated her escape, a fattened pig entered the room and mosied over to her direction; jumping on top of the couch, he then snuggled his way onto her lap.

The lanky teenager groaned as the weight from the animal fell upon her thighs, but the pet was unmoved as he curled up into a ball and fell asleep like a domesticated cat. The girl mumbled out something that sounded awfully similar to a swear word, and attempted to shift her weight under the load. Abner must've weighed nearly eighty pounds by now.

Gertie entered the room and gasped at Helga's horrifying condition. "Oh, Eleanor!" She then snapped at her clumsy grandson. "Arnold, how could you harm the first lady!?"

Helga never really heard the older woman call the boy by his _**actual**_ name. Must've been something she did when the footballhead got himself into difficult predicaments.

"It was an accident! Abner, get off Helga! Bad Boy!" Arnold exclaimed as he wrapped up the heavy pig into his arms and brought him to the doorway. Shooing the pet outside.

The girl exhaled with relief as Gertie came and tended to her, touching the back of her palm to Helga's forehead. As if taking a football to the face could've caused a cold. "What would you like to eat for dinner, dear? Probably something soft. I know! I'll make us a nice hot bowl of miso soup!"

"Grandma, she can't talk."

"Well, Arnold, she needs to get some rest immediately. Take her up to your room and have her lie down. I'll call you when dinner's ready!" She retorted eagerly as she then hustled to the kitchen.

Helga's eyes widened as she gave a muffled response. ' _I'm fine really, I can go home now.'_

Arnold held out his hand and gave her a questioning look, trying to interpret what she was trying to say. "What is it? Do you need me to carry you?" He then reached both his arms forward and she roughly slapped them away.

Growling through the cotton she stood up and faked a hobble up the stairs. He followed her from behind.

Once they got to the room, she slumped her butt onto his bed, crossing her arms rather angrily. Arnold grabbed some extra pillows from his closet and comfortably propped them behind her back. He puffed up his cheeks and blew out the air, scratching his head. "Well, I guess we can start on our homework until dinner is ready. Do you want me to play any music? Oh wait you probably hate that while you work. Hmm."

She actually quite enjoyed music while she did her homework.

"Actually I'm going to go get you a fresh pencil, maybe check on an estimated time for dinner. I'll be right back." He said with faint optimism in his voice as he left. As if the day had really worn him down. Helga scoffed to herself, as if _**he**_ were the real victim in this situation.

As soon as the bedroom door closed behind the boy, she shuffled from the bed to the custom ladder embedded into Arnold's wall, leading up to the sunroof. She pressed her palm firmly against the glass, but the exit wouldn't budge. That's when she noticed the thick lock attached to a newly installed hinge on the roof opening. ' _A padlock!? Since when does he lock this thing!?'_

She then hopped down and jogged over to the fire escape window. Same. Locked. ' _Isn't there some sort of fire code against this!?'_

Helga then glanced over at the wall near his bedroom door. A big rectangle fitting was cut into it. She walked over and swiftly kicked a spot on the wall to the side of the rectangle. The retractable red sofa folding out into the space. Helga laid atop of it, held her knees to her chest and then hit the same spot on the wall two times with her fist; making the sofa retract back into the crawlspace.

As the small couch flipped backwards into it's default position, she rolled off of it and into the spiderwebs and dust bunnies that populated the innards of the older home. She coughed and flailed her arms slightly in the webs, eventually spitting out the cotton swabs in her mouth, discarding them to the ground. One thing to be happy about was that her lips had almost regained feeling.

She then looked up and jumped, grabbing the edge of the air duct above her and pulling up her lanky body. Once she resided atop the thin fixture, she noticed that the vent had already been ripped off, remembering that she might have done that in her younger years. Have they not had any A/C maintenance since 1996? ' _Figures.'_ She thought as she slipped head first into the small metal space.

It was much more difficult to wiggle through as she had grown taller and wider since the fourth grade. She took in shallow breaths as she army crawled through duct, planning to get to the dumbwaiter and then making a break for the front door.

Everything was perfectly fine and she saw a faint light at the end of the metal tunnel; delicately moving until something shifted under her body, a creaking noise.

' _Uh-'_

The structure broke, the ceiling gave in, and she tumbled out of the duct and downward, landing flat on her back onto a solid, hard and wet surface, but her pain would have to wait later, as she weakly opened her eyes they immediately widened in surprise; and water began to sprinkle onto her face from above. She stared up at a very shocked and very naked Ernie who stood inside the bathtub she had just collapsed into.

' _-Oh'_

He had a shower cap on, a bar of soap in one hand and a loofa in the other.

Both of them stared at each other for a couple seconds before Helga noticed the window behind him, residing next to the toilet. Without saying anything, she had stumbled out of the bathtub, grabbed the shower curtain and ripped off the hooks from the rod.

He continued to watch her in awe as she took a couple courtesy towels from the bathroom towel rack and linked them all into tight thick knots. Finally wrapping a strong coil around the towel holder that resided near the bathroom window. She grunted as she opened up the decrepit window, sticking her head out to calculate the length of the drop below onto the sidewalk.

Ernie slowly resumed to scrub his belly with the sudsy loofa as he watched the escapade. He rarely got a show or any excitement with his shower.

The girl stuck out her legs and sat upon the edge of the windowsill, her golden hair picking up with the light breeze, dancing over her face and crooked glasses as she held onto the link of towels. She closed her eyes as she breathed in the crisp air, dropping from the window. The towels and shower curtain tightening with the weight.

Ernie curiously stepped out of his shower and walked over to the window, cautiously peering his head out. Watching as the blonde sprinted down Vine St., unharmed.

_**XOXOX** _

Arnold was heading back to his room with a couple of freshly sharpened pencils, when he noticed Ernie walk out of the bathroom, picking plaster off of his shower cap; a couple pieces of toilet paper wrapped around his waist since he didn't feel like untying all the towels that drifted with the breeze out the window.

Arnold inquisitively peeked his head into the bathroom real quick and noticed the gaping hole atop the bathtub; a combination of wood and sheet metal. A chunk of drywall dangled also from the opening then fell into the tub with other pieces. "What happened in here!?" The young man questioned frantically.

Ernie shrugged as headed to his room. "I figured this place was haunted since the day I moved in, I just try to ignore it."

_**XOXOX** _

Helga finally had regained her voice when feeling came back to her mouth. And she was starving.

She stopped in at Joe's Eats, ordering anything she thought her stomach could handle. A triple stacked cheeseburger with bottomless fries and a large strawberry milkshake. Even though she was allergic to the fruit, she didn't mind the artificial flavoring, she actually preferred it.

As she sloppily dined on the meal by herself, she noticed that her waiter had left the area. Maybe even the restaurant. A familiar face exited the kitchen, and she continued to chew her large bites as he casually walked over to her.

The taller boy stood over six feet two inches and his spiky hair just helped that number grow. "Hey Helga, funny to see you here." He then raised a brow, noticing her condition. "Gee willikers, what happened to yer face?"

Assuming that her classmate worked here, and the food was pretty damn good, she decided she would tolerate him. "It's a long story, Stink-o." She said rather civilly.

He sat across from her at the booth, absentmindedly wiping some small crumbs off the table as he spoke. "Did that happen at school today? Not even one day back and already the seniors are beanin' the juniors." The boy's voice still held a drawl, but it increased in bass as he matured. Stubble also had appeared upon the lower half of his face.

Helga scoffed lowly, and swallowed a big bite of her burger. "It wasn't a senior. It was friendly fire." She then took a sip of her shake.

"That really bites, Helga." He looked around at the empty tables that surrounded them. "Well, I gotta close the kitchen in a couple minutes. We do have a couple slices of my homemade pumpkin pie left over. It ain't technically on the menu." He grinned favorably. "On the house."

Helga paused for a second. Then she shrugged. "Sure."

"I reckon you're gonna love it!" He exclaimed as he got up and went back to the kitchen, she was almost done with her meal when he returned with the plate. A scrumptious and aromatic slice placed in front of her. "Hope yer doing okay though. Haven't chatted with ya in awhile."

"Oh, Peterson, why is the world so crazy?" She spoke more to herself than the boy sitting across from her as she forked the tip of the pie and stuck it into her mouth. Shit, this was good too.

"Hmm, I'm not too sure, Helga. I try and lead a simple life, might be why nothin' too bad happens to me."

"Are you seeing anyone?" She casually asked as she took another bite. Not that she really cared, but Stinky had a Arkansanian charm to his meek personality. She assumed it was appealing to someone.

He shook his head. "No, I dated Lila for a while after she broke up with Arnold, but then eventually she broke up with me, on account I'm too nice. Even nicer than Arnold!"

Helga rolled her eyes disdainfully at the thought of little miss perfect. "Yeah, Lila's a real peach."

"You reckon she's ruinin' some other poor sap's life right about now?"

"Does a bear shit in the woods?"

Stinky exhaled glumly. "I shouldn't talk about her like that. I have no ill will towards Lila. She's looking for something I don't think she'll find. Not with that attitude."

Helga finished the rest of the pie and set the fork down, now much more on her mind than she had planned. She tried changing the subject and gestured to the rest of the space. "Where's the rest of the crew?"

"They all went home around an hour ago. I'm closing up shop tonight. We used to be twenty-four hours, but no one really comes by at this time, so now they usually schedule one person. Do ya need a ride home? If I remember correctly yer home is a couple blocks away from here. I'd be happy to drive ya back."

She smiled slightly at his passive yet helpful demeanor. "Sure."

_**XOXOX** _

Once the young man brought her plates back to the kitchen sink he turned off all the lights and they headed outside.

"I just need to lock the doors, you can get in the truck if ya like." He tossed her his keys and she raised her right hand in the air to swiftly catch them.

Turning around to open the vehicle, she stopped in her tracks for a moment; a shiver trailing down her spine as she spotted the pickup. The vehicle eerily resembling something familiar. It looked almost identical to the one in her dream.

Helga went to the passenger side and unlocked it slowly, realizing that the inside also looked comparable. She got into the automobile and closed the door next to her, touching the dashboard and glancing down at the manual window adjuster. How could she have dreamt of this truck if she'd never been in it before?

The images of her fantasies and delusions came back to haunt her, but there was one bright spot amongst the pitch darkness. The girl that illuminated those nightmares. Her feelings lingered, and they felt heavy on her soul; she was almost at one hundred percent, but she wanted to attempt one more thing to make sure. Just to make sure.

Stinky got into the vehicle on the driver's side and patiently held out his hand for the keys.

"Stinky, before we go...I need you to help me with something." Helga said rather shakily, the keys still in her grip

"With what, Helga?" He asked politely curious.

"I need you to….make out with me, just for a little while. I need to...figure something out."

The taller boy's thin cheeks flushed at the suggestion. Obviously he felt unprepared as he figured he smelled like fryer grease and potatoes, which wasn't that romantic. "Well, alright, it's been awhile since I smooched any girls in my truck."

Without letting anymore time pass to doubt her decision, she scooched over on the tattered seat, quickly placing her hand on his jaw and pulling his mouth to hers. Helga closed her eyes tightly as she kissed her whiskered classmate. His lips were a little chapped but not unpleasant. His breath tasted like mixture of spearmint gum and tobacco, and to be honest, he wasn't a wet blanket like she was sure most of the school thought.

A bit of her was surprised when he applied a firm amount of pressure back upon her lips. Maybe he was just turned on by the taste of his own pie in her mouth.

Once they parted, she gradually opened her eyes. Her features slightly perplexed; deep in thought, analyzing her current feelings.

"Somethin' wrong?" He asked rather concerned. His face still red from the spontaneous encounter.

The blonde shook her head calmly and cooly. "I'm just...trying to figure out if….If I still like kissing guys. Um...I mean, _taller_ guys."

"Well…" He tapped his large fingers upon the steering wheel nervously. "How was it?"

"That's the thing, it was fine. But...nothing more."

"Ya know, Helga, sometimes that _something more_ comes from bein' romantically involved with the person...havin' lots of love in yer heart for them." He said and reached back to rub his nape awkwardly.

The teenage girl just inhaled and gazed out the front windshield at the street lights that surrounded the dingy restaurant. Flickering in the darkness as their bulbs died slowly.

"Ya can't force feelings that might not come natural to you. That's what it needs to be, natural."

She exhaled thoroughly and handed his keys over. "I just wish I had all the answers, Stink-o.".

"Just follow yer heart, Helga. Quit questionin' it, and just do what it says. Unless it tells ya to jump off a bridge...or smoke crack." He rolled his eyes with a half-smile and put the keys into the ignition. The vehicle turned over with a loud rumble and he shifted it into drive. "Sometimes it'll take time."

She scoffed rather amused and crossed her arms as he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road. "How did _Stinky Peterson_ become so wise?"

"I don't talk too much, on account I'm usually not the smartest person in the room. But I watch. I listen."

_**XOXOX** _

She waved to him as he drove off and she entered the quiet Pataki home. The first thing that caught her attention was the flashing light coming from the living room, she assumed from a television. Peeking her head in, she noticed Olga curled up on the couch, asleep from probably another marathon. A wine glass upon the stand next to the sofa. Helga grinned and quietly took the blanket hanging on the backrest, pulling it over her sibling's torso, gingerly tucking the woman in.

She then trudged achingly up stairs, the pain from hitting the bathtub starting to trouble her. When she opened her bedroom door all she thought about was passing out immediately on the mattress, but then a second thing caught her attention.

Her window curtains drawn back, the soft moonlight gleaming into the gloomy room; the pale light kissing the tops of the petals of the bouquet that was delicately laid upon her bed pillow. A small card was attached to the lovely pink camellias and a fuchsia paper surrounded the stems with a periwinkle bow.

She silently walked over and picked up the elegant and fragrant flowers, closing her sapphire eyes as she buried her nose gently into the blossoms. As if any loud noises might have ruined the moment or made the bouquet magically disappear. The floral scent now intoxicating her senses, she then looked at down at the attached card and opened it, suddenly feeling like a giant ass.

_Helga,_

_Feel better soon!_

_\- Phoebe_

' _God fucking damnit!'_ How could she forget that Phoebe was coming over? Maybe it was the intense hunger or pain that strained her consciousness all day, or the fact that she had to somehow escape the boarding house without anyone knowing. ' _Well that last one worked out really great_.' She thought sarcastically as she set the flower's back down upon the mattress, she would have to find a vase for them later.

Helga quickly flipped over her pillow to reveal the crinkled up number, picked up the phone that resided next to her bed and dialed. She also glanced over at the digital alarm clock that resided by the phone receiver. It was almost nine, hopefully Phoebe would still be up.

After a couple suspenseful rings the other line answered.

"Hey, I just got home...May I come over?...Okay, I won't be long." As soon as put the phone back onto the receiver, she got up and opened the closet door, grabbing the light blue sweater from hanger. Her heart stopped for a moment as her eye caught the subtle shimmer of the moonlight off of the pink ribbon. Her blue eyes glanced upwards at the shelf above the rod, the letters still there. Still untouched from the past couple years.

Her features became a mixture of saddened and hopeful as she balanced on the tips of her toes and gently took the letters from off the shelf. A buoyant coating of dust falling from the top of the envelop and the ribbon as she made her way out the door. Leaving behind the tiny floating particles that danced in the ghostly light of the room.

_**XOXOX** _

_I, a mere star drifting through black space; beloved Phoebe, you are the moon_

_gravitating towards your presence, makes thine burning heart swoon_

_scorching aimlessly against the vivid chroma and ripple of the cosmos_

_I hope to shoot for moon's surface, colliding with you before I explode_


	6. Volume

_**~24 Hours Ago~** _

It was almost nine as she readied herself for bed. After she showered, she brushed her teeth and cleaned her piercings with a cotton swab and some hydrogen peroxide.

Phoebe walked from the bathroom back to her room, a towel wrapped around her torso. Her room had mostly been the same, however there was a mixture of Dr Iron Claw posters on her wall, some personal trinkets her grandparents had left her and an easel which she painted on frequently.

There were times where she slept naked, most likely after a warm shower. She didn't really enjoy viewing her nude form in all it's blemished and battered glory. It was definitely something she was insecure about. Scars from glass, scars from metal. Scars from the operations. But she was alone, and her tender heart could usually manage her own reflection on a good day.

After she ruffled her black hair in the towel and folded the cloth back up neatly, setting it atop her pillow, she got into bed. The mattress contouring to her sensitive skeletal structure.

She laid there with her thoughts, a single sheet atop her form. She kept a little flashlight next to her bed incase she wanted to read herself to sleep, or just wanted to head to the bathroom without waking her parents.

She took in a breath, rather anxiously. And turned into her side, her arm shuffling under the pillow, pondering how her first day back in school would be tomorrow. School in Kentucky was rather easy; her high school had been out in the boonies, only around thirty kids or so in her class. Hillwood High neared around two thousand students. But Helga would be there...wouldn't she?

There was still no phone call from the blonde since she gave the girl her number around a week ago. She would be cooking with her mother in the kitchen and hear the phone ring, her mood becoming hopeful, but when she would answer it would just be a telemarketer or her Grandfather's lawyer who was working out her late family member's remaining assets with her mother.

It started to dwell on her, did Helga not want to talk? Did she not want to hang out? Did she not mean what she said when she wanted to pick up where they left off? Or was it more complicated than that. She would give her childhood friend the benefit of the doubt. After all they haven't really spoken in the past six years or so. Maybe it was too overwhelming for now. Maybe they could gradually start their companionship again.

She contemplated it quite often, her feelings of fondness returning here and there as she thought of a familiar Helga antic. The snarkiness. The ability to make her laugh, feel comfortable and at ease with herself. And then she also thought about their last meeting. How Helga left abruptly.

She didn't mean to apologize so much. She didn't mean to offend the blonde. Maybe her elementary meekness was still down inside her. Eventually not wanting to offend anyone would eventually offend _someone._

Her hazel eyes glazed over with slumber and her eyelids became heavy. She began to fall asleep, the notion of maybe seeing Helga tomorrow at school flickered through her neural synapses.

_**XOXOX** _

A honey colored light glimmered through her eyelids and she opened her eyes slowly, a faint glow illuminating through the tan plastic tarp that surrounded her. The girl winced as she hesitantly sat up and browsed her surroundings, she was in a tent! A couple sleeping bags underneath her form, but she didn't feel any back pain. No neck pain. She curiously checked the spot next to her, rumpled as if someone had been sleeping in it. The spot still slightly warm.

Phoebe looked down at her figure, she was also naked! She blushed for a moment as she heard birds singing, the crickets chirping as they welcomed the morn. She also heard a couple footsteps on the dirt outside of the small structure. The curious girl shuffled herself onto her knees and reached for the zipper of the opening, unwinding it as the subtle glare of dawn entered the tent and reflected in her dilating pupils.

As she inhaled the crisp woodland air, it was then that she noticed the marvelous figure standing there against the luminous sunrise. The essence of a dull smoke from the cooked timber in their campfire from what must have been the night before.

The figure's back was an appealing mixture of lean muscle and bone. She still held that lanky form and awkward posture, but an ambience of freedom surrounded her as she stood there, exposed and bare in the ascending light. The pale blueish tones of the sky melded with the blood orange glow of the giant star, saturating the blonde's translucent skin.

If she were any kind of expert painter this scene would have been her masterpiece, but for now it would have to reside in her mind. That was okay too, she didn't really want to share it. Phoebe cleared her throat, attempting to find her voice again. "Is...is everything okay?"

The tall girl turned around and grinned. "Sorry, I just wanted to appreciate the sunrise for a moment." She let out a lighthearted scoff. "Kinda sappy. I didn't mean to wake you."

Yet again, the front of Helga's nude form entered her vision. Nothing created or made up by her mind, it was the same as when she first saw it in in the Pataki kitchen.

The blonde's hips slanted forward slightly as her abdomen laid flat, her ribs almost visible, and her breasts were modest against her boyish figure.

Maybe it was the lighting, or the smells, or the dark green rigid forest surrounding and contrasting the creamy color of her companion's skin, but Phoebe suddenly felt breathless as Helga's defenseless form echoed in her hazel eyes.

Helga walked back towards the opening of the tent, crouching down to enter and immediately laid back down onto the cushioned sleeping bags. Their discarded clothes had been kicked to the corner of the tent.

Phoebe was still on her knees as she kept her eyes on her partner's natural physique. Was her dream trying to tell her something? Was this some fantasy based on her own recollections and past visual images? Or was this just one of those embarrassing naked dreams where everyone would point and laugh; however she didn't feel ashamed of her nudity, and Helga definitely didn't view her scarred body in a negative way.

"Dang, Pheebs, take a picture. It'll last longer." Helga finally said as she referred to Phoebe's yearning gaze, and rested her arms casually behind her blonde head.

The dark haired girl blushed as she zipped the opening of the tent closed. "Where are we?" The outside atmosphere didn't look like anywhere she'd seen in Kentucky, maybe another place from her past?

"Earth to Phoebe, we're at Ophelia's Overlook remember?" Helga sat up for a moment to wrap her arms around the shorter girl's torso, playfully dragging Phoebe's form on top of hers. "Or did you mean to say, _where were we?_ " She teased.

Phoebe then stared down at the blonde, at first surprised, but then somehow she got caught up in those complex yet twinkling sapphire eyes. Navy around the outer edges, wafting within turquoise seas. Goosebumps rose upon her forearms and back. "I don't believe I've had the pleasure of... _gazing into your eyes for this long._ " The volume of her voice dwindled.

Should she have been prudent or cautious in this moment? Should she have been modest in the presence of her very nude friend? Well, the way they were positioned said otherwise. She felt warmth, and intimately devoted to the young woman that lingered in her thoughts for the past several years. Was this dream somehow a manifestation of her feelings? Past or present or... something deeper?

Helga raised an eyebrow flirtatiously as her fingers mingled upon Phoebe's lower back. Her golden hair fanned out on the ruffled and disheveled sleeping bags. "Verdict?"

Her response was earnest; who was there to stop her? The confidence and understanding between them was ever looming. "They're stunning. It's like I can see every little chip and fracture of anguish that has ruptured behind these irises. But it's all so magnificent. It accentuates and emphasizes your natural beauty."

Helga moved up her thin arm and placed her hand upon the side of her partner's face, bliss washing over her features as she brushed the delicate flaws gracing Phoebe's cheeks. "You know all the right things to say."

She then gently pulled the shorter girl's face downward and brought their mouths together. Phoebe's hazel eyes widened in surprise for the moment, but then her seduced spirit drifted as if the kiss were a current alongside the wind, and she was swept away by it.

A bumble erupted within her chest as she felt her companion's supple lips moving and pursing upon her own, fluttering throughout her limbs. Realizing that she was indeed kissing Helga Pataki, she pulled away for a moment to rapidly gather her thoughts. "Are you um...are you okay with...this?" She muttered in a lower tone.

Helga hesitated as her hand still remained upon the side of Phoebe's face. "Hun, Are _YOU_ okay?" She asked, now a little concerned.

Phoebe attempted to control the arousing ambience that now simmered within her core."I don't know..this is a dream isn't it..?"

The blonde then softly returned the uncertain gaze. "Maybe it is...does that mean we should stop?"

Maybe her dream was trying to tell her something. She cherished and cared for Helga. She did on a profound level. Had that eventually evolved to something more? And if not, could it have? Of course we were the masters of our own choices. But was her heart pushing her down a path that she had not previously seen before?

Her mind was constantly filled with logic and sensibility, but when these rooted emotions arose, were these the impassioned waves that came crashing to the shore of her imagination? She rarely had any vivid dreams, or dreams that seemed real. Simple things like pleasant memories or uncomfortably not knowing the answer to a question in a manifested dream class. Sometimes even….recollections of her brutal accident, but this was nothing like that, in fact it was the complete opposite.

She again got lost into those abyssal cobalt colored eyes, and pondered the sensible solution. But then again, a part of her didn't want to. She shook her head and let out a heated breath. " _Fuck no."_ And pressed their lips firmly again.

Their chests pressed together as Helga raked her fingers up Phoebe's back, clinging onto the soft skin over her shoulder blades. Their hearts pounding in sync.

Maybe she had felt this way about Helga all along, disguising it's something else, something platonic because she felt like that's what she should have done. The rivers of her hormonal appetites had been unleashed, infecting her blood with passion and eagerness.

She didn't have many friends in Kentucky, she mostly studied her school books and helped out around the farm, giving her quite a sheltered upbringing at least from the dating variety. She didn't even think about boys much really, but she did think about Helga. Sending a letter every other month even though she got none in return. It didn't stop her from reaching out, she had hope then, and now she had her, all of Helga. That longing now at the forefront of her mind made it clear that it had turned into desire.

The blonde's long legs wrapped around Phoebe's waist, and even though both of their mouths were restless, the shorter girl's lips parted for the moment and rounded up Helga's jawline, ending at her ear.

Even though this was her dream, she still felt a little unsure, still concerned about the consent of her dream partner, not wanting to disappoint or offend, she whispered shakily. " _W-What should we do?"_

She could feel their hips brushing against each other, the warmth of their lower abdomens made her quiver slightly.

Helga calmly grinned and Phoebe could feel the girl's cheeks lift on the side of her face. " _Whatever you want. We can lie here. We can hold each other. We can make out some more...we can even do other things…"_ Her smile faded. " _But I'm sorry I don't think we have much time."_

The grief within her flooded to her conscious as she quickly deliberated. Her grandfather's recent death still at the forefront of her mind, the abiding pain of her car accident that she dealt with on a daily basis; she knew life was so short, and as the impulse and fervor continued to race through her veins, she finally came to a conclusion. " _I want-...I..._ _ **need**_ _to kiss every inch of you. Would you be comfortable with that?"_

The volume of their voices withering as intimacy grew between them.

" _Of course."_

Phoebe then nervously trailed her lips down to the girl's strong neck, her extending collar bone, her broad shoulders. Planting tender kisses down her slender biceps to her knobby elbows and bony fingers.

She then drifted to her companion's modest chest, her lean stomach, down her strapping thighs and toned calf muscles. She could sense all the ache and strain radiating through those sapphire eyes when she met them with her own. She could sense it through her partner's tough and sturdy physique when her lips brushed appreciatively against the skin.

Through these kisses, she could empathize. What would she have wanted done to her body? With all those scars and insecurities and ugliness. She would want to know that she was still wanted, still desired; that she wasn't damaged goods.

Helga glanced down curiously and snorted amused. "You're not seriously going to kiss my feet are you?" She asked as she playfully wiggled her toes.

Phoebe then raised her head from Helga's ankles and grinned impishly. "This is my dream, isn't it?" She started tickling the blonde's feet.

"Haha! Okay, sorry, sorry. Your dream." She casually placed her arms behind her head again. "Satisfied?"

Phoebe shook head as she ran her fingers through her black hair, pushing the loose locks to the side and away from her face, then gently placed her palms against Helga's inner thighs, slowly widening the gap between them. "Oh, my dear, not even close."

Helga inquisitively raised an eyebrow as Phoebe lowered herself between the girl's legs and onto her stomach, her arms moving under the blonde's hamstrings in support, her fingers curling over her quadriceps. She then closed her enticed hazel eyes and brought her mouth to the next thing she wanted to kiss.

Maybe she was being a little forward, but she was pretty sure people liked this sort of thing, even if she hadn't had any prior partners. Even she masturbated now and then, most of the time it being unsatisfying and frustrating, but this time she would try not to disappoint.

Guess it didn't really matter if she was doing anything right or wrong, or the fact that she had no former experience. This was her dream; people could fly in dreams, they could also fall and stop time before they hit the ground. Anything was possible, and whatever she was doing was initiating a positive response.

Phoebe mustered the courage to glance up for a moment, noticing a deep blush creep upon Helga's cheeks as the heat intensified within her body. Her eyes closed tightly as she was momentarily quiet. Her chest heavily rising and falling.

Maybe she learned something through a romantic novel or a movie that had lingered within her brain, creeping out within her subconscious. Giving her mouth fluid movement over the more sensitive parts of her partner's physique. Maybe it was the buried hormones and instincts that guided her. She wanted to analyze these notions more, but her mind started to turn, her fantasies concocting an arousing smell that intoxicated her conscious.

She wanted to be rid of the pain that she carried everyday. The weight of her injury, burdening her lower back, her neck, as if she were trudging through life chained to a giant boulder. She currently didn't feel any agony, and she also felt no worry to disappoint anybody, or fear if they would get caught. It was just the two of them in this little imaginative space.

Helga's hands then ventured down and found the loose locks of Phoebe's dark hair, her scalp; the blonde's fingers curling to cling onto the purple and blue tresses, her nails lightly scratching the surface, her breath finally escaping her in a pleasured fashion.

Phoebe's grip on her companion's thighs tightened and she pulled her mouth closer, flattening her tongue and licking up the girl's swelling folds and ripples. Sucking here and there on her tender skin. The aroma made her crave more, eventually letting go of Helga's right thigh to run her two fingers over the delicate genitalia, gathering bodily juices as she tickled down the receptive creases and grooves and into the girl's ample opening.

Maybe it was instinctual, some sort of biological imprint, drawn from the beginning of woman and man; the tranquilizing feeling of her lover surrounding her, even a simple part like her fingers, was more than emotionally enough and felt like home.

Who was she to deny anything that might remotely made her feel good when she would probably suffer with these degrading bodily conditions for the rest of her life?

Maybe it was a flower of love that stemmed down inside her, coiling and rooting within her being. She felt the sentiments bursting within, as if she needed to plant kisses upon Helga's form for the rest of eternity. She wasn't used to any sort of urge, except when it related to pain and her injury.

The same thing that drove her to cast away the torment with liquid courage, must've been the same thing that drove her to do what she did in her dream. It was a need. A sense of giving that overwhelmed her mind with burning energy. She wanted to give, and then give some more.

Tears threatened behind her hazel eyes as she firmly closed them and rested her mouth back upon the blonde's bundle of nerves.

Helga began to vocally become louder, the lustful noise entering both their ears. As she let go of Phoebe's hair, she placed her palm upon the shorter girl's left hand; their fingers found each other, became interlaced, then squeezed tight.

The taller girl's hips caved upward for a moment, two moments, three moments. Many more moments. She then exhaled heavily. Panting as she muttered. " _Okay...okay…"_ She let out a soft chuckle. "Oh….I think I'm going to be good for a while…" The volume of her breaths continued to be audible as she gazed into the ceiling of the tent, her facial features euphoric, her body sedated.

Phoebe slowly pulled out of her now content lover, and moved her mouth away, peering up at the blonde for next instruction. But as Helga groggily leaned upon her elbows and their eyes met once again, she was able to witness the aftermath of her adoring actions.

Helga's cheeks were entirely flushed; her ribs protruded and expanded underneath the succulent skin with each inhale; tiny beads of sweat appeared upon her upper brow and her long golden hair had fallen to the side of her face, barely covering one eye.

Phoebe assumed everyone had their own shell, pieces chipped off here and there from assorted pain, unrequited affections, rejection, loss; watching as parts of themselves fell down below, frantically attempting to fix or glue back what was lost, trying to become whole again, as if we're actually born whole.

And then there were moments like this; colliding into someone else, the fractured shell falling into their cracks and crevices, their gaping holes, mixing together, becoming apart of one another, and even though you are both splintered, you don't feel broken. You feel whole.

The tears that threatened behind her eyes finally broke through, and the droplets ran down her cheeks. Her hazel eyes becoming puffy as she let out an inaudible gasp.

Even though she was gradually recovering from the pleasure that flowed throughout her body, Helga immediately noticed her partner's altered disposition. "Hey." She said as she awkwardly shuffled to her knees and came close to Phoebe, taking the girl's shorter form into her embrace.

Phoebe nuzzled the side of her head into the taller girl's chest; It all felt so real, but then again she knew it wasn't. She could even hear the delicate beat of the girl's enamored heart. She then felt a pair of slender fingers tussle her hair affectionately.

" _I love you."_

Her bottom lip curled and the droplets streamed even more from her eyes.

Helga looked down and placed a couple strands of hair behind her companion's ear so she could wipe the tears away. " _Babe, What's wrong? You did great down there, believe me. A little too great."_ She winced and subtly adjusted her thighs.

Phoebe gazed back up into Helga's face and managed to find her voice amongst drowning in the warmth and elation. " _Sometimes...the feelings are so overwhelming...I just need to cry about it."_ Her tone was breathless. " _...you utterly unravel me."_ She confessed as a faint sob left her lips.

" _Hey, you're okay."_ Helga consoled as she held the girl close and soothed her hair again with her fingers. " _Do what you need to do. I'm right here."_ She rested the side of her cheek atop of Phoebe's head reassuringly.

As the shorter girl listened to the manifested heart beat again, she started to feel it, her body's arousal from her slumber. Her eyelids twitching, her breathing becoming shallow as her brain drifted farther and farther away from REM sleep.

Whispers lingering from Helga's voice as she awoke. " _You are an oasis in the barren desert of my soul. You have left a footprint that the sands can not wash away."_

_**XOXOX** _

Phoebe's puffy hazel eyes opened as she fell back into the reality that was her room.

She quickly looked over to the side of her mattress, as if somehow the power and intensity of her dream could've willed Helga magically into her bed.

All the ecstasy she had once felt now turned desolate as she laid in her bed and stared at the ceiling of her room. Her eyes eventually finding the alarm clock, almost six thirty.

She was speechless, logic immediately bounced off of her brain as the pain from her body returned. She tiredly sat up in bed as a tear fell from the corner of her eye; drinking before school was not an option.

' _Just let it out, then pick yourself up.'_

_**XOXOX** _

After she had awoken from her coma, barely able to move, she figured she must've survived for a reason. And now that fate had thrown another pebble into her waters, was that for a reason as well? She didn't try to believe too much in a higher power or miracles, but her father quite often quoted the ancient buddhist monk, Hongzhi, who once said, 'The self divides into ten billion distinct illuminating spirits, distinguish these without falling into names and classifications.'

She was still a bit disheartened by waking up from her fantasy as she applied the dark makeup around her eyes, concealer over her scars and ribbons around her forearms. But then another thought entered her head, maybe she would see Helga today. And that brought some pep back into her disposition. But she also knew that these current feelings of infatuation were hers to harbor. She hadn't yet decided if she would act upon them, as Helga's friendship was more important than some...dream or her own desires.

Phoebe sighed as she took one last look in the mirror, frowned at her reflection and left the bathroom, collecting her knapsack and shoes near the entryway before she left the house. As she went to turn the knob and leave the residence, she noticed the sticky note on the door. It was handwritten by her mother.

_Lemon Squeeze!_

_Don't forget, grocery shopping after school! Have a wonderful first day!_

_Love you, Sug!_

She smiled to herself and left the home, skipping the bus as Hillwood High was only a couple blocks east to where she lived.

Her bustling thoughts kept her busy as she walked, eventually reaching the front of the large school; a bunch of teenagers hanging out and around the stairs to the entrance of the building. She mostly kept to herself, however waved here and there to former classmates as they noticed her, taking in deep breaths to keep herself calm.

As she made her way up the long staircase, she noticed the couple in her peripheral vision. A boy and a girl sat on the steps as they sucked each others faces off, uncaring to anyone that witnessed. Her thoughts flurried amorously, yet she merely blushed and kept walking, entered the institution and stopped by the front office to get her agenda for the day.

Phoebe continued to look out for Helga as she found her assigned locker, placing her lunch and assorted notebooks in the container. As she closed the metal cubby and locked it, it was then that she spotted the blonde within the mess of students down the hall. Helga's pace was swift, her eyes pointed towards her feet as she walked, clearly not wanting to make any eye contact with her classmates.

The shorter girl's heart leapt in her chest, but she couldn't do anything about it as the bell rang, and she headed to her first class.

_**XOXOX** _

Her first period had gone well. Sitting in class, she took notes and participated. Discussions about the upcoming school year, about new material and topics they would be studying. But now and again images would flutter to the forefront of her mind. The sounds and smells that her brain had generated last night.

If a part of her had truly awakened, wasn't it up to her to be prepared for what was to come? Wasn't it up to her to explore these notions, or at least maybe find similar stories from others? Maybe she could figure out what was going on within her mind, as she was a very analytical person. She wanted to research all the things that were itching at her imagination.

When second period started, she mingled over to the library, found a row of computers, and decided to do an inquiry of her own. She looked around, making sure no one was too close when she turned on the machine, the boxy monitor humming faintly as the screen warmed up and turned on. Once she was able to access the internet she started typing rather...suggestive terms into the search engine.

She was mostly curious and well, being a sponge to knowledge, she browsed the different websites, glanced over pictures, and jotted down annotations on her notebook.

Some of the topics that arose made her blush slightly, remembering various parts of her dream, but some were also genuinely interesting.

She was reading an article about the greek poet Sappho when a voice interrupted her tunnel vision. "Hey, Phoebe."

The dark haired girl glanced up at the bystander and then rapidly exited out the windows on the computer. "Um, H-Hey, Arnold." She muttered quickly, her bashfulness appeared upon her cheeks as she adjusted and closed her binder on the table, obscuring her notes from view.

The boy snickered a little and sat down at the computer station next to her, his voice lowered. " _Were you looking at porn? I mean, it's okay if you were, sometimes I use the computers to play video games."_

Phoebe chuckled nervously for the moment, a bead of sweat upon her brow as she shook her head. "Oh, no. No, no, I was um...starting a project for one of my courses, it's in women's health. I was just reviewing...the um..." Blood pulsed through her cheeks as she cleared her throat awkwardly. " _Skene's gland._ "

Arnold naively shrugged. "Oh! Alright then."

The girl sighed audibly as she collected herself. "Was there something you needed?" She didn't mind Arnold, and had much more of a tolerance for him than Helga, but the boy did tend to loiter.

"Oh, right! I was wondering if you thought of joining any clubs yet?"

Her hands calmly fell into her lap and she shook her head lightly. "Everything has been...a bit staggering. I've endured a rural life for so long I need to...paddle before I swim."

The optimistic boy took out a flier from his arms and grinned. "Well I'm starting an art club. It's pretty much going to be a cool spot where people can hang out and give helpful advice. If you ever want to get acquainted with your peers in a low-key environment…" He then thought aloud. "There might even be some meditation or yoga involved. I haven't decided yet."

Phoebe kindly accepted the flier. "Thank you, Arnold, I'll ponder it." She then noticed out of the corner of her eye, a female figure that had entered the library. Her internals swelled as the blonde girl rubbed her forearm and uneasily bit her bottom lip as she made her way down the hall, eventually finding a table near the corner of the large space. Her long golden hair mostly shielding her anxiety and facial features from view.

Arnold followed Phoebe's gaze and his face beamed. "I'll talk to ya later." He said as he got up from the seat and walked across the hallway of the library to speak to the blonde girl. Phoebe sulked in her chair and cautiously peeked around her monitor to the table where Helga sat at, smiling slightly at Helga's shocked demeanor when the football headed boy approached her.

_**XOXOX** _

The last bell rang and all the students rushed out of the building. Most piled onto the bus but the others flooded the sidewalks and football field as they made their way home.

As she exited the school, she browsed around, swearing she just saw Helga leave as well. It was then that she noticed the combination of yellow hair and pink clothing against the freshly cut grass of the field. She inhaled a breath of courage and calmed herself, lightly combing her hair with her fingers as she gave herself an internal pep talk, making her way over to the blonde. Maybe talking to Helga would help her figure out her feelings better.

As she neared behind the taller girl, her eyes were captivated yet again by lean muscle mass and bone; shoulder blades that faintly protruded through the soft salmon colored shirt. "Long day?" she asked politely.

Helga turned around and became rather surprised, a blush bloomed upon her cheeks as she gulped before greeting clumsily. "Hey..erm...Hello. Howdyado."

Phoebe met the taller girl's pace and giggled. Her knapsack heavy with all her books and notes. "So It has been long. I wasn't able to catch up with you today. I was a little disappointed. Thought maybe...you were avoiding me."

"What!?" Helga responded exaggeratingly. "No! No of course not! Just um...Just...really busy…" She fumbled as she pulled out Arnold's flier from her notebook. "Just so...many options for...extracurriculars this year."

The shorter girl's face scrunched in confusion. "You're interested in Arnold's club? From what you declared about him the other day, I'm surprised you even allowed him to converse with you."

"Yeah..I um...really thought about what you said about the whole, only having one life to live...kinda thing...you know...figured it might be...cool. And it won't just be Arnoldo there, probably some other people too."

Phoebe simply shrugged. "I actually considered joining. My paintings recently have been...mediocre, at least from my perspective. Constructive criticism might be healthy to my artistic advantage." She lightly nudged Helga's arm. "And it would be a bonus if you decided to join. But I understand if that would leave you in an uncomfortable situation."

She thought aloud and browsed her feet as she walked, the side of her lip curling upward as she attempted to arrange a future meetup between the two of them. Maybe Helga just needed someone to approach her about the situation. Maybe Helga also wanted to get together but felt too uncomfortable to ask? "Maybe this year we could...study together sometime...I could prepare a meal for you again?" She quaintly suggested. "Of course, when you would have free time with all the extracurricular activities."

"Oh yeah, I mean, it's mildly extra." The blonde swiftly stated. She gawkily reassured her friend. "I'll still have a whole bunch of time for things...and um...eating and studying. Yeah I'll have loads of time for that."

The dark haired girl smiled to herself, looking up at Helga's appealing profile against the setting sun. "You know...I can actually brine and season a decent pastrami if you're interested."

"Oh, I'm totally interested in tasting your meat….Er, I mean, heh, uh…"

The feelings in the pit of her stomach twirled again. "It's okay, I know what you mean."

The blonde abruptly stopped walking in the middle of the large field. Phoebe's route paused and she noticed her friend's composure shift. "Something wrong?" she asked.

It was then that something spinning through the air came down and collided into the side of Helga's face. Her feet lifted off of the ground as her body tumbled shortly after; her glasses flying a couple feet away.

"Oh my- Helga!" Phoebe yelled as she immediately dropped to her knees and pulled the girl's limp form into her arms. The two boys on the field ran over, well, Arnold sprinted and Curly power walked.

"Oh my God! Helga! Is she okay?" He exclaimed as he also dropped to his knees to examine the damage he had unintentionally caused.

The shorter girl brushed dirt and blades of grass off of Helga's face, relieved that her companion's chest moved up and down. "She's breathing, although she's unconscious." The taller girl's mouth was parted a bit. "From what I can see, she might have an impairment to her incisor."

Helga mumbled something which was a good sign, maybe she was dreaming? Phoebe was definitely hoping it was a temporary concussion, the reminder of her coma brought back too many bad memories, and she would do whatever she had to to let this not be a case of long term.

Arnold's disposition was frantic as his fingers ran through his unruly blonde hair. "What should we do?"

When Curly finally arrived by the two, his hands fell onto his hips, and he clicked his tongue. "Nice going Arnold, you're worse than Eugene." He snapped sarcastically.

The football headed boy ignored that comment for the moment.

Phoebe responded rather sharply to a distraught Arnold. "If she doesn't awaken in the next two minutes I'm rushing her to the nearest hospital. Can you search for her glasses, please?" She then turned back to her comatose partner. Maybe if she hadn't spoken to Helga this never would have happened, but it did happen and now she would have to accept what was to come.

As Arnold stood up to hunt for Helga's mangled glasses, Phoebe swept aside some of the stray locks that clung to the blonde girl's face, revealing her slumbering features. Helga breathed in and out deeply, and the shorter girl smiled as she subtly admired her faint freckles and even miniscule things like her blonde eyelashes and chapped lips.

Within a couple more moments, her blue eyes opened and she gasped loudly, her large pupils adjusting to the bright sunlight. Similar from her fantasy, Phoebe found herself diving into those abyssal seas as they overflowed and water fell from Helga's panicked and scared eyes.

"Helga?" she asked apprehensively, and the taller girl looked in her direction, which was a good sign. Hopefully no memory loss.

Phoebe moved her fingers to Helga's bruised cheek, caressing the tears away. A burning sensation burrowed behind her chest again and she welcomed the blistering emotions. She could still be close to Helga, she could still attempt to be a part of her life, even if her feelings were unrequited. She could still be selfless in their delicate friendship, and she decided she would be there no matter what.

Their tender eyes met and the blonde stared at her. Not like how she usually stared at the world, with guarded eyes and a hollow expression, but she looked vulnerable, open. As if both their gazes held the same longing.

_**XOXOX** _

After the dentist's office she found the nearest payphone and called her mother, reassuring her she would be at D'Amato's Grocery in a couple minutes to help her shop. She stood in front of the entrance as the woman parked the car and walked up to the automatic doors.

Reba had her long curly hair up in a ponytail and her purse over her shoulder as she approached her daughter and greeted warmly. "Hey, everything okay, lemon squeeze?"

"Yeah, everything is...fine." Phoebe retorted hesitantly as they quickly hugged and grabbed a basket, walking into the establishment.

"How was your first day back at school?" The mother casually asked as she pulled her list out from her purse and scanned it over. "Let's head to the baking aisle first, I want to grab a couple things."

The shorter girl walked alongside the woman as she gave her the simplified run down. She wasn't good at keeping information from her mother, as they usually told eachother everything. "There's so many new faces, and the academics are pretty straightforward so far. Seems like a promising year."

"Aww, well I'm really happy it went smoothly for ya." She said as they made their way down the grocery aisle, grabbing a pound of flour and placing it in the basket.

Phoebe also took a bottle of cinnamon off the shelf when she paused. Her guilt and secrets finally catching up with her, making her feel sour. She spoke rather reluctantly. "...Mother?"

"Yes, Phoebe?" Reba asked as the dark haired teenager calmly set the spice next to the flour in the basket.

She wasn't sure how to say it. So she asked a simple question. "Would you still love me even though my choices...might not always be what's expected of me?"

Reba grinned a little perplexed and placed her hand upon her hip, "Phoebe, I would love you even if you stole a cop cruiser and were a wanted woman on the run. Who's going to smuggle you in a shiv when you're caught and in prison? I know how rough the slammer can get; I want you to be able to protect yourself."

Phoebe rolled her eyes but a small smile found its way upon her lips. She nudged the taller woman on the arm as they walked over to the next aisle. "That's a little vivid, Mother."

"Well, I'm just letting you know the extent of how much I love and care for you. What do I always tell you?"

Phoebe bit her lip slightly as she let out a tiny snort. "Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining?"

Reba eyed her daughter and playfully pinched her. "No, smart ass, the other thing."

The girl let out a chuckle. Her comfortable demeanor returning. "To the moon and back."

After their accident and her mother had recuperated with minor injuries, the woman was at the hospital everyday for her daughter while she recovered and even after that.

Phoebe had been shy growing up and Reba wanted to give her her own space to grow and learn, but maybe throughout that time they were missing out on something important, a closer bond that she should have imposed more into.

And Phoebe was just happy her mother was alive. The pain was worth every second they now had to share together. The shorter girl felt cheerful as her eyes glanced over, spotting the pink camellias as they passed the floral department. She stepped away from her mother for the moment to bend over and smell the arrangement.

Reba raised her brow and smirked as she attempted to cross her arms while still holding the basket. "Now you gonna tell me what really happened at school today?"

Phoebe exhaled glumly as she stood up straight again and turned to confess, "Helga was...injured, we hurried her to the dentist's office."

The mother's features instantly became alarmed. "Is everything okay? Where's she now?"

"Mother, it's been handled."

Reba sighed and took in a deep breath, her palm falling back onto her hip. "Sometimes I forget how grown up and responsible you are, well, I don't necessarily forget, I just have a tendency to be overprotective. I don't mean to shadow your intuition."

"Thanks, Mom."

"I was young once, I know how things go. You teens have your own system, your own rules." She stated as they continued to walk over into the produce section, and Phoebe glimpsed back at the floral arrangement.

She recollected the first time she spoke to her mother about dying her hair or getting piercings. It was her fourteenth birthday and she had just gotten her nose pierced. Deciding she wanted blue and purple highlights in her hair, she and her mother stopped in at the local beautician and picked up the materials on that windy Kentucky day.

A young Phoebe sat in a chair in her grandparents kitchen as Reba put on a pair of rubber gloves and mixed the dye together, layering a lock of hair then wrapping aluminum foil around it.

Her grandfather hobbled by with his cane in the hallway, stopping by before he went outside to sit on the porch. Reba grinned as she brushed in the sticky dye. "Look, Dad, isn't it pretty?"

"Mhm." He mumbled as he shuffled the tobacco under his inner lip. "Now I know what I gotta do until I'm knocking on death's door. Sit outside with my twelve gauge and keep the clowns away from my beautiful granddaughter."

Phoebe blushed but smiled slightly, her grandfather always made her feel pretty even when she didn't believe it. The auburn haired woman shook her head as she continued to apply the colored chemicals. "Oh, Dad."

"Hey, it didn't keep Kyo away, and he's an honest hard working fellah. It separates the boys from the men." He chided jauntily.

Phoebe giggled to herself as the man then shuffled to the front door of the older detached home. "Now I know where you get your overprotectiveness from."

"Hey, you're looking in a mirror to the future, little lady."

"Not a bad quality to have." She paused as her mother took another lock of her hair and applied the dye. "Can you tell me the story of how you and dad met again?"

Reba smirked a little. Goop now all over her gloves. "What? You've heard that story a hundred times already."

"I know, I just enjoy it."

The woman sighed. "The tale of how a hippie from Kentucky and a Berkley graduate got together under the heat of a San Francisco summer?" She let out a chortle and half-smiled. "Maybe later tonight when I'm tucking you in. I'm almost done here."

"Promise?" Phoebe asked as she then held out her pinky finger.

Reba playfully rolled her eyes and reciprocated the gesture with her pinky finger. "Yes, my stubborn child, now you got forty five minutes before you can wash that out..." She tossed the gloves into the trash and crossed her arms, her disposition becoming rather solemn. "Would you mind giving your grandfather some company? He seems a little...under the weather lately."

"I don't mind at all." The younger girl responded as she headed for the porch.

She exited the home and sat outside with her grandfather in her grandmother's rocking chair; the older woman had passed away just last year. He chewed tobacco and spit into the spittoon near his vigil. "Looks like the wind's picking up." He muttered as she rocked alongside him.

"The weatherman said it would range from thirty to thirty five miles per hour."

"Well I still don't trust it. You still have that key to the cellar I gave you?"

She kept it tied over her arm with one of her grandmother's violet ribbons, in case she needed it at a moment's notice. "Yes, Pappy."

He then peered back towards the screen door, looking out for Reba. He smiled at her and winked, handing her the flask he kept in his shirt pocket. "You can have a little sip, just don't tell your mom."

Her grandfather had bad arthritis, so he must've known some of the ache she was going through with her injuries, she indulged lightly with him. Getting a little fuzzy as they would watch the scenery together, her discomfort fading as they rocked in their chairs and casually talked here and there.

SImilar with her own father, they didn't speak much, but they had a bond of love. She knew her father loved her and wanted the best for their family. Working overtime to help support his extended relatives, even though Reba's Dad claimed he had millions buried somewhere in the acres of land they owned.

_**XOXOX** _

Before they left the grocery store, Phoebe mentioned to her mother that she would've liked to buy the flowers for Helga, as a get-well present so to speak.

As they drove over to the Pataki condo, she let out a nervous breath, the groceries in the back of the car, the bouquet of flowers now in her clammy hands. Unsure of how her mother might take the confidential thoughts of her mind when she told her.

Her...scandalous fantasies. She didn't want to disappoint her mother, but then again she thought back to a point in time when she was all casted up in that hospital bed, barely able to move let alone feed herself or get herself to the bathroom, and Reba was there then. She made an oath to be honest with the woman that spent every second to nurture her back to health.

Phoebe gazed out the car window as they drove by the townhomes, she spoke quietly. "Mother...what if I don't end up marrying a Berkley graduate?" Even through all the encouragement she received from her mother on a daily basis, she still had her silly insecurities.

Reba glanced over to her only child yet kept her eyes mostly on the road. "Honey, this ain't the eighties anymore. I don't want you to end up marrying a Berkley graduate, I want _**you**_ to be the Berkley graduate. I mean, if that's ever something you want to do." She smiled pleasantly and reassuringly.

Phoebe felt hopeful as they pulled up to the curb. "That's all I needed to hear." And pecked her mother on the cheek. The girl exited the vehicle and walked up the stoop, knocking on the door of the Pataki residence. After a couple moments, Olga answered with a glass of wine in her hand.

The shorter girl spoke in a charming and coy manner. "Hello again, Olga, is Helga home?"

The older sister shook her head. Phoebe could tell she was a little tipsy already. "Oh hello, Phoebe! Hmmm, Helga hasn't come home yet, but it is so nice to see you! Goodness, who are those flowers for?"

The dark haired girl bit her tongue, not wanting to reveal or startle Olga from her cozy and comfortable evening. She lied, which is something she didn't do often. She figured the sisters could have this discussion when Helga returned home. "They're actually from a...secret admirer. This person was too tentative to drop the flowers off themselves, so I offered to deliver them."

"Well, isn't that sweet! Helga's never mentioned any endowments from secret admirers. I wonder what the card says." She murmured as she leaned forward.

Phoebe swiftly shuffled the lovely arrangement behind her back. "Now, Olga, you wouldn't want to tamper with a romantic gesture would you?"

Olga chuckled to herself but hiccuped at the same time, she shyly cleared her throat. "Sorry, Phoebe, you're right. Well, if you want you can drop them off in her room. I'm sure she'll find them shortly after she arrives home." The older sister grinned amicably.

"Thank you." Phoebe responded politely as she entered the condo and walked up the stairs to Helga's room, then laid the bouquet of enchanting flowers gently down upon the bed.

She paused before leaving, her fingers twiddling together as she innocently viewed the small space. The room was slightly messy, similar to what she remembered beforehand. Noticing posters of bands, art and several books scattered aimlessly amongst the room. And then she giggled slightly at the sight of Bob's huge TV across from Helga's bed.

She also noticed the faint familiar fragrant wafting and bouncing off of the walls. It smelled good.

Her desires crept upon her again, being so close to the aroma and fabrics that Helga touched and wore on a daily basis. She decided it would be best if she left, before her passions made her attempt something else.

_**XOXOX** _

After their family dinner, Phoebe headed up to her room and changed into some pajamas, similar to what she always wore, a simple kimono and grey shorts. She went to the bathroom and wiped off her makeup; usually lighting sandalwood incense with a couple candles as she did her homework on the mattress in her room. Sometimes she would play music from her radio, but tonight she basked in the silence along with her thoughts. A subtle sigh here and there as she pulled the notes and books from her knapsack and started.

Other times she would even sip a little on the alcohol that she kept hidden in her closet. It was the only thing that she kept a secret from her mother, well, maybe now the second thing. It was a memory she shared with her grandfather, and she planned on keeping it that way.

The cordless phone rang atop of her desk. She had forgotten she brought the phone into her room the day before when she spoke to Sheena about the materials they would need for the new year.

Her parents probably wouldn't pick it up as they were watching a movie in the living room. She stood up from her bed and walked over to the desk, curiously answering the phone as it was almost nine.

When she heard Helga's voice, her enkindled notions flickered back to the forefront of her mind. " _Hey, I just got home."_

"Oh." She hesitated for the moment, trying to find a sensible sentence upon her tongue. "I'm glad you're safe."

" _May I come over?"_

"...Sure, of course."

" _Okay, I won't be long."_

The call ended and she quietly set down the cordless phone. Taking in a deep breath and collecting her jitters. Really considering taking that drink of alcohol right about now.


	7. Ink

_**~2000~** _

She felt proud of herself. Even though she had been in this room many times before, and even though Dr. Bliss still had the same Edward Hopper 'Summertime' painting on the wall, along with the rest of the furniture from 1996, the space felt different today. The air blowing from the vents felt fresh, cleaner. Helga took in a deep breath, but it felt kind and a sigh did not follow after it.

"So all the diaries are gone?" Bliss asked quaintly as she sipped from her mug of steaming tea; her clipboard residing in her lap as it had many times before.

"Yup, I feel free as a bird." The girl responded, a beaming smile graced her mouth and her cheeks lifted. She had to admit it was quite a feat. She never imagined she would be able do that a couple years ago, not to mention her nightmares had also subsided in the past couple months.

"I'm impressed, Helga."

"I even got Patty to help me pitch that grizzly bear likeness of Arnold that was hanging out in my attic." She said with a smirk and crossed her arms rather boldly.

Bliss' eyes widened as if the next sip from her drink was hot, but she was more surprised at how such a young girl managed to remove an eight foot bear from an attic. She also pondered the fact how Helga was able to lug it up there in the first place. "How were you able to do that?"

The blonde's eyebrows bounced confidently. "I own a chainsaw."

The older woman let out a humored breath. "Well, I'm very proud of you. You've come a long way from our first session all those years ago." She commented as she set down her mug onto the stand next to her chair and jotted down some notes onto her clipboard.

"Yeah, yeah, now I'm no longer a pathetic sap." Helga stated satisfied and glanced out the window of the office. The sun's rays shone through the blue sky and sparse clouds, and she actually felt like it was an idyllic day to be outside. Maybe skip a couple stones through the lake in City Park.

"You know, Helga, over the past six years we've talked a lot about Arnold, about your parents and about Olga, but there is one more thing I'd like to discuss."

The young blonde felt great and she was pretty sure there was nothing that could ruin her positive disposition. "What's on your mind, Doc?"

"What about Phoebe?" The doctor asked nonchalantly.

Well, except maybe that. The girl hesitated. Rather pleased with herself just moments before, she now felt a shiver of guilt clench at her spine, her arms slowly dropped and her hands fell to the tops of her thighs. "What about her?" She asked apprehensively.

"You never mention or talk about her. Are you two conversing long distance?"

She bit her tongue before responding. "No."

"Why not?" Bliss asked simply again.

"It's just…" She let out a disgruntled sigh. "...not really a good time to talk about it." She wasn't sure why she didn't talk to her therapist about Phoebe. She thought that all these years, all these problems building up, were just an accumulation of her family and Arnold. What would Phoebe have to do with any of that? Phoebe was a bright spot in all the darkness that flooded her young life. She thought this therapy crap was only talking about the bad stuff that happened to you, why did the good matter? But then again, why was it so hard to answer Bliss' simple questions about her long lost friend? Why did she feel a twinge of pain in her heart when Phoebe's name arose in conversation?

"Then when would be a good time?" She asked as she picked up her lonely mug from the stand. "Helga, we only have a couple sessions left until you're off to high school. And while I have seen tremendous progress with you, it is still my job to help and aid you until we finish these sessions. So, if there is something that's troubling you, I think you should try and get it off your chest." She stated and took a sip as Helga remained quiet with her troubled thoughts.

There was silence in the room for a couple moments before the older woman calmly mentioned again. "A while ago, you thought confessing your love about Arnold would be a tough thing to do, but you survived that. You got through it."

"That's because those notions were childish, frivolous, fantasies." The girl finally responded with a bad taste in her mouth. "Like you said he was just an _idea_ to me."

"And what is this?"

Helga exhaled and attempted to find the right word. "It's.." She swallowed roughly. "...regret...I think."

"How so?" Bliss asked as she set her mug down again, and started writing onto her clipboard with her pen.

"I don't know, okay? It's a mixed bag. I don't write to her and I don't know why. I mean I write letters, but I never send them. Maybe I just think she's better off without me... _staining her life_." She ended harshly.

"Staining? That's a very specific word."

"It's like...she's the white pages, so clean, so pure, and I'm the black ink in the bottle. Contained for now, but then even if one drop gets spilled, I just bleed, everywhere. And make a mess." The blonde closed her eyes tightly and muffled an uncomfortable groan. "I made a mess. I said some stupid stuff. A lot of careless things. And not just the last time we spoke. It was always. Always treating her poorly; constantly addressing her like a subordinate. I should've appreciated that friendship more. I was just...perpetually barraged by my awful parents, by my impeccable sister, by perfect Arnold, and she was there, to take the brunt of it all."

The therapist tapped her pen onto the surface of the board as she thoroughly pondered an encouraging response. "Helga, what is a piece of paper if the ink quill never touches it? What is a canvas if the paint brush never caresses it?"

The girl moved her fingers to her eyelids under her large glasses, massaging them. If this was another one of Bliss' ever so illuminating figurative questions that made her think too much, she really wasn't in the mood. "I don't know."

"It's just a piece of paper. It's just a canvas. There would be no poetry, no art. How interesting would it be to go to an Art Museum and just see blank canvases?"

Helga dropped her hands and squeezed them between her thighs to keep them warm. She huffed out and stared into the corner of the room. "Probably 'not very'."

The older woman realized she might have come off a little monotonous to her younger client. She sighed. "Helga, What I am trying to say is, we've all done things when we were younger that we've learned from. We all make mistakes, and that's what art and poetry is. Don't you think she has forgiveness and understanding for that?"

She understood Bliss' point, but she still wasn't having it. "Even if she does, I don't. I don't deserve her kindness. I'm not some greedy sociopath that just takes. She deserves better. I treated her like garbage."

"So you don't forgive yourself?"

Helga crossed her arms irritably, rather tired of this conversation. "Nope."

The doctor set down her pen and placed one hand atop the other on her clipboard. Her body posture shifting in her seat. "Hmm...That sounds very exhausting."

She didn't want to cry, not today, after she felt so awesome. But of course, that was asking too much. Tears welled under her angry sapphire eyes, sparkling with rage. "Through all the blinding hatred I harbor for myself, I sometimes think of all the ways; if I could just do it over."

The older woman's tone softened. When Helga was younger, Bliss would usually stand up and sit next to the young girl, offering a shoulder to weep on, but today, however, she wanted to wait. Maybe Helga could figure out this issue on her own, and that's ultimately what the therapist wanted. "How would you redo it?"

The blonde sniffled and rubbed her drippy nose as the bitter tears dropped from her fair colored lashes. "Spend more time with her...stick up for her more. Do all the things she wants to do even if I don't really want to do 'em."

Bliss grinned earnestly and her eyes reflected this. "I think that's very sweet. You don't seem like a bad person to me. Do you think maybe that's where this _demon_ is coming from; the one in your dreams? All this hatred you hold for yourself?"

"You're the doctor." Helga responded rather glumly.

The older woman set her clipboard aside onto the stand next to her tea and stood up, walking over and calmly sitting next to her client on the couch. She crossed her legs and leaned forward to rest her forearms onto her thighs, reaching Helga's eye level. "I think one day you're going to have to forgive yourself. And talk with her, tell her your feelings. Be honest with her."

The blonde looked up at her therapist with puffy blue eyes. A wavering scowl on her mouth as her bottom lip threatened to pucker out. "Yeah? And what if she rejects me? What if she is angry? What if she hasn't forgiven me?"

Bliss took in a long breath through her nostrils. Looking down at her young peer, the adolescent girl she had mentored all these years; she would have to let her go soon, just like all the other children she inspired throughout her career. But Helga was different, she had grown attached and fond of their sessions. The doctor held back her own sadness as water pushed behind the corners of her eyes. "If she cares for you, I'm sure she forgave you a long time ago."

_**~2003~** _

Phoebe tediously continued doing homework on her mattress by candlelight when she glanced up and got a little startled. The slender silhouette of a female figure resided outside her bedroom window.

She exhaled an anxious breath and set the notebook aside, standing up and walking over to the single frame. Unhinging it and pushing the pane upwards, revealed Helga's hopeful yet nervous expression. Their condo was one of the few along the street with a garage and a balcony atop of it and she assumed the blonde had made her way up the fire escape along the side of the house and onto the terrace which her window faced.

"You could've used the front door." She greeted humorously and grinned, taking in the sight of the taller teen's timid smirk, sapphire eyes and messy ponytail against the twinkling stars in the night sky.

"Well, that's no fun."

The shorter girl held out her hand as Helga took it and lifted her leg, clumsily stumbling through the opening. Phoebe instinctively wrapped her arms around the blonde's torso to catch her as the guest tripped.

There was a slight pause until Helga moved her right bicep around her companion's shoulders, and even though the embrace wasn't at first intentional, she leaned into it; pulling Phoebe closer. " _Today was shitty."_ She whispered, rather relieved.

The scantily clothed girl was at first surprised, but eventually fell into the hug, happy that her friend was safe and mentally survived an afternoon with the do-goody footballhead. " _It's almost over."_ She consoled and delicately placed her palms upon her partner's lower back.

The taller girl smirked and finally pulled away; still very much aware of the letters residing in her rear pocket, she almost forgot about the other item she carried under her arm. "Brought back your sweater." She said considerately as she held out the garment.

Phoebe teased her as she politely took the aged fabric. The scent of the Pataki laundry room lingering on the threads. "I was beginning to think you were going to keep it."

"Oh, no. Well-" She chuckled quietly. "It's kind of a funny story. You see after I left your house last week, I kind of...got into a fight with a hobo on a bus, and it needed to be washed." At least she was telling the truth. Of course, she could've brought the sweater back much sooner. But...ya know.

The shorter girl giggled sweetly in response. "Reasons like that are why I missed the city." She said a little sarcastically. "Thank you for washing it."

"Thanks for the flowers. How'd you sneak past Olga?" Helga asked and slipped her hands into the front pockets of her jeans as her host walked to the closet and opened the door, searching for a hanger.

A faint blush graced Phoebe's cheeks. "Oh, I conjured up a mediocre excuse."

"Let's hear it."

Miss Heyerdahl rolled her eyes and pursed her lips, somewhat embarrassed of her encounter with the older Pataki sister from earlier. "I said they were...from a secret admirer, and I was delivering them."

The blonde bellowed out a hearty laugh. "Now it's going to be nonstop with my sister, but seriously they were...really nice." She ended with an endearing tone.

Phoebe was surprised yet again, Helga rarely referred to Olga as her sister. "Of course, I hoped they might lighten your spirits." She said as she hung up the sweater in the closet and turned to notice her guest looking around the room, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Um...are ya busy right now? Do you mind if I...hang out for a while?" She asked uneasily.

"Oh, of course not! Make yourself comfortable. Would you fancy a drink?" She asked as she bent down and grabbed the jug of moonshine that resided hidden beneath some boxes in the corner of her closet.

The taller girl grinned. "Yeah, sure." She was definitely feeling better now than she was hours previous. She had escaped from the footballhead's fortress, eaten a substantial meal, and now she was with Phoebe. Whoever Phoebe was to her right now. Friend?...Best Friend? Something more? She didn't know, but she enjoyed how she felt around her classmate and longtime companion.

The shorter girl set the jug atop her desk but then browsed around the room. "Um, pardon me while I go acquire a few glasses, I'll just be a moment!" She exclaimed as she then left, leaving Helga alone in the sandalwood scented space.

And here she was again, left to all of Phoebe's wonderful possessions and clothes. She blinked a couple times and gulped nervously, her sweaty palm reaching to her back pocket as she peered around, eventually spotting the familiar knapsack leaning against the base of the desk. She crouched down and slipped the letters in there and a shudder ran underneath her skin, blossoming goosebumps. Phoebe would find them eventually, and Helga was hoping her friend would know what they were. She could explain, but a part of her was still wary.

Everything that was written and lingered on those pages. All the droplets of water from her eyes that had saturated the paper. All the crinkles and smudges from erasing and threatening to crumple up the heartfelt words and throw them away. Today had been shitty, and she didn't want to make it shittier by tossing that heaping rock into Phoebe's basket. Well, not right now. They could enjoy just hanging out for a while.

When she stood up she noticed a part of the room she hadn't last time. Maybe she was too busy dancing and smelling her crush's garments when she was in the space prior, but now she observed the corner, rather dark since Miss Heyerdahl only had a small lamp by her bed lit and a couple candles. She adjusted her crooked glasses and speculated the tall wooden painting easel, leaning against the wall. A canvas with blue tints, tones and shades smeared across the white base, hung upon the thin frame. Black lines revealed the back figure of a woman sitting and crouched forward.

"Do you like it?"

Helga quickly turned to see Phoebe enter the room with two crystal glasses. She handed her guest one as the taller girl smiled anxiously. "Yeah, it um...it looks familiar. Like I've seen it before."

"When I was hospitalized, recovering from my accident, my grandfather always used to visit. He'd bring those massive pages that they gave us in kindergarten for finger painting, and of course he'd also provide finger paints. While I was regaining feeling in my limbs and appendages, we'd paint together. Just silly things-"

"Blue nude." The blonde quietly interrupted as the painting's name emerged from her memory. "Picasso."

The shorter girl grinned in appreciation at her friend and her piercings dazzled. "Exactly. From his blue period. Even though I am able to grip a brush now, I painted this with my fingers shortly after my grandfather died. It's my own rendition of Picasso's masterpiece; not the same textures as the original-"

"It's better than the original." Helga said again, admiring the painting. She could stare at it all night, but yet this lovely young woman was standing right next to her, and she could gaze at her the whole evening as well.

"I'm overjoyed you think so." She responded happily as she walked over to the jug on her desk and set her glass down. "By the way, I updated my mother of the situation, she's perfectly fine with you staying as long as you'd like, she was just somewhat confused as to why you decided to enter through the window."

The taller teen crossed her arms and cleared her throat. "Come on, Pheebs, you should know by now, that's just how I roll." She said with wavering confidence, trying to suppress the rattling of her heart behind her ribs.

"I'm taken aback by how you climbed the fire escape and onto the balcony with your sprained ankle. How's it feeling?" She asked while the blonde set her glass on the desk as well and Phoebe served them both a couple ounces of the liquor.

Helga took her drink when the hostess pushed the cork into the opening of the jug and hid her well-kept secret back into the corner of her closet. "Oh, uh...I kind of lied about the sprained ankle…mostly to make Arnold feel worse." She said rather lowly, sniffing the aroma of the moonshine; clearing her sinuses.

The shorter girl giggled aloud, as she should have known. "Well, I think you succeeded there." She picked up her own glass as they then clinked the crystal. Helga gathered a deep breath into her lungs and tilted her head back, gulping all the liquid in the cup, no matter how hard it was to take; hoping the liquor would help calm her nerves a bit.

Phoebe's eyes widened as she watched her guest, consuming only half of her own drink.

The blonde casually wiped her mouth and chuckled to herself, setting down the glass while she nibbled on her bottom lip. "You know, I've been thinking, um...maybe you could help me out with something?"

"Of course, what is it?"

"Well...Will you...um...help me dye my hair? Not the same color as you, obviously, that'd be creepy…" She said worriedly and rested her hands upon the back of Phoebe's desk chair for support, letting the burning fluid trail down to her internals.

The dark haired girl smiled pleasantly as her mind wandered with ideas. "How do you feel about hot pink streaks?"

"Criminy, you read my mind."

"When would you like to dye it?" She asked politely and lifted her head back with the glass, swallowing the rest of her serving.

"How about tonight?"

The hostess set down her cup calmly on the desk as she glanced over at the digital clock by her mattress, reading _**9:27 pm.**_

"I mean..if that's cool?" Helga asked as she gawkily scratched the back of her head.

Phoebe let out a concerned breath, yet it rose from her lungs and stung with the confidence of her distilled alcohol. She rode on the courageous waves of the burning liquid. "If you think you won't be too fatigued to wake up for school in the morning. You're welcome to rest here if you want to."

"Really?" The blonde's disposition brightened.

She hesitantly shifted her eyes to Helga's with those fluttering feelings of last night's dream; the bare form of her companion procrastinating in the forefront of her mind, along with those strong elements of longing. "Yes."

The taller girl cleared her throat and crossed her arms cooly. "Do you think I'd look rad with piercings?"

"You wish to get a piercing this evening as well?" The hostess now raised her brow curiously.

"No, no, I'm just thinking about it. I'm over this boring look. All this, it represents the old Helga." She said with her hands gesturing up and down her figure.

"And...a new Helga Pataki has emerged somewhere?"

"I just…" She sighed frustrated. "I don't know. I got hit in the head with that football, and received some simple yet very profound advice from a…drag queen and a burger flipper at a diner; It's a new school year and I feel different now. I just want to change some things. You know, like an epiphany. I have to quit questioning where my heart wants to take me and just follow it." She shrugged frankly. "Like down a rabbit hole or something."

Phoebe grinned, there were times when her blonde friend could be very poetic and sophisticated with figurative sentences, yet there were times when she could say things bluntly. And even though her companion might've wanted to change her appearance, she would still be the same multifaceted Helga that Phoebe admired.

The guest came close and glanced down into her partner's eyes, searching those hazel irises for _something_. She wasn't sure what, but she knew she wanted to grasp the reflections and echoes of a deeper entity. It scared her but felt good at the same time. "I mean, didn't the same thing happen to you? Where you just said to yourself... _fuck it_?"

Miss Heyerdahl never thought the words 'fuck it' could ever sound more lovely coming from any other pair of lips. She took Helga's hand in hers, rolling her eyes slightly at how she was able to give in that easily. "Come on, let's go hit up the J-Mart and get your dye."

The blonde grinned with her success. There was no way she wanted to head back home, devour what was left in Olga's wine bottle, and pass out on the couch next to her older sibling.

As they walked down the stairs, Reba noticed the teenagers, standing up from the couch as Kyo slept with his head resting into the back of the sofa. Apparently the movie wasn't that interesting or he had been tired from a long day of work. "Well, hello, Miss Pataki. I told Phoebe you're welcome here at any time for any purpose. You don't need to use the windows, Hun'."

"Eh, you know us teenagers, we're weirdos." A bit of the alcohol started to creep into her personality. "Besides, I thought it would be pretty valiant."

The mother cocked her head to the side. "Valiant?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I figured it would impress Pheebs." She responded casually, as if Phoebe weren't standing right beside her.

The daughter's eyes widened as she cleared her throat, changing the subject, definitely not wanting her mother to know that Helga was somewhat intoxicated. "We're just going to purchase a few snacks from J-Mart."

Reba's chiding features then averted to her offspring. "At this time of night?"

Helga wrapped her arm over Phoebe's shoulder nonchalantly. "I pressured her into it; I had a craving, Mrs H. Don't worry, you guys might be getting used to the city again, but I know it like the back of my hand. I've only had to fight off a hobo twice in the past year." She then paused and thought aloud. "Oh wait...there was last week on the bus…"

"Isn't it also a school night? I know ya'll are probably still trying to get summer vacation out of your systems, but you also need to focus on getting back into the swing of things."

The shorter girl used her infamous puppy dog eyes she usually played on her parents she wanted something. "Please, Mother? We won't dally."

"Yeah, please, Reebs?" Helga asked, removing her arm from her friend's shoulders and clasped her hands together in an imploring way.

The older woman chuckled slightly and shook her head. "Fine, but just for tonight. And Helga, I don't mind you coming over at times and staying the night, but I do expect you to be a good influence on my baby."

"Oh my god, Mrs H, once the homework starts rolling in, trust me, it's going to be all study parties. Phoebe's going to beg me to leave her alone, but I'll be all like, Pheebs, we got to _**eat**_ , _**breathe**_ and _**shit**_ the knowledge for our educational careers here." The taller teenager stated with much enthusiasm and movement of her arms.

The mother exhaled a humorous breath and and walked over to her purse by the front door. She reached into her bag and handed her child the cellular flip-phone. "Call the house if you need anything or if anything happens, okay?"

"Yes, Mother."

"Don't worry about it, no one will even think of mugging us when I whip out Ole' Betsy and the Five Avengers." Helga said holding up her fists as they walked out and Phoebe calmly closed the door behind them. The blonde then playfully hopped over the couple steps of the stoop. She proceeded to balance on the edge of the sidewalk with her arms out to shift her weight as the shorter girl strode beside her. The corner J-Mart in sight, about a block away.

"You tend to be a smooth talker when you're intoxicated." Phoebe commented, still in her kimono and shorts; a pair of slippers snugged around her feet. Probably any other time she wouldn't have ventured to the corner store in just her pajamas. But she was with Helga Pataki, the toughest chick she knew. 'Tough' not necessarily meaning 'strong' but resilient and steadfast, and that's what she admired most about her longtime friend.

"You don't think I am when I'm sober?" Helga asked inquisitively as she focused on the line in the cement.

"I suppose I didn't mean it like that, you definitely are when uninebriated, but I guess sobriety can sometimes make people somewhat…" She trailed off as the blonde responded.

"Stuttery, nervous? Basket-cases?"

"I was going to say apprehensive."

The taller girl reached over and voluntarily took her companion's hand in hers as she continued to stable her heels on the edge of the sidewalk. However, her left foot slipped and Phoebe strengthened her forearm as Helga nearly tumbled into the street. "Thanks." She retorted as she placed her toes back onto the cement. Her face then shifted on her friend's opinion. "I don't want to be like that…" she said a bit disenchanted.

"People are apprehensive when they have a lot dwelling on their minds...or in their heart." The shorter girl stated, and she could speak from personal experience, but Helga didn't notice her partner's gaze as the blonde continued to watch the ground.

"You got that right." The teenager huffed until she lost her footing again and accidently let go of her friend's hand, chuckling as she stumbled onto the asphalt. "Criminy, I was seeing if I would pass one of those line tests. You're so good at being drunk."

Her lips lifted with her comical and nostalgic thoughts. "I'm what the cool kids call, a 'heavyweight'. I have a gut made out of iron, Arr!" She ended in a pirate accent.

Helga inhaled a drunken snort and stood on the sidewalk again, only this time she took Phoebe's fingers without aid and they walked side by side, hand in hand. "Remember when we used to do that pirate lingo all the time? Ay, matey! These landlubber's don't have the courage needed to brave the briny deep!"

"Shiver me timbers!"

The blonde let out a hearty laugh. "Okay, okay. We can only do this when we're smashed; we're gonna look so dumb saying these things sober."

"I think we'd still sound _super_ cool." The shorter girl grinned to herself, she figured Helga would've removed her hand from hers by now, but she didn't. At least she had a promising excuse; if her guest had run off or gotten hurt, she was sure her Mother would figure out they were intoxicated, if the older woman hadn't already gathered that.

Helga began to blissfully swing their arms back and forth. "So, what's your favorite song by Dr. Iron Claw? Oh! Wait, let me guess…" She snapped her fingers on her free hand. "The Bitching Hour." She stated confidently.

Phoebe giggled earnestly. "That is one of my favorites. Honestly, I cannot choose a singular victor though. All of Stacy Romero's lyrics are philosophically marvelous, and each track speaks to me personally...in a multitude of ways."

"Mhmm, I knew she was your favorite. You're totally ham for lead singers with great lyrics, vocals, and bods." She nudged her partner and the dark haired teenager blushed.

"You got me. She is pretty..." Phoebe attempted to find a word as the blonde glanced over and her thoughts disappeared into those bottomless blue eyes behind crooked bifocals. " _Captivating_."

"It's the piercings, huh?"

"Maybe I'm just into poets."

Helga grinned down at her and bit her lip. "I think my fave would have to be, 'Choke Me Harder'. I mean, I get it, it's totally about the little guy getting silenced by big business and Uncle Sam. Plus she has a bad-ass guitar solo near the end."

Miss Heyerdahl browsed her feet as she attempted to contain her affections. "Months ago, I digitally burned a mix CD of all my favorite tracks...We could listen to it while I'm dying your hair, if you like."

"Yeah, that sounds awesome!" The taller girl exclaimed as they reached the corner J-Mart and the automatic doors slid open with a jingle as the older teen behind the counter uninterestedly looked over at them then back to the small portable tv set hidden next to the register. Helga heard the familiar cop and robber show he was watching when she began to drum her index fingers onto the counter in a rhythmic motion; she peeked at his name tag. "Yo, _Pablo_ , where ya hair dye at?"

He raised his brow unamused, noticing her disposition and wounds. "Aren't you a little young to be drinking...or getting into bar fights?"

"Psh, I'm twenty three, and I'm most certainly not druuuuunk."

He eyed the small black and white screen again as he mumbled. "Uh huh. It's near the back."

"I think I see it." Phoebe said as she squinted and pulled Helga along by the hand.

"Oh wait, Pheebs!" The blonde called as they passed by the chip and candy aisle, her gaze sparkling as she peered at the colorful packages. "Shit, you know they totally do this on purpose. They put all the junk food and snacks in your way to tempt you when you're here to grab something else. You like these little donut things with the sprinkles?" She asked as she let go of Phoebe's hand to grab two big bags of pork rinds, three packages of the donettes with sprinkles, a bag of Cheesy Poofs, and a two liter of Purple FIZZ.

Helga had the bag of Cheesy Poofs in her mouth when the shorter girl walked up and lightly pulled it from between her teeth. "Do you need assistance carrying any of this?"

The taller teenager scrunched her face. "Criminy, I asked you if you liked the little donuts and then got totally mesmerized by the smorgasbord of sugar and carbs. What would you like?" Her expression then rose.

She pursed her lips in thought. "I do quite enjoy those chocolate coated biscuit sticks that come from Japan."

"Right, right, I got you, babe." Helga said as she spotted the little red package and grabbed it with what free fingers she had. "Hair dye next?" She grinned and walked past Phoebe who stood there with the Cheesy Poofs.

_Did she just call me babe?_ She asked herself as she followed after her tipsy companion. She didn't want to question the blonde's motives too much, as Helga seemed to be having a good time. And she wanted her to, especially after the unfortunate first day back at school. "Allow me?" she asked politely as she took the bags of pork rinds and Helga reached up to grasp a box of what looked like pink goop next to several other tubes and packages of hair products. She squinted through the cracks in her lenses and read the writing on the stylized container.

"Electric Pink. Ooh, sounds _stimulating_. What do you think? You're the expert."

"Honestly, it will apply much better than colored drink mix."

"Does that stuff actually dye your hair?"

"Yes, but it's _so_ junior high."

"Well, I'm going to class it up tonight. I want my hair to look like a flamingoooo." She winked at her shorter friend and they walked to the front of the store. The blonde pulled a twenty from her pocket, slapped it on the counter and proceeded to walk to the jingly door with her snacks. "Keep the change, Pablo. And don't tell anyone I'm drunk!"

_**XOXOX** _

Filling her stomach must've fought off her intoxication as she sat on the desk chair that Phoebe had brought into the bathroom from her bedroom. She was sobering up way too quickly as she stared at herself in the mirror. That bruise from the football on the side of her face, deepening in purple color as the night went on. Her mangled glasses on the sink counter had miniscule grass stains, but she was still rather content. Content being by the current object of her affections, and listening to Stacy R.'s sexy vocals from Phoebe's portable boombox.

The hostess had on a pair of plastic gloves and a roll of aluminum foil resided on the countertop as she rubbed the dye into strips of Helga's golden hair. She was almost done applying the chemical substance when she noticed the blonde's reflection staring at her from the mirror.

She swiftly made her concerns audible. "Everything alright? I noticed you only ate half the bag of Cheesy Poofs and two packages of those mini donuts."

The taller teen bit into her bottom lip for which seemed like the hundredth time that night. She was starting to sober, her thoughts residing back to the letters. What if Phoebe was resentful? What if she saw the letters as offensive or negligent? She wanted to speak up before her friend found them. Her insecurities rising like they had so many times before in the recent presence of Miss Heyerdahl. "I want to ask you something…"

Phoebe wrapped the foil around the lock of hair she had just drenched with the goop. "Of course, what's on your mind?"

" _...Are you mad at me?"_

Her brow rose curiously. "What do you mean? I thought we were having a pleasant night." She responded, grabbing around a set of golden strands.

The anxious blonde sighed and averted her eyes to the floor. "For ignoring you, and being an all around ass for the past six years?"

The shorter girl hesitated as she was about to squeeze more of the pink dye from the plastic applicator. "Oh...Is that why you've been inaccessible the past week? Because you believed I was witholding a grudge?"

Helga looked back at her reflection in the mirror. The panic rose in her chest, Yep, speaking up was a dumb idea.

"I'm not mad. If anything, I frequently imagined there was something... _undesirable_ about my presence."

"No, it's not that at all, I just...I have a lot of problems. I have a lot of... _anxiety_." She confessed rather quietly.

"If I may ask, anxiety about what?"

"I don't know. Everything I guess. Everything just kind of fell apart when you left and my parents got thrown in the slammer. I just... _broke_. A part of me feels so stupid for letting Bob and Miriam get to me like that, but then I guess it did and... _does_." She closed her eyes tightly. "And then I felt alone and like everyone was staring at me. But not because I was royally kicking someone's ass and being awesome...but because...of all my problems; it's like I didn't have the strength to hide them anymore." A tear left one of her puffy eyes and ran down her bruised cheek; she let out a saddened yet humorous scoff. "Wow, I'm still pretty drunk, huh?"

"I'm happy you're telling me this. It makes me feel better."

Even though her eyelids attempted to contain their overwhelming moisture, her tongue and throat felt dry. "That moment...when I ran away from you at the Cheese Festival, back in '97...I'm _trapped_ in that moment. I should've been understanding. I've wanted to redo that moment since it happened, and I've wanted to tell you, that running away...it was never about you...it was just me...being scared and stupid." She sniffled as Phoebe paused what she was doing with Helga's hair and crouched down, staring up into the blonde's remorseful facial features.

"You're not stupid...I understand."

"I'm so sorry, and not just for that...for everything. For always treating you like you were below me or that you weren't an important part of my life. I don't know why I did all those things...it's not like I really had great role models, but, that's still not an excuse. I still knew right from wrong." More water glistened over her pupils and Phoebe wanted to place her hand upon her companion's knee, however she had gunk all over her hands, so her voice would have to be the reassurance that Helga needed right now.

"Your guilt burdens you, more than any kind of animosity or...grief I had in my heart for your memory. Yes, you did all those things, but when I departed Hillwood, I still missed you, so much, and that means all I could consider or remember were the wonderful moments we shared together."

Tears now fervently streamed down Helga's cheeks. "I'd hug you so hard, but I have shit in my hair right now."

Phoebe gathered her courage and lifted the back of her wrist to wipe a couple stray drops from her partner's face like she had earlier that day when the blonde resided scared and panicked in her arms. "You're just human. It's understandable that sometimes circumstances can get overwhelming. If it makes you feel better, I always forgave you, after you acted...less than desirable."

Helga gazed back into the mirror as the hostess stood back up, her blubbering continued as her words breathlessly faltered. "D-Do you think it looks g-good so far?"

"You're gonna look hot. I mean... _hotter_." The shorter girl coyly winked and nudged her friend as the taller teen wiped the bottom of her runny nose.

"H-Hotter than S-Stacy R.?"

Phoebe modestly grinned to herself. _Is that what this is all about?_ "Way hotter than Stacy R." She responded as she started to finish up and there was something else she was curious about that they hadn't really discussed. "May I inquire about something that's been recently weighing on my mind?"

"Sure."

"Truthfully...did Rhonda replace me?"

Helga glanced back up at her in the reflection of the mirror. She stated gravely. "Nobody could replace you."

The hostesses features became wistful. "You ladies seem close."

"We have…" The blonde closed her eyes roughly as she strained at the thoughts and gritted her teeth. "Coping tendencies that coordinate with each other's, and we bond over that."

"Well...you're aware I'm still here for you right? Then and now?"

"Yeah...I…" She let out a troubled breath. Disappointed with herself, for running to alcohol and substances than rather talking out her problems all the years of her teenage youth and post-therapy. " _I know…_ "

Phoebe squeezed the last of the goop into the aluminum strip and rubbed it into one of Helga's golden locks then folded the foil. "The package states to wait forty minutes, but we've been applying it for some time now. I'd estimate all we have to wait is around twenty, and then you can rinse it out."

"Right...you mind if I hang out in here with your mix CD for a while? I just want to think for a bit." The taller girl replied, her tone now serious; her tear stains drying upon her cheeks.

"Of course. Call for me if you need anything." She pulled off the gloves and tossed them into the trash as she left, gently closing the bathroom door behind her as she walked over to her room. The tension in her back now very present.

When she arrived back to the dimly lit space, the shorter girl collected her scattered homework from the mattress, moving the notebooks to her knapsack when she noticed the shimmer of something she hadn't placed there previously. She questioningly set her papers aside and picked up the bundle of letters. The top envelop had her Kentucky address in the center and Helga's address in the top left corner.

The next song on her mix CD started to play and she could hear Helga faintly sing along to the lyrics from the bathroom as she untied the dusty ribbon and gingerly opened up the most recent letter. The top left corner read: _**August 19th, 1999**_

_Dearest Phoebe,_

_Maybe I'll send a letter his time, but then again I haven't sent the others_.

_Harold beat his record of 100 Mr Fudgies, but that's no big news. He puked onto the side of the Jolly Ollie man's truck though, that was hilarious. I won ten bucks in a bet._

_Olga recently bribed me to go visit Bob and Miriam; I didn't. I still haven't seen them since the cops came to our place and took both of them away in handcuffs. Fuck that._

_Rhonda's birthday was a couple days ago, I got her some knockoff bag from China Town, she knew it was fake but she still liked that I thought of her._

There was then some written sentences that had been violently been scribbled out with the fuchsia colored pen that inked the lines of the paper.

_Oh, Pheebs, Why do I write about such nonsense when none of it will ever reach your humble hazel colored eyes? I don't know why I don't send these. Or call you and tell you how much I miss you or how sorry I am. Hearing just a faint breath leave your lungs, channeling through space and telephone wires would give me the endurance to wake up at the break of day. To lift the blinds of my panes to the obscure world, instead of leaving this little room always callous and cold._

_I see you universally, and I am yet again stabbed with the memoirs of my mistakes. You're in the pink bubble gum that I can't bring myself to scrape off the sole of my sneaker. You're in the green reflection of the murky ponds and lakes that scatter throughout the polluted city._

_Phoebe Heyerdahl, with hair as dark as the night sky, mirroring the vast emptiness and wonder of space, how I wish I could once again sit on your bed and watch you brush through it. The moonlight glistening off it's silky texture, like rivers of black water cascading against the translucent fuzz upon your nape._

_Watching the bristles graze through those gleaming strands, I am reminded of your honorable and fluid spirit, a valedictorian for the meek and the dweebs, you give them all the best names, and I'd covertly wish I was more like you._

_You'd turn to me, and ask how my day was, and all the anger and suffering I harbor in my tormented soul would wash away with the vision of your face against the glow of the planets._

_Even though now I am alone, and my company of you lies within chewing gum and the hollow yet congested universe, in my veins, you are still my best friend, and I still hold what I said the last time we spoke, I love you, and it was really dumb for how long it took me to realize that._

_Yours truly,_

_Helga_

_**XOXOX** _

The blonde turned off the water and exited the shower, taking a courtesy towel off the rack in the bathroom and brushed it several times over her head to dry the now pink strands. She then wrapped it around her torso and tucked the corner, stealthily leaving the bathroom and making her way back to Phoebe's room, not wanting to wake Mr and Mrs Heyerdahl. She spotted her friend sitting on her mattress, her legs crisscrossed as she stared down at her up-faced palms in her lap. Helga faintly rubbed the back of her neck. "Sorry I took so long, I wanted to make sure I washed all the extra dye out."

The shorter girl quickly glanced up, rather surprised as if she were deep in thought. "Oh, no worries!" She grabbed the attire that was folded next to her on the bed and stood up, her prior notions fading. "I fetched some pajamas for you, if you'd like, since I know you...formally sleep without clothes."

Helga responded with a timid smirk. "Thanks, um, pajamas sound fine. How does it look?" She asked as she ran a couple fingers through the damp pink and golden locks and tousled them as they fell to the side of her face.

Was this part real, or was this an extension of another dream? Had the whole day been a reverie of last night? Bits and pieces of her mind were still lost in the surrealness of everything that had been beautifully haunting her. "It looks wonderful. I'm glad you decided to dye it, and I was able to help."

The guest glanced down at the pajamas cradled in the hostesses arms and cleared her throat awkwardly. "Do you mind if I just change here real quick?"

"Oh! No, not at all." Phoebe responded and she altered her position, looking away as her companion dropped her towel and threw on the top, sticking her long legs into the shorts.

Helga realized the shirt actually fit her pretty well and she glanced down, letting out a humorous snort. "Oh my god, Pheebs. This shirt."

The shorter girl turned back around and lifted her hand to her forehead, rather embarrassed. "Oh, my Father embarked on a business trip to Tampa a couple years ago and discovered that. He said he immediately thought of me and purchased it, however the shop only had it in a Large."

The blonde snickered down at the garment again, a couple lightbulbs danced in the background while the foreground read, _**Watt is love? Baby don't hertz me, don't hertz me, n-ohm-ore**_. "I don't care what you say, I'm keeping this. It's that great." She stated.

Phoebe giggled at her partner's enthusiasm. "You may keep it. I'm glad it'll get worn."

Helga then browsed around the room. "Um...do you have a pillow or a blanket I can borrow?"

The hostess shyly moved her hands behind her back, blushing slightly at her request as it exited her mouth. "Oh, well, I was pondering, it's somewhat silly that one of us has to sleep on the floor. My mattress is a queen size, if you're content lying with me."

"Um, y-yeah...sure." Why was she being nervous? They had had sleepovers before. But then again that's when they were kids, before all this hormonal nonsense kicked into their teenage bodies, and before she spilled all her emotions out in the Heyerdahl bathroom with pink shit in her hair.

Phoebe delved into the covers of her bed and scooted over to the left side that resided against the wall of her room. A small lamp resided behind it on the ground that she could easily twist on and off. Once Helga got under the sheets as well, she reached back and switched off the light. Just the subtle glow of the moon from the pane of her window entering space, illuminating the lines of their adolescent figures.

She turned onto her side as Helga was already on hers and they both silently stared at one another. The blonde was pretty sure Phoebe had found the letters and her friend's disposition didn't seem completely disgusted or angry. Which she supposed was a good sign.

There was stillness in the air before the shorter girl faintly chuckled to herself. "You better take all that junk food with you tomorrow, otherwise I might binge it all."

Helga grinned back, her fair skin mildly blooming amongst the darkness; her abysmal navy colored irises, beckoning in the light that sparkled within Phoebe's. "I will. Did you like your chocolate biscuits?"

She nuzzled the side of her face into her pillow and pulled the covers over her shoulder. "I _dined_ on a couple." She responded humorously. "But I suppose I'll save the rest for a rainy day." Phoebe then lightly licked her lips and attempted to keep the conversation going, not quite wanting to sleep yet. "Where would you like your first piercing?"

The taller teenager blinked slowly and nibbled on her inner cheek in thought. "I was thinking a nose piercing would be pretty cool."

"It doesn't hurt that bad, if you were at all worried about the pain."

"Psh, I can take it."

The hostess smiled but then resisted the heavy urge to close her eyes and yawn. Helga watched as her companion's features shifted into grogginess. "Are you tired?"

"Mm...just a little."

"We should try to sleep."

The shorter girl inhaled through her nostrils and sighed a bit disheartened. "You're probably right."

A smirk graced the blonde's lips. "I promised your mom I'd be a good influence on you."

Phoebe rolled her eyes playfully as she then shifted her weight over onto her other side. Meekly whispering less than what she desired to. " _Goodnight, Helga._ "

"Night, Pheebs."

She stared at her wall, feeling the warmth of Helga's body radiate from her close proximity. It felt nice, having another person in her bed. Would she have another interesting dream tonight? Or would she wake up from this...wonderful evening? Opening her hazel eyes to the searing sunrise as her back stiffened and pained, desperately alone on her mattress again. She hesitated for a couple moments before speaking up. "Helga?"

The was a rustle in the sheets. "Yeah?"

She exhaled slowly from her trembling lungs. "Thank you...for the letters. You could have…" Her words became lost in her throat with the feelings as she tried to regain her voice. "You could have thrown them away...but you didn't."

The was another shuffle on the mattress as Helga paused before responding. "...You're wrong. I was able to bury and let the worms consume all those wasted words and pages of Arnold, but I couldn't even fathom letting that happen to any shred of paper with your name on it."

The corners of her mouth curled upward as Helga's confession filled other corners, the corners of her eyes with droplets. "It means the world to me that you finally delivered them."

"I told you...I feel different." After a couple seconds the blonde wiggled her figure under the covers and the ridges of her spine met with Phoebe's own back.

The shorter girl felt her skin flutter again with the pressure and fervor of Helga's figure against her own, even if it was faint. She hadn't realized until last night how much she needed it.

Phoebe tucked her hand under her pillow for support and felt the silk of the ribbon that she had placed there twenty minutes prior. Feeling Helga's torso, the nostalgic fabric of their lost youth. They had definitely changed and she was ready for it. Whatever IT was. Last evening's dream flickered through her conscious as she closed her eyes and silently cried as the blonde adjusted for the moment and then pressed closer. Phoebe's back releasing some of it's tension with the physical contact.

_**XOXOX** _

_Dearest Helga,_

_I held onto the thin and delicate thread of life to witness moments like these...and it was so worth it._


	8. Queens

_**A part of Chapter 1: Company** _

_**~Two Weeks Ago~** _

The blonde gripped onto the top of the wooden headboard as the tickle danced across the inside of her chest.

She supposed you could call it a luxury to witness the prosperous girl blossom into a lavish young woman. Curves and femininity definitely bloomed upon Rhonda's figure much more elegantly than she could say for herself. When Rhonda would go up in a cup size, Helga was embellished with a few more zits. When Rhonda's body finally fit into her mother's little black gown, Helga had to thrown away a pair of jeans because she had grown another five inches over night. Rhonda was a black stallion, and she was a gimpy mare, still waiting to trot, if it ever were to happen.

As if Miss Lloyd didn't already look amazing  _IN_ clothes. The blonde always secretly hoped her friend would get some sort of razor burn when she shaved her lower abdomen, but that never happened. It might have made her feel better about her own awkward body. Oh who was she kidding, Rhonda and her mother probably had all that shit lasered off, laughing together as they sipped on mocha lattes. At least the wealthy teenager wasn't turned off by her boney form and lanky exterior.

Their skin was still salty from the sands and ocean foam; not like they cared. Hygiene wasn't something they were too concerned about, considering the spontaneous rush of hormones. They had somehow made their way out of one of the beach house bathrooms and into master suite, which had a sliding door that led out onto the deck and to the shore.

Sometimes Brook and Buckley would drop them off at the vacation home while they golfed with his investment partners in Falmouth, which meant the two girls got to spend a lot of alone time together. Luckily the fridge was always stocked before their arrival and Helga enjoyed that. While Rhonda would be outside on the deck spending time tanning, the blonde would cozy up on the couch with her seven layer bean dip and nachos and watch a wrestling match on the satellite connected big screen television.

The teenagers would head down to the shore every so often, napping under the shady parasail or collecting seashells; splashing through the North Atlantic waves like they did today. Able to relax until they were crammed into the confined classrooms of Hillwood High again, into the stuffy public school system. And Helga wasn't too thrilled about that.

As of now, the horizon was dark and endless from what she could barely see out the sliding glass door, as her glasses were somewhere else, however, she resisted to close her eyes again.

Every muscle in her body had tensed as she steadied on her knees, practically seated atop her friend's face. Rhonda was doing a pretty swell job, not that she wanted to make too much noise, knowing that her long time companion was a glutton for praise, but it did feel damn good. After all, they had the past three years to discover each other's bodies, and they were pretty sure how the other physically clicked by now.

Rhonda mumbled with shortness of breath, her arms wrapped around Helga's thighs as she supported her. Her nails clinging onto the blonde's quads.

The lanky teen couldn't sit up any longer, her climax had recently ended and the ride was fading; she wanted to give her partner a break as she was sure the girl's jaw must've been aching by now.

Helga let go of the headboard and adjusted herself back, moving away from Rhonda's mouth. The darker haired girl gasped in response. "Thanks." The bottom half of her face glistened in the moonlight from the many windows gracing the polished room.

"Uh huh." The blonde responded in a groan and fell off of her friend's torso, toppling onto her side, her cheek now pressed against the expensive satin sheets, suddenly feeling very sleepy.

The calming crashing of the waves from the beach seeped into the room, and Helga pondered that she should probably be grateful of the hospitality; it wasn't every day that you could have sex so close to the ocean.

Rhonda barely inched from her position as she took her pack of cigarettes from the nightstand and pulled out one of the sticks. A lighter nestled in the sheets helped burn her addiction. She spoke up after an inhale. "It would be damn funny if we ended up fucking each other for the rest of our lives. Looking back, who would've thought?"

Helga scoffed and eventually crawled to the pillow next to her host, leaning back upon the wooden bed frame that helped her through the evening. She retorted sarcastically. "Are you insinuating something? Is that some  _charming_  marriage proposal?"

The wealthy teenager slowly blew out the cloud from her lungs; her nose twitched for the moment as she recovered quickly from the negative response of her comment. "Oh, Helga, I'm only teasing. Food for thought."

"Don't worry, Princess, you'll fall head over heels for some pompous rich boy someday and completely forget about the scandalous escapades of our youth."

Rhonda rolled her eyes, highly doubting that. "Haven't you figured out how it works out by now, dearest? Everyone falls for me, everyone gawks at me, and do you know where I'm staring or who I'm gazing at?"

The blonde rested the back of her head onto the engraved wood, attempting to regain her strength as she curiously glanced over at her partner.

"I'm staring at me too." She nudged her guest's elbow. "Maybe that's why we work so well, because you'd rather have no one look at you, and they're too busy eyeballing me.

"You think you're such hot shit, but one day you'll stare at someone else. Even Aphrodite had love affairs with mortals."

"I stare at you when you make that cute little 'o' face.  _Oh, Rhonda! Oh, don't stop, Rhonda! Fuck, that feels so good!_ "

As if her cheeks weren't already red. She faintly threatened. "Don't make me burn you with your own cigarette."

"Watch out, I might like it." Rhonda took another drag then turned her face towards Helga, blowing the smoke slightly above her golden locks. A smirk then graced her lips, and her brown eyes glazed with a mischievous shadow.

The blonde raised an eyebrow. Miss Lloyd was giving her a look, and she was pretty sure she knew why, still she indulged with false modesty. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"You know why."

Helga sighed, she had literally gotten off just a couple minutes ago, but she knew the drill by now. Not that she would protest in making the confident girl squeal and shudder with her own talents, however her energy was sparse. She let out a fatigued breath. "Alright. Just let me rest here for a couple more moments."

"By all means, take your time. I enjoy basking in your afterglow." She responded as she inhaled the smoke again and the tobacco burned, faintly illuminating the tip of her nose and lips.

The lanky teenager enjoyed the pleasure high; thoughts of Arnold had faded away about an hour ago. The surrounding sounds of the Atlantic were amazing, much better than the incessant chatter of her nosy classmates. She bit into her bottom lip and pressed forward, getting back onto her knees and shuffled on the bed.

Rhonda grinned as the space between her legs widened with the touch of Helga's palms on her thighs. Watching as the rather tired but engaging blonde smiled smugly and moved one of her hands between her own loins, gathering what juices remained from earlier onto her fingers.

The dark haired girl suppressed a chuckle and simply pampered her suggestive conscious with the view in front of her. "Mmm, That's  _hot_." Her lungs burning with the flumes of nicotine, her veins scorching with promiscuous thoughts.

Helga then perched her torso above her partner's perky breasts and slipped her fingers down, past the cluster of nerves, damp folds, and farther back, into a tighter crevice of gratification that Rhonda found rather satisfying.

Miss Lloyd instinctively shut her eyes and gritted her teeth with the pressure of the blonde's gradual entrance and raised her arm back, putting out her cigarette onto the decorative wood molding of the head board and tossed the butt across the room; she blew the rest of the smoke out from her body, grabbing what little bust Helga had on her chest. "Make out with me." she requested in a subtle moan.

The blonde hesitated her motions and her features became inquisitive for the moment in the pale light of the dark room.

The duo had only made out two times. Once when they were thirteen, and second when they were insanely wasted at one of Rhonda's costume parties last year. She remembered it pretty vividly even though she hadn't in her life been  _that_  intoxicated before.

She had dressed up as one of her favorite luchadors; wearing a red mask and binding her chest with wraps so she could walk around topless. She also wore a matching crimson leggings and drew fake tattoos on her arms with a marker, however Rhonda's costume was drastically different; it was an ensemble fit for a queen. Literally. The wealthy teenager was inspired by Elizabethan fashion, adorning a large whisk collar around her crowned head with a silk gown and padded sleeves. It was black, and Helga was sure Rhonda had it custom made for such an occasion.

Tequila had led them both down a path of hunger and lust that night when Rhonda grabbed Helga's wrist out of a drunken conversation with Iggy and out to the balcony of the penthouse; a breathtaking sight of the more affluent section of the city. The hostess shoved the blonde against the exterior wall, grabbed her thin pale waist and urgently pressed her mouth upon Helga's; there was apparently no time to rip off the wrestler mask. The two teenagers fondled each other as they made out for who knows how long. And who knows who else might've come out to the balcony and witnessed their cravings. After all, she couldn't remember much after, during that night.

Rhonda spoke up, dispersing the her partner's memories. "What's wrong? Are you afraid you'll fall madly in love with me?" She teased, still relishing the pleasure she was receiving from the lower half of her body.

Helga scoffed but grinned. "No, because then you'll probably say something obnoxious WHILE we're in the middle of making out."

"Okay, that was like  _ **one**_  time at my party last year. You ate some of Sheena's vegan ambrosia salad that evening, and I was just complimenting her cooking."

"You usually compliment the chef, Rhonda. Not the person you're hooking up with."

"But the inside of your mouth smelled and tasted really good. And I did actually compliment Sheena before she left that night, after we...you know."

"Well, if you desire to make out so bad, why don't you just confess that you want me to fuck you softly sometimes, hmm?" She asked in a low tone, moving her thumb upwards into the ripples of her companion's sensitive fruition.

The hostess paused before responding, resisting the urge to vocally express her utter delight. "I would never,  _ever_ ,  _ **ever**_ , admit that, dahling." Her confident expression was faltering, yet she continued to make eye contact, hoping Helga wouldn't notice.

"You're staring, Miss Lloyd."

"I'm just looking at my reflection in those crystal blue eyes."

The blonde pushed in further and Rhonda accidently let out a gasp of ecstasy; the space between her thighs widened and her hips arched, allowing more room for her partner's ample enthusiasm. Her eyelids suddenly became very heavy as she disclosed in a coy manner. "I'm joking, Pataki. You're gorgeous when your skinny white ass is on top of me. Oh how far we've come from the fifth grade. Maybe you're less of a tantrum throwing brat, hmm?"

She was sure the dark haired teenager meant that as a compliment, however, she could see her companion buckling by the second from her touch. Helga moved her free hand up and curled her fingers around Rhonda's throat. Squeezing cautiously but firmly at the same time. "I can still be a  _ **brat**_." She mumbled seductively, the shadowy glaze in her eyes now mimicking the brown irises gazing up at her.

" _Fuck._ " Rhonda hoarsely responded with the pressure upon her esophagus, her breathing became shallow and short as she finally closed her eyes, exhaling a tiny grunt from the back of her nostrils. " _So, uh...a-are you still c-coming….to my p-party tomorrow…?_ "

"We don't need to play twenty questions, Rhon', you already have me naked, in your bed." The blonde persisted, wondering if her friend was trying to postpone her sexual pinnacle by continuing to flap her gums.

" _I-I know, but I can talk and c-cum at the same time. I'm very t-talented like that."_

Helga released her palm from Rhonda's neck, which now displayed a rosy imprint and glided three fingers into her companion's mouth. "Babe, It's time to stop talking." She thrusted her other hand gently and repeatedly; her thumb flicking the rivers of burning sensory fibers trailing up to the girl's lower abdomen.

"Mmphhhhh...hmpphh..." The wealthy teenager pleasantly muffled, her muscles tensing around her partner's left fingers; sinking her teeth into the blonde's right knuckles. Rhonda's hands fell from Helga's chest and and fumbled around for the pillows and sheets on the bed, fervently gripping the encased feathers as she rapidly reached her peak and tumbled blissfully over the edge. She hesitated with heavy breaths for the moment as debatable notions flickered through her mind. She reluctantly opened her eyes again and lifted the pillow, tossing it into the side of the blonde's head.

The lanky teenager fell off the hostess with the hit, along with her fingers, and nearly tumbled off the bed. "Oof!" she exclaimed and then realized what had happened, now rather annoyed of the abrupt gesture, and also irritated because she had just been very turned on. "What is  _wrong_  with you?"

Rhonda released an exhausted giggle and panted deeply. "I've been wanting to do that all night. But I was a bit distracted earlier when you were  _gushing_  all over my face." she shivered and licked her lips.

"You are so weird." Helga retorted as she grabbed another pillow from the mattress and threw it onto the content girl's chest. Shuffling her legs off the bed and standing up to go wash her hands at the sink across the room by the master bath.

The wealthy teen grabbed another cigarette from her nearby pack and placed it into her mouth, lighting the stick as she reveled in her imagination. Did she almost just confess her love for the blonde at the apex of her arousal? That was a close one. Helga might be mad now, but she'd get over it and just assume that her best friend, Rhonda Wellington Lloyd, was a weirdo. A freak.

Miss Lloyd never assumed she'd fall for  _ **the Helga Pataki**_. She always thought they'd eventually get boyfriends, double date, party together, all that kind of stuff. She tried fooling around with some of the guys at their highschool, nothing serious. Nothing unsafe, just groping and tugging in the janitor's closet. Which was a bit exhilarating at first, but eventually the excitement of getting caught faded, and she actually had to focus on whoever she was with at the time, which was usually disappointing.

They didn't know her quirks. They didn't know her body. Not like Helga did. In time, she grew bored of it. The thrill was over, but Helga was there, and Rhonda knew she could throw a cheap shot and the Pataki pride would shine, swinging back. The blonde wouldn't get offended because of some manhood or ego getting bruised. If one of them sucked at one thing or another, they let the other know, and the mystery was gone, yet, the spark still remained. At least for her. She wasn't sure how Helga felt about the whole thing. Maybe that why she always wanted to go above and beyond for her friend. If there ever was another suitor for the blonde, she could always attempt to hold a trophy in her heart. Because Helga definitely did in hers, seeing as Miss Pataki was her first love and all.

Rhonda finally shifted her rump and stood off of the mattress, strolling towards her guest at the sink, blowing grey smoke out from her nostrils as she gazed at the ridges and sharp curves of Helga's bare form.

The blonde put back on her glasses from the counter and scrubbed soap over her fingers, wincing once she brushed her right hand; her knuckles definitely showed Rhonda's dental impression. She then glanced up into the large rectangle mirror and noticed her partner behind her, surprised that Rhonda hadn't fallen asleep or rested longer. Helga turned around as the dark haired teenager crouched and quickly wrapped her arms around her buttocks, picking the blonde up and tossing her over the shoulder.

Helga's blue eyes widened as the wealthy girl began to walk away from the sink, away from the mattress they had stained with their affections. "Criminy, Rhonda, was that the best orgasm of your life!? How are you so strong!?" She protested in confusion, her ass in the air as her torso dangled down Rhonda's lean back.

"You tend to forget I do hardcore yoga with my mother like four times a week." She responded as she walked them through the opening of the sliding glass door, and out onto the hard deck, down into the delicate grains of sand. The blonde's eyes adjusted to the expanse of the moonlight. Were they going to take a dip at this hour? Floating in the sea foam wouldn't be so bad, however she was tired, and drowning was an issue that could arise with fatigue.

Rhonda sauntered to the shore line and finally set her friend down onto her feet. "Thank god, no boys out here." She exhaled rather relieved and sat down into the moist sand, letting the waves lick her toes.

Helga crossed her arms, still peeved from earlier. "You could've just asked me to walk outside with you."

Miss Lloyd took another drag on her cigarette and the clouds released from the gaps in her teeth as she spoke. "Would you quit being so grumpy all the time? You act like you have a stick up your ass.

"No, that would be  _you_."

She then grinned rather too sweetly and patted the ground next to her. "Sit with me, pleeeeease?"

The blonde sighed and sat down into the tender earth next to her companion. She hugged her knees as she gazed at the vast yet tranquil scenery, "I'm not grumpy, I guess I'm just….still sort of reeling from earlier...and you can be really annoying sometimes." she grumbled and proceeded to pinch the bridge of her nose.

"The Arnold thing?" Rhonda asked, although she already knew by now.

"Yeah. I can't get it out of my fucking head." She moved her fingers under her glasses and rubbed her eyes, her tone rather grave as she confessed. "I never told you but...I frequently have...night terrors."

The dark haired girl watched the dusky water curl and shift with the moon, hesitating before she responded. "About footballhead?"

Helga suppressed the urge to punch something, or cry a lot. She was never sure which one, she just always felt like she had to do both at the same time. "Something like that. Thanks for his evening though. It helped...and It was really good."

"Ditto, and It's alright. We all have shit we're dealing with."

The lanky teenager dug her toes into the damp pale grains. "I just don't want to kiss you and it sucks because my mind is... _preoccupied_."

Rhonda exhaled smoke, the cherry on her cigarette almost dead. "I get it. I'm just trying to have a good time. That's all." She then glanced up at the bright orb hovering in the heavens. "When I'm not high or...getting wasted all the time...I realize you're the closest I've ever been to anyone. My parents haven't hugged me since I was like eleven… you're my source of physical comfort, as much as a pain in my ass that you are." She nudged Helga's elbow lightly. "Eh? Like that one?"

The blonde drew her knees closer but revealed a small grin. Glancing over at her companion. "You're staring again."

Rhonda's features contorted unpleasantly as she recalled one of her favorite memories. Not because of the keepsake, but for other reasons. "Sometimes, it feels like we never left that bathroom stall."

"We're just ten years old forever?"

"With more experience...having an even  _ **better**_  time hanging out."

Helga scoffed lightly. "You're still Rhonda Wellington Lloyd, confident as ever wearing those red 'clacky' heels."

"And you're still Helga Pataki. Stubborn. Brash. A little nervous. All the things that make a great female." Her brown eyes pained for the moment. "You'll turn a boy into a man someday."

The blonde slowly averted her sapphire eyes back out into the horizon. "For right now, there's just us." She licked her lips as she then gestured to the cigarette between Rhonda's fingers. "May I?"

The wealthy teenager passed it over as her friend inhaled the last of the tobacco and tossed the cigarette away into the sea of the sands. She let the flume trail up her mouth while she placed a sturdy hand upon the back of Rhonda's head; intertwining her fingers within black satin tresses.

Miss Lloyd disclosed a blissful grin as Helga lowered her lips to hers; their bodies gathering speckles of salt and sand again. And for the next several minutes, Rhonda stopped talking.


	9. Black - Part 1

_**~2003~** _

The girl's eyes slowly opened, mind finally reaching consciousness. Her back didn't feel as bad as it usually did in the morning, for which she was grateful; usually all that strain caused a fitful and restless sleep. With the scarce hours she slumbered, Phoebe only yawned a few times as she prepared to sit up and start the day.

The shorter teen leaned upon her elbows as she tiredly glanced over to the spot next to her. The sheets had been rustled; she then looked over by her desk. Helga's clothes and towel from the evening prior were still present. She grinned to herself; so last night hadn't been a dream.

Phoebe reached under her pillow and took the pink ribbon she had placed there, folding it neatly and sticking it in the pocket of her shorts as she ventured from her room to the hallway and down the stairs. She heard the boisterous giggles trailing from the kitchen, and when she peeked her head in she was surprised but smiled nonetheless.

Her mother and guest hovered over a family photo album she was all too familiar with. Reba held a mug of piping hot coffee while she pointed to one of the pictures in the plastic sleeves; untouched after several years. "Aww, look, here you girls are Halloween of '93. Phoebe wanted to be Doctor Frankenstein so bad and you agreed to be Frankenstein's monster."

"We rocked those costumes. Harold didn't even know it was me when we went trick-or-treating, and I definitely scared him. Pretty sure he pissed himself." Helga grinned at the fond recollection as Reba turned to the next page of photos.

"Good morning; what're you gals up to?" Phoebe quaintly asked as she interrupted their imaginative walk down memory lane.

"Hey Darlin', just looking through some old pictures. I made coffee if you'd like a cup."

"And I made toast!" Helga chimed in as she grabbed a slice from the plate on the kitchen counter and reached her hand up into the cabinet, fetching a mug for Phoebe. She turned and walked up to her friend, holding both out eagerly for the shorter girl.

Phoebe chuckled as she tucked her unkempt strands of hair behind her ears and took the slice of toast and the empty porcelain cup. "Thank you. When did you wake? I do hope I didn't leave you waiting too long."

"Around forty-five minutes ago. You looked so peaceful, I figured I would let you sleep. I just was keeping Reebs company." She responded somewhat sheepishly and moved her hand behind her neck.

Reba cleverly grinned as she overheard the conversation, gently closing the old album. "Yes, my child, I was surprised to see Helga with pink highlights in her hair this morning. But she said the idea was all hers, so, you're off the hook...for now." She raised her brow.

Phoebe noticed the sly look that graced her mother's all-knowing features and blushed, clearing her throat, attempting to change the conversation. "Mother, um, would you mind dropping us off at school around 7:30?"

"Sure, I have nothing going on until noon. I'd be happy to drop you ladies off at school."

Helga beamed a smile, which is something Phoebe rarely saw her do. Maybe Helga didn't get mornings like this; ' **normal** ' mornings. Maybe she didn't get to talk to anyone as she readied for the day or ate breakfast. Maybe she didn't have old photo albums with fond memories in them. If Miss Heyerdahl remembered correctly, most of their albums were filled with Olga. However, she was pleased with the fact that her mother was so persistent at taking a picture of every little milestone in her child's life; which included her blonde friend.

She grinned back at the taller girl; munching into her toast uneasily as she still felt Reba's glance in their general direction.

_**XOXOX** _

Helga wore the clothes she had left at the Heyerdahl residence last week, and thanks to Phoebe, her t-shirt and jeans were no longer caked in flour. She would have to see what kind of money she could scrounge up for a piercing, maybe even some new threads that would go along with the style she had envisioned in her mind. She didn't want to look like a goth or anything, but pink with black seemed to go well together. And Rhonda always said, " _Black never goes out of style."_

_Rhonda._

Helga bit the inside of her mouth as she thought of her longtime friend. They would need to have a talk. A serious one, due to yesterday. It was crazy that so many things could happen in a short amount of time. So many changing feelings. She supposed this was the life of a hormonal teenager; one day, down is up and the next, up is down.

She peered over at Phoebe who was smiling at her when she dispersed of her daydreams. The shorter girl was wearing another band tee along with that dark makeup; all her piercings shimmering in the morning light. "Alright, on the count of three, name your favorite Stephen King movie adaptation. 1, 2-"

"Carrie." The blonde stated confidently.

Miss Heyerdahl moved her violet ribbon-wrapped arms upward in a gasp. "That's my favorite too!"

Helga resisted the urge to smirk and simply raised her brow. "You're just saying that."

"No, no. I'm being completely genuine. Sissy Spacek was marvelous in that movie. You know, it was the first novel that he officially published."

From her peripheral vision, she glanced out the window and at the passing neighborhood; all it's grime and grit so familiar and lovely to her, yet, probably estranged to Phoebe. The blonde suggested quaintly, "We should have a movie night sometime if you're down."

"I'd love that. Mom, what about you? What's your favorite Stephen King movie adaptation?" Phoebe asked as she leaned forward and placed her palms upon the headrest of the driver's seat.

"Hmm, that's a tough one." Reba responded as she wiggled her fingers in thought on the steering wheel. She lifted up her hand to nibble on the nail of her thumb as she pondered while she drove. "I'd probably have to say 'Christine'- _**WAIT**_ _!_ " She paused as her mind scanned the long list of movies collected in her memory. "Nevermind, yeah, that's it."

Helga retorted in a chuckle from the back seat. The two were so dorky and alike. "Good choice, Mrs H."

"Helga, am I picking you and Phoebe up from school today? I don't mind dropping you off at your place afterwards." Reba asked as she peered up at the blonde's reflection in the rearview mirror.

The taller teenager sighed and bit her bottom lip rather disappointedly, because that sounded awesome. Having dinner with the Heyerdahl's could've been in her near future. Sleepovers and movie nights and all that junk. Just like old times. Like she was able to cast out a line and hook into a childhood that fleeted much too quickly, reeling it back into her grasp. "I'd like that, however, I should probably call Olga and have her come. She probably thinks I ran off and joined a biker gang or something."

Phoebe giggled at the comment as she turned her attention back to her friend in the next seat. "What would your biker name be?"

"Legs." She responded quickly, as if she had already come to this conclusion a while ago.

"Just 'Legs'?"

"Yep, just 'Legs'. What about you?"

"Hmm, I'm really intrigued by the name, 'Nova'. It sounds _dynamic_ , yet... _enigmatic_." She wiggled her eyebrows as the glitter in her eyeshadow sparkled in the sky's rays.

Reba chimed in from the front. "I want to be 'MadDog' Reba!"

Helga smiled to herself while she grabbed her notebook and pencil; the vehicle neared the front of Hillwood High. "Well, good, I can call Olga and let her know her speculations were correct."

The sedan rolled up to the curb and Reba shifted the vehicle into park as the two girls exited the car; she perched her head out the driver's side window. "Have a good day, ladies! I'll see you around 3:30, okay, baby?" she called out to her daughter.

"Okay, Mother!" Phoebe responded as she went to the window and pecked her mother on the cheek before Reba pulled away and drove off into the neighborhood.

Helga stood there with her scarce classroom utensils. "I forgot how cool your mom was."

The shorter girl adjusted her knapsack onto her shoulder, her hair, her everything looked superb. She had shifted into that _dark pixie_ look within thirty minutes, while it took Helga practically half-an-hour to budge one foot out of the bed in the morning. "She's secretly a giant dweeb."

"Must be genetic." The blonde jokingly nudged her friend's shoulder as they walked up the staircase and into the building.

Strolling down the hallway of the school, she felt much different than she had yesterday. Her head wasn't pointed down, her hair wasn't covering her nervous facial expression. She felt decent. Especially since she had Phoebe by her side. Is that what she had been missing? Is that where some of this high-school anxiety came from? Not having a side-kick? No, _side-kick_ was the wrong word. Phoebe was her equal. And she did have Rhonda, but Rhonda was more of a walk-in-the-front kinda chick. She led the way.

Helga glanced down at Phoebe who noticed her stare, and smiled back up at her friend as they paid no mind to the students around them. A flutter in the pit of her stomach told her that she _had_ missed this, and her upbeat posture remained until she spotted a familiar face down the hall. She then suggested timidly. "Um...I'll catch up with you later, alright?"

The shorter girl nodded. "I look forward to it." She responded kindly as she then headed towards her class and Helga took the detour over towards the person that filled another part of her daily conscious.

The wealthy teenager placed a book into her locker and began to close the metal cubby. Today she wore tight yoga pants and a thin hoodie along with sporty tennis shoes, and knowing Rhonda, the simple fitness-wear must've costed a small fortune.

"Hey, Rhon', wait up!"

Miss Lloyd turned at the call of her name and gave a rather confused smile. "Hey. What happened to your glasses? And your hair? Did you go to a punk rock concert and not invite me?"

"Nevermind that, it's a long story." Helga said as she inspected the population around them. "Can we...talk somewhere private?"

Rhonda peered over to a nearby door that led to the girl's bathroom, just a couple steps down the hall. "Step into my office." She stated assuredly.

The blonde looked up at the clock above the row of lockers and hurriedly took her friend's wrist since they didn't have much time; rushing them into the bathroom, slipping into a rather confined stall while turning the latch of the door into lock.

The wealthy teenager expressed a cocky smile. "Oh, you want to get frisky in here? It kind of smells like shit more than usual. You'll definitely have to get me a drink later." She said seductively as she pressed her torso against Helga's and placed her hands upon the blonde's hips.

The distressed teenager grabbed her partner's shoulders in a light protest. "No, not that, look. So much has happened since we saw each other yesterday."

"Seems so." Rhonda retorted as she investigated her friend's hair, moving her palm from Helga's hip and lightly taking a strand for further speculation; the pink dye sparkling under the fluorescent lights. "I dig it."

The blonde noticed their close proximity and cleared her throat, tentatively removing Rhonda's hands from her figure as the dark haired girl raised her brow, rather perplexed. She took in a deep breath. "I'm not sure how to say this...but I've been thinking a lot...and…" She groaned uncomfortably. " _ **Criminy**_ , how do I say this?"

"Helga...Say what?"

Her fingers fled in between the strands of her hair as she struggled with the words buried in her lungs. "I...I can't have sex with you anymore; _**we**_ can't have sex, together, anymore. It's not...healthy…" She dropped her hands from her scalp solemnly. "...at least not for me…and it's not just the sex...I think I need to cut back on the drinking and the...weed too...but, I still want to be friends, obviously. If you...want to. We'd just have to be...a different kind of friends."

Rhonda hesitated for the moment and her eyes widened; internally shook by what her longtime crush had uttered. _A different kind of friends._ " _Oh_." She responded rather meekly.

Helga noticed the sudden tension in her friend's disposition. "Are...you alright?'

"What?" She asked, as if her mind had been someplace else, just now entering the present. "Yeah, yeah, sure." She rubbed her arm and managed a forced smile, like her world wasn't shattering. "You know, you gotta' do you."

_Maybe 'here' wasn't the best place to say this_...The blonde pondered as she looked around the stall, vividly remembering their encounter in the PS 118 bathroom all those years ago. Fond memories danced around in her mind at the familiar visuals. _Fuck._

"Is it, uh...because of...someone else?" Rhonda asked in a quaint tone, yet her facial features were troublesome and rigid.

Helga blinked out of her daydream. "No, no, of course not. I just…" She sighed and shoved her hands into her pockets. "I can't keep running away from my problems you know…and sex is…" She then moved a hand to rub the back of her neck awkwardly. How was she so damn good at poetry and then sucked at talking like a normal human being?

"I get it. Its cool." She finally revealed a faint grin; attempting to ease the balance between the two. "I'm really cool with it."

"You sure?"

The wealthy teenager's posture softened a bit. "Yeah, of course. I um, I have to actually go talk to Li-Li before class but, do you want to get lunch together? It'll be my treat." She offered amicably.

The blonde's brows lifted as she opened the stall door, letting the girl slip past her. "Um, yeah. That sounds great."

"Okay." Rhonda smiled until she turned around towards the bathroom door; her eyes closed tight, struggling at the collapse of her esophagus as feelings violently clawed their way up from her heart.

She watched as her friend walked out of the nostalgic space. Even though Rhonda might've been fine on the outside, Helga sensed not everything might've been mutual. She guessed it could've gone worse and maybe they could talk more during lunch. The blonde rubbed her face as she strolled out of the bathroom and stepped back into the hallway, noticing a flock of flaxen colored hair behind a locker door nearby.

_Speaking about not running away from problems…Time to put up or shut up, Helga._

The guilt-ridden teen remorsefully paced over to the boy who seemed to be organizing his metal cubby. "Hey." She spoke, barely above a murmur as she approached him.

Arnold glanced over from his books and notes, his demeanor became curious, yet rather doubtful. "Hey."

"Arnold, I...I wanted to say sorry, for yesterday." She fidgeted with the rings on her notebook as she repented.

"Where'd you go?"

"I-...slipped out while you weren't looking."

He paused and scratched the back of his head, rather confused. "Okay."

She gritted her teeth for a moment before continuing. "I realize you were just trying to help me and...I was being difficult. I just wanted to apologize, and I forgive you for the... _incident_ yesterday."

The footballheaded wonder cracked a grin and chuckled, easing the stress in his longtime oppressor. "I am kind of a shitty throw, so I'm also sorry, about that. However, I still want to pay to get your glasses fixed; hopefully this week if you're available. By the way, how's your ankle?"

A blush ran across Helga's cheeks. She had forgotten about that. "It's, uh...feeling a lot better."

"Good."

There was an awkward silence as the blonde absentmindedly browsed around the hallway then blew out the air from her cheeks. "Well, I should head to class. See ya in the funny papers, Arnoldo."

"Hey, Helga." he responded before she completely altered on her heel and left. "You seem different than yesterday."

She exhaled a humorous scoff and adjusted her crooked glasses. "Uh, yeah, Captain Obvious, I dyed my hair."

"Besides that." He revealed a perceptive, half-lidded, Arnold-y kind of stare. The one that usually made her want to gag. How could he be so formally dense yet gaze into the pit of her soul at the same time? "You seem...happy."

Helga's blush deepened, only this time she decided not to tune him out. He should feel so lucky. "Well...what do you know, footballhead; maybe I'm... _trying_."

He nodded before tending back to his books. "Catch you around, Pataki."

_**XOXOX** _

Helga walked over to Rhonda's locker after her third period; her stomach rumbling. School had gone by like it always had, although this time she tried not to drown out all her teacher's lectures and doodle aimless poems in her notebook. Bliss would be so damn proud.

As she approached, she noticed there was no Princess by the metal cubby, yet a sticky note remained on the small door. The blonde pulled off the small piece of yellow paper and read the written words. " _Waiting for you outside!"_

Her brows lifted slightly as she then turned and headed towards the entrance of the building. As she exited, her eyes widened when she saw her friend leaning against a sporty red convertible at the curb near the bottom of the stairs. It looked like it could go over a hundred miles in a second.

The blonde hesitantly walked down the steps, still taking in the luxurious vehicle. Other students left the high school as well for their lunch period, rather envious as they spotted the piece of the Lloyd affluence. "Wow...I didn't realize we were traveling in style. I would've tweezed my eyebrows." She joked.

Rhonda place a hand on her hip as she ran her fingers over the sleek metal frame. "I told you I was going to surprise you." She responded as she opened the passenger door and then rounded the convertible to the driver's side.

Helga tossed her notepad and pencil into the back and took her seat, gently closing the door, as if any sudden movements could cause a scratch. "Criminy, this is swanky. Your dad is cool with you borrowing it?" She asked as she touched the leather upholstery and the slick dashboard.

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him." The wealthy teenager retorted as she put the keys into the ignition and turned over the engine. It was quiet yet felt powerful.

The blonde scoffed. "Figures." She rested into the comfortable seat as Rhonda pulled away from the curb; closing her eyes, she felt a sudden sleepiness overcome her senses, she didn't get much sleep last night. "You mind waking me up when we get there? I'm just going to rest for a little bit."

"Sure thing."

_**XOXOX** _

A light breeze made her stray strands of hair tickle her nose, arousing her from her peaceful and much-needed nap. Helga yawned as she rubbed her eyes beneath her glasses. When she finally squinted them open, she didn't recognize any of the scenery. The girl immediately became alerted and browsed around. "Um...Where are we?"

"Somewhere outside of Scranton I think." Rhonda responded casually while a soft tune played from the radio, as to not wake her passenger while she drove.

The blonde's eyes widened and her face whipped over to gawk at her friend. "Pennsylvania!?"

"At least it's not New Jersey. Lackawanna County is gorgeous this time of year, my parents use to bring me all the time when I was... _little_." She ended uneasily.

Helga sighed and pressed her head back into the seat. "When you said 'surprise' I thought you meant to 'Long Beach' or something, not to another state!" Not that she didn't like road trips, but did ANYONE know where they were right now? What if something were to happen? The possibilities ran throughout her mind. She glanced over at the clock, it read _**2:13**_. They had been driving for two hours!? Rhonda had better planned the most extravagant picnic of all time from a five star chef, otherwise why was she wasting their time?

The wealthy teenager fidgeted in her seat for the moment and attempted to keep her pleasant composure. "Would you just shush and enjoy the scenery?" she asked as she revved the engine and turned off the asphalt road, into a meadowed area; driving along a dirt path which Helga was sure the vehicle wasn't designed for.

Tires kicked up the gravel as she glanced around the grassy field; it was awfully silent, and awfully people-less. "Is this the spot where you murder me and bury my body?"

Rhonda smirked and let out a chuckle. "No, of course not, dahling, I figured we could take the rest of the day off from that shit-hole known as 'Hillwood High'. Give us a break from all of our bothersome classmates." She reassured.

The blonde craned her head to watch the main road get smaller and smaller as they lengthened their distance. She would try to give Rhonda the benefit of doubt, since the Princess seemed so into this idea in the first place. "Well, this lunch date is really _interesting_ so far."

Miss Lloyd eventually stopped the convertible in a clear area and shifted it into park. She opened the driver side door as she stepped out and Helga did as well. The dark haired teenager closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. "Mmm, don't you just love the weather outside of the city? The air is so much cleaner."

Helga raised her eyebrow, indulging in a sniff. It did smell somewhat nice. "I thought you loved the city."

"I do, but I can appreciate the outdoors as well." She went to the trunk and opened the compartment, handing Helga a picnic basket that had been well prepared. "Why don't you go find us a spot to lounge? Over that way looks nice." She gestured.

The blonde noticed the spot where her friend had pointed, a good view of the vast terrain. "Alright." She responded as she started her stroll into the meadow.

She hadn't been to Pennsylvania much before. Maybe to Pittsburgh once when Bob struck a beeper deal with a client. But then again, that wasn't really a vacation, it was more like 'babysitting'.

Helga walked further until she found a section of ground that would suffice, and set down the picnic basket. She then placed her hands on her hips as she browsed the quiet and tranquil area. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. The weather was nice, not too cloudy, not too sunny, and she was really hungry; if the food was tasty enough she probably wouldn't mind the drive out to the middle-of-nowhere. She stood there until a noisy rustling came from the grass behind her, and soon her arm was linked with Rhonda's. The wealthy teenager pulled her along hastily as they distanced themselves from the clearing Helga had chosen.

The blonde was immediately alerted. "Rhonda, _why_ are we running!?"

A loud blast boomed and echoed throughout the pasture behind them as Rhonda instinctively placed her palm behind her friend's head and they tumbled forward roughly onto their stomachs.

Chunks of fiery metal grazed over their bodies and landed into the sod in front of them, burning into the earth. Helga swiftly raised her head; her eyes widened as she looked behind her, their mode of transportation now engulfed in flames.

The dark haired girl coughed as she wearily pressed her torso up from the ground. She asked her companion, "Are you okay?"

"WHAT THE **FUCK** JUST HAPPENED!?" She frantically exclaimed, as if her body and glasses hadn't already received enough torture from yesterday.

Rhonda laughed faintly and shifted over to her back, staring into the sky which became tainted with the fumes of gasoline and leather. "I, uh, bought us some time, where's the food?" She questioned as she then noticed a smell from over yonder; a slab of metal stabbed into the now blazing picnic basket. "Oh."

Helga was momentarily speechless as she gawked at the vehicle and then back to her delusional partner. "What the HELL is wrong with you!? How did you do this!? _**Why**_ would you do this!? How are we going to get back!? You could've killed us!" She stuttered almost all at once.

The wealthy teenager sighed irritably, her humorous attitude now gone. "Jesus, why do you have to be so neurotic all the time? I figured we could spend more time together; have a little fun. It's just a car."

"For fuck's sake, Rhonda, It's better than being psychotic!" Helga shouted as she moved her hands to the pockets of her friend's yoga pants. Feeling for any kind of beeper or cellular device.

"What're you doing?"

"I'm looking for your phone so we can get the hell back to Hillwood and hopefully not arrested!"

"It's in the car." She stated frankly.

The blonde glared at her, wide eyed, now almost too angry for words. Almost. "Is this some sick plan!? So, what, you could trap me out in the middle of nowhere!? Is this some game to you!? I had the most perfect morning, and of course that was too much to fucking ask for! God, I haven't even contacted Olga in over twenty-four hours, and Phoebe probably thinks I'm avoiding her!"

Rhonda rolled her eyes and pushed herself upward onto her feet, firmly placing her hands on her hips. " _Ever since Phoebe came into town, she's all you fucking talk about."_ She muttered.

Helga scoffed loudly and bolted into a standing position. "Is that what this is about!? This is about your petty jealousy!? I haven't seen her in six years, so yeah, I'm probably going to talk about it for a while, until I finally fucking realize what's going on and adjust to it!"

The wealthy teenager released a jeering chuckle. "I'm not jealous, but I know you. You thought Arnold was your answer to happiness and now you think Phoebe's going to do that too. You think hanging out with her is going to solve all your problems and then you'll feel ' **happy** ' and ' **normal** '." She used her fingers to quote the words she said with much disdain.

The flames of Buckley's sports car raged on in the background, and the blonde's temper smoldered as well. She got up into Rhonda's face, which wasn't difficult since they were practically the same height. " **Fuck. You.** I was a very impressionable kid. And you really want to start being assumptive; acting like I'm some predictable, naive, child!? Because I just HAVE to run from this warm fuzzy little feeling, to THAT warm fuzzy little feeling, otherwise I'll just shatter into a million pieces!? You have me all figured out, huh!?" She flung her arms into the air. "Fine! Let's be assumptive! All you fucking care about is _pot_ , _booze_ and _sex_ , and that terrifies you! You're just afraid that I'm going to leave you for good, and then that's all you'll have left! Because those your best fucking hiding places aren't they!? The darkest fucking corners where no one can see you!"

The dark haired girl bumped her chest into Helga's with bravado and the two glared fiercely into each other's eyes. It was the clash of the year, and none of their classmates were around to see it. " **Fuck.** **YOU!** That is _**NOT**_ all I care about! And I _**DON'T**_ want to _hide from you_!" Her voice broke and her features crumbled as her emotions slipped through the cracks. "But I don't know how... _not to_." She glanced down and mumbled to herself, taking a step back, her once impenetrable guard decaying as she continued. " _That's why I brought us out here, that's why I...planned this."_

"What are you talking about?"

"God fucking damnit, Helga, are you that dense?" She crossed her arms and stared off into the distance of the seemingly endless meadow; speaking the words that crossed her mind on a daily basis and even as she slept. " _...I love you._ "

Helga's reaction was hesitant as her fury and temper still lingered on the surface. "YOU HAD TO BLOW UP A FUCKING CAR TO TELL ME THAT!?"

Rhonda's face hardened again as she took a solid stomp forward and poked the blonde in the sternum. "YOU STALKED ARNOLD FOR SEVENTY-TWO HOURS, DRESSED UP AS A FUCKING PEDOPHILE, TRESPASSED ONTO PRIVATE CORPORATE PROPERTY AND THEN LEAPT OFF A **FUCKING BUILDING**!"

Those last cutting words pushed her into a mental exhaustion as she closed her eyes and then raised her head to the sky, slowly opening them to gaze into it's shapeless clouds while smoke continuously entered the atmosphere; Why did she ever tell Rhonda that?

Miss Lloyd exhaled heavily and calmed her tone. "You of all people should know how hard it is to say some things. I was so tired of all the distractions...keeping me from...telling you my feelings…" She crossed her arms again. "I know, okay? I know I'm relentlessly impulsive when it comes to my vices...and now I'm in the middle-of-nowhere, and I have nothing to divert my attention. It's terrifying...but you're right, it's not as terrifying as losing you. _And when you're_ _ **gone**_ _-_ " The word hit her, deeper than any shred of agony she had felt before. Tears curled over the mascara covering her bottom eyelashes. " _I don't what that to be all that's left..."_

Helga tightened her fists as she ventured into contemplation; thoughts bouncing back to earlier when she walked with Phoebe in the hall. She didn't know why it was so important to her, this...insignificant little thing. But it was, and she felt like if she didn't say it now, she never would. " _If you_ _ **love**_ _me...then why do you always walk in front of me?"_

Rhonda paused and scrunched her brows together. "What?"

"Why don't you walk beside me, Rhon'? That shit fucking bugs me! It makes me feel like I'm alone! Like I'm never going to be as worthy as _Rhonda Wellington Lloyd!_ I just look like I'm that...that creepy _dyke_! That follows Rhonda everywhere around! Ever since the fifth grade!"

"Why would you...use that word? That's...That's crazy." She shook her head softly. "Do you ever think that I walk in front of you to _protect_ you?"

"From what?"

"From **EVERYTHING**!" She threw her hands up into the air as angry tears now stained the blush on her cheeks; the glaze in her brown eyes flaring intensely.

Helga had seen her friend upset before, but never to this extent. She took a step back as Rhonda came closer in suite. "So, that when every ASSHOLE that's hurt you in life, comes up and wants another _fucking_ piece;…after all the sleepless nights and and all the heartache that I've witnessed from your soulless eyes, desperately searching for solace." Her face crumbled again as streams of emotions dripped off her chin. "It'll be them this time...that gets their _**heart. fucking. ripped. out.**_ "

The blonde swallowed roughly as she mentally saturated every aspect of the moment. Another fragment of time she wouldn't be able to run away from; haunting her for the rest of her days. She just hoped she wouldn't regret it in another year...or six...or ten.

With these harboring notions, she made a decision and moved up her arm, placing her clammy palm upon Rhonda's cheek. The dark haired girl flinched at the touch, as if she had never experienced such a gentle feeling on her face before. " _Rhon'..."_

Miss Lloyd let out a troubled sigh and turned away, letting Helga's hand fall back to her side. The blonde remained silent while Rhonda hastily wiped the droplets off her face; walking further from the scene. "We can call you a ride at the gas station two miles down the road." She called back without another glance.

"Call _me_ one?"

"I'm going to walk back. I have a lot to think about." She stated bluntly.

"It'll take you days to walk back."

"Then it takes me days. _Not like I have much of a life to get back to._ "

Helga gazed at her longtime friend and then back to the burning frame of metal that was probably Buckley's sexiest ride. Six years of bottled up emotions; all poured out into the charred grass of a formerly peaceful meadow. A vivid analogy of their relationship. Enticing, new and shiny until it imploded, and fire consumed what they once believed was an euphoric escape.

Sadness crept over her own blue eyes as they reflected the flames of Rhonda's passionate screams and her own moronic ignorance. They had been right next to each other all these years; how the fuck did they get so lost? How the fuck were they so blind? " _How the fuck did it blow up in our faces?"_

_**~2001~** _

She hated the word 'freshman'. First of all, no one said it in a positive tone, it was always used in a negative connotation. Second, it had the word 'man' in it.

Freshmen we're treated differently than the rest of the students; they were treated like dirt, like cretin, well, all except Rhonda Wellington Lloyd. She was the exception, she was regarded like royalty amongst their older peers.

As if the blonde already hated the stares from her fellow classmates; she received them even more when she and Rhonda would eat lunch together. When they walked to class and when they rode the bus alongside each other. As if anyone as homely as she could possibly have a friend as sensational as Miss Lloyd.

Little did Hillwood High know the more seclusive parts of their relationship.

The wealthy teenager had dragged her along to this dumb dance, where all the fake people with their fake happiness danced along with their dumb fake dates.

Rhonda, however, wasn't fake. She just pretended to be.

Helga sat on the bottom step of the gymnasium bleachers, still rather irritated that her friend had persuaded her to wear a dress. She hadn't worn a dress in years. Their compromise was that the blonde would wear the black gown if she could also wear her pink sneakers that she was so fond of throughout junior high. AND NO MAKEUP! Rhonda's voice from earlier played in her conscious.

" _Well, then you have to wear your hair in a ponytail, so everyone can witness your exquisite natural features."_

She bit on her lip as she adjusted her glasses, then took a gulp of the punch from her cup; watching all these prepubescent idiots dance stupidly. She glared at Arnold and Lila with their giggles, and immaculate shimmying, until a familiar face exited its way from the crowd and towards her. She tried to look as uninterested and bored as she possibly could.

Rhonda approached the bleachers and held out her hand. "Would you like to share a dance?"

Helga crossed her arms and glanced around, not noticing the wealthy girl's date anywhere, even though the two girls came together. Her friend garnished a red dress in similar style, dark heels along with a thin black scarf. She wore the makeup that Helga didn't dare apply to her face, and her onyx shoulder length locks were straightened to perfection; her bangs, a smooth edge above her sculpted eyebrows. "What about Blake?"

She simply shrugged. "He can dance with someone else."

The blonde looked up at the speakers that resided on the wall and huffed. _Yeah, the school really went all out_ , she thought sarcastically. Mismatched streamers graced the walls along with a sad disco ball hanging from the middle of the dance floor, yet somehow everyone loved it. "Rhonda, they're playing slow dance music." She pointed out, hoping the dark haired girl would suddenly change her mind.

"So?" She beamed that infamously dazzling Lloyd smile. "Please?"

Helga rolled her eyes and figured she was dressed up anyways. She might as well humor the Activity Club that _obviously_ put so much work into this shindig. At five bucks a pop she thought they would at least be nice and consider spiking the punch bowl. "Fine." She responded as she set her drink aside and stood up, taking Rhonda's hand, but her criticizing demeanor quickly left and nervousness took it's place as her friend led them back out onto the dance floor, maneuvering them through the bodies and to the center.

Miss Lloyd took the blonde's hands and placed them on her shoulders while she placed her own palms just above her friend's hips. Helga blushed and averted her eyes down incase any of their classmates were watching. She didn't want to witness their curious observations as Rhonda started to lead along to the music.

"You look good in my dress...and your shoes. It was a good compromise."

She cracked a small smile at the compliment, intently focused on her pink sneakers. "Thanks."

After a couple moments of trying to ignore the goosebumps that rose upon her nape and swaying along to a favorite slow-paced classic, Rhonda spoke up again. "I'm going to break up with Blake." She stated rather firmly.

Helga finally glanced up into the brown eyes that had been staring at her this whole time. "Why? You guys seem…" She shrugged. "...good together."

A sigh left her partner's lips. "He's taking up too much of my time...and I want to hang out with you more."

The blonde's cheeks reddened further and her hands upon Rhonda's lean shoulder's fidgeted. Not that she didn't want to spend more time with her friend too, but reciprocating those feelings were...difficult. Especially since Blake had invited himself to a couple of their regular hang-out days. She knew this was _**normal**_ ; having boyfriends and stuff, and that Rhonda wanted to look _**normal**_ in front of her parents; not hanging out constantly with the girl from Queens that came from a broken home. Maybe she didn't want to come off as needy or clingy, and that's why it was so hard.

"Chicks before dicks, am I right?"

Helga chuckled quietly to herself. "You probably just want to kiss me again without your _beard_ being there." She teased, the Pataki flare kicking in.

Rhonda grinned and her flawless teeth shimmered off the moving lights of the disco ball. "Well, you are a good kisser. But, it's more than just...messing around and stuff. I like being around you. I _miss_ being around you."

Her posture relaxed some as a taller boy approached them within the dancing crowd, however he had the stature of a twenty-two year old. Stubble on his face and taught muscles reflected this. Helga recognized him as a junior. "Hey, Rhonda." He greeted the wealthy girl.

She peered upward, yet rolled her eyes and her fingers curled tighter on her friend's waist. "Oh, hey, Luke."

"Wanna' dance?" He persisted rather smugly.

"I _am_ dancing."

"I meant with _me_." He then glanced over distastefully at Helga who suddenly lost her pleasant demeanor.

"Nope." Rhonda retorted sharply; she was doing well at pretending he didn't exist by continuing her gaze into the blonde's now worried face. "My current partner is an excellent dancer so far."

He hesitated at her rejection but then chuckled it off. "I love play-hard-to-get girls. Come on." He pursued as he then shoved Helga away; the blonde stumbled out of Rhonda's arms and to the side. He quickly grabbed her hands and placed them upon his broad shoulders. "Just a little dance."

The dark haired girl grimaced at the audacity. "Is your junk really that small that you have to act like a _total_ _ **prick**_ to make up for it?" She sneered as she attempted to yank her wrists away, yet his grip was strong.

He laughed haughtily in response. "Man, its like you know exactly what to say to make me want more. Don't make a scene, Rhon', it's just a dance."

Helga's brows lowered into her sapphire eyes as she scowled at his use of the nickname and violently pushed the side of him, however he was so tall and bulky, the teenager barely inched. "Hey, Fucktard. She says she doesn't want to dance with you."

The large boy glared over with disgust. "Oh, the mute speaks! What're you going to do about it, _**DYKE**_?" He said the word harshly, as if to spit on her while saying so.

She remained uncomfortably quiet as she noticed the dancing students around them begin to stop their movements and stare.

"Shut UP, Luke!" Rhonda exclaimed as he finally let go of her arms, only to glare at the blonde and took a couple steps closer to Helga, towering over her.

"That's a really nice dress, did Rhonda let you borrow it? Shame, because it's true what they say, you can't polish a piece-of- _ **shit**_."

Helga's face sadly scrunched at the piercing words as Rhonda then got in between the two and pushed him away from her friend. "You take that back, **mother fucckkkee** _ **eee**_ _eerrrrr….._."

Seconds bled into slow drips as the deafening sounds of her own breathing overtook all other noises. She could feel everyone's eyes stabbing into her skin, _ugly skin_. Sweat brewed upon her forehead and back as the anxiety took hold. She wanted to run and hide, vanish completely from the world. The blonde closed her eyes and wrung her fists tight, not expecting the voices that fluidly entered her imagination.

" _She's called Ole' Betsy, Dad."_

" _Oh, yeah? What about this one?"_

" _This one is the Five Avengers."_

" _I tell ya what, kid, you keep these puppies fresh and fit and you'll end up just like De La Hoya. You see an opening and then- POW! Right in the kisser!"_

" _Bee, would you quit talking about boxing for two seconds and help me find my tabasco sauce?"_

_The voice grumbled. "One of these days…"_

" _Yeah, Bee, one of these days."_

" _Straight to the moon, Miriam!"_

The voices faded and she exhaled a restless breath as she opened her eyes, releasing the tension in her body; time resuming its normal pace again. The conversation in front of her now completely filling her audible conscious.

" _Yyyyyo_ ou just need a boyfriend that can put you in your _place_."

"I am a lioness! I will _**not**_ be tamed!"

Helga shakily placed her hand on Rhonda's shoulder. "It's alright. I got this." She said as she tilted her neck with a subtle crack and lifted her fists up, pressing her knuckles together as the joints popped as well. Her gloomy expression now fading into one of determination.

Luke bellowed out a mocking laugh. "Oh, no! I'm going to get punched by a little girl!" He crossed his thick arms. "You really want to fight? Fine. I'll even give you a free shot, and then it's _my_ turn."

The blonde altered on her heel and started to strut away, lightly pushing her gawking classmates as they eventually made a way for her to pass through.

He let out another howling cackle. "Oh, look, the baby dyke is scared. That's right, walk away. Buh-bye."

Helga turned to face him, now several feet away. "I'm scared of a lot of things. But I am _**not**_ afraid of you." She took in a large breath and started sprinting back towards the tall bulky teenager, pushing off her toes and leaping up at a closer distance while she raised her arm back; another familiar voice drifting through the fervorous waves of her adrenaline as she watched his egotistical smile leave and Ole' Betsy pummeled directly towards his nose.

" _Helga, violence is never the answer."_

" _Then why does it feel so good, Doc?"_

_**CRUNCH!** _

"AHHHH!" He stumbled back as her feet landed firmly upon the ground; his body colliding onto the dance floor with a _**thud**_ that quickly drowned out into the music. Luke began to cry as blood now streamed from the broken cartilage on his face. "It hurts so much! You bitch!"

"Eat shit, asshole." Rhonda commented as she stood above him and wrapped her arm proudly around Helga's waist, a smug grin creeping its way onto her mouth. The blonde wanted to celebrate her victory as well, however she gripped her wrist as a searing pain now shot up her arm from her hand.

A teacher finally approached, pushing his way through the crowded students. "What on earth happened here?"

"She broke my nose!" He pointed up at Helga as he continued to weep.

The dark haired girl rolled her eyes in annoyance. "It was out of self defense! Why else would she deck his stupid _**punchable**_ face!?"

The teacher adjusted his attire professionally and directed his attention to Rhonda. "That's enough Miss Lloyd, I'm going to have to ask you and Miss Pataki to call your parents immediately and leave the premises, otherwise I will."

She threw her arms up in protest. "This is bullshit! We have to leave because dick-for-brains couldn't take **no** for an answer!?"

Helga's eyes widened slightly as she was sure everyone in the room now stared at her furious friend. Damn, Rhonda was really going at it.

"Miss Lloyd, I will not tolerate that kind of language."

"Oh, so it's okay for him to call her a bitch!? You'll be hearing from my father's fucking lawyer." She then leaned down to grab Luke's collar and lifted his torso up from the ground. " _And you'll get what's coming to you."_ She whispered threateningly and pressed her palm into his face. He yelped another scream of agony as she let go of his clothes and his shoulders dropped back onto the floor.

Rhonda hastily grabbed Helga's uninjured hand and pulled her towards the exit of the gymnasium, kicking the large metal doors open with her heel. Once they were outside, she yanked her cellphone out from the small purse on her hip. "They think they're so above it all. Sexist-ass school."

The blonde silently sat down on the curb outside of the high-school as the wealthy girl quickly dialed her father on her cellular device. She attempted to move her aching fingers. Her hand was bright red, yet she disclosed a minute smile. Remembering Luke Haswell bleeding onto the dance floor. Probably the only time she enjoyed her classmates staring at her.

"Hey, Mommy, you're going to have to come pick us up early…" She sighed and tapped her foot with annoyance. "They kicked us out because Luke Haswell was harassing me and Helga punched him in the face…" Her expression then lifted and she chuckled. "I know, I don't like his family either…" Rhonda laughed out loud. "You'll have to tell me that story on the way home...Okay, love you, see you soon." She closed the flip phone and sat down next to Helga. "How's your hand?"

Helga attempted moving her fingers and winced. "It'll be fine."

A cordial grin found it's way upon her cherry-colored lips. "No one's really stood up for me like that before. I mean, of course I stand up for myself, but, sometimes I feel like my words just get drowned out."

"We're friends, ya goof. Of course I'll stand up for you." The blonde responded as she averted her eyes from her hand and to Rhonda's. "No one's really stood up for me either." She exhaled a faint laugh. "You were terrifying. It was awesome though."

The wealthy teenager curled her fingers into a claw and winked. "Rawr." She dropped her hand and put the cellphone back into her purse. "By the way, your hand is going to get the BEST ice bath EVER tonight, along with many massages."

Helga wanted to continue smiling, and ponder forward in time to a soothing ice cube rubbing, however insults from earlier festered back into her mind and she stared off into the dark empty parking lot of the high school.

"Don't let what he said get to you. It's not true." Rhonda paused as her brown eyes fidgeted with the right words to say. "I think you're beautiful, in and, especially out of the dress." She then heard the noise of the gymnasium doors opening and a couple students strolled by as they left the dance, one had a drink in his hand. "Oh, one moment." She stood up and skipped over to them as they headed to their ride, awaiting further down the curb.

The blonde couldn't hear what Rhonda was saying as she greeted the classmates and then rather dramatically, acted out the whole scene that happened just minutes before with Luke. The group laughed pleasantly and the young man nodded, handing her his drink.

She walked back to Helga and sat down; ripping off her scarf, dumping the cool cubes from the cup into it, then wrapped the fabric into a little ball. "May I?" She asked kindly.

The injured girl calmly moved her hand over and Rhonda took it in hers, placing the chilling scarf over her friend's bruising knuckles. "Better?"

" _Yeah…_ "

Miss Lloyd gazed at her companion's face for a couple moments before confessing from the bottom of her little fourteen year old heart. Which is something she rarely, if ever, did. " _Helga Pataki, you're the best friend I've ever had."_


	10. Black - Part 2

_**~2003~** _

The blonde stared at her feet for most of the journey back; kicking rocks here and there that scattered across the lonely asphalt paved road. Buckley's convertible now far behind them; a faint cloud of dark smoke lingering above the trees was it's only remembrance as the fire died off and burned what was left of the expensive vehicle.

Rhonda led the two; her usually confident demeanor now gone as it reflected in her posture. She sulked somewhat while she trudged down the path to the nearest gas station.

Sparse cars passed them, none questioning their motives. Or the fact that the edges of their clothes had been burnt and frayed. So they were left with mostly silence and the subtle noise of nature surrounding them.

Helga let out a breath as the afternoon sun beat down on her head, and sweat wrung around her chest and back. She lightly shook her head to herself, thoughts crawling back to earlier. How could Rhonda throw the Arnold thing back in her face? And then somehow skew that into what was happening with Phoebe?

She didn't know what was going on with her and Phoebe's delicate relationship. Did she want to pursue it further? Yes. But she didn't think it would fix her. Maybe she just wanted to have a good time; bring back some of that childhood she had lost. There were no other ulterior notions.

Was Rhonda really that insecure? She seemed perfectly fine earlier in the bathroom. The lanky teenager rolled her blue eyes and brought her hand to her forehead to wipe off beads of perspiration. Obviously NOT fine.

Then it hit her. ' _Oh God, was I the Arnold in this situation?_ _Was I really so dense that I couldn't see it this whole time?_ ' She glanced back up at her companion's back, Rhonda's thin grey hoodie darkened by her own sweat. ' _And of course, I FREAKED, just like Arnold had so many years ago. How was I so...so...oblivious?'_

It wasn't much longer that they reached the station along the lonely road. Worn down by decades of tourism, the establishment still held a certain charm to it. And it appeared as if a small diner had been connected at some point in time; like two buildings smushed together. The two girls entered, grateful for the air conditioning and fans that greeted them. One of the employees walked up, but with his ugly tie and fluffy brown mustache he looked more like a manager. "Goodness gracious, you ladies look like you've been through hell and back!" He exclaimed as he rubbed his polished bald head in surprise. "What can I do for ya'?"

Rhonda grinned weakly and combed her fingers through her hair, letting a few ashes fall from her black locks. "We've been walking for a while and don't have any money…" She exhaled and crouched down, untying the laces of her shoes and Helga's eyes widened to witness the wealthy teenager slip out of the sneakers and pick them up. "But...these tennis shoes are from Nancy Spumoni's Fit Collection Fall '02; even pre-owned they're worth five hundred dollars. We'd definitely appreciate it if we could get some food and a phone call."

The large bellied manager crossed his arms. "Shit. Did you two escape from one of those backwoods cults? Look, don't worry about it, find a booth in the diner and sit down. I'll bring you ladies some food." He responded as they glanced over into the dining area and he turned to walk into a back room of some sorts.

The girls walked over and sat down at one of the red plastic booths, letting their anxious eyes graze upon every detail in the establishment, but each other. ' _Quaint place_.' The blonde thought as Rhonda bent over the side of her seat to put her shoes back on.

Once she sat up, the wealthy teenager fiddled her thumbs together and continued to browse around, eventually looking over by the cash register. "The um...the phone's over there." She gestured quietly, afraid her words might cause another argument.

Helga peered over as well but sighed aloud. "I'm not going to leave you. God knows you probably would get picked up by a cult without me here. Or start _leading_ one."

"I thought you...definitely hated me."

She sniffed and adjusted her crooked glasses; staring intently at her hands upon the well-used table. "I um...I don't hate you." She started off, figuring out how to continue. "I'm...I'm sad...I'm sad you felt like you had to hold in these feelings for who knows how long...and I'm sad because I held in mine for Arnold...probably even longer than that. I'm sad because...you felt like you couldn't say it without..."

"Looking like a complete psycho?" Rhonda interrupted with a crooked grin, finding her sad state of affairs somewhat humorous.

Helga stopped talking, silent with her thoughts.

The dark haired girl responded calmly. "Helga, It may be hard to believe, but I want what you want. I want to escape the...god, how could you even describe it?"

"Dark...smoke hazed room?"

Rhonda paused for a second but nodded in agreement. "The dark smoke hazed room. But...that room has been my entire life. When the most prominent... _aspect_ is removed from me...who am I?"

Helga nibbled on the side of her lip before uttering her more profound thoughts. "...You may not see or know yourself, but I do, even in the darkness. You're an incredible, ambitious person...and you've been stagnant and you're noticing that. Some people don't notice that they're meant for much more. So...I think that means you care about yourself." She reached for Bliss' wisdom in the corners of her mind, even though she definitely wasn't someone who should be giving out advice.

"I thought if I could make my parents happy; you happy, then I'd be happy. I don't know what to do when it doesn't turn out that way."

The blonde grumbled as so many of those Bliss sessions came back to her all at once. The woman had been annoyingly right about everything, and she was rather despaired that her former therapist wasn't sitting at the table with them right now. She would know exactly what to say. "You make yourself happy..." She absentmindedly flicked the silverware on the table. " _Trust me...it's not easy._ "

Rhonda pursed her lips at the compliment. "You think I'm _ambitious_?"

Helga let a small smile creep through. "I envision you being the CEO of a big major corporation someday. A powerful, _sexy_ woman."

"Oh yeah?" The wealthy girl chuckled gently. "And where would you be?"

She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes, sulking into the plastic seat. "Shit if I know."

Rhonda placed her hands together in playful thought. "Well, I think you'd become a hippie. Living out in a cabin in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere. I'd have to fly in one of my fancy 'very sexy and powerful' helicopters to come visit you."

They both grinned for the moment before Helga's disappeared. Who was _she_? She _thought_ she was Helga G. Pataki. A rootin' tootin' she-devil from the bowels of Olga's forgotten awards and trophies. But maybe there was something else inside her. Maybe something that only Phoebe and Arnold had pinpointed with their rose-colored goggles. Maybe she was...nice. Maybe she was...caring. The idea made goosebumps trail upon her spine.

She apprehensively inhaled, and with a clammy palm, reached across the table for Rhonda's right hand; taking it into her own. This... _young woman_ had sacrificed a lot to tell her three simple words. She would not be the Arnold in this situation. "Look...I'm terrified of losing you too. You never gave me a reason to doubt how much you wanted me in your life. That's something that was so _**rare**_ for me...and it's horribly addicting. Most of the time when I was having a bad day, all I wanted to do was run to you. Have you fuck me until I was senseless, and get so numb off of weed and alcohol. Maybe...maybe I don't know who I am either...without it. Without _you_."

Rhonda saturated the words and stared down at their hands, brushing her thumb over her companion's skin reassuringly. She stated her words confidently, as they had been floating around in her mind for a while. "You're Helga G. Pataki. You kick so much ass without even trying, yet...you're incredibly human. You're my best friend. You're…" She released a shallow breath. " _You're my fuckin' heroine._ " Her voice cracked as the waiter came up and noticed their affectionate gesture.

"Ah, it was one of those cults, huh?" He set down the servings of steaming hot food in front of them along with two waters. "Chef's choice. Plus that meat is going to expire tomorrow, so now I have a reason to get rid of it for no charge."

"Thank you." The dark haired teenager spoke up before Helga could say anything and their hands parted as they tended to the burgers on the plates.

"Don't mention it!" He called back as he walked away.

The two girls dug into the meal. Helga, a little more rambunctiously since all she had this morning was toast and coffee. She could've eaten more, but browsing through the Heyerdahl family photo album seemed like a better distraction.

Rhonda repressed a giggle as she watched the grease drip over her friend's mouth as the blonde took another hearty bite. Sure she was hungry too, but another feeling of satisfaction filled her insides; her appetite could momentarily wait. "By the way, everything I did for you; the sex, the weed, the alcohol...It was all out of love. So you didn't have to...remember..."

The blonde swallowed her big bite uneasily, staring back into Rhonda's vulnerable brown eyes. ' _Now was the time to say something...nice, Helga ole' girl.'_ "Well...I- I appreciate that...but I'm not abusing your love anymore. And you shouldn't let anyone do that to you, even me, because...you are so much more than your status and money."

The wealthy teenager felt her skin flutter at the words and she took a polite munch into her own delicious greasy burger. The sounds of their chewing, and sips from drinking, were the only noises currently in the diner besides the old rotating fans and creaky air ducts.

"You wanna know something else?" Rhonda asked after she swallowed.

"Hmm?" Helga mumbled as she took another bite of her sloppy meal.

"I think you're _crazy_ drop dead gorgeous."

The lanky girl immediately choked on the food in her esophagus and quickly grabbed for her water, hoping to wash over the frantic reaction of her body.

Rhonda smirked proudly to herself. "This truth stuff is pretty cool."

Miss Pataki rolled her eyes playfully after she managed to swallow the bun trapped in her surprised throat. She attempted not to smile.

The wealthy teenager then sighed as she set down her burger and looked over at the phone by the register again. She requested kindly. "Walk with me...just a little longer. And then we'll hitch a ride back into the city. _Both of us._ "

_**XOXOX** _

They trudged on a couple more miles; less silently as the two reminisced on favorite moments of their youth. When finally a car pulled over along the side of the deserted path; it's two passengers an elderly couple.

The woman poked her head out the passenger side window. "You ladies look like our grandson's age! Do you need a ride?"

"Where you all headed?" The man asked.

Rhonda walked up to their vehicle, since she was the better negotiator and people-person in general. "Oh yes, that would be splendid. If you're headed towards New York City, we're going to a little neighborhood called Hillwood, right by Queens."

"Oh, I think I've heard of that one before. We're headed to Connecticut for our Grandson's acceptance into Yale. The whole family is celebrating! We can drop you off on the way there!" He exclaimed in a friendly tone.

"Oh, congratulations! That's so awesome! Thank you!"

The two girls got into the back of the vehicle and attempted to get comfortable on the maroon velvet covered seats.

"Hope you like Johnny Cash!" The driver said as he glanced into the rear view mirror and started to pull away from the side of the road.

Helga felt optimistic; she was pretty sure with her fists and Rhonda's well...wacky spontaneity, they'd be able to take out these two geezers just incase they were secret axe-murderers.

"Oh, Ray, we've been listening to that darn tape since we left Chicago!" The older woman chided.

"It's my favorite tape!"

The blonde browsed out the window and spotted the nearest mile marker; from her small knowledge of Pennsylvania, they must've had around an hour and a half left until they would reach Hillwood again. She breathed out a huff of air, at least now they had wheels.

She peered over at Miss Lloyd who gazed out her own window. Rather reserved with her thoughts, which was a rarity. Helga glanced up at the elderly couple and discreetly scooted closer to her friend, quietly taking Rhonda's wrist, lifting it over her golden head as she rested it onto her shoulder while leaning into her friend's side.

The wealthy teenager's eyes widened in surprise at the gesture but smiled at the flicker of normalcy. Something she longed for but could never seem to reach. She pulled Helga closer in response.

" _How much do you think your dad is going to kill you?"_ The blonde whispered, casually snuggling into her partner's side, as if this were an everyday thing. Was it so wrong to want to be _**normal**_ for a goddamn hour or two?

Rhonda chuckled lowly. " _I'll probably be grounded for a year. Not to mention, the insurance won't cover it."_ She then exhaled heavily. " _It's fine. It'll be a change, but I'll have to be okay with it. Not being able to do whatever I want all the time."_

" _You're going to have to sneak out because I don't think I'll be able to climb to your bedroom window on the twentieth floor to visit you."_

Miss Lloyd bounced her perfect eyebrows. " _We'll see."_

They both listened to 'Cocaine Blues' play over the stereo and Rhonda grinned to herself, her fingers grazing over the burnt edges of her friend's t-shirt. Helga had every right to hate her, but somehow she didn't. Not being hated...felt nice.

After a couple moments, the blonde spoke up softly again. " _You're warm you know."_

She inquisitively looked down at her companion. " _What?"_

" _Your body. It's always warm."_ Helga reiterated, shifting slightly under the touch of her partner. A faint blush rose upon her cheeks at the words that escaped her conscious.

The wealthy teenager smirked and sunk deeper into the car seat, pulling Helga lower with her. " _You know what I like the best about your body?"_ She asked promiscuously.

" _Oh, criminy."_ The lanky girl muttered as she anxiously peered up at the older passengers of the vehicle, instantly regretting her confession, yet a smile resided on her lips.

" _Those little dimples above your ass cheeks; drive me_ _ **wild**_ _."_

Helga snickered and lightly nudged Rhonda in the ribs. " _You only stuck around me for my ass dimples."_

" _Well, you apparently craved my warmth."_

The blonde hesitated then stared up into Miss Lloyd's brown eyes. Eyes that were usually darkened by the barriers of popularity and prestige. However now they sparkled with hues of amber, reflecting uncommon susceptibility. " _It reminded me that...the world wasn't as cold as it seemed."_

Rhonda just grinned genuinely at her friend and squeezed their bodies closer. Brushing her hand up and down Helga's arm to in a comforting attempt to warm her up as she gazed back out the window, knowing the normalcy wouldn't last for long, but maybe all the craziness to get to normalcy was worth it.

_**~2002~** _

She was drunk, but not drunk enough as a young man from her drama class stood a little too closely as he went on and on about his successful audition for Macbeth in their high school's rendition of well, Macbeth.

Rhonda took a polite sip of her drink as she adjusted the large crown atop her head and shifted in her black gown. She was bored of this dull conversation and her mind began to brew a headache. Her eyes wandering for Helga in the partying crowd of her parent's penthouse; her thoughts pondered an escape from this 'shmo'.

When she noticed the flicker of the red mask and shimmering crimson pants, she smiled and handed the alcoholic beverage to her classmate. "I must tend to my other guests." She interrupted his ramble and walked away.

The hostess made her way towards the blonde as she observed Iggy talking to her tipsy friend. Hearing bits of their conversation as she neared closer, speculating the old worn pink cotton of his bunny suit; ' _Christ, what was he, eight years old?'_ She really needed to stop being so lenient on these invitations and start weeding out the un-cools.

"So, yeah, you should totally come back to my place. We can, you know, see what happens?" He asked as he shuffled nervously in his costume and took a sip of the drink in his hand.

Helga chuckled to herself, her rosy cheeks brimmed with intoxicated humor, even though no one could see it. "You're saying you...w-want to hook up with _me_?"

He shrugged and disclosed a small grin. "Yeah, why not? You're pretty rad, Pataki."

Rhonda interrupted the conversation that was making her nauseous. "Excuse us, Iggy, I must borrow Helga. Pressing lady matters." She said briefly as she took her friend's wrist and led them away from the young man in the bunny suit.

Iggy groaned rather audibly as he watched them walk away in the crowd. "Real COOL, Rhonda!"

The wealthy hostess brought them outside to the balcony where sparse classmates resided, either for a smoke or a nap on the patio furniture. "Did you see that?" Helga exclaimed as Rhonda reluctantly let go. "He totally wanted a piece of this!"

The dark haired girl sighed. "Before you make any rash decisions, let's just...take in some fresh air.." She placed her hands on her hips and took in a lungful of the brisk night atmosphere herself.

The lanky teenager snorted and swayed her drink around, it's contents splashing about. "Are you...Are you _jealous_?"

"Helga, you're super drunk."

"You- You're drunk." She laughed awkwardly and took a gulp of the alcoholic liquid.

Rhonda rolled her eyes and brushed the sleeves of her gown. "Not drunk enough, apparently." She winced at the looming headache that scattered across her brain from her drama partner's shpiel earlier.

Helga hummed a little tune and wobbled, finally thrusting her arms into the air; her drink sloshed again. "Fuck it! I- I haven't felt this great in a really long time! Y-You know what I wa- want right now?"

The hostess slyly smiled, knowing her companion was probably so intoxicated, she could say whatever she wanted and the blonde wouldn't remember. "What is it, Precious?"

Helga stuck out her pointer finger and it danced along to some random melody in her head. She eventually pointed to Rhonda. "You. You look fucking hot in that getup. Like you're about to...behead some peasants or some shit. It's bitchin'." She chuckled to herself and took another swig of her drink.

"You want _me_?" The wealthy teenager asked skeptically. Sure they fooled around, but most of the time it came from boredom, or the spikes of hormones they frequented at their age. Most of it was initiated by her, since she felt...a certain _affection_ for her fond hellion recently.

Was it a crush…? Was it... something more? Not like she could turn to her parents with such questions. Helga didn't have a lot of money. She wasn't a model. And she wasn't some chiseled rich boy gallantly riding up on a white horse.

It took being around Helga on a daily basis to realize that she actually could enjoy the simpler things in life. Like eating corn dogs on the blonde's bed watching a movie and falling asleep on the crumbs. Or sitting with her friend on a disgusting bus to Dinoland for half-price day.

Is this what that _something more_ was…? Not giving a shit about anything around but the person you were with? It felt good...to not give a shit.

"Did I s-stutter, Princess?"

Rhonda took a dignified step and came in closer, her lips smirking. "I'm a queen tonight." She said as started to care less, staring into Helga's blue eyes through thick lenses and red eye holes from the mask. She calmly placed her hands on the girl's bare waist.

Helga raised her hand in the air only to nonchalantly toss her drink somewhere past them, onto the ground of the balcony, maybe over the ledge, who knows, and drunkenly wrapped her arms around the hostess's neck. "Prove it. _Fuckin' throw me against this wall and take me, like a queen_." She egged on.

Rhonda's smug grin deepened and she moved her hand to scoot the blonde's glasses from her eyes, upward to rest on the top of her head. " _If I'm going to take you, I want to be the only thing you see right now."_

"Well you're in luck, because I see _two_ of you."

The wealthy teenager pushed her partner backwards until they hit the exterior of the penthouse and she pressed her there. Helga let out a humored gasp, her breath, saturated with alcohol and something fruity. Rhonda brought her nose closer. "Is that Sheena's vegan ambrosia salad?."

"Yep. You want a taste?"

She paused but she did not let her hesitation reflect in her determined features. They hadn't kissed since that time when they were thirteen. Sex was cool, but she often found herself fantasizing _more_. Kissing was special; she felt it had more substance. And even though she had kissed her whatever-boyfriend 'Blake' in the past, she always wanted it to be Helga's lips that she was sampling.

Was that...weird? God, why was she thinking so much right now when this golden jewel was right in front of her, wanting _more_?

The Queen gritted her teeth and exhaled a warm breath before pressing her mouth to the Luchador's; she lost all inhibitions and her mind stopped. All she could focus on were the tender flavors of her friend's vermillion colored skin as she drew in each passionate motion and lick.

Helga's fingers went to the hostess's hair and tangled within Rhonda's smooth jet-black locks. The crown shuffled on her head as she muttered in-between the heated gestures of their burning desires. " _Mmm, your lips taste so good; your mouth tastes so good; you taste so good..."_

" _Mmm...shaddup."_

Continuing their zealous oral motions, the wealthy teenager reached down and grabbed her companion's thigh, bringing it up, wrapping it around the side of her hip, pushing the blonde firmer against the wall.

Several lustful moments later, Helga finally pulled her mouth away and mumbled, " _L-Let's go to your room."_

Rhonda revealed a gratified smile and let go of her thigh, only to take her guest's hand and they swiftly moved back in, through the teenagers of the crowded penthouse, eventually reaching a hallway and hostess's bedroom.

As Helga stumbled over to the queen-sized bed, Rhonda opened the compartment of a nearby dresser to find a 'Do Not Disturb' knob-hanger she had for such occasions and placed it onto the door, quietly closing it while she watched the blonde fumble out of her pants and gawkily unbind her chest. She flopped onto the bed and chuckled into the satin sheets. " _I m-may need some help._ "

The dark haired girl strolled over and pushed aside the sheets of her made bed, helping Helga lie back on the mattress. She wiggled and eventually her head found the pillow of the right side. Rhonda repressed a giggle as Helga forgot to take off the luchador mask or her glasses atop her head. Her guest mumbled as her eyelids became heavier. " _I want you to t-touch me and...k-kiss me..."_

Rhonda stared into Helga's half lidded eyes, glazed over with heavy intoxication. A twinge erupted in her stomach. As much as she wanted to continue this...ride of rousing feelings, she couldn't with her friend's current state. It wouldn't be right. And she cared for Helga much more than her own selfish satisfactions.

The hostess bit her bottom lip and sighed, grabbing the sheets and tucking the blonde's practically naked form into the bed. She pulled off her partner's glasses, folding them and placing them on the nearby nightstand. " _Okay, Precious. I'm going go to the bathroom and rip off this silly gown, and come out looking so sexy for you. You just wait here, okay? Don't go anywhere."_

Helga sleepily grinned and slowly gave a thumbs up. " _C-Cool beans."_

Rhonda smiled faintly as she walked over to her bathroom and closed the door, setting down her crown onto the counter. She closed her eyes tightly, still dealing with the pain from that incessant headache.

She turned on the faucet and splashed cold water onto her face. Attempting to not smear her makeup as she dabbed her cheeks with one of the bathroom towels. She then grabbed a nearby glass for gargling and filled it up with water; took some aspirin from the medicine cabinet and placed it into her mouth. She drank the cool liquid and swallowed the medicine, placing the crown back atop her head and left the bathroom, setting the glass of water and aspirin by the nightstand where Helga now slept.

Rhonda smiled at her companion's subtle snores. She was hoping the blonde would fall asleep. Away from Iggy, away from...well, everyone else. She licked her lips, gathering what taste of Helga she had left, and sat on the bed, gently moving a hand behind her flaxen colored head, unraveling the velcro that bound the mask to her friend's face.

She removed the scarlet veil and set it aside next to the bi-focals. Gazing into Helga's slumbering features. Something she felt like she could do forever.

Shit, she was a sap. It was a damn good thing she was so great at hiding it.

The hostess silently took off her shimmering crown, resting it above her partner's head on the large pillow. " _This suits you much better…"_ she whispered cordially as she then got up and left the room, closing the door behind her. Reluctantly trudging back into the area of the party.

How she would love to just pass out next to Helga right now. Maybe sneak in a cuddle since the lanky teenager was so drunk she wouldn't have even noticed. But she had an affair to tend to, and she had to make sure everyone got the fuck out in a couple hours. Cleanup was shitty, but Curly always helped out with that part. And speaking of the young man himself...

The dark haired boy poked his head up from a gathering of classmates by the living room sofa and called over. "Hey, Rhonnie! Arnold took off all of his clothes and fell asleep on the couch holding a chia pet! We're all doing shots off of his butt crack! You want to do one?"

She laughed pleasantly. "Hell yes! Pour me a double, dahling." She responded as she skipped over and moved through the crowd.

Curly grabbed the handle of liquor on the coffee table and poured a tall shot of tequila, lightly squeezing it between Arnold's fuzzy butt as the footballhead snored between the cheers of teenagers crowded around his naked form.

"Thank you, love." She said as she knelt down onto her knees and placed her arms behind her back.

She bent forward and licked the scattered salt off one of his ass cheeks, placed her mouth around the rim of the glass, lifted her head back and gulped down the liquid. The group around her applauded again as she handed over the shot glass to her friend and grabbed one of the football-shaped limes upon Arnold's spine, placing it into her mouth. She then groggily stood up; the painkiller and alcohol coursing its way through her body.

Rhonda pushed her way towards the kitchen, her stomach rumbling from the lack of food. And speaking of food, she spotted and tapped her finger against the shoulder of a taller girl amongst the exuberant guests in her living room. A very sober Sheena was casually conversing with a very drunk Ruth McDougall. Rhonda shouted over the music. "Great salad, by the way!"

Sheena's face lit up happily and she nodded as Rhonda ventured back towards her destination. Everyone was having a great time as usual, and here she was, still thinking too much. Still not drunk enough. She really needed to stop that.

Harold's unconscious torso lied on the kitchen island as the barstool barely supported his lower half. He had a bag of Cheesy Poofs in one hand and a half-smoked joint in the other. Rhonda happily grabbed the roach and put it into her mouth, finding a lighter nearby on the cluttered island and lit what marijuana was left in the rolled papers. She drew in a large inhale and breathed out a sigh of relief when she started to dig into the bag of junk food. Pondering back to Helga's scrumptious body, just waiting for her to sleep next to later. Until Iggy caught up with her.

"Yo, Rhonda. Where'd Helga go?"

She resisted the urge to immediately snarl. He was like a pestering gnat. "Hmm, pretty sure she left." She responded with an uninterested tone.

"She left? How? She was plastered!" He exclaimed in the loud kitchen. The music blasting from the living room didn't help much either.

The wealthy hostess inhaled the joint again and held the smoke in her lungs as she talked. "She took a cab. So, unfortunately she won't be joining you tonight." She blew out the tantalizing flumes. "Maybe she didn't wanna' fuck a dude in _bunny pajamas_." She ended rather coarsely and took a bite of cheesy poof as he glared at her. "Did that thought ever cross your mind?" She scowled back and it was a stare off.

Realizing that he was going to get nowhere with this argument, the boy let out a defeated grumble and stomped away. "Whatever."

Rhonda smirked haughtily to herself as Curly made his way through the drunken teenagers and to her side. He was wearing a shining king's outfit with high heels, golden eyeshadow, and a brilliant scepter.

She glanced over at him. "Damn, I keep saying this, but you were right. You look amazing in those heels and that glitter."

He gave a joyous twirl. "I know, right!? And thank you so much for letting me borrow them. By the way, where's your main squeeze? I'm sure she'd just LOVE to see Arnold like that out there."

"She's in my room, sound asleep." She pointed at her friend with a lowered tone. " _If anyone even THINKS about going in there, you stop them, and they answer to_ _ **me**_ _."_

He took off his crown and bowed respectfully. "As you wish, my queen."

"Well, well, well, _Rhonda Wellington Lloyd_." A voice greeted mockingly as it entered the space of the kitchen.

The dark haired girl immediately turned, and when she saw his punchable face, his crooked nose, her fading headache ruptured into an inferno of irritation; the sharp pain surging into anger. She blurted out without another thought. "Oh. My. God. You have got to be shitting me." She responded in disgust and called out angrily. " **Who let the TRASH in!?** "

"Your baby dyke isn't here to protect you now." Luke said as he walked up to the hostess with his arms crossed and two older boys next to him. His moronic minions.

Curly twirled his scepter as he intruded in on the confronting conversation. "Oh, well honey, she's got the next best thing! _**A faggot**_."

Rhonda scoffed, her temper rising even further, like she was about to explode with the surge of adrenaline. THIS WAS HER HOUSE, GODDAMIT! THIS WAS **HER** PARTY! THE **FU-CKING** AUDACITY! "Are you ugly AND stupid? What were you planning to do, Luke? Come to my home and kick my ass in front of all these people? Or roofie me and take me out to your truck? Were you really going _**teach me a lesson**_? Is that the best you dopes thought up in your pea brains!?" She shouted, enough for everyone in the kitchen to stop what they were doing and stare. It even woke Harold up as he woozily lifted his head from the island.

She continued before he could respond. "Or are you still trying to get that dance?" She took an inhale of the roach. "You know, I'm getting real sick and tired of your homophobia, and your bruised fuckin' ego." She furiously flicked the lit joint at him and he flinched as it grazed his arm and fell to the floor. "You want to really walk into the lion's den, huh? With your little _groupies_?"

Curly grinned devilishly. His wild eyes sparkling as he crept up beside his queen. "I'll dance with him." He said jabbing Luke in the thigh with his scepter.

Rhonda snorted loudly, the glares of her guests at the ill-favored teenager edging her on like fuel to the flames. "I'm going to end this before it even starts, because you're just a **sheep**!"

He replied weakly. "Yeah, well…" He mumbled, now nervous and peered around at all the classmates who obviously didn't want him there either. "You're a...you're a p-pompous bitch!"

"You forgot **crazy**." She glanced over and grabbed an almost empty beer bottle from the cluttered island, bringing it to her lips to consume the rest of the fizzy drops. She then lifted up her arm and smashed the container against the edge of the butcher's block; the bottle shattered as shards sprinkled onto the ground. The hostess pointed the broken glass in his direction as she held the neck. "Oh, would you look at that? _I'm all out of fucks to give_."

The lackeys became anxious as their confident demeanor faded quickly. "Dude, this was a bad idea."

"I told you we shouldn't have come here!"

Rhonda took a step forward, holding her improvised weapon firmly. "Luke, I'm going to end this conflict once and for all. You come near me again. You come near my friends again. Expecting some sort of apology. Expecting anything, anything at all. _You'll regret it._ "

It was then that the voice of reason entered the room. Well, if reason was horribly befuddled and buck-naked. "Can someone walk me to the bus stop? I don't feel so good." Arnold muttered, rubbing his eyes like a lost child.

Luke grimaced in defeat; his plan of...whatever it was that he planned, had failed. "Come on, let's get out of here." He said to his two stooges and they headed towards the exit of the kitchen, bumping the confused footballhead on the way out.

Rhonda and Curly walked up to the lost young man and the dark haired girl crossed her arms. She usually made it very evident that all indulging guests at her parties should have a chaperone in-case situations like this were to occur. "Where's Gerald?"

Arnold's bloodshot eyes winced at the fluorescents from the kitchen ceiling. "I don't know, I can't find him."

"Where are your clothes?" She asked again as the fabulous king shook his head. Speculating the blond's bare form now in full view.

"I'm pretty sure I saw him toss his costume over the balcony a while earlier."

Rhonda rolled her eyes and scoffed. "And you didn't stop him?"

"No, it was highly entertaining."

She irritably glared down at her friend.

"What? Oh, darling, don't give me that look! Why don't let him borrow some clothes? I can search the wasteland of your penthouse for his suitor!"

The wealthy teenager sighed loudly and grabbed Arnold's wrist, leading them out of the kitchen and into the congregation of drunken classmates. "I am so tired of babysitting children that are not mine! I swear, I am not having another party for a long time. Maybe not even until next summer!"

He called out before the two were completely lost in the crowd. "While you help Mr Silly Willy, I'll make sure the 'sheeps' let the door hit them on the way out!"

Rhonda crossly pushed the physical noodles of people out of her way, eventually making it to her room and roughly closing the door behind her.

The footballhead rubbed his butt, his eyes happily adjusting to the darkness of the space. "I t-think someone grabbed my booty...and w-why is it so salty?"

She brought his naked body over to the mattress and sat him down, holding out a finger as if to scold a toddler. "Don't move a muscle, I'm just going to go to my closet."

He grinned as his fingers felt the smooth fabric of the satin sheets. "Mmm, such a warm comfy bed." He mumbled, his half lidded eyes becoming droopier.

"Hey." She said snapping her fingers, surprised Helga was still sleeping through all of this. "No, no, no, don't even think about lying down. You need to stay awake."

The young man whined. "But the couch was horrible to sleep on…"

"You know what would be best to sleep on? Your own damn bed." She snarled; obviously care-giving was not an expertise that was bestowed upon her. Well, not at least for Arnold.

He continued running his hands over the sheets until they reached a lump under the covers. He turned his oblong shaped head to the slumbering form and squinted. "Is that Helga...why does she get to sleep in your bed?"

"Because she's...it's none of your business." Rhonda said rather embarrassed, and even though she had the shadows to veil her features, she managed not to blush a single bit.

He moved his head in closer to get a better look at the unconscious blonde. "Is she naked?" He asked as he curiously took the top of the layers of satin and began pulling it back.

" _Hey!_ " The hostess whispered harshly and immediately pulled his ear. She continued darkly. " _You try that again, and I'll be yanking your dick next time, and not in a good way._ "

"I was just…" He rubbed his ear after she released her grip. "Oww...why is she naked…?"

Miss Lloyd grumbled to herself as Arnold should've been asking himself that same question. "If I tell you, will you stop asking questions?"

He nodded and continued to massage his hurting lobe.

"Its because…" She hesitated, tapping her foot impatiently, not like she had to explain herself to him of all people, but if it would shut him up. Her brows rose as she thought up a plan and held out two fingers in front of his face. "Arnold how many fingers am I holding up?"

"Seven…"

She let out a sigh of relief. "Good, you won't remember this. Helga's naked and sleeping in my bed because...she's safe there. And I'll do anything to protect her and keep her safe. Because I...I…."

He closed his eyes in a slow blink, and a couple seconds later he groggily opened them again. "B-because you what?

She exhaled rather heavily. Not thinking she would ever confess this, not to her lover's past beau at least. "I love her, Arnold."

A wide grin broke out onto his simplistic emotions. "Aww, That's really sweet, you're a good friend."

"Right, _friend_."

"She's lucky…" He responded as he turned to Helga's form again and gradually held out his arm, lightly patting the blonde on the head. " _Shhhhh."_

Rhonda spotted the shimmery crimson pants that resided on the floor by her bed and grabbed them, tossing them into Arnold's lap before she walked towards her closet. "Put, these on. I'm going to find you a shirt."

She strolled over to the expansive closet, gazing at her expensive attire. There HAD to be something she was was willing to give away! She shuffled through the clothes until she found a tattered old shirt that belonged to Curly. Leaving it at a sleepover at some point in time, she assumed it wasn't that important if he hadn't remembered to pick it up. She pulled the Wankyland tee off the hangar and walked out of her closet, rather shocked at the sight she witnessed when she returned to her bed.

The young man had cuddled up in a fetal position with the pants as he snuggled up to Helga's back for warmth.

The wealthy hostess stared at them for a moment; her heart leapt into her throat as as the blonde girl returned the gesture and wiggled closer to the other figure lying on the mattress. However, the words that left her mouth during what Rhonda could assume was a pleasant dream, left her weak in the knees.

Helga muttered, " _Rhon…"_

Miss Lloyd grinned to herself sheepishly and wrung the t-shirt in her hands as she walked over and took the footballhead by the arm, lifting his dead weight up off the bed. She supposed all those hand-stands she did with her mother during yoga had paid off somehow. "Arnold, I told you not to fall asleep."

The young man snorted as he awoke. "I wasn't...I was just resting my eyes…"

"Put on the pants." She commanded as he slowly bent over to stick his legs into the fabric. She then wrapped the shirt over his head, and with some uncomfortable tugging, finally got his weird shaped cranium through the neck line.

"Oww…" he grimaced as he barely held onto the elastic waistline of the leggings. "I'm...I'm trying to put on the shirt…"

"They're pants, Arnold." She corrected as she grabbed the shimmery cloth and pulled them up to his hips. Then grabbed his waist and led him back to the door.

When she opened the entryway to her love dungeon, she noticed her kooky companion along with a rather worried taller boy.

"I found Gerald!" Curly responded, elated he could help his mistress, but then gawked at Arnold's attire.

"Where the hell were _**you**_ for the past hour?" She asked angrily at the darker skinned young man. He better have had a good excuse. Actually, she didn't care.

"I was just-"

"Save it. While you were off chasing some tail, doofus here was practically choking on his own drool." She exclaimed as she shoved Arnold forward and he landed into Gerald's arms.

The footballhead muttered, his eyes wincing again at the lights in the hallway. "I wasn't drooling that much…"

Rhonda scoldingly pointed to her long time classmate. "Get him home safe. And _**now**_."

Gerald just blushed and nodded as he supported his intoxicated friend and led them out of the hallway.

Curly placed his hands onto his hips as he watched the two walk away. "I was wondering where that Wankyland shirt went!"

The dark haired girl moved her fingers to the bridge of her nose and massaged it. "Listen, I am tired. I am cranky. And I have a headache. You get everyone out of here by two am, and then come get me. I'm going to lay down."

He sighed despairingly, upset she wasn't usually having the time of her life, but nodded. His hands dropped as he took his scepter, resting against the wall. "Of course, love."

She gave a pathetic smile and leaned forward, pecking him gently on the cheek. "Thank you."

With that, she closed the door to all the loud noises and chattering, and pressed her palms into her face as she walked over to the bed, attempting to apply tension to the pain that bounced around in her mind. When she dropped her hands, she glanced at her crown, glistening on the pillow above Helga's head. She grinned slightly as she yanked off the large whisk collar and tossed it to the ground, lying down on the mattress next to her partner and wrapped her arm over the blonde's waist, pulling her companion close.

God, she wanted to smash her head through glass, only to let the blood pull the agony out of her brain as it would drip below her. But as of right now, her head only collided with the other pillow of her bed, and the scent of her partner's strawberry scented shampoo calmed her senses.

Helga snuggled into the comforting touch and warmth of the hostess's body. Her lips smacked as she lightly roused from sleep. " _What took you so long…?"_ She mumbled.

Rhonda felt her heart melt into the emotional puddle of her insides as she pressed her forehead against the back of her friend's nape. She felt tears rush behind her tired eyeballs, and she supposed she would have to bleed another day. The _something more_...creeping its way into her veins.

_**~2003~** _

It was already dark as they slowly drove down a familiar street, just a block or two away from the Pataki residence. The older couple stopped the vehicle by the curb and the girls excitedly hopped out.

"Thanks, Mr and Mrs Clark. Without you two showing up we probably would've been attacked and eaten alive by rabid rats." Helga teased as she playfully nudged Rhonda.

The dark haired girl shut the back door and held up her hand in a kind departure. "Have fun visiting your Grandson."

"Oh, we will! You girls take care!" Mrs Clark responded happily and the couple drove away, into the flickering lights of the dim avenue.

Helga turned to Rhonda and gestured towards the direction of her house. "Shall we?"

She smiled as they began to walk again. The car ride was a nice break on their worn heels. "I know I've already said it, but, sorry again...for today. Trust me, it...panned out way better in my head."

The blonde chuckled, holding her thumbs on the belt loops of her jeans. "I _can_ imagine that….by the way, you never told me how you blew up the car."

"Right." She let out a humored breath and anxiously rubbed her forearm. "I put fireworks in the fill hose. Provided by Li-Li."

" _Of course_ he would agree to that." Helga lightly shook her head and gazed into the night sky. "You're kind of a nut-job, Lloyd."

"Yeah...I suppose it's just more prominent when I'm around _you_."

The lanky teenager glanced over and blushed, discreetly moving over her right hand to interlace her companion's fingers with hers.

Rhonda peered down at the tender feeling that left her skin tingling. "You're holding my hand?" She questioned but smiled nonetheless.

"Yeah, Rhon', it's what normal people do."

"It feels nice. I should've known your fingers were skilled in other areas."

Helga grinned and lifted up her free hand up to adjust her crooked glasses; staring at her beautiful yet crazy partner through the cracks. "You know, you're kind of cute when you're not plastered as fuck and passed out on the edge of a toilet seat."

"Well, you have to admit it's pretty adorable when I use a roll of toilet paper as a pillow."

The blonde rolled her eyes and confessed, not like she had any dignity that she hadn't already lost. "You know, as much as I bitch about my shitty life, I care about yours. I care about your happiness. I guess I just-...didn't realize how important my role was in it. You carry this essence like, everything is just so _fine_ all the time. I had no idea I needed to tell you...that it was okay to not be _fine_...all the time."

Miss Lloyd inhaled a lungful of the dusky atmosphere. "When you're busy taking care of someone else and their problems, you tend to forget about your own. And it's nice. You don't have to constantly deal with your own shit all the time. But I get what you mean, and I appreciate it." She glanced up at the twinkling stars, very subtle from the city lights, which were romantic enough on their own. "I think it was _me_ that was supposed to figure out that I don't need to be _fine_ all the time. 'Tis the life of a Leo."

Helga nonchalantly glanced down at her shoes as she swayed their hands and asked timidly. "Well...how do you feel after today?"

Rhonda's facial features beamed at the thought. "Like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. I've been wanting to say that to you for a while, and I'm at point where I don't even care who hears or sees. I'll scream it out, I LOVE HELGA PATAKI!" She raised her arms in the air, along with her friend's; her call echoing throughout the neighborhood.

" _Shhh."_ Helga responded with a tiny chuckle.

"This is what you used to feel with Arnold? It's amazing. I feel so energized!" She exclaimed as she abruptly jumped atop a nearby bus seat, still not letting go of the blonde's grasp. "LISTEN UP, HILLWOOD! I'D MAKE LOVE TO HELGA PATAKI IN THE STREETS!" She shoved her unoccupied fist valiantly into the sky.

The lanky teenager rolled her sapphire eyes and lightly tugged onto her partner's arm, "Rhonda, people are sleeping. Besides, how are you so sure I'm in love with you?"

Miss Lloyd turned to stare back down at her companion, and hopped off the bench with ease, taking both of Helga's hands into her own. " _This feels too good for you to not to."_

The blonde felt a flurry of sheepishness creep into the faint veins of her cheeks as she gazed into those radiant brown irises.

"It's okay, you don't have to say it. I just want you to be... _happy_. And I know I'm obviously not good for you, but that's probably the only cool thing about...people parting from one another; is that they have the potential to be happier...maybe with someone else...maybe on their own..."

Helga harbored a sudden tightness in her throat, trailing down to her stomach. Almost making her sick. She understood what Rhonda was saying. It sounded like it came right out of Bliss' own mouth. Still, it was agonizing. She was happy, yet confused and it hurt. Happiness hurt.

" _Please...just…can we not talk about my happiness right now? Can we just...walk and not talk for a while?"_

The wealthy girl nodded as they continued on silently, their fingers still lingering together.

Isn't this what she wanted? To be friends without the benefits? Then why did the realization hit her so painfully now? Hours ago she wished she was here, just a block away from her home with Olga, now she didn't. Rhonda had finally shown her all the raw fleshy bits under those encrusted and hardened Lloyd emotions. Perfect timing. But maybe it was the time, the only time it would've happened. Maybe these saddened feelings were supposed to happen now. And maybe so was the happiness. Maybe happiness was the wrong word. Elated bravery seemed more like it.

"Shit, our calves are going to hurt tomorrow, huh? But think of how sexy they'll look in heels." Rhonda commented optimistically as they approached the stoop of the Pataki condo.

Helga stared down at their intertwined hands, and for some reason she couldn't let go. Even if they weren't good for each other, that logic didn't correlate with how she emotionally festered inside. Involuntarily, she began to cry; tears ran down through the ash and dirt on her cheeks and she wiped them with her free wrist.

"What's wrong?"

She started to blubber, and dared to turn her head away. Her lower lip curled. " _God, why is this so hard?"_ Her usually bold tone cracking as nostalgic memories blundered through.

Miss Lloyd's eyes softened as she adoringly gazed into the face that wanted to hide from her. "We are... all we've known for the past six years...and it's scary to break that. But I think now…" She gently took blonde's other hand again. " _I'm ready for it. I'm ready to not be fine. And I think you are too."_

Helga sniffled and let out a dispirited chuckle; her blue eyes now puffy and pink, her voice wavering as her heart ripped apart at it's mismatched seams, stitched over and over again. " _I can't believe you blew up a car just to tell me you_ _ **love**_ _me."_

"It _**was**_ worth a eighty thousand dollars." She disclosed a smug yet cordial grin. " _But you're worth so much more than that."_

Heavier droplets spilled from those sapphire eyes and the lanky teenager shook her head. " _Fuck, Rhon'."_ She muttered before wrapping her arms around Rhonda's torso, her fingers clinging into her friend's shoulder blades while she sobbed into her shoulder. She mumbled against the fabric. Perfume mixed with fire. " _...I love you too…"_

The dark haired girl felt water wrap over her own brown irises, and she returned the embrace. Having a response tucked away in her brain for nearly every situation, this was one she felt difficulty finding words for.

As if it was possible, Helga's tone became even more breathless as the agony from sadness mixed into her lungs. " _I don't...I don't know if I'm strong enough…I don't want to become lost again..."_

Rhonda pressed her palms into her friend's lower back, bringing the blonde closer; wanting to take away all of Helga's fear in that instant, kiss every inch of her face, pick her up into her arms and run away. Falling back into the black hole of numbing habits. But somehow she found the courage to resist; she had to let go, even if it meant plunging into that endless pit by herself, gazing at her lover's face from above, becoming smaller in the distance of the light.

She uttered the words to Helga, and secretly to herself _. "You are strong."_ She sniffled. " _You are, Precious. You have to believe that you are...I do."_ She pulled away in her companion's arms and looked down into the blonde's glistening eyes. "Now, pull your damn hands up and wipe away those silly tears."

Helga exhaled a humored snort and let go of Rhonda as she rubbed the streams from her cheeks, regaining a bit of her voice. "You know I'm still here for you...if you need it. I'm just a phone call away from...calling you out on your arrogant bullshit."

Miss Lloyd grinned wide at that and helped brush a couple tears off of her partner's chin with her thumb. "I'll keep that in mind."

The lanky teen sighed and reluctantly glanced back at the door up the stoop. "I guess I better go tell Olga I'm not dead...I'll...see you around?" She asked anxiously, her torn heart fluttering on it's last thread.

Rhonda simply nodded in response as Helga gradually turned, heading up the stairs towards the entrance of the blue bricked condo.

She gazed at her back, the gallant features of her spine and muscles; words escaping from her lips before the blonde entered the home and rested, or didn't rest, for the night. "Miss Pataki."

Helga paused and curiously altered her torso to face her longtime friend again.

The wealthy girl suddenly felt nervous, something that was incredibly rare for her. "You think in the future, when we're less fucked up...we could give _**us**_ another go?"

She gave a small smile and bashfully shoved her hands into her jean pockets, surprised as she felt the crumpled sticky note from earlier that day. She pulled it out and looked at the piece of paper; poetic notions floating amongst her brain waves as she strolled back down the stoop and took Rhonda's hand, tenderly placing the note into it. "We'll see. As long as you don't blow up another damn car."

"No promises."

Helga curled her lover's fingers over the paper and brought her mouth to the side of Miss Lloyd's cheekbone, serenading the suppressed verses into her ear. " _Remember, who you are, even in the dark, smoke hazed room. And when you're ready, diligently search in the opaque shadows for that door."_ She let her lips graze across Rhonda's cheek in a subtle peck before parting back to the home. " _Goodnight, Princess."_

The dark haired teenager stood there and waited until her friend entered the condo. She then stared down and opened her hand, unfolding the familiar sticky note.

_Waiting for you outside!_

She smiled to herself and glanced up at the light that turned on from Helga's bedroom window. " _Goodnight...My queen."_

_**XOXOX** _

She wandered down the streets by her lonesome, absently playing with the note that resided in the pocket of her thin hoodie. She couldn't wipe the grin off her face, and decided not to race home right away, trying to prolong the imminent punishments that awaited her.

Rhonda exhaled subtle swoons here and there as she reached her detour, a townhome much like the others in the neighborhood. She strolled down the walkway and reached the door; brushing her feet on the welcome mat as she rang the doorbell.

After a couple seconds, the sound of a lock was unlatched and the door opened, revealing Curly in his nightly robe and mud mask. His eyes widened and he gasped at her presence. "Oh. My. Goodness. You look incredible. Did it go as well as you planned?"

Miss Lloyd expressed a dazzling smile and quickly picked him up by the waist, twirling them both around as she could not contain her glee.

"YES!" He exclaimed and cupped her face into his manicured fingers. "Aww, I'm so happy for you!" She set him down back onto his feet and he responded with a wince.

Rhonda's smile immediately left as she noticed he staggered on his heels. "What happened?"

He rolled his eyes and adjusted. "The brute caught up with me after fourth period. Like he and his gaggle of neanderthals think it'll stop me from trying out on Friday, but don't worry about it. Sweetie, I want to hear about your glorious day!" Curly swiftly took her hands with his as he pulled her into the house. Her ecstatic grin returning.

_**XOXOX** _

_Helga, remember when I said I only stared at myself? I lied. You'll never go out of style in my eyes._


	11. Interlude

_**~2003~** _

Helga quietly closed the front door to the Pataki condo. Thoughts still reflecting on what had come out of her mouth. The feelings finally settling in the pit of her stomach like ash floating down from the heavens. The burning emotions dwindling, her body finally accepting its exhaustion.

She loved Rhonda, and yet the confession didn't surprise her. It was a love that had been buried, buried next to Arnold's grave in her heart all those years ago; surfaced as the words escaped her lips. Bursting through the door, breaking off the hinges that had been haunting her the past couple weeks.

But why? She had asked herself that question since they walked away from the fiery convertible. Those moments in time she would never be able to run away from.

As she exfoliated her affections of Arnold, had she also unintentionally repressed any devotions to Rhonda? Confusing the two adorations as they entwined in a puzzling and immature part of her life? Digging up the earth on Elk Island; dumping her journals to endlessly rot in a mossy pit, had she buried any kind of acceptance for love? Her parents were behind prison bars, but here she was, locked inside the cell of her own mind.

Did that mean she buried her feelings for Phoebe as well? Had the enduring infrastructure of her mental bastion cracked? Was she now a vulnerable sponge to everything that began spilling out of the rift in her soul? The ghosts and phantoms that emerged from the graveyard of her heart? Is this what Bliss was yapping on about all those years? Some sort of breakthrough?

Speaking of Bliss, she would be so _**fucking**_ handy right about now.

Before confronting Olga, the blonde leaned warily against the front door, pressing her palm against her perplexed facial features. Was pursuing happiness some sort of entry to the wondrous unknown? That's what it felt like at least. Venturing out of that dim, smoke hazed room, she meant what she said to her longtime friend. They both needed seek help; to get better, but Helga never thought she would be the first to escape. She never thought she could be so emotionally brave, and frankly she was scared shitless at the same time, but here she was, and Rhonda was behind her.

Their love hanging onto floating words and promises that maybe she could build a new foundation under. She had to at least try.

She sighed heavily as she eventually wandered to the living room from the foyer, not seeing Olga anywhere in sight, yet her sister's keys hung on the silver hook next to the door, so she must've been home.

The girl curiously walked up the stairs, checking her sibling's room. Olga wasn't there. She then went to her own and flipped on the light; a figure on top of her bed rustling with the blanket from the couch over her torso. The woman's face wrinkled at the illuminating fixture, coming from the ceiling as she groggily opened her eyes. "Baby sister?"

Helga browsed around her room; her laundry done. Her books stacked neatly on her desk, her bed made and Phoebe's flowers residing in a vase on her nightstand. She smiled, knowing that if she would've disappeared for days with Bob and Miriam, they wouldn't have even concerned themselves one bit. It was nice that Olga had noticed.

"Hey, Olg'." She casually greeted as she sat down on her bed next to her sister's lying form.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so glad you're safe!" The older sibling jolted up from her resting position and wrapped her arms tightly around the teenager. "But where the hell have you been!? Oh, but I'm so happy you're home!"

The blonde chuckled, her torso now being squeezed by Olga's welcoming grip. "Make up your mind, Olga."

After a couple moments, the woman released the girl and rubbed her worried eyes. "What is ever going on in your little teenage world? Why didn't you call me? You've been gone for days! And what's this? Your glasses! Your hair! Are you running around with a bunch of hoodlums now!?" She exclaimed, her fingers tending to all of Helga's recent physical changes.

Helga smirked coyly, secretly favoring the attention. "The term is _hoodlettes_ , Olga, and It's a really long story."

"Well you definitely have some explaining to do!" Her stomach grumbled rather audibly and she looked down, expressing a faint grimace of pain. "Oh, but I'm hungry; follow me so I can chastise you in the kitchen."

The lanky teen merely rolled her eyes as her sister shuffled off of the mattress and out the door; she followed in suit.

Olga turned on the light as she entered the kitchen and Helga noticed it was rather messy now that fluorescents illuminated the several baking trays that scattered across the countertops and island. Each one filled with assorted scrumptious cookies. "I thought it smelled like a campfire lass factory in here."

The older sibling irritably placed her hands on her hips. "What? You know I stress cook, and then I stress eat! But sure, make jokes while I was freaking out, and you're gallivanting off who knows where. And not to mention Mr Lloyd stopped by earlier, and he was not happy! Please tell me Rhonda was with you and she's safe now. I can't have another missing teenager on my conscious." She ended rather anxiously and took one of the baked goods, shoving it into her mouth.

Helga leaned her elbows upon a small space of the island that was free. "She's fine...she should be heading home now."

Olga moved over to the fridge and opened it, pulling out what was left of the Heyerdahl apple pie and plopped it upon one of the metal sheets. She tore off the plastic wrap and tossed it aside, swallowing the chewed crumbles in her mouth. "Good. I don't want him coming back; his face was bright red like a plump tomato! **WHERE'S MY DAUGHTER!?** , he shouted at me! Like I had anything to do with it!"

"You do bear the 'Pataki' name, Olga."

"Well, he thinks I'm not ' _rearing'_ you right."

The blonde scoffed and shook her head. "He's one to talk. Besides, _**I**_ think I'm just fine." She responded as she took one of the brownies and clinked the treat against a snickerdoodle now in Olga's hand.

The older sister sighed instead of immediately munching into another cookie. "Helga, _please_ tell me what happened."

The lanky teen meekly bit into the brownie and hesitated before swallowing and responding. "Rhonda and I...ditched school."

"You ditched school, broke your glasses and dyed your hair?"

She set down the baked good and rolled her eyes slightly; conjuring a silly story. "Yes, Olga, we dyed it in a rest stop toilet. It was really cool until she accidentally leaned on the handle and my hair got sucked into the pipe. My face smashed into the porcelain bowl, breaking my glasses; the force almost engulfed my whole head down the drain!"

Olga glared at her sibling. "Baby sister, now is not the time for jokes."

"Sorry, just...lightening the mood." Helga paused for a moment. "The glasses were from yesterday. Arnold _shittily_ threw a football into the side of my face. Phoebe helped me dye my hair last night. I went to school; it was Rhonda's Idea to ditch, and she blew up Buckley's car. That's the whole story."

Olga's scolding facial features then twisted into one of shock as her mouth fell agape.

"Yeah...I know."

She shook her head in disbelief. "What is going on with _you_ lately?"

The teenager sighed glumly and glanced down at her hands, wishing the conversation was over just a quickly as it started. "Nothing really, It was just a freak domino effect of events. It's over now, we don't have to worry about it."

Olga set down her cookie and crossed her arms, almost too stunned for words. "Baby sister, you know what I mean. We used to talk... _sometimes_. Not a lot, but a bit, and now its like...I have no access to you anymore. You're practically never here...you're always with Rhonda doing lord knows what." She hesitated and her eyes widened, a gasp escaping from her lungs. "Is it drugs!?"

Helga pushed herself up from the kitchen island and shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans, timidly confessing. "I have partaken in marijuana, but that's not the reason for me... _clamming up_ or whatever."

"Cocaine!?"

She released a scoff. "Olga, do I look or act like I'm on cocaine?"

The sister took a couple steps closer, placing her hand upon the younger blonde's shoulder rather concerned. "Harder drugs?"

"No, It's not drugs, Olga. It's... _stuff_. I just don't think it's stuff you're ready to hear."

The woman's brows curiously burrowed into her bright blue eyes. "What do you mean?"

Helga exhaled audibly and took a step back, leaving her older sibling's touch. "You really want to know what Rhonda and I have been doing the past couple years? Why I...never talk about it? It wasn't just weed or booze, Olga, it was….it was _sex,_ okay? But not with boys...it was... _with each other._ " She gazed down at the aged laminate of the kitchen, her burning feelings from earlier now leaving her insides scorched and arduous.

Olga paused but then lightly shook her head and clicked her tongue. She responded pretty annoyed. "Baby sister, I just told you this is not the time for jokes."

" _I'm not joking."_ She retorted coldly; the ashes in her soul chilling the charred remains of her prior affections.

Still rather in a state of doubt, Olga was used to Helga's frequent antics, but once she stopped to notice the change in the teenager's disposition, her demeanor changed swiftly and her features melted. "Oh...baby sister…" She took a couple steps forward and rounded to wrap her arm over the girl's shoulders. She attempted to speak as to console her troubled sibling. "I may not completely understand you're little crazy life, but I'm here if you need me."

Helga's lips curled upward and she wiped away any sadness that might've been brewing unter her sapphire eyes. " _You let me get away with so much shit."_

The older sister rubbed the younger blonde's back comfortingly before letting go. "So...if I understand correctly, you mean sex...like…" She apprehensively took two fingers from each hand and scissored them together.

"That's not exactly how it works, but yes, thats what kind of sex I'm talking about. I didn't realize there was another kind." Helga's glum demeanor dissipated as she ended sarcastically.

Olga grumbled to herself and placed her palm against her forehead. "Oh, goodness. I am really, really, _really_ , late on this birds and the bees talk. _Maybe I'm not a good child rearer…_ "

The girl chuckled softly and nudged her sibling. "You _**are**_ a good rearer." She then bit her lower lip and asked inquisitively. "You don't _hate_ me?"

The woman's eyes widened as she placed her hand firmly against her own chest. "Baby sister, why ever would I hate you? Besides Mommy and Daddy, you're the only other person I could ever love with my whole heart."

She shrugged and rubbed the goosebumps away on the back of her neck. "I don't know, I guess...I believed I should've been hated for my actions...think of what Buckley would do if he knew. He'd probably blame me and ship Rhonda off to some boarding school in Europe."

"Is there someone to blame?"

Helga gently shook her head. "No. It was all mutual. But...no one has to worry about it anymore...we're taking a... _break_ …" She ended sorrowfully.

Olga gasped again and poked her sister on the shoulder. "Were you two dating this whole time? Right under my nose!? All those sleepovers! I thought the volume on the TV in your room was unusually loud!"

The teenager released a laugh at her sibling's reaction. "I guess you could say something like that. We're in some... _crazy_ kind of love. That shouldn't even be...but it is." She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall of the kitchen, feeling as if she could barely keep herself standing from all the realizations that still weighed on her mind.

"Love can be very crazy, baby sister. I know."

Helga rolled her eyes, thinking back to all of Olga's impulsive and toxic relationships that she had to deal with growing up. She wouldn't exactly call them 'love'. She sighed and ran her fingers anxiously through her pink and golden locks. " _I keep asking myself, did I do the right thing…halting our...relationship?"_

The woman quickly grabbed a cookie from the island and held it out kindly. "Food always helps me whenever I doubt if I did the right thing or not."

The younger blonde accepted the baked good and took a miniscule bite; her notions continuing to escape from her lips. "It's just...I know if I didn't stop anything, we'd continue on...in some upside down affair...maybe never finding right side up…" She paused. "This morning I thought...I was helping myself become better...but maybe I was helping Rhonda too."

"I guess you have to decide which side you want to be on. Love is love baby sister. Whether it's upside down or not. We can't help who we fall in love with, or at what time, or what circumstances." She responded, and somehow a slice of apple pie found its way to her hands, the paper towel she held under it, barely collecting any of the crumbles that fell from her lips as she consumed the dessert.

Helga raised a skeptical brow. "Then what was all that mumbo jumbo the other day? That what was going on in my life was a phase?"

Olga hesitated for a moment as she swallowed, recollecting on their conversation last week. "The girl thing? I thought you were talking about your friend?"

"How many friends do you think I have Olga!? Criminy!"

"Oh, Helga…" She set the pie down onto the counter and placed her palms on both of Helga's shoulders. "If I knew you were talking about yourself I would've lent more support to you. The thing I said...it's just…" She exhaled heavily. "Regrettably, it's something I tell parents when they come shouting at me for why their child is acting a certain way that they don't approve of. They want answers, as if I am responsible for their child's upbringing. I mean, I am in a way, but every little child that comes through my door, I support them, in whatever they're feeling or thinking. I can't just reprimand them for biased opinions."

"So you gave me some Vice Principal song-and-dance?"

"No, I...I tell people what I think they want to hear. Unfortunately that's part of my job, to keep everyone happy...I'm sorry I used it on you. I guess, I...don't know when to turn it off sometimes."

The teenager sadly took another munch into her cookie when Olga wrapped her arms around Helga's torso and squeezed her close. The younger blonde's eyes widened at the pressure against her lungs as her sibling continued.

"Helga, everything you're going through, It's completely normal. It's like your brain knows what you need, but your heart is soaring into a different direction. You made these decisions for a reason, you'll just have to trust that."

The girl choked a muffle in response; the cookie crumbles still residing in her mouth, Olga's embrace not allowing her to swallow.

"Oh, sweetie, it'll be okay. But, I'm going to start taking this child rearing thing more seriously." She said as she finally let go and Helga gasped; her older sister wiggled a pointer finger in her direction. "You are **grounded**."

Helga inhaled deeply and let out an awkward chuckle. "Oh, yeah?" She rapidly finished the cookie before Olga could suffocate her again.

Olga crossed her arms sternly. "Mhmm, from now on, I want you to get a cellphone. So you'll have no excuse not to call me."

"Ughhhh, a cell phone? You know they remind me so much of _Bob_."

"You'll just have to deal with it, missy."

She sighed and crossed her arms as well, resisting any kind of sass that bubbled from her insides. "Fine."

"And you're going to get a little job; no more wandering around at any hour of the day or night. And this job better have a phone too so I can check up on you."

The blonde rolled her eyes but a small smile crept through. "Fine. I'll get a job…" She pursed her lips and raised a brow. "I'm sure compared to me at the age of sixteen, you were just a perfect little princess."

"Oh, Helga, nobody is perfect. Trust me, I was running around with boys, getting into trouble. Partying, drinking and smoking here and there, but as long as I got exceptional grades, Mommy and Daddy were none the wiser...I'm not a perfect person…" Her blue eyes softened. "But that doesn't mean I didn't pretend to be…even now."

Helga paused and returned the gaze, eventually clearing her throat. "Any more... _rules_ , you can think of for this grounding?"

The woman hardened her gaze. "You know, next time you invite over any girls or boys into your room, I want to know about it!

"You want to know about my _sex life_?"

"No, I want to know if I should be expecting Rhonda or whoever coming over at three am in the morning! Or if I need to...give you some _alone time_ or something!"

The teenager blushed and glanced at the ceiling of the kitchen. "...So, you don't want me to be _secretive_ about it anymore."

"Exactly. Baby sister, we both share this home and I know how much you love being treated like a little adult; just as a courtesy, fill me in, huh? Talk to me?" She asked, shifting her stern composure, her sugary vulnerability gushing through.

Helga grinned and dropped her arms as well, shoving her hands into her pockets. "Alright, alright, I'll talk more. But PLEASE don't tell me if you're sneaking anyone into your room." The thought made her cringe. "I _really_ don't need to know about that."

Olga playfully glared and pushed her sibling on the shoulder. "Why don't you go get ready for bed, missy?" She pointed to her sister again. "I'm driving you to school tomorrow morning. No buts about it."

"No buts." She responded willingly and as a surprise to both of them, wrapped her arms around Olga's waist in a hug.

The woman hesitated for the moment but revealed a large smile and returned the embrace. "If I knew this is how you would react, I would've grounded you years ago." She petted the back of Helga's pink and golden head. "I love you, baby sister. You'll figure out all the answers to your little questions in time."

"Love you, Olg'."

With that, they parted and Helga walked up the stairs to her room. She left the light on, plopping onto her bed and relaxing her arms behind her neck. She stared at the ceiling for a while in her thoughts before turning to the vase filled with Phoebe's beautiful flowers. She felt lucky. She _was_ lucky. Her eyes then drifted down the green stems to the telephone on her nightstand and she sighed. Speaking aloud to her lonesome in the quiet room.

"My brain tells me, that this is a really, _really_ dumb idea...but then my heart tells me it's the right thing to do. Criminy, why were humans designed with such conflicting organs, like some sick joke." She glanced back up at the ceiling rather annoyed. "I bet you think it's pretty _fucking_ funny from up there don't ya?"

The blonde sat up on her mattress and turned her rump, facing that blasted telephone. She bit her bottom lip and picked the handle off the reciever, placing it to her ear. Rehearsing the therapeutic breathing pattern that Bliss taught her so well. She dialed the number and waited anxiously for the other like to pick up, and when it did, the voice that reflected was deep yet restless.

" _Rhonda?"_

She could feel her fingers fidgeting as she held the plastic handle. "No, sir. It's Helga, uh, Helga Pataki."

The was an unsatisfied grunt. " _Where on EARTH is my daughter!?"_

She exhaled a profound sigh before responding; hoping that her heart wasn't straying her down the wrong path. But then again, her gut told her it was the right thing to do. She blamed all those years being around Bliss and Arnold. "She's on her way home...look, whatever she tells you tonight...it was my idea. _It's...my fault_."

_**~2002~** _

Helga groggily opened her tired eyes. Shifting them slowly to the digital clock on the nightstand where her luchador mask and glasses resided. It beamed a bright red: _**4:27 am**_.

She placed her clammy palm to her forehead. What had happened? The last thing she faintly remembered was talking with Iggy and then…

Her gaze widened slightly as her fingers moved to her lips and brushed them, feeling the delicate residue of lipstick. She turned over on the bed; the sheets has been rustled but no Rhonda. She also pushed back the covers, revealing her bare form. Had their makeout session led them here? Was the party over? Questions flurried through out her mind as she then heard voices coming from the direction of the door which was left cracked open in the dark room.

She put on her glasses, quietly got out of bed and tiptoed towards the sliver of light; the voices became louder and as she peeked through the slim opening, the conversation became clear.

Two figures stood in the living room, one clad in a tuxedo with his red bow tie undone, draped over his nape, and the other, Rhonda. Who simply had a towel around her torso; her black hair rather damp, as if she had just recently gotten out of the shower.

Helga's blue eyes averted to Buckley when he spoke.

"Rhonda, LOOK at me!" His deep voice bellowing throughout the now almost silent penthouse.

Silver flecks sparkled amongst his dark locks; his face chiseled with his Spaniard and English ancestry. His thick mustache brushed and trimmed to perfection.

"I _am_ , Daddy." She responded meekly. The blonde couldn't see her gaze that well, as Rhonda's lean back was turned towards her bedroom.

"Are you drunk _again_?" He asked irritably, grabbing her jawline and moving her eyes to his furious brown ones. "Do we have a _**problem**_ here?"

"N-no, Daddy. I...just had a couple friends over."

He released her face and went to the bar cart in the room, populated with expensive scotch and aged brandy. How Rhonda was able to hide that alcohol from her guests, the lanky teen had no idea. "You are being _incredibly_ disrespectful. _Disappointing._ Why couldn't I have been graced with a more reverential daughter?" He belittled as he pulled the cork from one of the bottles and poured himself a drink.

Rhonda didn't budge from where Helga watched, yet there was a faint sniveling sound coming from the dark haired girl.

The older man sneered as he pushed the cork back into the handle and picked up his glass. "Don't start with that intoxicated blubbering. Buck up! You caused this. Is this what I and your Mother deserve? After we raised you, put a rather luxurious roof over your head?"

" _You..you stopped raising me…"_ Her voice was low as she raised her hand to wipe what Helga assumed were tears.

" _Excuse me_?"

"I've raised myself...since the age of twelve. Since... _Granddad...passed…_ "

He released a snide chortle. "I have been honoring Barrett's legacy, and the highly esteemed Lloyd name. Can you say the same for _**your**_ father?"

The wealthy teenager scoffed lightly. "He was humble, unlike you. It was Abuela that _spoiled_ you, made you believe that you needed to be this way..."

"Oh? And you aren't _spoiled_?" He took a gulp of his drink and brushed the moisture off his thick mustache with his thumbs. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, Rhonda. But I suppose I can fathom what you're saying. It's _my fault_ I started making more money, is that correct? I didn't hear you complaining when I brought home one-of-a-kind designer outfits from Paris. Or shoes and purses from Belgium?"

" _Daddy_...I'd give it all up to have you around more…"

"You have a very _**twisted**_ way of showing it." He finished his brandy and set the glass down on the bar cart. "Rhonda, I can not deal with this right now. I have a meeting with some shareholders in…" He glanced at the upscale watch on his wrist. "Good god, a couple hours. Get to bed; your demeanor is currently _quite_ unpleasant." He ended and altered his attention from her, pouring himself another drink.

The girl shifted her form as Helga's eyes widened and she raced back to the bed, hastily taking off her glasses and placing them on the nightstand; she yanked the sheets and covers back over her naked form and closed her eyes.

The door to Rhonda's room gently creaked open and then shut. But Rhonda didn't immediately come back to the mattress, instead she went to the bathroom and turned on the light. The next sounds entering Helga's ears, gagging.

The blonde opened her eyes gradually as the chokes turned into vomiting, and the splashes from the toilet water echoed from the bathroom.

Her heart sank to the pit of her own stomach; the feeling churned like a garbage disposal. She exhaled a shallow breath and moved her legs off the bed, eventually her body, timidly making her way to the light of the bathroom where she found her friend.

Rhonda shivered as she purged what alcohol remained in her intestines, and held onto the porcelain seat with pale hands; her towel barely covering her immaculate figure.

Without a sound or request, the blonde knelt down by her companion, pulling dark strands of the wealthy teenager's hair away from her cheekbones, tucking them behind her ear.

Rhonda let out a feeble cough and fumbled for the handle of the toilet, pushed on it and watched as her stomach's contents swirled down the drain. She spoke up in a whisper, too tired to turn her head to look at her partner. " _D...Did you just wake up?"_

" _Yeah…"_

Helga shoved back her feelings. Why couldn't she say anything? Here was Rhonda, in dire need of a friend and encouraging wisdom, and she couldn't utter a single word of optimism. She searched for Bliss' poise and tact; but all seemed to be lost in that moment and she was still rather tipsy from earlier.

Besides how could she help Rhonda with her problems, when she couldn't even figure out her own? Would they be problematic forever? Mixing all their shit into an obscuring chaos? How could she mend it? She couldn't. She just hoped that maybe some answers would come in the future.

The blonde rubbed her friend's back reassuringly and after a few moments she was able to pick out two words amongst the thousands jumbling around in her brain. " _E-Everything okay?"_

The dark haired teen exhaled a disgruntled sigh. "Everything's... _perfectly fine_...Daddy's just in a mood." She pulled a few strips of toilet paper off the nearby roll and wiped her teary eyes, then her mouth.

Helga's gaze averted to the tiled floor and she responded softly. " _Sorry...I...I can't really remember much of earlier…did I...do anything embarrassing or s-stupid?"_ She asked, knowing full well she made out with Rhonda. But did they pursue those desires further? Considering her...clothless body. And did she act like an imbecile in the process?

Rhonda managed a small grin and turned her attention to her companion. Her eyes had been pinkened from causes, most likely crying and substances. She raised up her other hand to place a cool palm upon the side of Helga's cheek. Her voice was tender. " _No...no of course not..."_

_**~2003~** _

" _Hey, you've reached Rhonda's voicemail! I can't come to the phone right now because I'm probably doing something really awesome. So leave a message, Dahling!"_

_**BEEP!** _

"Doing something really awesome like destroying your Dad's convertible and your cell phone in the process? Heh. Hey Rhon', it's…it's _me_. Um, I know a lot has been said already...but, I wanted to apologize for...the _other_ day. The...you know...the _gay_ thing. And, how I made some big...petty deal about it. But...I was wrong. It's not a big deal. It's just a stupid label. A _buzzed haircut_ and _denim clothes_...It doesn't mean anything. We are what we are...or _**were**_ … I have to thank you for that and for everything, because no matter what we were, or how shitty our days got, if you hadn't come into my life...it would've been... _ **completely unbearable**_. I'm happy you... _meddled_ your way into my bathroom stall that day, back in the fifth grade. You really are awesome...Alright, well, I hope you get home safe. Rhon', I-... _I'll see you tomorrow.._."

_**BEEP! Press one to save your message. Press two to delete it.** _

…

_**BEEP! Message Saved.** _


	12. Inquisitor

_**~10 Hours Ago~** _

She bit into the shell of a salty sunflower seed with her back molar; wiggling the contents around in her mouth with her tongue as she watched classmates pour into the cafeteria for lunch period. The pupils either stood in the line for mystery food or found their group of friends to sit with. Phoebe picked out the empty shell from her mouth and placed it into a styrofoam cup she had set near her paper lunch sack. She crunched down into the grain and eventually swallowed the seed; repeating this process several times as she jotted down equations into her notebook.

It was probably lame; doing homework during lunch period. Lunch was for social gatherings and gossip. She hesitated at the next pre-calc problem and tapped her pencil against the lined paper. The teenager glanced back up at the students eating with each other. It's not that she and Helga had planned to eat lunch together. It was a nice thought, but they hadn't verbally arranged it.

Still, her day was moving along, and it didn't concern her that she hadn't seen the blonde at all in the past couple hours. Well, it didn't concern her... _too much_. She just hoped that her friend was okay. Maybe Helga had gone home sick? Or maybe there was another football accident in the field? Her mother always commented that she worried too much, and then she usually retaliated by saying Reba became perturbed too often, and then they would get into a playful argument over who worried the most. She admitted it was silly.

Phoebe stared down at her notebook paper and focused on a drawn polynomial function, getting lost in thought. Seconds passed by, not realizing she hadn't moved, delving below her surfaced perceptions. Succumbing to the graphite lines, notions of Helga Pataki lingered between the micro textures.

"Well, hey there, _sunflower_."

She blinked and snapped out of her bewitching thoughts, glancing up at the voice that came from beside her. Gerald stood there with a tray of mysterious cafeteria food. He smiled pleasantly.

Phoebe adjusted herself on the hard plastic bench and quickly responded unamused, but modestly attentive all the same. "That's _incredibly original_ , Mr Johanssen."

"Even you could make sarcasm sound polite. That's an uh...interesting lunch you have there." He was referring to the containers of rice, vegetables and mixed fruit near her paper sack, as well as the hefty ziploc bag of trail mix which consisted of sunflower seeds, cashews, peanuts and yogurt covered raisins.

She gestured to each item that was packed for her. "Carbs, antioxidants, vitamins and protein. My mother says it gives her something to do." Reba was fond of making five gallon tubs of trail mix. Maybe it was just entertaining mixing nuts, seeds, and raisins together. It was a snack the mother could prepare quickly, and her father seemed to appreciate the snack in his lunch every day when he went to work. Phoebe honestly pondered it was more for Kyo than for her, but she enjoyed the sentiment as well.

He sat down on the plastic seat opposite to her on the bench with his tray. "How is it that you've been back long enough to attend one of Rhonda's parties but not say ' _hello'_ to me?" The dark haired teenager chided playfully.

She felt a blush creep upon her cheeks. Miss Heyerdahl didn't mean to not make her presence known, but several things had happened since she had arrived back at Hillwood. She mentally stumbled a sincere apology. "Please forgive me. My mind's been...all over the place recently." She sighed audibly. "It really is good to see you." The statement was genuine.

Gerald still looked like Gerald; she could recognize those hospitable facial features anywhere. Dark stubble dotted his jawline and his stack of black curls was still brushed vertically, but neatly. He always cared about his appearance. The brown skinned teenager chuckled. "No worries. Why are you sitting here by yourself? Doesn't Helga know you're back?"

The last question made her uneasy for a moment. "She does, but I haven't really seen her since this morning…" Phoebe fidgeted in her seat subtly. "Have you?" She asked back earnestly.

He shook his head. "No, sorry. If anything she's probably with Rhonda. Those two are always together." He picked up his fork and poked around the pale corn on his tray of what appeared to be food.

She nodded and glanced back down at her own lunch. "Of course."

"Things have changed a lot since we were little, huh?"

Another question that made her skin crawl. "It appears that way."

He shrugged and his positive demeanor bubbled again. "Well, is it alright if I eat with you?" He asked even though he was already sitting with her.

How could she refuse to a friend and former crush? "Of course." She responded kindly and smiled, digging back into her bag of seeds and nuts.

Gerald changed the subject and pointed his fork to her notebook after he took a bite of the spongy meatloaf from his tray. "I didn't know you drew." He stated, noticing the imaginative doodles dancing around her very logical mathematical functions.

"Oh, they're just sketches, really. I'm more of a painter, to be honest." She swept off the comment, suddenly feeling embarrassed as these drawings consisted of a pair of familiar abysmal shaded eyes. She couldn't shake the gaze Helga had given her the night before when they laid together on her mattress and stared at each other in the stillness of the night; so much that she had to physically remind herself that it had happened. Phoebe altered the conversation, "What about you? Has Arnold's artistic poise brushed off on you?"

"Well, I still sing...mostly in the shower. And he really wanted me to join his club, but with work, I just don't have much free time. I don't mean to brag or anything but, I'm the top salesman at Hoske's. You ever looking to shop for your mom or dad, you can come straight to me. I'm the perfect guy for holidays."

"I'll keep that in mind." She said as she popped a few yogurt covered raisins in her mouth. "My father is difficult to shop for. Are you still offering _Wacko_ watches?" She slyly joked, knowing that the former business endeavor had turned out to be giant scam on a young, optimistic Gerald.

"Oh, yes! Wacko was actually bought out by a jewelry company by the name of Brine, so now they make pristine, top of the line watches. And If you buy one, I'll throw in a tie, free of charge."

Phoebe disclosed a modest laugh. "That sounds perfect."

Gerald swallowed a few softened pieces of corn as he attempted to keep the conversation going. "So, um...Dr Iron Claw, huh?" He asked gesturing to her band tee and shrugged as a smirk graced his lips. "Yeah, they're not bad."

" _Not bad_? You better watch your mouth, Mr. Johanssen."

He grinned as she took the bait to his comment. "They maaaay be just as good as Jinormous Jay?" He asked, luring her again into a friendly quarl.

She opened the container to her fruit and responded civilly. "Well, I love Jinormous Jay, but the two are completely different genres. So they can not be compared with one another."

"Yeah? I play his stuff all the time while working on my Trans Am. How's a country girl know about the _master_ that is Jinormous?"

She raised a brow and altered her eyes from her meal to his jovial brown irises. "I lived in Kentucky, Gerald, not the North Pole."

He chuckled at her snarky retort. "You know, every Tuesday I usually get together with a couple of dudes and we go play The King Rules-"

"You still play that game? Is Gerald Johanssen... _a nerd_?" She comically responded as she took a damp cut of cantaloupe and placed it into her mouth, now intrigued at what defense he could muster.

"Very funny. You might actually like playing with us. However, tonight I have different plans. Are you...free this evening?" He asked innocently, poking around at his funky food again, a little nervous at what her response might be.

Phoebe hesitated and swallowed the chewed fruit, her guard rising as if this were some sort of sales negotiation between merchant and customer. Not that she didn't trust Gerald, but she didn't really _know_ him anymore. Didn't mean she wasn't incredibly curious at what he had to offer. "Depends."

"Well, there's this hip place called 'The Ware' in West Brooklyn. They host all kinds of music; local R&B artists, hiphop, all the way to punk and grunge."

"Do they now?" Her curiosity rose and she dropped her barriers some.

"They're hosting a band tonight called 'The Ghost Brides'; might be right up your alley. Their sound is really similar to Dr Iron Claw. Think you'd be down?" He asked casually.

Phoebe paused again and finally grinned cheekily to herself. Realizing what this offer could potentially mean. "Gerald Johanssen, are _you_ asking me out on a date?"

His eyes widened and he paused munching on his food. He swallowed roughly. "Whaaaaat? No, no. Can't I show an old friend a good time around this remarkable city?" His cool demeanor returned and he revealed a soft smirk. "Besides, I don't get many nights off from work. Why not chill with Phoebe Heyerdahl?"

She had to admit, she was very interested. This could be an opportunity to get out there, reacquaint with an old friend, let loose a little and have a fun time. "That does sound...really tempting." She sighed faintly once the excitement blossomed in her chest. "I do want to go. I'll just have to contemplate a way to...acquire my parent's permission."

His grin widened and he lowered his voice as he leaned forward on the cafeteria bench. " _Well, you might want to..._ _ **embellish**_ _your story a bit. There_ _ **will**_ _be alcohol there."_

_**XOXOX** _

Around 3:28 pm, her mother's sedan pulled up to the curb in front of the high school where she waited. She still hadn't seen Helga throughout the duration of her day and she attempted to remain collected. If anything, maybe the event tonight would help take the edge off. Gerald did say there would be alcohol there. She mentally reminded herself it wasn't her place to worry. Helga could take care of herself, she was practically an adult...kind of…?

She deeply inhaled through her nostrils as she pulled open the passenger door and Reba greeted her offspring cordially. "Hey, how was school, baby?"

Phoebe got in and closed the door, buckling her seat belt as she responded politely and calmly. "Quite surprising, in a plethora of ways."

Before shifting the vehicle into drive, the mother altered her torso and leaned to grab something in the back seat. "Well, you'll have to tell me _all_ about it over dinner, because guess what came in the mail today?" She said as she pulled forward a medium sized package and lent it out for her daughter.

Phoebe's features became puzzled for a moment as she glanced over the cardboard box, but once she noticed the label, the hazel color in her eyes brightened and she gasped. "It must be my brace! Do you mind if I open it now, Mother!?" She asked excitedly, taking the package into her lap, bursting with enthusiasm.

Reba switched the vehicle into motion as she drove away from the curb; delighted at her daughter's reaction. "Of course not! I know you've been waiting weeks for it."

_**XOXOX** _

Once they arrived at the Heyerdahl residence and Reba parked the sedan in the garage, Phoebe pushed the car door open and practically leaped out of the vehicle with her new brace in her arms. "I can't wait to try it on!"

The mother released a chuckle as she exited as well, and spoke before her daughter could run up to her room. "Hon', you left your box and your backpack in the car."

"Oh, right, sorry, mother!" The girl responded as she turned back to grab her knapsack and the now empty cardboard package; Phoebe then trotted to the backdoor and entered the house as Reba looked over to the passenger car door which was still swung open. She grinned to herself slightly and shook her head as she juggled her car keys in her right hand, walking around the vehicle to close the door her daughter had not.

Kyo was in the kitchen, leaning against the breakfast bar as he browsed down at the newspaper. Currently interested in the _Economic_ section when his daughter entered the space and he stood up straight to greet her.

Before he could say anything, the teenager jogged over and pushed herself upon her toes to peck him on the cheek. "Hello, Father!" She said jovially as she then ran out of the kitchen and up towards her room.

He heard the wooden planks of the stairs creak in response to her exaggerated movements as Reba entered the kitchen from the garage. She smiled warmly at him. "Hey, Mr Heyerdahl."

"Hello, Mrs Heyerdahl." He responded in that velvety baritone voice of his. He gestured to the stairs. "She seems exuberant."

The taller woman wrapped an arm over his shoulders and tossed her keys next to his paper. "Her brace finally came in." Her grin remained, mostly because this little product designed by doctors and scientists and whoever would help give her baby some relief.

Kyo looked up at her and wrapped his arm around her waist, giving her a reassuring squeeze. "That _**is**_ exciting."

_**XOXOX** _

Phoebe raced through her bedroom door, carelessly tossing the empty box and her backpack onto the ground. She set her new brace onto her desk as she took the edges of her shirt and pulled them up, lifting the fabric over her head, throwing it somewhere too. She then went to the tall mirror in her room, her stomach revealed with her modest sized bra, and wrapped the brace around her torso to get a feel for the stiff material.

It was a lower lumbar brace with a pulley system that she could adjust to her comfort level. She grabbed the straps and pulled them accordingly on each side, the sturdy fabric compressing around her spine and muscles. Once she felt like she had enough support, she attached the straps to the front of the brace; the velcro tabs assuring the fit was secure.

She would definitely have to get used to wearing it often, but that was fine. Her posture already felt much better; like she could actually sit at her desk or the dinner table without her injuries becoming agitated. Like maybe she could also be less cautious about her day to day movements; not like she was going to go out there and join the volleyball team or anything, but the potential was a nice thought on its own.

Phoebe grabbed her t-shirt off the ground and slid it back on, exiting her room to trot down the stairs and to the kitchen where she left her parents.

Reba had placed three teabags by the stove as she set the kettle on the burner and turned the knob to medium heat. She then adjusted herself to witness the 'miracles' of the new product her daughter adorned. Although happy to say, she could barely see it under the band t-shirt. "What's the verdict, little lady?"

"It adjusts perfectly! Can you see it at all?" She asked as she looked down and gave a slow twirl, like one of those fully clothed mannequins behind the glass of a ritzy mall store.

The mother crossed her arms but lifted a hand to nibble on the nail of her thumb as she speculated. "Just barely, but maybe that's because I'm aware of it. What about you, K'?" She asked her husband who now sat on one of the stools at the breakfast bar.

He stated with confidence. "I cannot see a thing. I'm just delighted it'll aid your lower lumbar marvelously, my dear."

Phoebe grinned with a faint blush and released an excited little hop at her parents response to her new brace.

Reba spoke up again in a cheerful tone. "Hey, you know what? I think we should celebrate! We could go out for dinner tonight!"

"That sounds like a wonderful idea. Where would you like to go, kiddo?" Kyo asked his daughter who's demeanor now changed into one of nervousness. "Something troubling you?"

The teenager wrung her hands together, her joy still there, but in the midst of receiving the package, she had totally forgotten about what she needed to do in order to escape that night. She had hoped this would've gone smoother, but now she felt totally unprepared. "Um, no, I just...I actually had some plans tonight...um, with Gerald."

The woman glanced at the ceiling as the name sounded familiar, but she could barely remember the face the name belonged to. "Was his last name Johnson? Oh, no...I know it started with a J."

"Gerald Johanssen. You remember, mother, stack of black curls. He wore that crimson colored shirt all the time."

Reba's eyes widened as her memory refreshed. "Oh right, yeah, I remember him! Cute as a button, as a matter of fact, my daughter, weren't you two an item for a little while there?"

"Mother, no one is an _item_ when they're ten."

"She has a point, my dear." Kyo chimed in. "Phoebe, don't listen to your mother. Become an item with someone when you're _thirty_."

Phoebe snorted in response to her father's comment and Reba pouted. "Oh my lord, K'. I merely meant they there were _just cute_. No one needs to take what I said out of context." She said irritably as she turned around to check on the water in the kettle which was now simmering.

Kyo looked to his daughter and mouthed inaudibly, ' _She is easy to tease.'_

Phoebe mouthed back, ' _I know.'_ She then cleared her throat, her voice returning, collecting some of her courage to lie to her parents. Well, _lie_ was such a horrible word. White lie? Did that make it better? How about, _distorting the truth_? "Um, he's invited me to play The King Rules, it's a card game with a few of his close friends. I was wondering if I could...attend?"

Reba turned from the stove, back to her husband and promising child while Kyo's brows rose coyly and he looked over to his wife. "What do you think, _mama bear_?"

Her eyebrows rose as well, although rather agitated. "Why is this decision completely upon me?"

"Because I trust Phoebe wholeheartedly, don't you?"

The teenager grinned rather too smugly at her father's retaliation and tried to suppress it before her mother could notice, but it was too late.

"Mmhmmm. It's not Phoebe I don't trust, and I'm sure Gerald is still a sweet boy, but I don't know the... _ **other**_ boys that'll be there." She sighed aloud so the both of them could hear. There would have to be some sort of compromise she figured. She lightly glared at the two loves of her life. "Alright fine, you can go. **BUT** , you have to eat dinner here first and I still want to hear about your day."

The father looked over to his daughter and gave her a wink as she nodded respectfully towards the woman. "Yes, mother."

Kyo yanked off his cell phone which was clipped to his belt, and set it onto the breakfast bar. "She can also borrow my phone for tonight, if that makes you feel better, my dear. We can all share a piece of this compromise."

Reba lightly glared at her husband; how was it that she always turned out to be the bad guy in these situations? "I want you home by eleven. And you're on dish duty before you leave."

"Of course, thank you two." Phoebe bowed courteously.

_**XOXOX** _

The short girl made her way towards the cross streets where Gerald said he'd wait for her. She supposed driving to their destination was the best option. The red shed where the boys played The King Rules was only a couple blocks east, so she left the house on foot to make it more convincing to her parents.

She stared at the setting sun hovering above the skyscrapers of New York City. A violet sky against the orange reflection of the tall buildings. Something she definitely wouldn't mind painting sometime.

Phoebe glanced down and kicked a stray pebble. She may have re-done her makeup. She may have changed her outfit a couple times before leaving the house. What did people usually wear to these things? She surmised her nicest band tee would do and a pair of black jeans. She wore purple sneakers to compliment the ribbons wound around her arms and her makeup was done modestly. She didn't want to look like she was trying _too_ hard.

The sidewalk turned to rubble as the girl neared the train tracks. Her eyes altered to the thick metal lines that led throughout the city, and the wooden planks in between those lines. So many times in her youth she would pass the tracks to get to the small town that her grandparents lived near. She may have wondered what it would've been like to hop on one of those carriages and end up who knows where. She wasn't too much of a free spirit, but she was an inquisitor. Of course, wherever she would have ended up, she would fulfill her curiosities and head back to the place that she called home.

The teen inhaled the cool air and walked across the metal lines, continuing her trek. Eventually she met those cross streets that Gerald mentioned earlier. Finding the teenage boy leaning against an older vehicle. It was muscly, and she smiled to herself, knowing that the Johanssen boys had a knack for driving fast cars.

Gerald looked up from his flip phone as he spotted the girl walk casually towards him in the dwindling light. He closed it and embraced her in a friendly greeting. "Glad you could make it!"

She grinned and felt the fabric of the letterman's jacket he wore over his grey tee as she pulled back. "I didn't know you were on the football team."

He chuckled and placed the phone in the front pocket of his jeans. "I'm not. It's Jamie-O's old jacket." He glanced around to see if there were any bystanders and then leaned close. " _And I don't really tell people this, but, it's_ _ **lucky**_ _."_

She raised her brow. "Lucky?"

He smirked and crossed his arms smugly. "Yep, it gives me an advantage in The King Rules all the time. Plus it's totally a confidence booster."

"Hmm." She responded quietly as she eyed the jacket. It appeared to be average. Just a red and white letterman's jacket with the Hillwood High emblem stitched on the front.

He noticed her gaze. "You want to try it on?"

She attempted to act coy in her response. "We'll never know if it's _truly_ lucky if another person never wears it. Someone _outside_ of the Johanssen bloodline."

He laughed as he tugged off the garment from his arms and shoulders. "Sure, how bout' you wear it for the night." He said as he then lightly draped it over her short stature.

Phoebe pressed her arms through the jacket and pulled up the sleeves. It didn't fit too loosely, it was at least warm and it did smell like Gerald, which wasn't a bad scent in the slightest.

"You don't look half bad, Heyerdahl. Should we test your luck?" He asked as he yanked a quarter from his pocket. "Heads or tails?"

"Hmm...Tails."

Gerald flipped the quarter in the air with his thumb, caught it in his palm then slapped it atop his other hand. He lifted his palm and glanced down at the verdict of the metal coin. He grinned slyly and pocketed the quarter; opening the passenger door of the Trans Am. "Tails it is."

_**XOXOX** _

The motor rumbled as Gerald pulled into the parking lot of the venue in West Brooklyn. Phoebe felt her stomach quiver in anxiousness as he rolled to a spot and parked the vehicle. The engine went quiet. He disengaged the keys and looked over at her a little concerned. "You feeling alright?"

The shorter teen nodded mousily. "Yeah, I'm great." She was glad the sun had set, hoping that the shadows could wash over her timid features.

"Don't worry, it's a really chill place. You'll fit right in!" He exclaimed as he opened his door and exited the car. She followed in suit and inhaled a fragile breath of courage as she stared at up at the large warehouse that resided before her. It's outsides appeared old and worn; most of the windows broken, like it had been abused by vandals before it became a local music scene.

In the background of the tattered building laid the grand marina. A few boats rocked here and there against the gentle current; their anchors keeping them close against the dock. The water lapped the light of the moon and the sounds of the waves crashing against the pier gave her shivers. For a moment it was all that she could hear, just those tender movements of the bay; the ripples of navy hues beckoning her imagination in.

Gerald made his way towards the entrance of the venue, when he noticed she was no longer following him. He glanced back at his companion, grinning somewhat at her visual fixation of the scenery. Grungy guitars and a deep bass began to play behind him as colorful lights beamed through the broken windows; the ancient metal walls of the building began to tremor with the vibrations of sound. He called to her. "Hey, I think the headliner just started!"

She snapped out of her trance and nodded, jogging over to him. "Coming!"

The two reached the opening where a taller man stood in a t-shirt that read 'SECURITY'. Phoebe questioned the title, especially since he didn't look older than the age of twenty one. Maybe the shirt was worn to influence good behavior of the energetic guests.

Gerald grabbed a twenty from his pocket and handed it over to the young bouncer. The guard glanced over the bill for a moment before placing it into his back pocket. "Sup' Gerald? Who's your... _acquaintance_?" He asked crossing his arms.

"Hey, Kirk. This is Phoebe, she's a good friend of mine." The dark skinned teen responded casually, like he knew this person well. Phoebe just remained quiet as the encounter went on.

"Is she _cool_?" The way he asked seemed like he was implying something further than just the simple question. Gerald nodded agreeably. "Tight. Enjoy yourselves."

They walked away from the bouncer and into an area where several partygoers stood around in groups and conversed with each other. It was far from the stage, but close enough where you could hear the music and vibrations well. Miss Heyerdahl rose her voice to speak over the increasing volume. "You should've told me it was going to cost money, I would've brought some."

"Wouldn't that have shaken up your parents even more? Besides, I want you to have a good time, and meet a couple of my friends!" He responded as she followed him through the crowd, glancing up for a moment, noticing the weary metal sheets of the warehouse ceiling. The multi-colored lights bounced off the shimmery surface, making her smile to herself. When she looked back down to her companion, she noticed he had reached a teenage couple.

The unknown young man glanced over at Gerald and his face brightened, he smiled wide revealing teeth covered in glistening braces. "Gerald's here!" He exclaimed to the taller teenage girl that stood next to him, she was trying to get a view of the headliner over the many heads of the people by the stage.

Phoebe took in a large breath. Meeting new people was always nerve wracking, especially when you wanted to make a good impression. She stood next to Gerald awkwardly, fumbling with the jacket's zipper; head slightly bent down as she gazed at her purple sneakers and wiggled in her brace, waiting for him to introduce her.

Gerald did a handshake with the young man as he greeted the girl. "Hey, Lex, no spikes tonight?" He grimaced. "Ooo, nice shiner."

She responded with a scoff. "You should see the other guy, and nah, I ran out of hairspray."

"Probably a good thing. Give your brain cells a break."

"Oh, you're one to talk, hairspray king!"

Phoebe finally got the courage to look up, and when she did, taking in the sight of the girl before her, her heart felt as if it had done a backflip, a cartwheel, and many more gymnastics. Those sapphire eyes, that belonged to someone she had never met before; it had felt as if she had just seen them. The teen's facial features were similar to Helga's yet she was a bit taller, and not as thin. The resemblance was... _striking_ to say the least. Did Gerald not notice this? Was she the only one observing how much this young woman resembled Helga Pataki?

She was a brunette, by the sight of her roots and the buzzed hair on the sides of her head; her mohawk fell upon the side of her cheek and down her nape. Red and orange highlights tangled throughout her long locks, and it looked like fire against her fair colored skin. She wore a torn white shirt that had ripped sleeves and was being held together by large safety pins. Her denim jeans also appeared like they had been shredded by a lawn mower and her crimson high top sneakers complimented her hair. She adorned a large bruise near the center of her lower lip.

Gerald cordially introduced the couple. "Pheebs, I want to introduce you to some cool people, Lex, and Mo. Lex and Mo, this is Phoebe."

The young man was of middle eastern descent by his tan skin and prominent facial features. He was wearing dark eyeliner and eyeshadow, comparable to her own, with a black band tee and baggy green trimmed tripp pants. She also noticed his onyx colored fingernails and several studded bracelets.

"Pheebs, it's a pleasure." Lex responded kindly as she held out her hand.

The shorter teen's hazel eyes widened, hesitant that this could be another dream. She cautiously took the taller girl's palm and shook it. "Your name is _**Legs**_?"

Lex snorted humorously. "No, It's Lex, like, A-Lex-andria. It's just a nickname." She retorted graciously, and they released hands.

"Oh, oh my goodness. Right, of course, _doi_." She ended, but what exited her mouth left goosebumps upon her skin. Why was she increasing strangeness to the eccentricity she already felt? What was happening? There must've been a logical solution to all of this. It must've been all the added stimuli, rupturing her usually collected demeanor.

"It's really nice to meet you!" Mo greeted as he energetically fiddled his fingers together. "Are you new to our TKR group?"

"Um, _TKR_?" She questioned.

"The King Rules!"

Lex shook her head and crossed her arms. "It's all they ever talk about. I'm sure you get an earful."

The dark skinned boy grinned rather sheepishly. "I'm... _kind of_ easing her into it." He scratched the back of his head.

The taller girl looked down at Phoebe and smirked. "Don't let them pressure you."

Miss Heyerdahl attempted to recover. "Oh, he's barely pressuring. And we actually go to Hillwood High together." Wait, why did she utter that? Did anyone ask her what school she went to? Now that she thought about it, she didn't think so.

Before she could correct herself, Lex raised her brows and Gerald wrapped an arm over her shoulders, lowering his voice but bringing his face close to her ear so she could hear him. "Oh, Pheebs, sorry, I forgot to mention. Lex and Mo go to Westlake High."

She hesitated for the moment. She had just gotten back to the city around a week ago, so she wasn't sure why that was of any significance. "So…?"

"Their varsity football team is kind of our biggest competitor in the fall. So we try not to bring up high school stuff. It's like politics."

"Go Panthers!" The red haired teen retorted confidently. "What're you guys again, was it the Rats or the Sewer Kings?" She joked and Mo chuckled to himself.

Gerald met her cocky gaze with annoyance. "Hey, I told you he wasn't made up. Arnold and I really met him! He's one of the biggest legends of our neighborhood."

She raised up her hands in comical defeat. "Okay, Ger'. Okay." She then glanced in Phoebe's direction. "Would the lady like a drink?"

"Oh, goodness _yes_." The shorter girl answered instinctively but then corrected her enthusiasm. "Um, I mean…" She cleared her throat anxiously. "I would...yes, um, fancy a drink, but uh...I mean don't we...appear underage? I mean, _we are_. But...won't we be reprimanded?"

"It's cool, my older brother actually owns the place, and my other brother is the bouncer. Greg knows me and my friends are gonna drink anyways, so, he just prefers we drink where he or Kirk can at least check up on us. Besides, a lot of the students from the local community college come here, and we blend right in. You'll be safe." She said reassuringly, her sapphire eyes sparkling under the flaring lights.

Phoebe became caught in the gaze until Gerald intervened, suddenly realizing his arm was still upon her shoulder. "And if you ever feel like you're not having a good time, I can take you home right away."

"That means no drinks for you." Lex said to the dark skinned boy and looked back over to Miss Heyerdahl. "So, What will you have?

"Um...vodka and cranberry juice would be delightful, thank you."

"Coming right up!" The red haired teen responded as she strode away from their group, over to the bar.

The three were left there and Mo smiled politely at the Phoebe. The metal on his teeth shimmering. The band continued to play behind them and the shorter girl resisted the urge to nod her head along to the rhythm. "So, Mo..." She spoke up, attempting to make small talk. "What's your favorite Stephen King movie adaptation?"

His eyes widened and he placed his polished fingers upon his mouth in thought. "Oh, that's a good question. Probably…'Stand By Me'."

Gerald finally dropped his arm from his classmate's shoulders. "Dude, how did I not know that about you? That's _my_ favorite Stephen King movie."

The two boys began talking about films and the new expansion to their card game when she glanced over to the bar. Lex was chatting with the female bartender and leaning upon the counter; the employee laughed at whatever the teenager had said, then moved her hand to Lex's chin, gingerly rubbing her lip. She winced as she sympathized the story behind the bruise. The red haired girl spoke and the woman laughed again, preparing the drinks for their group. She continued to watch the ladies, unaware of her vacancy to Gerald and Mo, until the conversation was over and Lex picked up the tray of beverages and left the bar.

Phoebe blinked and averted her eyes when the young woman returned with the bottles and drinks, setting them on the nearby table. "Here you are." She said as she handed Miss Heyerdahl her drink. "I got myself a whiskey and coke. Mo, a blueberry gin and tonic, and a triple filtered water for the designated driver." She joked as she handed the two boys their glasses.

Gerald rolled his eyes as he took a meek sip from his beverage. " _Thanks_."

The shorter teen grinned cordially. "Thank you." She said as she placed her mouth over the thin red straw and noticed Lex's blue eyes, fixating on her for the moment. She suddenly felt insecure. "Something wrong?"

"I like your dimple piercings. They're cute. All of yours are actually. Don't you agree, Mo?"

He nodded as he sipped on his blueberry gin and tonic. "But do you have a tongue piercing?" He stuck out his tongue to show off the stud glittering in the middle of the small, wet muscle. He slipped it back inside his mouth. "Lex and I went and got tongue piercings for my eighteenth birthday."

She shook her head modestly. "Um, No, just the...ones on my face. No where else." She felt troublesome again. She usually excelled with words, and was confident in her speaking skills, but right now she felt tongue tied. Maybe as the night went on she would figure it out. Lex did look just like Helga, with minor details differentiating the two here and there. But so? So what, right? Why did that matter? She drew in a long sip of her vodka when the taller girl finished half of her drink in two large gulps.

Lex set her glass down onto the table. "Phoebe, we have to let you in on the small game we play before we head into the pit."

The shorter teen roughly swallowed the strong liquid but her face reflected curiosity. "A game?"

Gerald huffed unpleasantly as he interjected into the conversation. "She doesn't have to play."

"Well, why don't we let her decide that?" The red haired girl shot him a look for a moment then turned her attention back to Phoebe. "Phoebe, you may have noticed the bottles I brought to the table as well. First rule is, we each get a bottle, except for Gerald of course-"

Mo excitedly intervened. "We chug em' and whoever finishes last, has to lead us into the pit!"

"Exactly." Lex finished as the dark skinned boy remained uncomfortably quiet.

"What do you mean, lead?" Miss Heyerdahl thought she understood what was going on, but she wanted to be one hundred percent sure.

Mo responded up after another sip of his drink. "We all link arms, and then the loser has to...well you know, navigate through all the people."

The young woman smirked and glanced at one of the condensated bottles then back at Phoebe. Her cobalt colored eyes held a firm determination. "Not trying to scare you Phoebe, but I _always_ finish first."

Mo snorted abruptly to himself at some inside joke, almost choking on his gin, however, the shorter teen sighed and nodded, obviously locked into Lex's ambitious gaze. She puffed out a lung of air. She wasn't too savvy with games, but she did know competition. She could do this.

"Like Gerald said, we can let you pass if you want; Mo and I can duel it out."

"I've been working on my chug!" The tan boy exclaimed as he lifted his drink and slurped the rest of the gin and blueberries down; slamming the glass against the table.

"Oh, no, of course I want to join." She responded eagerly as she took one of the bottles and angled the top against the edge table, slamming her fist down to pop off the cap. Phoebe grinned for approval as small bubbles poured over the top and dripped onto her knuckles.

They all stared at her rather stunned and wide eyed.

Her smile faded. "What…?" She asked, as if she had done something wrong.

Lex just chuckled, clearing the air, and shook her head. "Why don't we make this more interesting? We'll have you pass, Mo, just for tonight."

The boy pouted in discontent. "What? But I really think I have a chance of not being last!"

Gerald interjected. "Dude, you've kinda' been last the past four times."

"Right, and my brother is tired of you puking on the floor when you chug too fast."

"Okay…" He solemnly responded and lightly kicked the base of the table.

"How do you know I won't be last?" Phoebe pried.

The taller girl grinned smugly. "I don't. But Mo already has a pretty good track record so far." She said as she grabbed one of the bottles and placed it to her mouth, hooking the top onto her back molar and yanked down, the cap quickly coming off. She spit the metal piece to the ground and held her beer out to Phoebe. "Cheers."

They clinked the two bottles as Mo began the count down and Gerald shook his head at the childish display that he had partaken in many times before. "Alright, on the count of three. One...Two…" Mo paused for dramatic effect. "Three!"

The two girls threw their heads back as they both gulped down the liquid at record winning time. Suds drifted from their mouths, down their chins. Phoebe finished and slammed the drink down, but noticed Lex had completed hers at the same time.

Phoebe responded first and hastily looked to Gerald. "Who was quicker?"

The dark skinned teen was rather awestruck, obviously he didn't know this special skill his shorter friend had. "You girls practically finished at the exact same time."

Mo chimed in. "Yeah, maybe if there was a slo-mo replay I could tell. But, to the naked human eye it looked the same."

Miss Heyerdahl sighed as the liquid settled into her stomach. "So who leads?

Lex pulled out two more bottles from the cardboard pack she had brought from the bar, lifting one to each side of her mouth and popped them open with her back teeth, spitting the metal to the ground again. "Why don't we do one more round? You cool with that Phoebe?"

"Of course." She responded assuredly, accepting the glass container from the other girl.

"Pay close attention boys." The red haired teen stated to the two males of the group.

Mo released a chuckle at his friend's ambitious demeanor and raised his hand into the air. "Alright, on the count of three. One...Two...THREE!" He slammed his hand down onto the table and the two teenagers were at it again. Although this time Phoebe had finished her beer a mere second before her competitor. She thought she would definitely lose due to the carbonation already unsettling her stomach and throat, but no, after a couple swift seconds of chugging, much to her surprise, she had won.

Gerald commented. "Okay, Phoebe totally schooled you that time."

"So she did." She nodded agreeably and held out her palm for the shorter girl to shake. They took each other's hand, however, the red haired teen didn't let go. The was a rise in the crowd. The main band had come to the stage. "Looks like we're just in time. You boys better hold onto her, it's going to get bumpy moving to the front."

Miss Heyerdahl's eyes widened as Lex pulled her, and Gerald quickly grabbed his classmate's other wrist, also clutching the fabric of Mo's shirt, pulling the teenager along as he took a sip of one of the extra beers. The guitars and drums began to play loudly as Phoebe gazed at Lex's back while they entered the cheering and dancing crowd. The colored lights flared overhead, the bodies sweat and exuded smoke and alcohol, yet once she glanced up over their leader's head and saw the band, all of the germs and smells and yelling seemed perfect.

They finally maneuvered to the front and let go of each other and Phoebe couldn't help but grin excitedly. She stood there in awe for the moment as the singer glanced down at her simplistic but happy face and he smiled before screaming lyrics into the microphone. She then felt a nudge come from her left.

The young woman smirked at her and started rocking her head to the beat, encouraging Phoebe to do so as well. She also aggressively started to play an air guitar and the shorter girl let out a laugh that disappeared into the music. She humorously mimicked Lex as her eyes caught Gerald, surprised to see him jumping around, raising his fists in the air, and Mo stood there sipping on his beer, eagerly bobbing his head along.

_**XOXOX** _

She snuggled into the tattered sofa, getting comfy into her brace and Gerald's jacket as she sipped on her drink. There were a few couches around a small table near the back of the venue. You could still hear the band, but also listen to the company of friends. It was nice not having to scream every word to the person next to you.

Gerald comfortably wrapped his arm over her shoulders as he sunk into the worn cushions as well. They had all danced for several songs, and the two classmates had taken a break to let their feet rest. Lex and Mo wanted to rock out for a few more numbers, seeing as they were here almost every other night. She hadn't felt his touch in a very long time. It was cozy, and unalarming. Or maybe it was just the alcohol in her bloodstream.

"Do you ever invite Arnold here?" She asked aloud.

He looked over at her as he took a drink of his water, knitting his brows in thought. "Once or twice. I don't think it's really his scene. Plus I know he doesn't like The King Rules. That's actually how Mo and I met, he comes to all the meetups when he's not here. And then he and Lex are really good friends. So I come to 'the Ware' and we all kinda' hang out." He nodded at her. "It's like I'm living a double life."

"They both seem really nice. This double life doesn't seem unpleasant at all."

"Plus, Arnold, I don't like babysitting him. He downs a couple beers and then goes crazy and runs off and I can't find the goof. Sometimes, I just want to come, kick back and listen to the band."

She gazed down into her glass, the vodka almost gone. She twirled around her straw absently as she meekly responded. "I'm sorry we didn't keep in touch."

One of his dark brows rose. "What? Nothing to be sorry for. We all get busy, have our own lives. Besides, you're here now. Long distance friendships seem kind of shitty."

She shrugged and sipped the rest of the liquid. "They work for some people."

"I feel like you just miss out on all of the physical interactions."

"Sometimes physical interactions are void of intimate, mental companionships."

"Point taken." He stated and smiled at her, setting his water down to put his hand into his pocket, finding the quarter from earlier. He showed it to her. "Head or tails?"

"Heads."

He flipped it and slapped it into his knee this time since his arm was still resting on her shoulders. His brown eyes showed amusement. "Your luck is still going strong. Hey, you didn't get brutally moshed in the pit. But even if you did, I would've been there to save you."

She chuckled slowly, feeling those beers from earlier. "O-kay. Are you suddenly my knight in... _sparkling_ black armor?"

"Well, maybe for tonight, but every other time, I'm always a _King._ You know, the black knight in TKR is actually a super powerful card when stacked against the red troll of doom."

She shook her head as their other companions walked over to the couches. Lex plopped down on a sofa opposite to Gerald and Phoebe, propping her sneakers upon the small table. "My legs hurt...but it was worth it…" She ended breathlessly as Mo excitedly walked to Gerald's side, he had his flip phone out.

"Ger', I just got a text from Jose, he's out in the parking lot and he brought the new dungeon booster pack, you want to go check it out?"

Gerald's eyes widened for a moment. His casual demeanor roused into enthusiasm. "Oh shit, um...well, I-" He glanced nervously over to Phoebe.

She lifted her hand up and gestured politely towards the exit of the venue. "Go ahead."

"You sure you'll be okay?"

"I'll stick with her." Lex spoke up and grinned, rather tiredly.

"Alright thanks!" He said as he stood up, following Mo through the crowd, towards the parking lot.

The red haired teen inhaled a breath of relief before speaking. "Did you enjoy the band?"

Phoebe nodded and pulled out a jewel CD case from one of the large pockets in the jacket. "I have their latest album." Gerald was kind enough to purchase it for her. She didn't want to spend his money in the first place, but he wouldn't take no for an answer, and she was grateful to add it to her collection of music.

"Nice. I'm glad Ger' brought you."

"Me too." She paused, and even though her body felt fuzzy, her thoughts were somewhat restless. "Is there, um...an outside area to the venue? I saw the marina on the way in. It was... _amazing_." She attempted to keep her cool, but Lex noticed her lip twitch in hopefulness.

"Yeah, we can head outside to the back if you want. It is getting kind of stuffy in here. And by stuffy I mean, it's starting to reek like a boys locker room." She ended comically.

The two girls got up and Lex voluntarily placed her palm onto Phoebe's back as they moved their way through the drunk and still dancing crowd. She noticed a large square opening near the side of the venue, as if it used to be a loading dock for the warehouse, maybe for fish or other sea creatures. They walked down the wooden ramp and into the dirt and broken concrete. There were concert goers around, talking over a beer or smoking cigarettes; a few barrels resided about, fire flickering in the cylinders. She gazed about at the scenery, taking in the scents of wood burning and sounds of the crashing waves. She excitedly skipped over to the dock as the taller girl shoved her hands into her pockets.

"Wow." Miss Heyerdahl drew in a heavy breath. "I haven't smelled the ocean in a long time."

"I take it you're not from around here?"

Phoebe strolled down the platform of the harbor, running her fingers over the sleek hulls of the boats that floated by the dock. Lex casually followed her from behind, slightly smiling as the shorter teen finally sat at the end of the platform. She hung her legs over the edge, calmy kicking her feet against the waves as her companion sat down beside her.

Phoebe grinned to herself and finally answered the question. "I'm from Paris. Paris, Kentucky. I should clarify, I was born there, lived here, moved back to Paris, and then, back here again. To Hillwood, I mean."

Lex leaned back upon her elbows on the planks of the dock. "No shit? I was born and raised in Austin." She chuckled gently. "No offense, but what the _hell_ is there to do in Paris?

"Nothing I suppose any average person would call ' _fun'_. My grandparents had a farm and we settled with them for a couple years. Most of the time I was studying bio-fuels. I was distilling corn meal into ethanol and fuel for my grandfather's tractor in the summer months. Things like that."

The red haired teen was speechless for a moment at the response. "Wow. That's kind of...a great skill to have."

"In the seventh grade, I fueled one of our lawnmowers and auditioned it into the Bourbon County Science Fair." Phoebe bit the inside of her lip. "It won _second_."

"Second? That's bullshit. You were like, what? Twelve? That's incredible for a twelve year old."

"One student created a remote-controlled lawnmower. He won first." She giggled to herself at the disappointing memory. In retrospect, she found it amusing.

Lex sat up and leaned forward, relaxing her elbows onto her thighs. "The fuel business is dirty. Dirty, dirty, dirty. It's all about politics and big money; we'd probably all be running on _water_ and _clouds_ if it weren't for that. Reminds me of one my favorite Stacy Romero songs."

Phoebe found herself smiling at the comment and gazed up at the glowing moon. "'Choke Me Harder'."

"Yeah." She glanced over to the shorter girl inquisitively. "You listen to Dr Iron Claw?"

"They're...my favorite band." She responded as she squinted her eyes and tried to make out the craters in the large luminescent orb. She bit her lower lip this time and blinked, snapping out of her artistic imaginings. "Um...so, why did you leave Austin?" She asked and stared back at her companion.

"Ah." Lex entwined her fingers together and watched the continuous waves. "My mom left me, my dad and my brothers when I was little. She just packed up her shit and was gone one morning. I think Texas just reminds him too much of her. Plus he's a contractor and found work up here. Kind of how we ended up getting this place." She said, referring to the building behind them.

Phoebe was silent for a moment, her voice softened. "...I'm sorry she left."

"Don't be. If she would've stayed...it would've funked everything up. Life would've been the pits. She's a really selfish person. My dad and my brothers, we all get along pretty well. We tolerate each other at least." She laughed faintly to herself and kicked the water, making a small splash.

"I couldn't imagine life without my mother."

"Yeah?"

Phoebe hesitantly touched the side of her face, running her fingers over the bumps and blemishes. "My...my scars. It was from a car accident. I was hospitalized for a long time, but...my mother walked away with minor injuries. No physical pain would've compared to losing her."

Lex stared at her, noticing some of the old wounds and the far away gaze in Miss Heyerdahl's hazel eyes. "That's deep. And...poetic."

Phoebe grinned gently and and returned the look. "My hands are definitely better skilled with a brush than with a pen. I love reading poetry though. Do you... _write_?" She asked, almost worried about Lex's answer.

The taller teen shook her head. "No, that's Lance's forte, my younger brother, however, I am a pretty mediocre drummer. Me and my bros, we have a band that plays here sometimes. We're called CrapCake. You should come check us out. I can get ya' backstage pass."

Phoebe released a giggle. "That's a good band name. By the way, how many brothers _do_ you have?"

The red haired girl rolled her eyes. "Unfortunately, _five_." She nudged Phoebe's thigh with her own. "What about you, you have any siblings?"

"No. I'm an only child." She sighed rather solemnly.

Lex responded with a positive tone. "Must be nice, you don't have people borrowing your skateboard or your _toothbrush_ all the time."

"Honestly. It can get pretty lonely."

The young woman stared at Miss Heyerdahl before averting her eyes forward, out to the vast bay; buildings and homes of New Jersey meeting at the opposing edge of water, miles away.

She pondered and blinked slowly before speaking up. Phoebe was gazing up at the moon again. "You want to know a deep dark secret I've never told anyone?"

The shorter girl's eyes widened in modest surprise and she glanced over to her companion; she had just recently met Lex, not asking for any kind of comradery, yet the taller teen was putting trust in her. It felt nice. She would indulge sensibly yet sympathetically if Lex truly needed to get something off her chest. "If you currently need a _confidant_ , I am a excellent keeper of secrets."

Lex smirked and pushed Phoebe's thigh again. She looked to the New Jersey skyline as she relinquished her buried thoughts. "One time, when I was little, I was really upset at Kirk; he taped a firecracker to one of my favorite 'Yo Earnest' figurines. And _completely destroyed_ it. That day, I ran away from home. My dad drove around for hours searching for me until he found me at one of our favorite diners. Kirk eventually apologized for blowing up the figurine, and I love all of them but, I still secretly want to run away. Maybe change my name; join the circus. Pull swords out of my throat; breath fire and all that." She glanced down at the watery reflection of the moon. Listening to the waves for a moment. Her voice cracked into a whisper. " _But, I'm also afraid...that I'll end up just like my mother. Just running away from everything._ "

Phoebe gazed at her as the taller teen continued to stare down into the dark and navy colored bay. She wasn't sure how to respond. So she said the first thing that came to her mind. " _What liberty a loosened spirit brings._ "

Lex glanced over at her questionly. "What's that from?"

"Oh it's...part of a poem by Emily Dickinson." She mentally cringed; the literature she had copyrighted when she was young must've stuck with her all this time. What a horrible thing to remember and probably at a terrible time.

The red haired girl inhaled, secretly relieved to release these harbored ideas out into the open. She figured she could return the favor. "What about you? What's your deep dark secret?"

Phoebe immediately thought of her dream the other night. She could disclose this information to a stranger; Lex didn't attend her school and probably wouldn't tell anyone. She could ask things like, _what does it all mean_? Or, should she pursue or deny these phantasmal actions? She sighed heavily, obviously she needed to let something escape. She could feel her back muscles twinge in her brace and responded uncomfortably. "I'll tell you something, but you can't tell Gerald."

Lex chuckled and scooted closer on the edge of the dock. She looked back, making sure there was no sign of their dark skinned friend. "That's why it's called a deep, dark secret. Oh, _and_ I swear on all of my brothers lives; you can trust me."

"I...I already have my highschool diploma. I received it before the summer." It definitely wasn't the deepest or darkest secret she could think of, but it was true. Her parents obviously knew, but none of her classmates or longtime friends did.

The young woman's features became perplexed. "But you...you're _IN_ highschool. How's it possible that they still let you attend?"

"A considerable amount of doctor's notes. My PTSD therapist thought it would be beneficial for me to still go, since I 'lost a portion of my childhood' as he put it. I guess he didn't want me to race straight to college. And my parents agreed. So, right now I attend all honors classes and I can receive another diploma if I want." She rolled her eyes and exhaled again. She knew in her gut that she should be in college right now. Maybe she _was_ scared and hesitant. Not just about her academic career, but everything else that was happening in her life. In her dreams she felt brave, and in reality...it was another story. Which side was the true Phoebe? But then again, humans were very complex-

Her companion interrupted her intellectual tangent. "Well, is that what _**you**_ want to do?"

She shrugged simply. "I think he's right. I don't...I don't believe I'm ready for college yet. Right now, I get to spend more time with my parents and…" Her throat went dry. " _Friends._ "

"At least you'll get the full blown high school experience." Lex shivered. "I'm glad I'm almost done. High school sucks." She said as she absent mindedly rubbed the bruise on her lip.

It was Phoebe's turn to shiver as her eyes glanced to the taller girl's facial wound. She encouraged. "It seems like you're pretty popular around here."

She waved her hand. "Oh, I'm just a regular. If anything, it's kind of pathetic how often I'm here. Greg lets me do whatever I want, and his wife is really cool. She's one of the bartenders." She smirked and peered over. Miss Heyerdahl's hazel eyes didn't want to look away from Lex's lips for some reason, however she met the blue irises. "Besides, I like hanging with you, _Pheebs_."

The familiarity was uncanny; she could feel herself sweating in Gerald's varsity jacket, even though there was a cool breeze from the waves. Her cheeks felt hot as her eyes obsessed over the detail in those cobalt and navy colors swirling around Lex's pupils. She leapt back into the infatuating concoction of whatever fog clouded her brain when she slept. All the images and feelings burned in the pit of her stomach, intoxicating her current state of mind.

Lex was about to question the profound stare her companion was giving her, when Phoebe slowly inched her face closer. The taller teen was surprised, but her lips curled into a small smile before the proximity of their faces diminished and their mouths met in the faint light of the moon.

_**XOXOX** _

Gerald glanced down at the card his friend had loaned him when he walked back inside the venue and to the couches where he last left Phoebe. Not seeing her, his face scrunched in confusion. He quickly glanced around at the dwindling mass of people in the area. He didn't see her or Lex. He strode over to the ladies room, asking two females walking towards the facilities if they could check for his friend. She wasn't there. He breathed out nervously, the only other place she could've been was outside, by the back of the building. He walked towards the large square opening and ran down the deck. Noticing sparse people hanging around the burning barrels. It was then that he saw the silhouette of the figures down the harbor dock. He sprinted forward, rather desperately, hoping It would be Phoebe and Lex, but as he got closer and the girls two forms came into better view, his hopes faded.

A knot tied in his chest as his pace slowed and he let out a relieved but uncomfortable huff; walking down the platform he finally made his presence known. "I'm glad I could introduce you two." His voice was rough.

The two girls quickly pulled their lips apart and a deep red blush bloomed upon Phoebe's cheeks as they looked back at Gerald.

Lex was the only one to speak in the tension that now wafted around them, since Phoebe was caught up in...the heat of the moment? The horrifying awkwardness of getting caught? The fog of her persisting dream-state? Probably all of those combined.

" _Uh…_ "

Gerald shot a mean look at the red haired teen. He then cleared his throat and turned to his classmate. "Phoebe, We should...probably get back before your parents freak." Even he was having a hard time with words right now.

She blinked, regaining some consciousness of impending reality. "Oh...yes. That's probably a good idea. I wouldn't want my mother to worry." She responded as she lifted her legs from the waves and pushed herself up from the dock. Lex did as well.

"Oh, well, if it's easier for you guys, I can take her home on the Triumph. In case you want to stay longer Ger'." The taller teen chimed in. "I, uh, know how much you and Mo love talking about TKR, and the expansions or whatever." She drew in a flushed breath of her own as she slid her hands into the back pockets of her jeans.

Gerald crossed his arms and spoke bitterly. "Well, thanks for the offer, _Lex_ , but I'm sure she'd be freezing on that bike. She'd be much warmer in the Trans Am."

The young woman's posture stiffened at her friend's response. She snapped back. "Well, if your jacket isn't keeping her warm on the bike, then she can always borrow _**mine**_."

Phoebe's eyes widened, her logical state of mind now back in the present, She moved herself between the two to prevent an escalated argument. "Look, Lex, I really appreciate the offer, but it is best if Gerald takes me home."

"No worries. There's always next time." She responded, attempting to collect her cool as she glanced down and gave a weak smile.

The shorter girl hesitated for a moment but offered a polite response. "Good night."

Gerald rolled his eyes as he turned quickly and trudged away; Phoebe followed him.

"Bye!" Lex called from behind them as they made their way around the side of the building and to the parking lot where the dark haired teen's car resided.

Miss Heyerdahl shrugged her shoulders as she slid off the jacket and handed it over to him while he pulled out the keys to the vehicle. She sighed, rather upset and embarrassed. "It contains too much power. I don't think I'm ready for it."

Gerald paused before accepting the article of clothing. "Your CD is still in here."

"I can receive it later. My mother will start asking questions anyway."

He shook his head, leaning against the body of the Trans Am. "Did she put you up to that?"

Phoebe stood there awkwardly and crossed her arms, wiggling her waist slightly to adjust her brace. She couldn't wait to get home and take it off, her stomach started feeling queasy and the compression wasn't currently helping. "Put me up to what?"

He looked off to some of the other vehicles parked in the lot, then peered down to the keys in his palm. " _You know…_ "

She held the feelings for a moment; recollecting what had happened minutes before. She was still rather in shock. The fact that she had acted on something that was...somewhat irrational...yet wonderful... "No."

"Too much to drink?'

Now she was on the defense. "No."

"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it. Lex can be very-"

"It happened, Gerald. It happened, and _**I**_ did it." She exhaled heavily and dropped her arms to her sides. "I just did it. I kissed _**HER**_ , okay?" She tightened her hands into fists and breathed in calmly. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to lash out. I just don't appreciate the interrogation."

"Oh." He swallowed and tossed the varsity jacket over his shoulders; fidgeting with his keys some more. "I'm sorry too, I just...I guess I'm protective. Lex is a senior, you're-"

"Sweet, innocent Phoebe? And she is some... _rebellious deviant_?" She asked ludicrously.

He stared back at her gravely, deeply feeling the error in his assumptions. "I'm sorry. You're right. I guess I kind of do think that way. I shouldn't have intervened. It's your business."

"You were just acting upon your preservative nature. It's fine." She supposed she was acting upon some sort of natural instinct as well. Now she _really_ wanted another drink.

He nibbled on his lower lip and smiled faintly to himself. "So...you and Lex, huh?"

Phoebe rolled her eyes. Hadn't she endured enough for one night? "I'm dealing with some... _things_ right now in my life. A multitude of things. Can we please leave it at that?"

"Right. I gotcha." He gestured to his car. "Shall we?" He asked modestly.

The shorter girl rounded the vehicle and got into the passenger side. She sulked into the seat, releasing an uneasy sigh as Gerald entered the vehicle as well. He attempted to lighten the mood. "So, I'm guessing...you'll be coming back next week?"

She glanced out the window as he started the engine and reversed out of the parking spot. "Honestly, I might be more complacent playing The King Rules."

He released a stifled chuckle. "Now Lex will definitely want to play with us."

"Oh my goodness, Gerald. We JUST talked about this."

"I know, I know. I'm just sayin'." He responded with a grin upon his mouth, shifting the vehicle into drive. "Maybe she'll want to be your Black Knight."

"Stoooooop." She whined as she sat up and pushed his shoulder lightly. The dark skinned boy exhaled one more coy giggle and ceased his teasing.

_**XOXOX** _

Phoebe opened the un-locked door of the Heyerdahl house as Gerald's engine could be heard, motoring down the avenue. She noticed the light on in the living room and made her way to the quiet space; noticing her mother sitting on the sofa with her legs tucked by her side, a book in her hands and a blanket draped over the woman's torso. She glanced up eagerly to see her daughter enter the room and affectionately smiled. "Hey, baby. How was it?"

The girl reciprocated the grin. "It went well. Were you waiting up for me?"

"Of course. I wasn't worried or anything." She responded as she folded her novel and set it on the nightstand next to the couch, then placed her feet onto the floor as she patted the spot next to her.

The short teen strolled over, reaching her hands under her shirt as she released some of the pressure off of her stomach and sat down beside her mother. She curled up her legs and laid down on the older woman's lap, releasing a tired breath. Eventually, she pulled out her father's phone from her pocket, handing the cellular device to Reba to set on the nightstand next to the book.

"How did your brace work out for ya'?"

Phoebe blinked as the woman then moved her fingers into her black and blue locks, ruffling it consolingingly. She attempted to respond positivity, yet her voice was rather dry. "Splendid."

"How was the game? Did you slay any...uh, _goblins_?"

The girl stared at the opposing sofa in their living room. Another lie she would have to keep from her loved one. Was that her life now? Was she a liar? She would have to tell her mother all these brooding notions eventually. It left a sour feeling in the pit of her stomach. "I mostly shadowed this time. They're all experts, so, it's better if I spectate and learn terms."

"M'kay." She responded in a comforting tone. "Oh, by the way, Helga called."

Phoebe jolted upward abruptly and Reba's eyes widened in response to the motion. "She did?"

The woman nodded. "Yeah, poor girl was in a tizzy. She said something about how she didn't mean to leave you hangin' and something about Scranton, Pennsylvania and...an exploding vehicle? She seemed rather distraught."

"Is she safe? Is she alright?" The teenager asked the questions hastily.

The mother shrugged calmly. "Well, the caller ID was the Pataki house number, so, I'm assuming so. Maybe she can explain it better to you tomorrow at school."

Phoebe exhaled in relief and then nuzzled her head against her Reba's shoulder. "What a day."

The older woman lifted her arm to wrap it around the girl's upper torso. She rubbed her daughter's arm tenderly. "You're telling me. But I'm happy you're back, safe and sound, _lemon squeeze_."

Phoebe slowly closed her eyes as she felt the soothing brush of her mother's fingers against the scars of her skin. The thoughts dwelling on her mind most likely transfering over to her dream state. Sapphire eyes, calm moonlight, ocean waves and soft lips. Despite the calamity frenzying in her gut, the chaotic knots in her heart, and the infatuating fog clouding her brain, she was utterly content. " _Me too._ "


	13. Her - Part 1

_**XOXOX** _

_It began where it all ended._

_With a fracture in her_ _ **heart**_ …

The monster let out one last wicked laugh before thrusting its claws into her chest. Her rib cage collapsed inward at the force and an insufferable pain sliced through her heart as the creature cruelly clutched the sensitive organ.

She reactively grabbed the forearm of the beast. Her bloodshot eyes straining with the internal puncture. Her withered voice raspily let out a response. " _No._ "

" _You're. Too. LATE!_ " The demonic creature hissed hatefully.

Fresh blood came up from her throat and stained her ivory teeth as she grated her molars together. She let out an excruciating moan.

Why was this happening... _again_? This horrible nightmare. Would she forever have these tortuous delusions; this beast ripping the life out of her? Feeding all this remorse towards Phoebe, towards _everything_? She tightly closed her eyes as she felt it squeeze her heart. She pushed these thoughts away, away from the guilt, and attempted to think of something positive.

_Bliss._

Her sapphire eyes opened as she witnessed the monster again. That's it. Something Bliss would say. Some encouraging words from one of their many sessions. She couldn't give in to this- _hate for herself_ ; this manifested creature.

She glowered at the shadowy creation as it's black smoke started filling the crushed cabin of the truck; suffocating her senses. She shouted with all her might. "No. I'm right... _ **HERE!**_ "

The mangled passenger side door of the pickup was yanked off and a ray of light pierced through the dark beast. It immediately screamed and a strong mechanical arm wrapped around the demon's throat from behind.

The wounded blonde gasped as its clutches escaped from her chest and the monster was violently pulled out of the truck, revealing the silhouette of a powerful figure holding the wailing creature against the illuminating rays. The mysterious heroine arched back their free hand and with a hasty swoop, pummeled a mighty fist into the gut of the shadow. It went flying into the sky as the figure watched it soar and then altered their attention back to the vehicle. They strode over and reached their machine-like hand into the cabin.

"Come on. _Get up_."

Helga blinked several times before she touched the mechanical fingers with her own. " _B-…B-Bliss?"_

The rays of light dwindled, revealing the features of her savior.

"Y-...You're….You're a cyborg with pink hair and a peg leg!?" The teenager exclaimed perplexed yet enthused.

Bliss grabbed Helga's hand and helped her out of the truck from the passenger side. The blonde stumbled to her feet as she dropped on to the asphalt of the intersection. She peered up at the older woman. Half of her form was made of fine metal and electronics. She had bright pink hair cut short, and a wooden pegleg attached to the organic side of her body. Her clothing was a resemblance of her usual professional attire, but torn and tattered like she just walked out of some zombie apocalypse. Oh, man, were zombies going to show up? That would be _soooo cool_.

Bliss held onto her hand the whole time. "Come on. You can do it."

The teenager pressed against her knee and achingly stood up, then clutched her chest. The lethal puncture was smaller, like it had started to heal itself. "Where…?" She glanced around. The light post was still lying where the truck had collided with it. The intersection was barren and fairly quiet with only the faint hum of street lights changing from green to red. Until another noise could be heard. The sound of wind whistling. She glanced up at the shadow that dropped through the air and then splatted to the ground. It's body instantly dismembered into gooey chunks and the hand bounced over to where they stood.

The fingers of the claw twitched appallingly until it poofed into a cloud of black smoke and drifted away.

Bliss altered her head and peered at Helga's chest where the hole had now mended completely. "How are you feeling?"

The blonde gazed up, surprised. The demon was gone, _for now_ , and Bliss. She- she was here! "Much better."

"Don't let it feed on you again. That's _yours_. To keep."

A smile found its way to her lips. " _Wow._ " She became enamored by the figure standing next to her in this foggy yet clear slumbering-state. Bliss had never come to her in a dream before. This was amazing. Plus, she was a freakin' cybernetic superhero! Helga admitted she may have also been reading too many comic books lately. She spoke earnestly. "This is probably the coolest dream I've ever had. Well, besides that one time when I was President and got to kick Lila's ass."

"That's just it. You turned a nightmare into a _dream_. _**You**_ did that."

She came closer, still holding onto the older woman's fingers tightly. "Is this like, one of those situations where all your teachings are _finally_ breaking through my subconscious and I'm...I'm healing or something!?"

Bliss squinted her eyes; the mechanical one flickered in thought. "Hmm, I can't tell you that for sure. But I think you're definitely on the right path to a breakthrough."

Helga shoved her free hand into the air excitedly. "Criminy, you just- _**whacked**_ that thing into the sky! And then it splattered like a bug on a windshield! Oh, man, what else can you do? Can you fly? Can you shoot lasers from your eyes?" She gasped and her blue eyes widened. " _Can we_ _ **make out**_ _!_?"

Bliss raised her organic brow. "What?"

" _What?_ "

"What was that last part?"

"I…uh...I said, can we get _take out_?"

The woman released a soft chuckle and shook her head. "You're a weird kid."

Helga awkwardly scrunched her facial features. " _I know…_ " She was _just wondering_ if this was going to turn into one of _**those**_ dreams...

Bliss grinned down at her. She looked just like she had all those years ago. Sitting in her chair in that comfortable office. Jotting down notes with an understanding gaze in her eyes as Helga would confess another embarrassing secret. Well, that, but now with some upgrades.

The blonde instantly felt the weight of her impending awaking, and she teared up. "Oh, Bliss." She leapt forward and wrapped her arms around the taller woman's waist. And to her joy, Bliss returned the embrace. "I wish you were _really_ here. I miss you. I miss you _so damn much_. I'm trying so hard, but I'm barely hanging in there...I-...I'm not sure what to do about Rhonda. I'm not sure what to do about Phoebe. Even that corny footballhead! I'm trying to do the right thing but...everything feels so weird like my emotions are tumbling around in a washing machine! Please, Bliss-you said this may be some sort of breakthrough! What does it mean?"

Before the cyborg woman could respond, there was a booming knock that echoed through the air. It alarmingly trailed through the intersection and the street. The was another knock. And then another. _Oh no. No, not yet_. She spoke frantically. "Bliss, what's it me-!"

_**~2003~** _

The door to Helga's room opened. "Wakey wakey, baby sister." The older sibling said as she applied her earrings and glanced down at the watch on her wrist. "I have meeting at seven so we're going to have to head out here soon."

Helga opened her blue eyes and immediately squinted at the clock on her nightstand. The fuzzy numbers read **6:13 AM**. She released a groan; her voice came out groggy and irritated. She altered them to the entryway of her room; a blurry representation of Olga was standing there. "You had to wake me up two minutes before my alarm? Olga, do you know what you've done? I was probably having the most important dream of my young life! THOSE TWO MINUTES ARE LIKE, **THIRTY MINUTES IN DREAM TIME!** "

Olga's hands dropped from her ears and they fell onto her hips. She obviously didn't want to hear it. "Well, I'm glad you're in such a good mood, because I've decided, _**you're**_ going to drive us this morning!"

That woke her up fully. The blonde teenager's eyes widened and she sat up; her covers falling into her lap, revealing her bare form. "I'm what?"

"You heard me. I think it's a splendid idea, and don't pretend you don't still have your permit. Now, come on, lazy bones. Otherwise you won't have time for breakfast." She chided lightly as she walked away and Helga pushed away the covers, setting her feet to the floor beside her bed. She hunched forward and massaged her dreary eyes. God freaking dammit, what was Bliss going to tell her? It was up there. In her jumbled brain somewhere. The answers!

She groaned frustrated then attempted to focus on the ground at her discarded clothes from yesterday. The blonde picked up the shirt and brought it close to her face to inspect. Flecks of ash remained and small holes from embers. She threw the pink shirt across the room and pondered for a moment, then shouted. "Hey, OLG'!"

The older sister responded somewhere throughout the house. "YES, BABY SISTER?"

"CAN I BORROW SOME CLOTHES? MINE ARE ALL DIRTY!" It wasn't completely true, but she was rather bored of her current wardrobe. Now was a better time than ever to start experimenting. "IT'S THE LEAST YOU COULD DO SINCE YOU WOKE ME UP **TWO MINUTES EARLY!** "

There was an audible sigh. "YES."

Helga stood up and put on her crooked glasses, then grabbed a bra and underwear from the dresser nearby and headed to Olga's room. She sighed as she attempted to let go of the dream. FOR NOW. Maybe Bliss would come back later that night as she slept, and the older woman could finally answer all her festering questions, and then they could soar up into the clouds, because she was definitely going to give her flying powers next time!

When she reached the familiar space, she covered her nose and let out a small cough. Olga's perfume permeated the walls and carpet. Some sweet, french sounding crap that Rhonda also used on occasion. ' _Grand et Parfait'_. It smelled worse than it sounded.

She walked past the neatly made bed and organized shelves to the closet. Helga opened the door and began rummaging through the shirts and pants. She attempted to find something _different_ than what she usually wore. Something that wasn't completely pink or plain. To her surprise, she eventually found a black t-shirt only to be disappointed by the colorful characters printed on the front. It screamed _**RATS!**_ She sighed and shouted again. "OLGA, DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING _COOL_?"

The eldest sister finally appeared by the open door of her room. "I'm sorry my wardrobe isn't to your liking. It's not like it was suited for me or anything." She commented sarcastically as she made her way over to where Helga was standing by the rejected hanging garments.

The young blonde shrugged. "Help a sister out."

Olga rolled her eyes and reached above the hanging clothes for a cardboard box on a shelf. She held it in her arms as she brushed the dust off the lid and handed it over to the teenager. "Some of my old college stuff is in here. It might be more your style."

Helga curiously opened it up and spotted a few worn t-shirts, plaid, and denim. She crouched down and set the box to the ground to rummage further. She discovered a ripped jean jacket, assorted grey tees, but nothing black. Guess she would eventually have to apply for that _job_ Olga wanted her to get so much if she wanted a wardrobe to her particular taste. She took one of the shirts and speculated the print on the front. "Who are _The Blueberries_?"

"I suppose you could say they were the Dr Iron Claw of my time. I can't believe you don't know who The Blueberries are. Didn't you ever hear me play their tape over and over again in my room?"

"No. Honestly, I droned out whatever noise came from this horrid sugary dungeon as much as physically possible."

"Well, they were a COOL band." She responded irritably and crossed her arms. "And your options are limited, miss."

Helga raised a hesitant brow. From the faded print, the band didn't look anything like Dr Iron Claw. Not awesome, toe-curling, blood-pumping, punk rock. More like depressing, cry-and-eat-a-gallon-of-ice-cream, grunge. Yet, beggars couldn't be choosers, and she slipped the tee and the blue flannel button up under her arm when she noticed another article of fabric. The young blonde then found a pair of ripped charcoal colored jeans near the bottom of the box and smirked. She held them up for view and said jokingly. "Well, at least I found _something_ worth wearing."

She stood up and started to get dressed as Olga nitpicked the neatly made bed. She fluffed the pillow as she casually spoke. "By the way, there's an office party thing this Friday with all the teachers and faculty of the school. So, I'll be out...for a while." She stated as she looked over to the younger sister.

Helga pulled the ripped jeans up her lanky legs and buttoned them after a swift zip. Her thoughts then raced and she tried to not smile. "Huh. Good to know." She commented and grabbed the flannel, pushing her arms through the soft fabric. She then quickly illustrated a generic response. "I mean, I'm grounded so, I'll probably just watch the boob tube for a couple hours then pass out." She grinned a little too wide at the end there.

Olga raised an apprehensive brow and set the pillow back to it's spot on the bed. "Or you could search for job ads in the paper. Put your little fingers to work writing applications." She said as she then turned her heel and walked out of the room.

Helga rolled her blue eyes and sighed as she ran her fingers through her unruly pink and blonde hair. She could invite someone or someones over and things would be WAY more interesting than glancing through some stupid paper.

The teenager spotted the decorative bottle of perfume in the corner of her eye on one of Olga's shelves. She sneakily took the glass and gave a spritz to her neck before setting it back and skipped to the hallway and down the stairs for something to eat.

_**XOXOX** _

"Wow, I'm so happy you're letting me borrow this. I've read books one through five and really enjoyed every moment of Blorp's investigations on Jupiter. Does she ever get promoted to homicide?" Arnold's green eyes widened and he audibly gasped. "Does she ever find where 'Gallacto' is holding the remaining victims of the Voyager City attack?" He then paused and thought to himself. "I bet his main base is on Callisto."

Phoebe chucked kindly. Her mother had dropped her off at the high school quite early since the woman had an appointment and errands she needed to tend to. She was sitting on the front steps, re-reading the latest installment of Rebecca Platt's 'The Space Between Us'; a thrilling sci-fi mystery slash adventure, when a familiar footballheaded teenager walked up and began chatting with her. "Jupiter has sixty four moons, Arnold. You'll just have to read it and see."

Honestly, she didn't mind the distraction. Her mind was still reeling from the night before. Did all that really happen? Did she _actually_ initiate the kiss with Lex? She kept replaying the scenario in her mind. She could remember the way the unfamiliar girl's lips tasted. She could remember the scents and sounds of the marina. And then there was Gerald, who witnessed the whole thing. So it HAD to have happened.

Everytime she recalled the moments, a titillating feeling blossomed at the pit of her stomach and then was shorty swapped with the sinking sensation of guilt. She had lied to her parents, her mother especially. How would she start _**that**_ lovely conversation? Fortunately, she didn't think Gerald would tell a soul, even though he was the keeper of tall tales. His stories remained fictional and she was very grateful for that.

He smiled earnestly. "Well, thanks again for letting me borrow this and agreeing to check out my club. If I get enough people to join, maybe I can host a book reading or something."

Phoebe was about to respond when she spotted Olga's sedan out of the corner of her eye. She absentmindedly spoke as the vehicle parked by the curb and Helga stood out from the driver's side. "That sounds…" She trailed off as Olga got out of the vehicle as well, rounded the front to hug her younger sister and then stepped back into the sedan. The vehicle drove off as Helga noticed the duo and made her way to the front steps of the building. She grinned and held up her hand in a greeting as her pink and golden hair glistened under the morning sun; her single notebook and pencil tucked under her arm.

Phoebe noticed the change in attire; the navy blue flannel bringing out the sapphire color in Helga's eyes. The dark jeans, the worn band t-shirt. That tickling feeling flourished in her stomach again. She hadn't seen Helga wear something other than pink for quite a while. She found herself smiling involuntarily. She really liked it. She managed a greeting back. "Good morning."

"Morning, Helga." Arnold smiled chivalrously.

"Good morning." She said more to Phoebe than Arnold.

"Were you driving?" The shorter girl asked inquisitively.

Helga crossed her arms and scoffed. "It's part of my _punishment_ for yesterday."

"What happened yesterday?" Arnold asked, and Phoebe was curious too, however, she planned on questioning Helga in a more private manner.

The blonde girl motioned for him to scoot to the left so she could sit between them on the concrete steps. He did and as she sat, she noticed the pink bow entwined into the purple ribbons around Phoebe's right forearm. She would definitely have to bring that up later. "It's a long story. Privy to selective people." She noticed the book in Arnold's hands and immediately changed the subject. "'The Space Between Us'? Arnoldo, I didnt think youd be interested in sci-fi fantasy. I figure 'Anne of Green Gables' would be more your _style._ "

"I like all kinds, Helga. And Phoebe's letting me borrow the latest book so I can catch up!"

Helga glanced over to Phoebe. The shorter girl was all too happy to see her blonde friend. "I didn't know you liked the series." _Doi._ Of course she didn't know. Because SHE was the one that stopped all contact six years ago. Helga guiltily cleared her throat. "It's like- one of my favorite book series of all time."

Phoebe's grin widened. "Me too!" A light blush crept through the tops of her cheeks. "Rebecca Platt is one of my all time favorite authors. What's your favorite part out of the series so far?"

Helga shook her head. "Always at it with the questions." Hence, again, probably the six year absence. She was still trying to get used to this 'fresh start' thing between them. The blonde girl placed her hand on her mouth in thought. "Probably the backstory of how Blorp's lizard-man boyfriend was murdered in cold blood. No pun intended. His brutal death by the Asteroid Gang is totally what sparked her to become a cop. Also, all the flashback scenes of them fucking. Who doesn't love interspecies alien sex? What about you?" _Yes, let's please continue to pretend hair boy isn't here._ Not that she wasn't on good terms with Arnold, but it was early. And he was really cramping her vibes right now.

Phoebe chuckled and gave a coy wink. "I have to agree, the romance scenes are written very well. However, in book four, when Blorp and her partner Cuckie travel to Neptune on a mission to find the lost city of the Neptunians, they stumble upon the abandoned factory of the StarLight Corporation, where we find out that the Neptunians were genetically altered human clones made BY the StarLight Corporation for free labor production. The Neptunians we're slaves, and it had been going on for hundreds of thousands of years!"

Helga smirked at her friend's enthusiasm. "You just like saying _Neptunians_."

Phoebe pursed her lips and shrugged simply. "Maybe I do."

Arnold interjected. "That's one of my favorite parts too! I really enjoy the mystery Rebecca adds into each book. And plus, Blorp never had a better partner than Cuckie. He went too soon…" The teenage boy shook his head and Helga mentally gagged. She glanced over at him.

"Arnoldo, Cuckie shot a laser blast into his thigh and died from infection. He was an idiot and Blorp is _way_ better off without him." She rolled her eyes.

"Yes, but you can't deny, Helga, that he had a pure heart and was the most loyal partner. He charged into so many battles between Blorp and the Asteroid Gang to _save_ her butt."

Now she physically gagged. "Because he was an IDIOT! She never told him to do that! Blorp always told him to hold behind cover, but he just- _**DID**_ what he wanted to do!" Helga exhaled and peered over to the shorter girl. "Come on, Pheebs, back me up here!"

Phoebe released a laugh she was holding in as she watched the two bicker. "I'm going to have to agree with Helga, Arnold. I wouldn't want Cuckie as a partner."

He sighed, defeated. "Well, I would." He responded as he stood up with the book. But before leaving he directed his attention towards the blonde girl. "By the way Helga, I'd be happy to take you glasses shopping after school today. That is if you're not busy. Might as well order them sooner rather than later." His optimistic tone returned.

Damn, she couldn't conjure a good enough excuse to get out of this one. _No, sorry, Arnold, I have to uh...alphabetize my Wrestlemania trading cards for the next two weeks?_ Plus, the crooked frames of her current glasses were starting to strain her eyes as she focused through the cracks. "I'm free as a bird, Shortman." She retorted dryly.

"Great! Well, I'll meet you on the field at around three thirty." He nodded to the shorter girl. "Thanks again, Phoebe. I'll see you ladies later!" He said as he walked up the steps and into the building with a few other students.

Helga moaned unhappily as she slouched into the concrete stairs. "You couldn't have backed me up on that one?"

"What're you talking about? Helga, You most certainly NEED new glasses."

"Yeah... _eventually_ , but you could've said you and I were hanging out."

"Oh?" A modest grin returned to her lips. "Are you implying something?"

"Well, turns out, Olga is going to be out of the house on Friday, if you want to...come over? We can do whatever you want to do! Oh, but if you need another reason, I have 'The Abyss' on VHS." She bounced her eyebrows playfully.

Phoebe commented in a teasing manner. "Oh my goodness, we could watch 'The Abyss' _AND_ do whatever I want to do? That sounds mighty tempting."

Helga nudged her companion's arm. "Only if you please tell me you one hundred percent never liked Cuckie."

Phoebe slipped out a giggle and then hesitated before responding. "It's like... _seventy five_ percent."

The blonde teen groaned audibly. "No, Pheebs, say it isn't so!"

"It's not just Cuckie! _All_ the Ratillians have some _very_ _hilarious_ gut-busting one liners! They're like, the brutish dwarves of space!"

Helga smiled at her friend. Obviously she was kidding. Kind of. "Rebecca Platt actually attended an event a while back in Baltimore and I got books one through three signed. She's _super_ cool."

"No way? I actually wrote to her publisher a couple years ago, explaining how the series…well, _benefited_ my sanity while I was recovering. She wrote me back and I-..." She released a sheepish chuckle. "I actually framed the letter." She gently pushed Helga back. "So I can't _completely_ dislike Cuckie. _**She**_ created his character and wrote him."

"Point taken." Her blue eyes then glanced down to Phoebe's arms. Now that _buzzkill_ was gone, they could actually have a conversation. "You wear it way better than I ever did." She spoke quietly, referring to the pink ribbon. The realization hit her. It's wasn't _hers_ anymore. It was now Phoebe's. Any sort of footballhead-obsessed past that the ribbon held in her heart, was gone. All she could do was witness how wonderful it graced Miss Heyerdahl's features.

"I beg to differ. However, I am _truly_ honored to wear it." She grinned as she gazed down and faintly touched the bow that was tied at her wrist. She then looked back up and scooted closer to her companion on the steps. "Now, are you ever going to let me in on what happened yesterday? My mother said you called and sounded pretty distressed."

Helga let out a disgruntled sigh. "Ugh, well, first, I guess I should apologize. I don't usually disappear like that. I'm MORE reliable than that. Shit's just been bat shit crazy lately. I don't want you to think I'm avoiding you. Because I'm not. I really DO want us to hang out more."

Phoebe's posture softened and she relished the eye contact the two shared. "Well, I won't say I wasn't worried. I did my best to keep my calm and not assume. You don't have to disclose all the details; I'm just content you're safe, and _here_."

Helga then became silent as her eyes drifted and she stared down at the stains in the concrete. A far away look reflected in those blue irises. Phoebe placed a reassuring hand upon her friend's back. "Hey. Did something... _happen_?"

The blonde exhaled heavily before speaking. " _Something_. Everything is fine, but…" She turned back to stare at Phoebe directly. "I think we need to talk."

_**XOXOX** _

She sat in her first class, rather dazed and astounded from what happened just around a half hour ago. After leaving the front steps of the school and heading inside, the two girls made their way to a secluded row of books in the library, it made her nostalgic of old times. And then, Helga confessed _everything_.

" _I'm not...I'm not sure what to say."_

" _That's okay. I'm sure it's a shock. I just thought you should know the truth. I don't want to keep anything from you. Not anymore."_

She brought her nail to her mouth and chewed on it thought. Rhonda and Helga. _Helga and Rhonda._ She knew they had become close but...she never imagined that It could've escalated into anything more. She couldn't figure out which part shook her the most. The fact that it was Rhonda Wellington Lloyd, the pompous princess from PS 118 or the fact that it was _Rhonda Wellington Lloyd,_ one of the hottest and most regal teenagers at Hillwood High. The fact that it had been going on so long. The fact that…

Her breathing became labored as she fell back upon recollections of her dream from nights ago. Of last night with Lex. She bent forward and pressed her forehead into the heel of her palms as she stared down at the carvings in the student desk. What was she supposed to do? Just let fate and her hormones take over? That wasn't rational. But was the whole world supposed to be rational? Which part was she supposed to focus on? Maybe she liked both boys _and_ girls? What would her parents think? What would they say? She would usually go to her mother with such questions, but she had fear. Sure, society was becoming more lenient on such issues, but she couldn't bear losing her family like that. Not again. Not after she had recently lost…

The notion trailed off and she held the tears behind her eyes. Threatening to leak through.

" _I just...I just hope we can still be friends…And you don't think I'm...disgusting."_

" _Helga...I c-...I could_ _ **never**_ _think that about you."_

The fact that Helga felt some sort of _tainted_ way about herself, was completely wrong. Yet, how could she begin to fathom that way about her own self? If she could believe Helga was beautiful just the way she was, flaws and all; she could start to believe that about her mind and body as well. She didn't want to hold spite inside, and let it eat away at her soul. She could accept what was happening to her. She could accept herself.

"Phoebe, are you alright?" The teacher paused his lecture as he strode to the spot beside her desk. "You look a little pale."

The shorter girl quickly looked up and blinked the puffiness away in her eyes. She meekly nodded. "Yes, Mr. Wolfe. Thank you, I'm fine."

He walked away, towards the front of the class and she released a heavy breath.

" _I just…I don't want to lose you again, Pheebs."_

She moved up her fingers and felt the damp tears of her friend soaked into her shoulder from their last embrace.

" _Helga...oh, Helga I don't want to lose you again either. That's the last thing I want to happen."_

_**XOXOX** _

Miss Heyerdahl left her first class once the bell rang; her spirits feeling lighter. Helga's truth settling within her. She smiled to herself as she walked down the hall and headed towards the cafeteria to grab a snack before next period, when a pair of voices caught her attention a few lockers away.

"This will _definitely_ set you on the right path with your father to getting back those college funds! How else are you supposed to buy me expensive gifts if you're not in a high-end, well paying career? That was a joke by the way. _Sort of._ "

Rhonda was in the middle of rubbing her forehead as she responded to the shorter teenage boy. "Yeah, well, this was all your idea to begin with, so I'm glad you're attempting to fix it."

"My idea!? I did not force your hand to light those fireworks, my dear."

She dropped her hand and crossed her arms. A smirk found its way onto her lips. "Well, it was your fault for _encouraging_ me."

Curly scratched his chin and glanced down at the shimmering plastic outfits that resided in his arms. "Hmm, yes, I am _very_ guilty for that."

Phoebe bolstered her courage as she adjusted the knapsack hanging over her shoulders and strode up to the duo. Her complexion warmed up, especially towards Rhonda. "Hello, you two." She gave a polite bow.

The boy's amber eyes widened behind his glasses for a moment, and he smiled at the surprising gesture while Rhonda's posture stiffened and she altered her face away. Obviously, not entirely comfortable in this current moment.

Curly returned the bow and greeted her. "Hello, my dear, Phoebe, I haven't seen your cute _little_ button face for a hot minute!"

"Likewise, however, you _both_ look at fabulous as ever."

A boisterous laugh escaped from his mouth and he held his chest. "Oh, this is actually an off day for us, but flattery _will_ get you everywhere! What can I do for you? Or, are you here for Li-Li? Because I have a pair of heels in my locker that I can whip on before you can say ' _Gammelthorpe'_." He beamed a confident toothy grin.

"Well, Thaddeus, I overheard you were pursuing football tryouts this Friday. I just want to let you know I send you my support, and I'd be happy to cheer you on from the stands."

He stumbled back in awe and placed a hand back over his sternum and cooed. "Aww. Thank you. At least someone appreciates me!" He subtly jabbed towards the taller girl.

She gestured to the black plastic that resided in his arms. "Do you need any help throwing that away? I was actually going to stop by the cafeteria to purchase a snack before next period. I don't mind tossing it for you."

"Oh, how polite." He commented again, and Rhonda's awkwardness flurried as she shifted her weight on her feet. "But no, this isn't actually trash. They're sauna suits! We're going to sweat out all the toxins from summer, and lay way to a fresh school year. Isn't that right, Rhonda?"

The wealthy teenager hesitated before responding and bit her tongue. "Yes."

Phoebe's hazel eyes widened. "You're both detoxing? Wow, what a gallant effort!"

He waved his hand. "Well, mostly Rhonda, I'm just doing it with her for emotional support. Contrary to popular belief, I actually don't drink that much and I do not smoke marijuana, however, I do attend almost all of Rhonda's parties because I love to dance, and I get to wear her clothes!" He smiled brightly again.

Phoebe held up a finger as she recited. "My father always says, ' _If we are facing the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.'_ "

His hand rose to his mouth in amazement. "Oh my lord, that is my absolute _favorite_ proverb of all time! Girl, how come we never talked much before?"

She gave a modest shrug. "I presume it was because I lived in Kentucky for the past several years."

"Oh, right, right, that whole thing. Well, anyway, Rhonda imploded her father's convertible yesterday and now she's in a whole heap of trouble! He nastily yanked her college funds from under her feet and is going to use it to pay for another _sporty_ **death trap**! So, now we're trying to clean her act up to smooth things out." He lightly nudged Rhonda in the side. "I tell ya, that man could use some more buddhism in his life, and less of the hooch, _if you catch my drift!_ "

The taller teen's face flushed bright red as she finally joined the conversation. She directed her attention toward her blathering friend. "Did you HAVE to say all that about the car thing? _AND_ the college thing?"

His features became confused. "What? Oh, Rhonda, don't worry about it, honey. I'm sure the whole school knows by now."

The tension from Rhonda's temper physically rose as she dropped her arms from her chest and tightened her fists. Phoebe tactfully intervened. "I actually wanted to speak to you as well, Rhonda."

The wealthy girl altered her glowering eyes towards the Miss Heyerdahl; the dark glare pierced through her confidence, but there was a spark of curiosity. Phoebe managed to keep her voice cool and collected. "I'm positively sure you currently have a _very_ busy agenda. However, I was wondering if...in the future, I could...buy you lunch sometime? Or, if you're ever in need of a tutor, I'd be happy to help you in any subject, free of charge."

"Awwww." Curly gushed, and Rhonda's demeanor softened, however her voice was hard.

"Look, Pheebs, I know you're just trying to be nice and all, but right now really isn't a good ti-"

"Well, well, if it isn't the froot loop and the frootettes?" Wolfgang interjected as he walked up to the group with one of his lackeys. "Still feeling that knuckle sandwich we gave you yesterday?" He sneered towards Curly and lightly punched the side of his torso while his minion cackled next to him.

Rhonda bared her teeth and snarled. "How DARE YOU!" She took a step forward and pushed the bulky teen back. "Let's take this outside; I'll fucking drag your ass on the concrete!"

"Woah!" Curly exclaimed, also coming forward and placing a hand upon his friend's chest to stop her. "Honey, you do not need to be looking for trouble right now. You need to stay OUT of trouble."

"I don't _**fucking**_ care!"

"Don't say that! You do care! You do care, Rhon'! I can handle this!"

She drilled her blazing brown eyes into Wolfgang's smug face. "I can handle it too! These assholes have gone on long enough treating you like dog shit under their shoes! What!? Because he's GAY he's not a fucking human being!?"

Finally, Curly moved his palm upon her cheek and made her face him. The glaze of hatred in her eyes scared him, only because he knew what she was capable of. When all her liabilities flew out the window, he was the one that either had to be responsible and calm her from this firestorm, or encourage her and throw fuel onto the flames. He wasn't usually good at that first choice. He begged. "Rhonnie, please, baby, don't. This isn't your battle to fight."

Her face softened a smidge, but she still held a firm and spiteful determination. " _But it is."_ Her voice cracked.

Curly's heart swooned, but he couldn't let her do it. He couldn't let her get hurt or hurt herself like that. He was about to regretfully decline her offer when they both noticed Phoebe now standing between them and the two meaty teenagers.

Miss Heyerdahl stared at the two young men that scowled down at her mockingly, and her back nervously tensed in the brace she wore around her waist. _Stay calm_. _Just breathe._ She found her voice and spoke as sternly as she could muster. "I think it's best if you leave."

Wolfgang released a hearty chuckle. "What? I'm supposed to be afraid of you? Some teeny little punk?" He scoffed as he moved his hand and roughly flicked her on the shoulder.

She stood her ground and glared up at him. She had faced bullies before. Then she was timid, but still somewhat brave. Now, she actually worried about her injuries, about the horrible pain if something were to happen. She felt the emotions bubble up to her eyes, yet she gritted her teeth and controlled herself. She was on the verge of crying, ready for whatever blow were to happen. She wasn't just sweet, innocent, Phoebe anymore. She had an obligation. She had to stand up for what was _right_ and what was _just_. "I said, **LEAVE!** "

He grimaced at her and she returned the firm look. There were a few moments of hesitation before he awkwardly chortled this time. His friend was quiet. "Well, looks like your butchy girlfriends saved you today, _freak_. You might not be so lucky tomorrow." He ended distastefully as he waved his hand in a gesture, and the two walked down the hall, around the corner and out of sight.

Phoebe released a shallow breath as she lifted up her arm, and attempted to still her trembling hand. She felt like she was going to be sick. She closed it into a fist and closed her watery hazel eyes, turning around slowly.

Before a stunned Curly and Rhonda could say anything, Phoebe spoke up quickly, anxiously. "I'll um...I'll leave you two to your detoxing. Have a pleasant day." She left them standing there, and started to wander away, towards the girls bathroom.

Rhonda glanced at her companion who had an expression of awe upon his face; he had involuntarily dropped the plastic suits to the ground. She then turned to the back of the shorter girl walking down the hall. She started a jog and caught up with Phoebe's hastened pace, placing a hand upon her shoulder, noticing Miss Heyerdahl shaking slightly. "Pheebs, wait."

Phoebe reluctantly stopped and turned to the taller girl. "Yes?" He eyes were probably puffy again. She might've been better with confrontations in the past. But she would be lying if she didn't think that Wolfgang had it in him to sock her right in the gut and toss her like a rag doll. The imaginings brought tension to her spine and made it ache.

Rhonda paused as she drew in the quivering features of Phoebe's face. Her own disposition had softened greatly. She simply nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I'd...I'd love to hangout sometime."

_**XOXOX** _

Helga patiently stood outside the classroom, waiting for Phoebe to get out. The bell had rung just minutes ago, and she made her way over as fast as she could, in worry of just missing her friend. She owed Pheebs a lunch period she sure as heck was going to give her. No more shenanigans this time.

She nibbled on her bottom lip as students casually exited the room. No sight of her companion yet. Her skin crawled. All that stuff she said a couple hours ago. Was it too much? Was the timing wrong? She still had her doubts. Phoebe could've just been acting nice to get out of the conversation. She shook her head. No. Everything was fine. Everything was good. She released a heavy breath. She and Phoebe were good. She had to believe it. Bliss kicked that demon's ass into the sky; she had to believe it was for a purpose. Even though she wasn't sure what kind of purpose it was yet.

The shorter teenager finally left the classroom and didn't notice her blonde friend right away amongst the horde of students in the hall. Helga reached out her hand and lightly touched Phoebe's shoulder. "Hey."

The girl instinctively jolted away from the touch of her friend and looked at Helga wildly for a moment then sighed in relief. "Oh, Helga, it's just you." She fell into the blue eyed teenager and gave a tight embrace.

Helga paused at what just happened. She apprehensively hugged back and looked down. "I just wanted to see if you'd want to grab lunch together? I know we didn't plan it but...I thought I could make up for yesterday?" She gently brushed Phoebe's bangs back so she could notice the mixed feelings on her friends face. "Is everything okay?"

Phoebe released a relieved breath. "Everything is fine. And of course I want to grab lunch. But do you mind if we run an errand first?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"Do you know where the 'Recreational Room' is?" She had overheard students talk about such a place since school had started. It was apparently a place you went to when you needed things to get _done._ All the details were vague. Secretive. But she recognized the name her classmates used when whispering about who to meet.

"Yeah, it's like this little room of workout equipment to the side of the gym. Why do you need to go there?" She recollected for a second and her posture stiffened. "Is someone giving you shit? Is that why you freaked out? _Who is it?_ Do I need to whip out these girls? Because I'll pummel some _meat_ heads if I have to." She said, dropping her arms from Phoebe's shoulders and held up her fists. "Come on, Pheebs, tell me. They won't even know what hit em', and when their ass is on the ground, they'll be looking up at the barrel of Ole' Betsy."

"Helga." Phoebe interrupted and smiled. "Your protectiveness is very sweet." She said placing her hands upon Helga's fists to lower them. "But no, it's for someone else. I'm just… fairly jumpy today. Several events have happened and it's only noon." She said, pulling out a piece of paper from her pocket. "Do you think she'll accept this request?"

Helga took the letter and looked down at the notes written on it. She was taken-aback. No one she knew of had the balls to go after a well-known bully like this. Well, until now. He had a mighty high price on his head. However, she bit the inside of her mouth as her heart shivered for her friend and her cheeks flushed. _What a courageous requisition. Such a noble effort._ She pushed her poetic and silly notions aside for the moment as she cleared her throat. "Pheebs, this is great, but, you know he's an extra cost, right?"

"I am aware, but, it'll be worth it." They stared at each other and Helga was lost in her reveries again, staring into those sparkling hazel eyes. Phoebe came close and brought her hand up to adjust the blonde's crooked glasses on her nose and she grinned easily to reassure her friend. "Helga, I don't mind speculating you all day. But can you please guide me to where the 'Recreational Room' is?"

The taller girl blinked a few times out of her twirling thoughts and blushed. She nodded. "Come on." She grabbed her companion's hand and led Phoebe through the students. They reached the gym where a group of boys were practicing basketball and eventually turned to the 'Rec Room'.

The were two teenagers in the space amongst the heavy weights and punching bags. A rather large, stocky teenage boy and a muscular young woman that laid on a bench under a metal bar; thick disc weights hung on each side. She grunted as she pressed her arms against the bar from below and pushed the heavy load up and down in repetition.

The boy encouraged her on. "Just ten more reps and then we can take a break. Man, I'm getting all sweaty."

She groaned as she completed her repetitions and set the bar back on the rack. She responded in a huff. "You haven't even touched a _**five**_ pound weight today. How are you sweaty?"

His stomach grumbled and he winced. "I had mexican for breakfast…"

They then both turned their attention to the duo that walked through the glass door and he puffed up his chest as he approached them. "She's _busy_ right now."

Helga held up a hand. "Save your breath, pink boy. We're not here to talk to you. We can wait."

He snarled and grumbled under his breath. " _Madam fortress mommy..."_

The strong girl sat up on the bench and wiped her forehead with a nearby towel. "Well..." She eyed the two teenagers as she leaned her palm upon her thigh and tossed the towel over her firm shoulder. "Something you can't handle, Pataki?"

Helga stared at her long time friend sitting on the bench. The brown haired young woman must have gained twenty pounds of muscle and three inches of height since the ninth grade. Her short hair was pulled back by a bandana tied around her head and she wore a grey-blue undershirt with a loose pair of gym shorts. She was ripped from head to toe. It was no wonder everyone on the wrestling team called her She-Hulk. And to everyone else it was- "It's out of my hands, _Trish_."

Miss Heyerdahl asserted herself and spoke up. "We're here because of _me_. I wanted to see you."

The bulky girl took a sip of her water bottle and grinned eagerly. "Well, Phoebe Heyerdahl just came back into town and needs my assistance? I wonder who it could be. I'm excited."

Phoebe walked forward and calmly handed Trish the note.

She folded it open and glanced over the words and then _the name_. "Hmm...I hope you know he's triple my regular rate."

"I know."

Helga apprehensively looked to her companion. "Pheebs, are you sure about this? I swear, I can handle it. You just need to say the word. I've been wanting to mash that potato's face for quite some time."

Harold crossed his arms and belted out a single laugh. "Hah! _You_ handle it?"

The crooked toothed boy may have gained some muscle and height as well since they were younger, but he also filled up on stupidity.

"Ah, shut it, BOOB!"

Phoebe smiled at her and placed a reassuring hand upon the blonde's shoulder. "Helga, no offense, but I think we may need professional help. I have a savings fund through the accident and my inheritance. And I believe I can speak with Patricia about some other sort of compensation as well."

"Sure. One time someone paid me their entire collection of BANG comics...That was a pretty sweet trade."

"Oh, and Wrestlemania's coming up! I'm sure Patty would like some tickets to that, huh?" Harold butted his two cents in. Helga was pretty sure he was still the only person that referred to her as _Patty_.

Trish simply rolled her eyes at him.

Phoebe continued to console her unsettled friend. "Do not fret, I'll figure it out."

Helga squeezed her fists and Trish spoke up. "Listen to the woman, Pataki. She'll get her moneys worth." She said as she folded the letter and bent forward to tuck it into her sock. "Just bring forth some sort of payment tomorrow, and he won't be an issue anymore." The bulky girl laid back down on the bench. "Harold, add another twenty. It'll be the _one_ thing you lift today!"

The boy grumbled as he did what he was told and the two teenage girls walked out of the 'Rec Room'.

"I can't believe you did that." Helga said as she shook her head while they exited the gym and into the hall. "What am I saying? Of course I can believe that you did it." She grinned to herself. "I _still_ think I could've handled it, but criminy, Trish is a beast. Even _**I've**_ tasted those fists before. And I've never said this, but I am actually looking forward to school tomorrow. Asshole, won't know what hit him!"

Phoebe disclosed a modest smile as they made their way towards the cafeteria.

The blonde slowed her stride and her voice tendered. "You did a really good thing...you know, for Curly...for _everyone_ really. Even though they may not all deserve it or know who their savior is." She ended distastefully.

Miss Heyerdahl stopped walking, and the two gazed at each other's optimistic features. "I did it for you too." She took a step forward gently grasped her friend's hands into her own. "I've been dwelling, a lot on what you confessed this morning."

Her vulnerability was out in the open again, and Helga's face became uncomfortable for the moment.

"As a... _treasured friend_ , I don't want you to ever be afraid. Or that you have to fight and push back all the time, or...feel outcasted and alone." She released a heavy chuckle and attempted to hold back the overwhelming sentiments rushing to her eyes. "I can't fight worth a damn...I'm not physically adept for brawling. But I want you to feel safe. And _I mean it_ , Helga. I would do whatever it took for you to feel that way."

The blonde's nervous disposition faded. Phoebe's declaration spoke volumes; they echoed into the infinite repository of her squishy brain, and rippled through the blood in her veins. All the serenades and prose she wanted to burst out with utter adoration, would have been too many words. " _I hear you."_

_**XOXOX** _

School had ended. And she wasn't really looking too forward to this next part. Damn, she really wished Phoebe had lied earlier. A chill evening with Pheebs watching a movie or goofing around would've been icing on the cake. Especially since her friend had solidified the reciprocation in wanting to still be friends and wholeheartedly accepted her for who she was. Which was an amazing feeling the blonde could get very used to. But no, she had to run an errand with _football face_ for something that wasn't even her fault in the first place!

They had a pleasant lunch. The shorter girl had told her about some band she saw last night named 'The Ghost Brides' and how Gerald invited her. That could've been _her_ instead of him but, _Rhonda_...She wouldn't have given up that crazy adventure for the world either. There would be more concerts. But there would probably only be one Miss Lloyd blowing up a sports car and confessing her undying love.

Yesterday seemed like forever ago. Her youth seemed like forever ago. Loving Arnold seemed like forever ago. Here she was in this new chapter in her life. Confiding her secretive actions to Phoebe was a big step, and she hoped it was a push in the right direction. She took Bliss' words seriously from her dream. She felt better. Nervous. But better.

She had also dabbled with thoughts of Rhonda and her having a normal friendship. Watching 'Heathers' for the forty-sixth time (apparently Rhonda was keeping count). Going out to eat without being high off their asses at two am in the morning and gobbling down three burritos each. Having the wealthy teen do her up in makeup and expensive dresses when they went to the theatre to see some shmancy show Curly invited them to. She might even be able to convince Rhonda to go with her to a baseball game at Quigley Stadium.

And then there was Phoebe. The beautiful soul that was _Phoebe Heyerdahl_. If she could write her another hundred letters she would, just babbling on about all the marvelous and magnanimous qualities she saw in her friend. Was she falling for Phoebe? That notion ran across her mind several times a day. She didn't think she could ever get over Rhonda. The girl that stole her chastity. She didn't think she would ever get over... _Arnold_. The boy that stole her heart. Now _**that**_ was a rabbit hole she definitely didn't want to peek back down without Bliss there to pull her out.

Phoebe was everything she wanted to be. Rhonda was everything she wanted to look like. And yet, they both unconditionally cared about her. _Her_. Helga G Pataki.

She would have to acknowledge Olga's advice for once; to let time ride it's course, and accept Bliss' cryptic messages in her dream-state. And maybe so, the answers would come to her questions.

The blonde made her way over to the grass and squinted through the cracks in her glasses at the two students running around the football field. _No_. No way. It couldn't have been.

The duo came close as they nearly finished their lap, and one of the figures looked up from her feet. Sweat dripping down her face, the sauna jacket making funny noises as she ran; she noticed the love of her life standing there in the ground before her and Rhonda felt her knees wobble with weakness.

Helga watched as her dark haired friend tripped on the earth and tumbled forward, falling flat on her face.

Curly stopped his jog beside the wealthy girl as he quickly turned on his heel and rushed to his fallen companion. "Oh, honey! You totally ATE it!" He said concerned, but there was also humor in his tone.

The blonde dropped her notebook and ran over as well, taking Rhonda's other arm as Curly helped Miss Lloyd off the grass. "Rhon', are you okay?" She asked worriedly.

Miss Lloyd blushed hard, or was her face just red from the heat? She coughed out some dirt that had lodged itself between her perfect teeth. She had minor scratches and flecks of pebble on her cheeks. The teenage boy began to tentatively brush them away. " _I meant to do that._ "

Helga exhaled a snort. "Now you sound like _me_."

"Are you alright, Buttercup? Your beautiful face isn't broken is it?"

Rhonda peered over at him and snarled faintly. " _What do you think?_ "

He licked his thumb and rubbed the blades of grass away from her pink skin. "Good as new!"

The two released Rhonda as she adjusted herself back to a proper posture and Helga crossed her arms, shaking her head. "What're you two knuckleheads even doing? Looks like you're wearing trash bags with hoods."

The young man started to buoyantly jog in place. "Moving these money makers and sweating! Rhonda has spilled all the tea and confessed that she wants to completely stop being a raging alcoholic and a pot huffing deadbeat. So we're detoxifying!"

His exercise partner responded with a wild glare in his direction.

"Plus, after the whole car thing, her father _kind of_ snatched away her entire college fund." His positive beat was flawless. "So we're atoning for these mistakes by sobering her up!"

Helga glanced over to Rhonda with remorse. Almost too speechless for words. "Is that true? I- I called him last night and told him it was _my fault._ "

Miss Lloyd sighed; her face still flushed and damp. "Helga, that's...well that's _actually_ incredibly sweet, but did you really think he'd fall for that? He knows me like the back of his thousand dollar wristwatch. And in a fit of anger, he did say those things. Whether he actually means it or not when I graduate...I'm not sure. I don't really want to push my luck that far."

"That's right, it's MY job to push her luck!" The dark haired boy exclaimed, panting through his words. "And she didn't even mention the best part! So, I get around a hundred dollars a week to stop by my grandma's place and check up on her and her two english bulldogs, Bruno and Bathilda. BUT- if Rhonda does it, she can get the money, and there, problem solved!

"Curly, can you-" Rhonda winced and feebly held up her hand. "Can you tone down the energy, _please_? I am already physically suffering."

"Oh, honey, It's only because I love you .YOU HEAR THAT WORLD?! **I LOVE RHONDA WELLINGTON LLOYD!** "

"The whole world already knows that."

"I'm just reminding them, dearest."

The blonde raised a brow and pursed her lips in confusion. "Wait a second, that sounds an awful lot like a **JOB**. _Doth my ears deceive me?_ Is Rhonda Lloyd getting... _ **a job**_?" She teased and a smile crept upon her mouth.

Rhonda rolled her eyes and shrugged bleakly. "He wants me to try it out for a couple days, and honestly, I don't have a fucking choice. My father is probably at some car dealership right now, making it rain all over some shiny new convertible, with _**MY**_ _trust fund_!

"Don't worry, Grandma Lilly will adore you! Shes gonna' eat you up, my sweet. And that means less responsibility on me, wahoo!" Curly exclaimed and raised his fists into the air, his legs kicking up with glee.

The wealthy- _hey, wait a sec._ Why am **I** still calling her the 'wealthy teenager'? She's now p-po...puuhh...ahem, _p-pooooor_. Anyway, Rhonda responded with a chiding tone. "It doesn't mean less responsibility because if you join the football team, you'll have to stay after school for practice."

"Ohhhh, fooie! I didn't want that, I just wanted to do it to rub it into Wolfgang's face when I got accepted!" His optimistic demeanor saddened and she wasn't having any of it. Especially since she had to run around looking like a homeless person. All she needed now was a grocery cart full cans to complete the guise.

"Well, if I have to have tea and biscuits with Lillian Gammelthorpe on almost a daily basis, and walk two cross-eyed slobbering mutts, you'll have to finish out this season!" She pointed a stern finger at him.

He began to lightly whine through his huffs.

Helga was just bystanding, enjoying the hilarious argument, when a familiar footballhead walked over and joined them. "Hey, there you are." He said as he stopped by the blonde girl. "I also heard some shouting about Curly loving Rhonda?"

"No mystery there, Sherlock."

Arnold grinned as he interestedly watched Curly jog in place and Rhonda miserable in her sauna suit. "What are you guys doing? It looks like you're wearing garbage bags? Under the hot sun?"

"We're-!"

He was cut off by his irritated partner. " **Curly!** " She then glowered in response to Arnold's prying nature. "It's none of your business, Arnold. And, I think the main question should be-" She crossed her arms with a swishy sound in her suit. "Why are _**you**_ here?" There weren't many reasons to not like Arnold. But obviously, Rhonda had found them all, and it always made Helga delighted.

The blonde girl chimed in. "Well, remember that one time when Arnold _**blinded**_ me and I made him my personal slave? That's happening again."

The green eyed boy shook his head in annoyance. "I am helping Helga with a new pair of glasses, since yes, I did _ACCIDENTALLY_ break her current ones. But there will be no slavery involved. I am voluntarily assisting you this time." He glanced down and checked the watch on his wrist. "And speaking of, we should head to the boutique soon before they close so we can pick you out a pair and get your prescription ordered."

Helga exhaled a breath and nodded rather gloomy. "Right, well..." She immediately gazed at Rhonda. Wanting to talk some more. Wanting to joke around with her good friend. Heck she'd even prefer running around this track with the two goofs if it meant she didn't have to go do adult stuff with you-know-who.

Miss Lloyd acknowledged the knowing look and interrupted. "Arnold, she'll be with you in a minute. Why don't you go wait by the bus stop?" She asked with an edge to her voice, but civil.

"But we-" He gestured to his watch again and Rhonda responded with a punishing stare. Her brown eyes chilling against her heated skin. The footballheaded teen gulped before retaliating. "Oh...kay...Please, don't be long." He gave a slight nod and began to stroll towards the nearby bus stop in front of the school.

Rhonda then called back to her shorter friend who was still jogging in place. "Curly, go run a lap."

"Yes, my love!" He said, beginning to trot around the track again and she pulled back the plastic hoodie, revealing her damp black hair as she took a few steps closer.

Helga gave an affectionate smirk; Rhonda may have been broke, but she was still terrifying as ever. "You look like you're shriveling in that heap. I almost feel sorry for you. _Almost_."

She raised a sweaty manicured brow. "Oh? But I still think I can pull off sexy in just about _anything_." She licked reddened lips and ran her fingers through her shimmering locks. "How are you..um…?" She spoke, her pupils getting lost, gazing through the broken glass and wandering around in the colors of Helga's blue irises.

"Doing? I'm good... _I think._ " Her face softened and she rubbed the back of her neck anxiously. "I feel guilty, about your... _dad situation_."

Rhonda exhaled a gentle laugh. "So sympathetic." She snapped her fingers and pointed in Helga's direction. "That's your problem, Pataki. You feel too much. _Softie._ " She lightly poked the blonde's collar.

"And she's back to giving me shit. You must really be fine." Helga shook her head and tried not to smile too much.

Miss Lloyd's hands fell onto her hips assuredly. "Well, to be honest I'm probably just delusional from the heat exhaustion and dehydration and can't really focus on my emotions right now."

The blonde's brows scrunched in faint worry. "Do I need to go get you a jug of water? Because I don't need you two _dying_ on me."

"Your concern is lovely. But actually, while I trudge around under the grueling sun, all I imagine is being picked up and carried to a gold plated clawfoot tub. And the bathwater is a cool seventy degrees. I wouldn't mind a margarita as well. _Wink. Wink. Nudge. Nudge._ " Her tone was playful.

"Or I could just dunk your head in the toilet of the girls bathroom. Old fashioned swirlie should do the trick."

"Why-" Rhonda squinted and lifted a finger to rest on her chin in thought. "Why does that thought _turn me on_?" She pointed to her friend accusingly. "Are you _**flirting**_ with me?"

Helga chuckled and weakly pushed her. "Knock it off."

The brown eyed teen returned the laugh. "And I'm just shitting you. Curly and I nabbed the five gallon dispenser from the boy's locker room. It's by the bleachers. But I am sweating my guts out. Maybe literally. I dont know, there's alot going on under this suit." She lifted the bottom of the plastic jacket and her glossy torso was revealed.

Helga stared down at the defined abdominals that tensed under Rhonda's perspired skin. She swallowed as a subtle heat rose within her and her insides did a flip. But it also could've been the heat from outside, because criminy, it was hot!

"Want a hug?" Rhonda gazed at her and asked a little too innocently.

The blonde retaliated and shook off the desires bouncing around in her head. "Maybe when you don't reek of _swamp ass._ " She exhaled despairingly. "But Rhon', I gotta' go. Otherwise Arnold's going to come back over, and no one wants that."

Curly heaved out several breaths as he finished his lap and met up with the girls again. "Another one, dearest?"

Rhonda bit her bottom lip and glanced back at the dark haired boy. "Just-...just a couple more seconds. Besides, even if you're making me do this, you do look so _fucking_ cute jogging in your suit like that."

His face beamed like it was the best news he ever heard. "Thank you, my darling!"

Miss Lloyd faced Helga again and slowly nodded. "Jokes aside, I am fine. I have this ' _noodle'_ to keep me focused." She jutted her thumb towards a bouncing Curly. "And the thing with my father...it's whatever. It is what it is...I don't regret anything I did."

"I'm glad you don't regret it." Helga responded earnestly. Her eyebrows became nervous and scrunched together. "By the way...I um...I told Pheebs. A- About you and I. _I hope that's okay._ "

Rhonda hesitated before speaking. Her tone was surprisingly gracious. "I figured. She, uh...she wants to hang out sometime. I took her up on the offer. I don't know if she told you but, um...she was pretty _amazing_ today. She's cool in my book."

A pink tint rose to Helga's face. "...She is _amazing._ "

"Better than us ' _jezebels'_." She joked and then gestured towards the direction of the bus stop. "You better go join up with the _boy wonder_ over there before he throws a football in the boutique."

Curly belted out a laugh through his breaths as he listened in. "Good one!"

The blonde nodded in agreement but paused for a second before taking a step forward and wrapped her arms around Rhonda's waist in a snug embrace.

The dark haired girl's eyes widened in awe, but she grinned affectionately and moved her taut biceps around Helga's shoulders, nuzzling her sweaty cheek against her friend's.

Helga hastily dropped her hands and pulled away at the discomfort, rubbing the moistness off her face. "Rhon'! _Eww!_ "

" _Now_ _ **git'**_ _!_ " Rhonda yelled as she pointed to a waiting Arnold off in the distance, and Helga rolled her now annoyed blue eyes as she strolled away.

Miss Lloyd's heart swelled as she watched the back of Helga Pataki. Much like she had so many times before. Sweat continued to drip down her face, down her entire body. She was hot, tired, and crabby. But she had to admit, she was completely content in this moment. That is until she felt her ass get slapped.

Curly began to trot forward again. " _If we are facing the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking!_ Come on, champ!"

Her head fell back and she groaned, before moving her legs and joining him.

_Freakin',_ ' _ **noodle'**_ _!_


	14. Bubble

_**~2003~** _

Rhonda ripped off the plastic jacket fast as she could and flopped down into the cooling grass, tossing the horrid top aside. Her pores gasped for air as sweat trickled over her body. The sports bra she wore around her torso was dark with perspiration. Her hair was shimmery and wet. Pretty much every ounce of water in her body was escaping, at least that's what it felt like.

She achingly rolled onto her back and stared up at the beaming sun, wincing at first until she closed her brown eyes. The back of her eyelids were a bright fleshy color as she breathed heavily through her nostrils, attempting to drift off, letting death's sweet embrace take her. Her legs and waist we're the consistency of jelly now; this was how it was going to _end_.

The teenage girl laid there, her skin drying from the brief breeze, until a shadow stepped in front of the light beating down upon her. She hesitantly opened her eyes to stare up at the figure.

Her friend's silhouette stood there above. He shook his head lightly and placed his hands upon his hips; his own plastic jacket resided under his arm. "I returned the dispenser back to the locker room. Shall we go get my bike?"

She released an uncomfortable groan. Even breathing exhausted her weathered lungs. " _Just leave me here to_ _ **die**_ _."_ She responded dramatically.

"Oh, darling, that's just the lack of electrolytes talking. Come, come, let's take you back to my place so we can stuff you full of protein." He said as he bent and reached down his hands for her to latch onto.

Rhonda didn't move for several moments before accepting his gesture and stood up with his help. "I ran around the field with you. I did what you wanted. Can we be nice to me now?"

Curly grinned up at her pleasantly; his own face revealing moisture and redness from the exercise. "Of course, my pet, and I am _oh so_ proud of you. I will be your dutiful servant for the rest of the night! How about I draw you a soothing bath when we get back to my place?

She exhaled a gratuitous sigh at the thought. "That sounds amazing."

The young man collected the remaining suit she had tossed on the lawn into his knapsack, and the two made their way back over to the building. Assuming they were going over to bike rack, Rhonda was surprised when her companion walked towards the dumpsters residing by the side of the school. Curly grunted as he grabbed onto the large trash receptacle and lugged it back a few feet, allowing him to squeeze behind the reeking steel container.

Rhonda strode over very confused. "Why on earth are you back there? It smells putrid!" She exclaimed and resisted the urge to gag.

He called to her through shuffling of trash behind the dumpster. "Because my bike is back here!"

"Why is your bike behind a dumpster?"

Curly finally shook free his mode of transportation behind the large receptacle and rolled out the bicycle in front of her. "So no one feels the urge to slash my tires. It happened a couple times last year." He shrugged plainly. "So I've learned." He then went to the backpack hanging on his shoulders and pulled out a container of sanitizing wipes.

She angrily shook her head and crossed her arms, releasing a huff. " _Fuckers_." She grumbled under her breath, noticing his calm composure as he began to clean. "Doesn't it bother you!?"

He knelt down to wipe the aluminum frame and glanced up at her. "Which part? The fact that my bike stinks or that I have to hide it?"

She threw her arms into the air. "All of it! You act like it's just a normal part of everyday life. I don't understand how you can brush it off so easily."

The teenage boy finished cleaning off the grime before responding placidly. "Are you suggesting I should _shed a tear_ or _feel sad_ about it? To show Wolfgang that his atrocious bullying is getting the better of me?"

Rhonda bit the inside of her lip and attempted to control her blustering emotions. "No, just... _don't you want to_ _ **hurt**_ _them?_ "

He finally stood up and placed the container back in to his knapsack, tossing the soiled wipes into the dumpster. "Physically? No. Then I'm just as bad as them. I can get my _**revenge**_ in other ways, darling. Which is what I plan to do! Besides, I-..." Curly paused for a moment, which is something he rarely did. If ever. His amber eyes solemnly glistened behind his glasses. " _...anyway._ "

"What?" She noticed and persisted. "What were you going to say?"

He sighed and shook his head. "I don't know why I'm so... _defensive_ about it. Especially with you, I-...I trust you wholeheartedly. Maybe I'm just, defensive in general lately. I don't want you or anyone to feel obligated to stand up for me. I can take care of myself. But, if you must know, I've only ever _cried_ over _you_."

That left her silent for the moment.

The shorter teen came closer and smiled softly to reassure her. "It's not about being _macho_. And I'm not ignorant to his size and my size. I want to _prove_ something to myself."

"What is there to _prove_?"

"That I can do anything he can do. But he can't do everything I can do." His grin widened. " He doesn't have restrain. He doesn't have wit. And that oafish twat would never be able to sport pumps like me!"

Rhonda exhaled a chuckle. "I didn't need that image in my head." She then determinedly stared down into his eyes. "I only stick up for you because I _care_ about you. Not that I think you can't do it on your own."

"I know." He absentmindedly brushed the handlebars of his bicycle. "I really love it when you're like this."

Her brows knitted together in question. "Like what?"

" _Tender._ " He coyly pursed his lips before continuing. "Helga must've done a number on you. She really pummeled that firm heart of yours into a _succulent_ cut of meat."

Miss Lloyd awkwardly cringed and goosebumps rose upon her skin. "You said you were going to be **nice to me!** " She crossed her arms in a pout.

He laughed loudly and held his chest. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Curly then gestured to his long time mode of transportation. "So, is _she_ just like you remembered?"

"Your bike?" The taller girl shrugged simply. "Sure."

He scoffed and one of his hands fell onto his hip. " **Rhonda Wellington Lloyd!** _You_ named her! You might have been as drunk as a sailor when you did it, but you did!"

Rhonda glanced up at the bright blue sky and squinted her eyes; attempting to wander back in time and recollect.

It seemed like forever ago, but in all actuality, it wasn't. In the spring of 2002, a younger Miss Lloyd had signed up for Drama Club as some optimistic ploy to win over her father's affections. If she could act or sing or whatever else, maybe he'd pay more attention to her. Maybe he'd come home more. Nevertheless, she was not assigned to be the main star of the stage; she was condemned to be behind the curtains in a lowly corner, stitching outfits and costumes. And not to mention, her new overseer was someone she had come to despise since pre-school.

_No. No way in HELL._

However, as much as she hated the shorter boy with that wild gaze permeating his eyes and didn't really care for listening to Sheena's pipsqueak vocal chords; she equally wanted to make her father proud and it just so happened all the other extra curricular classes were full up.

So, she was the newest tribute to 'Wardrobe', and had to live a fate of fixing tacky fabrics with god-awful design choices. All she knew when she set foot on that creaky wooden stage that day was how to dress herself well, and how to spend money. Yet, when she left, she could stitch, she could hem, and the sewing part would be a work in progress.

If you told her years ago, that Thaddeus 'Curly' Gammelthorpe and she would be able to spend afternoons together, laboring over costumes and thread, chuckling about nothing and over-all having a good time? She would've slapped you.

He was tolerable. He was kind. He was helpful. And honestly, she didn't know these personality traits existed in that crazy little body of his.

So, they became acquaintances, then _friends_ in a surprising short amount of time.

What was she supposed to be remembering again? Oh, yeah, yeah, the bike thing. She may have ridden on the bicycle once or twice throughout sophomore year. Usually she would get a ride home from her father, but she must've been so smashed from a bottle of whiskey she smuggled to school, that she knew it was a terrible idea for the older man see her like that. Thus, Curly must've offered her a ride home, and she must've 'yes' to his proposal.

She supposed she named the bike one of those times, and she might be able to recall said 'name' if this tangent of foggy memories ever cleared the **fuck** up.

Rhonda blinked a few times and altered her gaze from the sky and back to her shorter companion. "I'm not going to lie, I can't remember a _damn_ thing about this bike."

Curly released a faint sigh. "Oh, honey, you're _so lucky_ you have **me**."

Miss Lloyd ran her fingers through her moist hair as the fond memories still danced around in her brain from years ago. Or maybe she was starting to get light headed from the lack of hydration and sun beating down on her head. "However, remember when you were my psychotic stalker, and then you became one of my best friends?" She attempted to wrap her hazy mind around the question. "Doesn't that ever just... _ **BLOW YOUR MIND!?**_ " Was she having withdrawals or just going nuts? Was she actually _SUN HIGH!?_

The young man released a hearty chortle and placed a hand upon her shoulder to steady himself. "Rhonnie, I'm sure I've told you this but-" He calmed himself. "In all seriousness, when you joined Drama Club, I mentally stood beside myself and said, 'You actually have a chance to be more than the abhorred antagonist in this story; don't fuck it up.'" He grinned wide. "And so, yes, here we are. Does it ' _blow my mind'_? Sometimes, but I _thoroughly_ enjoy it."

His response brought her focus back to earth. He had told her that before, but she liked hearing it again all the same.

"You know, the spiraling obsession; I haven't felt that spark in a long time. Maybe It'll come along again someday for someone new. Maybe not. Maybe I've **grown.** " His features were stern for a split second and then he slipped a small smile. "Or it could've been the decrease in sugar intake when I started high school; my mother was livid after I racked up a small fortune in fillings and root canals."

Rhonda looked down at him with the blankest stare. " _ **Everything**_ makes so much sense now."

He raised his arms into the air gleefully. "But that's in the past! As for the present, I have a mouth full of porcelain, and I am grateful to be your obliging companion!" He then gestured to the handlebars of the bicycle. "M'lady? Shall we?"

The teenage girl groaned as he steadied the frame and she uncomfortably sat her butt on the metal bars; her feet planted onto the pegs of the front wheel. "Just to let you know, when I'm not drunk, I _hate_ this." She grumbled while he adjusted his weight on the saddle and his right foot on the pedal. "And we have to get out of this sun soon, otherwise I think I might astral project from my physical body."

With a push, he began to slowly ride the bike away from the highschool and down the sidewalk. Rhonda slouched back into his chest for support and he grinned happily to himself even though his legs were already aching from their run earlier. "I'm sure _**Courtney**_ is glad you're riding on her again."

Rhonda's brown eyes widened as she attempted to ignore her own pain and watch the sidewalk pass underneath them. "Huh! That was the name! _**Courtney.**_ " Nope, still no recollection of that. She spoke back to her friend. "Also, isn't it after school? Don't you have to check up on your Grandma?"

He faintly panted as his thighs pushed their weight on the crank. "She's visiting my uncle in North Dakota right now. She'll be back on Sunday. And that means, you get to take care of her on Monday!"

" _Oh, joy._ " She responded dryly as she focused on the weathered concrete in front of them again.

Their heads were practically side by side as he leaned forward and she leaned back. They both didn't smell... _great_ , but he didn't mind it one bit. He took comfort in the closeness, and even if he no longer saw her as a romantic interest or a figurative trophy to be placed on some non-existent pedestal, he was genuinely happy. Happy she had somehow found a way to accept him as he was, and happy he he could reciprocate the feeling. He licked his dry lips and spoke softly, since her ear was right there. "I know for a long time, I was a incorrigible pest to you...It may be late to say it but, I'm glad you eventually gave me a chance, to show I was something more."

She didn't respond, however, there was very tiny smile that creased the edges of her mouth. She mustered to hold it back.

His voice then lowered to a playful whisper. " _This is the part where you say, 'I'm glad too, Curly.'"_

Rhonda rolled her eyes and shuffled her weight on his chest in annoyance. "I'm **glad** you're my servant for the rest of the night."

The boy grinned to himself as he continued to push on. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

_**XOXOX** _

Around thirty minutes later, Curly rounded to the front walkway of the Gammelthorpe condominium and Rhonda eagerly hopped off the handle bars. She rubbed her butt as they entered the home and he parked the trusty bicycle in the foyer of the household.

She complained aloud as she removed her sneakers. "Ugh, my ass hurts from those handlebars and my skin is crawling from the residue of my own filth."

The young man set his backpack next to the door and he kicked off his shoes as well. "Mommy, I'm home! And Rhonda's with me!" He called, and shortly after a dark haired woman of similar height to her son came shuffling out of the kitchen. She was holding the handle of a telephone with a very long cord attached to it.

Her eyes brightened as she saw the two teenagers. "Oh, Addy, you're just in time! I was about to order a pizza since your father will be staying late at the office. Sausage sound okay for you, Rhonda? We're meat lovers in this family!"

" _You definitely are."_ Miss Lloyd mumbled under her breath as she glanced in her friend's direction and Curly gave her a light glare before responding.

"She said it sounds _**great**_ , mommy!"

Rhonda bit her bottom lip and cleared her throat before responding appropriately. "Thanks, Gina."

He stepped forward to give his mother a hug. "We're just going upstairs to clean up and then we'll be down okay?"

The older woman obviously didn't mind the embrace from her dirty son. As Rhonda assumed, she must've loved on him through much worse grime than this. "Okay, I'll just be in front of the TV! The Soap channel is marathoning _Physicians Hospital_ all night!"

He gasped. "Oh my gosh, you _better_ be recording it!"

"You know it!"

She then went back to the kitchen to order as the two teenagers made their way upstairs and to the bathroom by Curly's room.

As soon as her feet hit the linoleum tile, Rhonda grabbed the bottom of her sports bra and pulled up, lifting it over her head and tossed it to the ground while her companion went to the tub and turned the knob above the faucet; he looked back to her as she yanked down her yoga leggings. "Would you like me to add some bubbles?"

He was no stranger to Rhonda's nudity by now. They've had so many sleepovers at this point, he'd lost count. She wasn't someone to be ashamed of her figure, and he decided he wouldn't be either. Yet, it was hilarious when he first dropped his pants in front of her; the memory of her eyes unexpectedly widening and milk shooting out from her nose might've been his favorite of all the moments they've shared together.

She smirked and placed her hands upon her bare hips. "Do you have any, lavender scented?"

"I actually think we might!" He exclaimed as he moved over to the cabinet under the sink and began to search while she dipped her foot into the rising water. "Found it!" He said as he grabbed the purple bottle and walked back over to the tub.

Rhonda placed her other foot in and crouched down to rest her tired ass into the warm water while Curly altered his hand by the tap. "Tell me when to stop." He said as he began to pour the gooey solution.

She rested her head back onto the tile wall as she watched him. A sly grin made its way onto her mouth.

After several moments, he curiously glanced over to her.

The teenage girl innocently shrugged. "What? I want lots of bubbles." She waited a couple more seconds before relieving him. "Okay, you can stop."

He lifted up the bottle and set it onto the rim of the tub. "How's the water?"

"Boiling. Just how I like it, thank you."

He nodded his head as he gazed down at the soapy foam forming in the rising water. "Good, good…"

She noticed the wild look of desire creep into his amber colored eyes like she had witnessed so many times before. Rhonda exhaled a chuckle. "Get your ass in here."

"Yay! I thought you'd never ask, I love bubbles!" He proclaimed as he began to rip off each article of clothing that he wore. His glasses even flew somewhere.

"Well, you only get a small percentage of the bubbles. The rest are mine. I plan on monopolizing them, and then selling my shares for a ridiculously high price. That's how I plan to get all my money back."

He hopped buck-naked into the tub and sat with his back to the faucet, across from her; too enthused with the froth to pay attention to her joke. He scooped bubbles with his palms and rubbed them onto his chin. His voice deepened. "Ho, Ho, Ho, _Rhonda Wellington Lloyd_ , if you don't get off the **damn** naughty list, I'm going to run out of _COAL_!"

She pursed her lips and struggled hold in a laugh; sinking down into the rising water that now drifted over her stomach and around her breasts. He wasn't going to get her that easily.

Her knees were still bent, as were his, but there were no complaints. As long as he didn't fart. That's something she _WOULD NOT_ tolerate.

Curly cupped more soapy bubbles in his hands and blew them towards her. A few landed on the tops of her thighs. "Did you and Helga ever take baths with bubbles?"

Rhonda was currently staring at the ceiling of the bathroom, calmly enjoying the temperature of the liquid surrounding her and the scent of lavender. "...No." She blinked slowly before she continued; her mind sailing away into a sea of memories again. "We would...shower together, once in a while." She spread her knees slightly and looked through her thighs to him as he gathered shampoo from a nearby bottle and began scrubbing his hair. She spotted some bruises near his ribs, but she decided not to comment. "So far, you've been my only bath buddy."

"Aww, I feel honored." He then paused his lathering and raised a brow as her torso sunk lower and she let her jaw float on the water. "You're not enjoying your bubbles."

"Oh, sorry, I-..." Her demeanor shifted awkwardly. "I, uh, I'm enjoying watching _you_ enjoy them."

He reached behind him to turn the faucet; the water pouring from the spout stopped. "I didn't mean to-... _ask_ you something so personal about Helga like that. I suppose it just slipped out."

"We're _naked_ and in a bathtub together. I think modesty between us is out the window. I guess I just... _I miss her._ " She altered her eyes back to the ceiling. "I'm over all the fucking drama. _Big Shocker:_ _Rhonda Wellington Lloyd gets grounded for life, and loses her entire college fund!_ " She involuntarily clenched her fists under the water. "I don't care anymore, I'm so fucking over it! I am _OVER IT,_ _ **BUCHWALD!**_ " She shouted and then her composure softened into the foam surrounding her. " _And all that's left...is Helga._ "

Curly stopped rinsing his hair as he listened to her vent. "I can take being poor. I've endured it in the past. I just-... _I want her back._ " Surprised she had anymore water left in her body, tears threatened at the corners of her eyelids. "Last night, I told her some love-induced bullshit about being _strong_ and being _happy_ apart from each other. I thought it's what she wanted to hear, and for a moment I believed in it too. But, I want what we _had_. Even if the showers weren't as intimate as I wanted them to be. Even if we only had three make out sessions in total. It was great for what it was. And I was stupid. And I was foolish. _And I_ _ **ruined**_ _it._ "

"Rhon', I saw you two earlier today. You didn't _**ruin**_ anything. What you two have has just changed." He responded with sincerity.

"I pressured her into all this **shit**. Because I was a stupid little princess that was bored with all the fortune and had nothing better to do. And after a while...I was just _selfish_ and didn't want to let go. For a long time, _she was the only person I had to talk to. I understand why she wanted a break, I just-..._ "

"Darling, you two have a strong friendship. You both had each other in a time of need. I'm sure Helga Pataki wouldn't do anything she wouldn't want to do." He started to wash under his arms. " _Although_...I am thinking about dropping you soon too. You're too much of a bad influence on me." He teased with a straight face.

Rhonda smirked as she glanced back to him. "That's the first time I ever heard you complain about _my influence._ "

A smile escaped from his lips. "You're right. I'm terrible at lying about not liking you."

"Little troll."

"Joke's on you, I secretly _**love it**_ when you call me that." He continued to scrub his body. "But you're right. All the bullshit is over with. It's settled. And you're left with is what's underneath."

She she raised her arms and moved her palms to her face, letting the water drip onto her cheeks. "All I am is _sad_ about Helga and _angry_ at my father. How do I fix it without...all the shit I usually abuse to forget about it?"

"Hmm, well you could start with being less sad and angry." He responded plainly.

She irritably rolled her eyes and her voice dripped with sarcasm; her hands flew into the air. "Wow, you're a **fucking** genius! Why didn't I **fucking** think of that!?"

He pleasantly shrugged. "It's a gift! And you may think I'm crazy but it's true. Focus on positive things. Keep busy. Oh! I'll tell my Grandmother to whip out one of her puzzles with **a billion** pieces; that should keep you occupied for a while."

The teenage girl released a sigh but nudged his foot with hers under the water. "Don't stop telling me."

"Don't stop telling you what?"

"To... _keep going_."

He grinned and leaned forward, placing a modest kiss on the top of her knee. "I wouldn't dream of it, my dear." He then placed his palms on the acrylic rim and stood up; grabbing a hanging towel nearby as he stepped out of the tub. "You figure on _pruning?_ " He asked with a mischievous tone as he wrapped the thick fabric around his torso.

"Maybe..." She nibbled on the inside of her lip. "You wouldn't happen have any _magazines_ lying around would you?"

Curly pondered and glanced over to the top of the toilet where a stack of assorted catalogs resided. He picked one up and flipped through the pages. "Would a high-fashion swimwear catalog from 2002 work?"

Rhonda browsed the cover and her brown eyes sparkled with appetite. _High fashion? Swimsuits?_ _ **Women?**_ "That'll do."

He went to hand over the catalog but as she sat up and reached for it, he pulled it away. The young man chided. "Here's the plan, I get to paint your toenails after dinner. You have to then help me make a couch cushion fort in front the the TV. And then we watch whatever you want until we fall asleep. But 'whatever you want' will most likely have to be _Physicians Hospital,_ because I'm sure my mother won't move from the couch until morning _._ Any objections?"

This was all to her benefit, yet, he said it like a punishment. Rhonda Lloyd would never pass up on a toenail painting session or cheesy soap operas. She teased him back. "If I say 'no' will you take away the catalog?"

"Definitely. And then you'll only be left to your imagination, and we STILL will have to follow through with the plan."

The sparkle in her eyes darkened. "I'm pretty sure you know that won't be a problem."

"Oh, I know. However…" He said looking through the pages again. "Stephanie is looking rather scrumptious in last year's Spumoni two-piece bikini." His amber eyes widened humorously. "Oh, my, goodness. They have it in _red_." He said, showing it to her and flaunting the photograph.

Rhonda gritted her teeth. "Fuck." She grunted in defeat. "Yes. Yes. Yes. Do whatever you wish to me tonight. I can bear the torture! But I can't bear _this_!"

He finally relinquished the catalog into her clutches. "You know. I hope that doesn't become the new Helga."

She started to quickly browse through it, her eyes darting all over the pictures. Each one filled with alluring women captured at the beach. "Mmm, there _are_ quite a bit of blue eyed blondes in here." She stopped on a model and moaned lightly. "These bandeaus are gorgeous! Why didn't I see these last summer?"

The young man shook his head as he strode over to the medicine cabinet, opened it, and grabbed a container filled with deep sea mud. He genially scolded her again before he left. "Well, don't be too long. Your pizza will get cold and no one likes a cold, limp sausage."

"Oh, I'm sure I'll be down there before you know it."

Curly released a chuckle and left the bathroom, gently closing the door behind him.

Her visual craving not yet satiated, she swiftly turned through the pages again, until she found _her_. A thinner blonde haired model in a fuchsia colored bikini. Rhonda raised her pointer finger to her mouth and sunk her teeth into it. Her eyes drank in selective details about the photo; fueling her itch, spiraling to those dark hidden moments in time. Filled with heat and lust and... _love_.

Rhonda felt a stab of agony in her heart, and it drove her deeper, further. If she could get lost in that whirlwind of desire, of fervor, maybe the ache would fade away. She wouldn't need alcohol. She wouldn't need weed. And she wouldn't need anything from her father ever again. At least for a couple seconds.

She stuck another finger in her mouth as she leaned forward and set the catalog against the rim of the tub in front of her by the faucet; it rested against the wall tile and she finally stretched out her legs.

Miss Lloyd's torso fell back into the warm water as her eyes locked onto the model in the picture. She inserted a third finger into her mouth and her free hand fell below into the soapy water.

Her breaths hastened, her eyelids twitched, her fingers started to hurt, and she muffled a moan through the pleasure and the pain. She continued. And she continued. And she continued. Until she couldn't keep her eyes open any more and shut them tight.

" _Criminy, I gotta' admit Rhonda, you can do some fantastic things with that mouth."_

She continued harder.

" _Fuckin' throw me against this wall and take me, like a queen_."

And harder.

" _Rhon'...I love you too."_

And then.

The world suspended. She was high. The crushing weight of loneliness had dissipated. And her mind was wholly captive to the evanescent euphoria.

_**XOXOX** _

Curly sat at the kitchen table; bath towel atop his head, mud mask applied and robe donned, he chewed on a slice of pizza and continued reading through ' _Carmen'_ as he waited for Rhonda. His mother sat on the couch in the nearby living room. Her eyes were drawn to the light of the television set while she absentmindedly munched on her own meal; completely enthralled in the titillating drama of the episode.

Through the noises coming from the soap opera, the teenage boy heard the creak of the stairs and he quickly rounded in his chair as he watched his friend make her way down and enter the kitchen.

She wore a familiar shirt, a pair of his boxers, and her wet hair was combed back into a short ponytail. He saw an opportunity and he had to take it. "Wow, take a gander at that glow! You're blinding me from here-!"

" _ **Shut it.**_ " Rhonda snapped as she sat down on the chair opposite from him at the table.

"And you look immaculate in my shirt! I'm sure Helga would love to sport that one."

Well, of course she looked good in it. SHE BOUGHT IT. The bold print read ' **Rhonda's Hunk** ' on the older tee. "You're lucky your mother is here. Otherwise, I'd give you some _choice_ words."

He chuckled as she opened one of the boxes and pulled out a pizza slice, immediately sticking it into her mouth. Damn, she didn't realize how hungry she was until now. Curly began to sing as she ate; his voice deepened again. " _When the moon hits your eye like a big'a pizza pie, that's amooooorreeeee!_ "

She groaned and yelled in the direction of the living room; food still occupying her mouth. "Gina, how do you deal with _thish_ on a daily bashish!?"

The mother finally averted her eyes from the TV and called back. "Oh, I find him rather adorable!"

The teenage boy smiled much too wide for Rhonda's taste. "Thanks, Mommy!"

Miss Lloyd swallowed and took another hearty bite. "Jusht don't get her to shtart shinging too."

A black cat bounced onto the chair next to Curly and he acknowledged the purring pet. "Coco, just LOVES our singing. Don't you Coco?"

The cat mewed affectionately.

"No, you may not have a bite of my big'a pizza pie." He glanced back to his friend. "By the way, since you'll be needing to get to my Grandmother's house rather swiftly after school, have you pondered a mode of transportation yet?"

The taller girl rolled her eyes as she gobbled down the rest of the slice. "Now you're _**making**_ me think of that too?"

"My cousin left his skateboard here last summer. You can have it. I doubt the _little prick_ will miss it." He ended distastefully.

"Addy, language."

"Sorry, Mommy."

Rhonda pouted to herself; she definitely didn't want to ride a smelly old bus. And she obviously had no money to buy her own car, but seriously? She had to now _stoop_ to SPORTS to get around? _Running? Biking? Skating?_ Pretty sure those were all some type of sport. "Ugh, are you joking? I don't even know how to ride one of those things!"

"Easy, we'll get a rope, tie one end around Courtney, tie the other around your torso. You'll learn in no time."

She grouchily slouched into the chair and tapped her sore fingers on the top of the table. "You just have a plan for everything, don't you?"

Curly took another nibble of his meal. "What's that saying? 'Mother knows best?'" He shook his head. "It's a dang miracle you and Helga have made it this far."

"I have a mother you know."

"Yes, your _real_ mother is out in the Arizona desert right now on a spiritual journey, drinking peyote and roasting in a sweat lodge."

"You forgot she's probably _fucking_ her native lover." She sighed and moved her hand up to massage her brow. "But I can't complain, she's happy and Kwahu is a sweet guy. He sent me those really comfy moccasins last year for Christmas. Jesus, I would never wear them in public though."

"Rhonda?"

"Yes, Gina?"

"Language."

"Sorry, Gina."

The young man released a breathy swoon as Coco batted her furry paw at an unattended pizza slice on the plate in front of him. "Lord, he is _very_ dreamy." He then stiffened his posture and pointed to the teenager across the table. "But until she gets back, _**I**_ know what's best for you."

Rhonda rolled her brown eyes and took out another slice from the greasy box. Shutting up and not resisting was probably for the best. She didn't have nearly as much energy as him anyway. All she needed now was a big white flag to flail around in defeat...Nah, too much work. "Yes, Li-Li."

He grabbed a nearby napkin and snapped it out, lying it in front of her. "Don't forget to wipe your beautiful face, my sweet."


End file.
